4 Mantras To Recite Before Breaking Up With Someone, So You Can Let Go

There are few things harder than making the decision to end a relationship, especially when your partner doesn’t see it coming. Regardless of what your reasons might be for the breakup, you may catch yourself second-guessing and questioning your decision. What if you’re making the wrong choice? What if you’re not as happy without them? Dwelling on these questions may make you spiral, so in order to keep your head above water, it’s helpful to have a few mantras to recite before breaking up with someone.

Now that cuffing season is officially in full swing, it can be easy to get caught up in the idea of being in a relationship. Having a special someone to come home to and marathon cringeworthy Hallmark movies with can provide a huge source of comfort during the holiday season. However, this time of year, some people may feel more inclined to stay in a relationship that they know deep down isn’t totally fulfilling them. If you fall into this category, you may be dragging your feet when you know your connection is at a dead-end, and sometimes, you just gotta rip the band-aid off. To help you do that, here are some mantras to keep in mind.

I fully trust myself and my instincts.

Reflection of a young attractive caucasian woman looking to mirror. Wearing casual, beautiful blue eyes, serious look. Indoors, copy space.

Shutterstock

If you’ve been going in circles trying to decide whether or not to break up with someone, it can feel almost impossible to get out of your own head and look at things objectively. There’s always going be what-ifs and unanswered questions, but the key is to have faith in yourself and your instincts. This is especially important to keep in mind if the breakup isn’t mutual, and your ex-partner tries to convince you that things are better with them than without them.

Nicole Richardson, a licensed counselor and marriage and family therapist, recommends taking a step back and remembering why you wanted to do this in the first place. “It is important to have a list of all the reasons you broke up,” she tells Elite Daily. “And remind yourself when your brain starts to play the tape of all the ‘good ol’ times.’”

I’m focused on prioritizing my happiness.

Pain is a given after any breakup, and if you had deep feelings for each other, it may not be an easy transition at first. Because feelings don’t just fade away the day after a breakup, getting to a point where you feel OK again may be hard on both of you. If you’re someone who’s prioritized your partner’s feelings instead of your own in the past, try to switch mindsets and focusing on your own happiness and well-being. Take some time to really think about what makes you happy, whether it’s hanging out with your friends, trying a new workout class, or eating your bodyweight in double-stuff oreos (all three are equally valid options, IMO).

It’s OK to care about someone and move on without them.

This mantra can be the hardest to internalize. When you’re so used to having your life intertwined with someone else’s, it can be extremely difficult to imagine yourself moving on without them, especially if there’s no bad blood between the two of you. Just because you want to go your separate ways doesn’t mean you don’t still care about each other — it can just means that you’re ready to start a new chapter in your life and figure out who you are as an individual.

I deserve to be in a relationship that fulfills me.

We’re all tired of hearing the cliché: “there are plenty more fish in the sea”, but sometimes, it really can help put things in perspective. Currently, there are over 7.5 billion people on this planet, so your odds of finding a relationship that’s fulfilling, exciting, and uplifting are fortunately pretty high. Keep reminding yourself that there’s probably someone better out there, and that you deserve to love and be loved unconditionally.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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6 Mistakes You Make That Land You In The Friend Zone

The Friend Zone is a place we all have dreaded to visit. But you could accidentally land up just there.

You try to play it cool on the first few dates because you don’t want to be deemed “needy”, “high maintenance”, “aggressive”, or “desperate”.

You make a point at highlighting your common interests. You both like football, you both like the art fair on Sundays, you are both foodies so you stay on that common ground of topics because they are safe and surface and fun and easy to talk about.

At the end of the date, you go “dutch”, hug, say goodbye, and you feel like you had a pretty great date. And it was a great time…for friends.

Where is the romance? What happened to the wooing?

Beware: you very well could be on the brink of falling into the friend zone!

Knowing how to get out of the friend zone is all about setting the precedent from the onset.

Here are the 6 mistakes, each of which could land you in the friend zone:

1. You went “Dutch”.

Do you want a friend, a colleague, a business partner or do you want a relationship partner?

He is paying for dinner. Paying = providing (masculine). Cooking/gifting = nurturing (feminine). We will go more into this (plus alternative ways that the woman can “pay”) in a future article.

2. You talk about fun and surface topics.

If you eventually want the clothes to come off, you’ve got to dig beyond the exterior by being real and getting raw. That’s how you stand out and create a heart connection.

3. You forgot to flirt!

It’s about the little things — the side glance, the “secret smile”, the little touches, and the flirtatious and slightly (but not overtly) sexy comments.

4. You act like a buddy.

Hanging out at sports bars, not putting effort into how you look, going dutch; these are all symptoms of friendships. It’s OK to share the same interests.

Women, it’s OK if you are a huge sports fan. But remember that you are looking for a boyfriend, not a buddy. You can still be sexy and cheer on your favorite team.

5. You think you’re being sarcastic, but you’re actually being a bitch or a jerk.

I know you want to be witty and always have a comeback, and I agree! That banter can be extremely sexy and can be a great technique when it comes to flirting.

But there is a difference between sarcastic and being bitchy or a jerk, and it’s too often confused. Take the edge off. Imagine that they said to you what you said to them.

How does it sound?

6. You’re easy going…too easy going.

You don’t require dates. You just kind of “hang out”. You’re missing the chase and moving right into what you consider to be “relationship mode”. But you’re wrong. You’ve been friend zoned.

Honestly, a lot of it is about gender roles. Be feminine. Be masculine. Be in your gender power!

The more feminine you are, the more masculine he feels. The more masculine you are, the more feminine she feels.

Stop being androgynous. I know. it’s a modern world. But you have more power in your gender role than you ever allowed yourself to embrace.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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11 Psychological Tricks That Make Him Want You so Much More

Sometimes you just need a little strategy …

I honestly believe that love is something that can be cultivated … to a point.

There has to be a spark of interest there at first, but how deep someone falls in love with you will often be a result of the effort you both put forth to make that feeling happen.

Though you can never force a person to like you (and should never try, even if you could), there are definitely some psychology-based dating tips and methods that can help you learn how to get a guy to like you — and make people think of you more highly in general.

These psychological “mind tricks” are even backed by science.

If you’re trying to get his attention but aren’t exactly sure how to get a guy to like you, give these psychology-based dating tips and tricks a spin.

1. Ask him for favors.

Studies have shown that people tend to like people who they do favors for, even if they initially hated them.

This is because we subconsciously make ourselves believe that the person would do the same for us as we did for them.

This reverse psychology phenomenon is known as the Ben Franklin Effect, since the Founding Father himself was the one who discovered this strange trick. As he wrote in his autobiography: “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”

2. Compliment him … just not all the time.

Most guys don’t get complimented frequently, so when they do hear a compliment, they tend to eat it up.

The only problem is that compliments lose their significance if you hear them all the time.

By spacing out compliments to a max of once per day, it keeps him on his toes.

3. Prolong your eye contact just a little bit longer.

It’s true. Studies have found that prolonged eye contact increases the likelihood that two people will fall in love.

The man behind the groundbreaking research on this subject, social psychologist Arthur Aron, says, “the two biggest factors to falling in love through eye contact are i) the other person is reasonably appropriate and desirable, and ii) there is reason to think they might be interested in you.”

4. Use his name.

The names we’re given are music to our ears.

Hearing your name being said by someone is an ego boost, albeit a small one.

Studies have shown that hearing your own name has a unique effect on brain activation, as our “brains involuntarily respond to the sound of our own names, even in a state in which we are unable to respond to or act on anything else. What could be more powerful than that?!”

5. Mirror his gestures.

One of the most common ways that people show a connection to someone is to subtly copy their gestures.

This is actually done on a subconscious level when it’s a seriously natural jive.

Psychologists have noticed that you can actually create a closer bond by mirroring someone, even if those gestures are done totally consciously.

Who knew?

6. Don’t be afraid to show him your flaws.

A lot of women tend to want to hide their flaws and look “perfect” as a way to attract men.

Though you definitely don’t have to show all your flaws immediately, showing him that you occasionally goof up makes you human to him… and it also shows him that you’re not a fake.

7. Expect good things from him.

Among psychologists, this is known as the Pygmalion Effect and it says that we tend to mold to the expectations that people set for us.

If you think he’s a jerk, then you’ll behave in a way that will encourage him to be a jerk, even if it’s on a subconscious level.

So, expect him to be good to you and he will be better to you than if you expected him to be a twerp.

8. Let him talk about himself.

People love to talk about themselves.

We are our own favorite subjects, even if we aren’t narcissists by nature.

By asking him questions about himself, what he does for a living, and getting him to open up, you’re getting him to like you more by indulging him in his favorite topic of conversation.

9. Have a life outside of him.

You know who loves having a woman who has her man as the center of her universe?

Abusers and people who are way too insecure to have a healthy relationship.

By showing him that you’re balanced and not desperate, you’re giving him the green light to pursue you without worrying of you becoming a Stage 5 Clinger.

10. Show that you have similar values, hobbies, and traits to him.

Studies show that we tend to fall in love (or associate) with people when we share similar values and backgrounds as them, a phenomenon known as Similar/Attraction Theory.

So, if he’s a rebel, show your rebellious side.

If he’s a family guy, talk about how important your parents are to you.

11. Be ready to walk if he still doesn’t reciprocate.

Nothing is as sexy as a girl who values herself enough to stop chasing a man.

Be ready to walk if he doesn’t reciprocate feelings.

You never know; he might come around.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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Lorelei – Happy 24th Birthday!

Lorelei,

I love the originality of you..

Your willingness

To stand out from the crowd.

Your unique Perspective

On what’s happening in your world

 

I love the wisdom of you…

The way you trust your intuition…

Your unfailing commitment

To doing the right thing

 

And most of all,

I love your heart…

The genuine compassion, empathy,

And friendship you offer,

To everyone you know

 

You have made me a better person,

And I’m grateful everyday you’re in my life.

 

I love you,

 

Dad

 

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=kat+wiedenmann

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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10 Shocking Things Guys Wish Girls Knew

You’ve probably heard it before—boys love to complain about how confusing girls can be. But us girls know firsthand that understanding guys can be just as complicated. In hopes of helping girls better understand the guy’s point of view, we surveyed 150 guys about a way-worthy topic: you! What do guys wish you knew?

Here’s one from one of my female readers I thought was worth sharing…

1. Texting does not mean what you think it means.

“Please, tell me why a girl thinks texting or snapping her equals I want her to be my girlfriend,” says Mikey. Blunt, but we like blunt. Mikey is in the majority when it comes to flirting. Nearly every guy we talked to says when he texts, he’s really just trying to get you know you better. A text is just a text, not a confession of love. “It’s like texting a girl means I’m admitting I like her, but that’s not what’s up,” explains Mikey. “It’s more like I’m texting because I might like her. I hate it because the next day the girl acts like she owns me. Or, if she’s shy, suddenly she can barely talk to me because she’s scared. It’s stupid.”

Basically, a text or a snap from a guy isn’t some hidden signal to decode. “I’m just texting because you’re cute or nice or whatever,” says Jordan. “If you treat me like I’m a dog just because I think you’re cool enough to text, that’s not cool.” In other words, exchanging texts with a guy isn’t a reason to change your behavior. Just be yourself, take it slow and feel out the situation. Sure, a text could lead to something more, but for now, it’s just a text, so there’s no need to stress or DTR right away. And if you’re feeling nervous? Keep your cool. Texting your crush can be just as easy as talking to your BFF.

2. You don’t need makeup to impress guys.

Judging from our survey, boys just don’t get makeup. In fact, a lot of guys even complain about it. Sure, they all like pretty girls, but they also have a problem with a face that looks full-on painted.

“Why do girls think they need to have so much crap on their faces?” asks Billy. “Girls at my school wear all this black crap on their eyes, and their lips are, like, thick with brown goop. It’s ugly. Do they really think that will get them a guy?”

Don’t worry, we set Billy straight about one thing: Girls don’t apply makeup to “get them a guy.” We wear makeup because we like it, full stop.

Still, guys’ hatred for cosmetics is no joke. But remember, boys are not the authority on fashion and beauty. You may be a girl who prefers to go au naturel every day, or you may love using every shade of eyeshadow in your Naked palette on any given Tuesday at school. Either way, you do you, girl! Sure, it’s good to know that you don’t need to put in a ton of effort every morning to impress someone, but it’s your choice if you want to apply enough purple mascara to impair your vision. Go for it.

3. A lot of times, guys’ are at a loss with girls’ emotions.

“What is up with girls hopping up and down when they’re happy about something?” asks Pete. “I really do want to know why are girls so excited about normal stuff,” says Pete. “Every other thing, it’s like, ‘Ohmigosh! No way!’” Clearly Pete just doesn’t get that a new season of your favorite show or the return of the PSL are pretty much the best things since sliced bread. But really, what Pete’s saying is something a lot of surveyed guys struggled with: unpacking how girls are feeling, and why.

Colin, a self-described shy boy, has an interesting theory: “I think girls like attention, and being excited about something makes people look and wonder what she’s so happy about.” Hmm…While Colin the amateur psychologist has certainly thought a lot about the topic, we’re not sure he’s cracked the case yet.

Arnie, a jokester, has a theory of his own: “I think girls are just different. You’re raised to let your feelings out, even if they’re bad. I’ve never seen a guy friend cry, but I’ve seen a chick fall apart because some dude she liked didn’t pick her for his volleyball team in phys ed.” Arnie may be onto something. It’s true that because girls are viewed as more emotional, our emotions are seen as more acceptable to express in public, while phrases like, “Man up!” tell boys to keep their feelings, whether it’s sadness or excitement, hidden away.

Here’s the deal: boys are just as emotional as girls, but a lot of times, they don’t show it. That may explain why our guys are so confused about girls’ displays of emotions. Hang in there girl, and remember, there are some things guys just don’t get.

4. Gossiping and being mean to others makes *you* look bad.

“Girls are always passing notes around or texting each other in class, and it’s just so friggin’ dumb,” says Joey. “Or they’ll look right at me, then whisper to each other and laugh. Do they want me to think they’re talking about me? ’Cause I do. And if it’s really true and they are talking about me, then that’s just lame.”

Rude is the word, actually, Joey. Whispering and gossip can seem pretty immature, especially when you’re spreading rumors or being mean to another girl. “When I hear one girl talk trash about another girl, it’s like I can’t believe it,” says Dominick, “like I’m in a bad movie about how mean girls are. If I heard my friends were talking about me like that, I’d transfer schools.”

So don’t trash talk or put down other girls to seem cool. Guys certainly aren’t impressed, but more importantly, you don’t want to hurt others. Sure, people talk about other people. That’s life. But there is a big difference between gossip and character assassinations. You wouldn’t like it if the gossip was about you. It’s bad form to let anyone believe you’re saying negative things about him. If you absolutely must exchange information, be discreet. Oh, and be sure that the “information” isn’t going to hurt someone’s feelings, OK?

5. Boys worry about what you think of their hair, skin, weight and clothes.

“My best friend is a girl, and the other day she said my hair looks exactly the same every single day,” says Luis. “I couldn’t believe it because some days my hair is jacked up.”

Guys may not talk about their insecurities to girls, but they totally think about their appearance even if they don’t say it out loud. “I had to ask my mom to take me to the dermatologist because I was breaking out on my cheeks and back,” says Jay. “I couldn’t stand it.”

His friend Robert has a different issue: “Girls like guys with good bodies but, when I try to get six-pack abs, it never works. I just feel like I have a spare tire all the time.”

If you could get a view of Robert, you would tell him what we told him: He’s out of his mind—the boy is a total babe! But here he is worrying about looking like a model. Moral of the story? Boys have body image issues, too. Isn’t it a relief to know that?

6. PMS is no excuse to be mean.

“I know girls get weird when they’re on their period, but I don’t get why they have to act like I’m their worst enemy,” confides Sean. “Sometimes, my sister acts like she wishes I were dead because I won’t give her the remote control, but all that’s going on is she’s PMSing. Screaming at me and freaking out on me isn’t right.”

We know what you’re thinking: Boys just don’t understand what it feels like to wake up with serious cramps, bloating, breakouts and headaches. So, yeah, we feel your pain—and we really mean feel it. But that’s the point: Boys don’t.

Let’s face it—the hormones that come with menstruation affect moods and being cranky around your time of the month is beyond understandable. But that doesn’t mean you should take our your pain on anyone, much less a guy who doesn’t get it. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself. Just deal the best you can by taking care of yourself. Avoid things that aggravate physical and emotional symptoms like caffeine, sugar and greasy foods. Ever wondered what your cravings mean? We’ve got all the answers. But seriously, get plenty of sleep, drink loads of water, get some exercise and take lots of warm baths—yes, even in the afternoon when you get home from school. Soaking in bubbles while daydreaming is a girl’s best friend.

We’re not saying you should become a recluse just because you’re wearing a maxi-pad. But don’t feel bad for bowing out of a social opp if you’re really not up to it. What’s the point of going to a party if you’re not gonna have a good time? Oh, and if you do snap at your boy for no other reason than those nasty hormonal intrusions, a short, simple apology (“Sorry—I was in a bad state of mind yesterday”) could go a long way. No lengthy, drawn-out explanations necessary.

7. Guys care way less about your body than you think.

“If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s when a girl asks me if she looks fat,” says Stephen. “I don’t know if you’re fat.” And a lot of the boys echo his sentiment. The truth is, you’re a way harsher critic of yourself than a guy will ever be. Guys can’t tell slight differences between sizes, and honestly, they don’t really care.

All guys have different tastes when it comes to the feminine physique. Some guys like booties. Other guys like their girls thin as a fence post. Who cares? You are what you are. Worry more about your own health and happiness and less of guys’ opinions on your looks. Need some self-image pick-me-ups?

Whether you’re questioning a guy friend for his honest opinion or fishing for a compliment from a guy you like, asking about your body is usually a no-win situation. You’re just putting the guy on the spot. And, guess what—if a boy likes you, he likes you for the way you are right now, this second. A shy boy named Paul says it awesome: “Girls’ bodies are an endless mystery to me. I think you’re all beautiful.”

8. Don’t feel pressure to wear revealing or tight clothes just for guys’ attention.

“I think girls get mixed up because of how how people dress on TV,” says Matthew.

Matthew’s not wrong, fashion on TV is all about skimpy looks and attention-grabbers. But remember, the fashion you see on TV are really just costumes designed for performing. The point is, girls should wear what they feel comfortable in, not what TV or movies tells them to wear and definitely not what they think guys are looking for. If you’re still wondering what guys look for in a wardrobe, the truth is, it depends.

“I like the way my last girlfriend dressed,” says Miguel. “She wore some stuff that showed off her great athletic body, but it wasn’t like all hanging out. Sometimes she wore baggy pants and just a little of her belly showed. Or sometimes, if she wore those tight jeans girls always wear, she wouldn’t have her boobs all out.”

In other words, for a lot of guys, less is more. You don’t have to look like a pop star or a character from Riverdale, you just need to wear clothes that make you comfy and happy. And if you’re feeling yourself, the right guy will too!

It’s good to know that guys aren’t looking for runway models, but some guys just don’t get fashion altogether. I mean, you wouldn’t let your brother pick out your outfit, would you? So who needs them to tell you what to wear?

“My sister complains that boys always stare at her boobs, but she wears tight shirts that totally show off her boobs,” says Chad. “I’m confused.”

Ugh, Chad, girls’ fashion choices aren’t an invitation to stare. The truth is, a lot of guys are not fashion experts, and they won’t be impressed just because your outfit shows a ton of skin. Bottom line? You do you girl, and the rest will fall into place.

9. Most boys are looking for the right girl.

Daniel puts it so eloquently: “I would love to find a girl who’s cool.” Being “cool” does seem pretty vague, but our guess is that Daniel is looking for a girl who can be herself around him.

Whatever he means, Daniel is not the only boy looking for a girl to like! Don’t believe it? “I’m sick of everyone acting like boys aren’t as mature as girls,” says D.B. “It’s just that we also think about other stuff. If it happens, it happens, but I’m not going to talk to my friends on the phone about girls every day.” So even if a guy plays it cool about girls, it doesn’t mean he’s not interested. The truth is, a lot of guys are just as interested in finding the right person as girls.

That doesn’t mean all guys are as mature as D.B. His friend Raymond, for example, gives another, ummm, interesting perspective. “So many girls at my school are hot, but me and my friends just wait for them to figure out who they want because that’s what girls seem to do at my school. It’s like they’re all spazzed out about finding a boyfriend all the time. We just have to wait and see.” Hmm…Seems like Ray might not be ready for a relationship.

A lot of surveyed boys agree with Ray on one count, though: some girls may put too much emphasis on finding a boyfriend. As Eric says, “Do girls want any guy or the right guy?” Sending signals to the guy you like is different from going full boy-crazy. Do you and your squad constantly discuss guys? If so, maybe scale it back a bit, and not just because of what boys think. Remember, you have so much more interesting things to explore than “who-likes-who,” as fun as that can be sometimes. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt to show guys (like Ray) what’s really on girls’ minds.

10. If you like him, just tell him.

There was one major statement that kept popping up on our surveys: “Girls should not flirt and act like they like me, and then later ignore me.” Maybe the flirting thing is to girls what the phone is to boys: You’re just flirting to feel him out, and it doesn’t mean you want a relationship. We get that.

Sadly, guys are obviously confused, and sometimes take your friendliness as flirting. Can we trust guys to know the difference? “There is a big difference between just being cool and flirting,” says James. “I can tell if a girl is just talking to me or if she likes me.” A lot of surveyed guys aren’t as confident as James. You may be feeling confused if he likes you, and chances are, he’s in the exact same boat.

So what do you do when you want to make friends with a boy, but you’re worried that striking up a random convo could be misinterpreted as major flirting? Just be honest. “If you like me, just tell me. If you don’t, say you’re not into me like that,” says Ray. It may seem tough to tell a guy you’re just not into him like that, but in the long run, he’ll appreciate knowing the truth instead of feeling led on.

OK, just telling a guy you like him isn’t as easy as it sounds. But all the guys agreed on this one, which means it should work. Courage to be honest? You can do it. Plus, telling your crush how you feel can be a major confidence booster. You can offically consider yourself fearless.

What do you think girls? What surprised you the most about what guys think? Let us know in the comments!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

27 Things Guys Said That Totally Turned Us Off

Here’s an awesome list sent to me by one of my female readers.

Thank you! Take it away, Sasha.

Guess who I’m not hopping into to bed with? The guy who just moments ago confessed that his dream in life is to “live in a yurt.” No offense to his dream, but my dream is never to go camping, never to interface with wild animals, and never go without running water or poop in a hole unless emergency dictates it. Just moments earlier, I was digging this fellow and now all I can see when I look at him is a vision of what he will look after a few years in his yurt — a little bit like Tom Hanks in “Castaway.” “No thanks,” says my vagina. After the jump, some things that guys have said to us that killed our attraction to them in two seconds flat.

  1. “I don’t need anyone as long as I have my cat.” Well let me just pack up my things and go.
  2. “It’s a woman’s job to change diapers.” Yes. It. Is. Check please!
  3. “I borrowed money from my cousin to take you out to dinner.” How, um, sweet (?) of you.
  4. “Let me shave you.” Let me run screaming from your apartment.
  5. “I live with my mom, and she eats all of my ice cream.” I can’t wait to have a slumber party at your place!
  6. “My last girlfriend and I went to sex therapy because I can’t orgasm.” I look forward to learning more about your sexual dysfunction.
  7. “I have no faith in humanity.” Misanthropy isn’t exactly an aphrodisiac.
  8. “Jesus Christ was a loser.” I don’t care what religious beliefs you subscribe to, there’s no reason to knock JC.
  9. “I want to write a book for young people about how to live.” The world thanks you, oh humble guru.
  10. “Who’s your daddy?” Not you, dude.
  11. “You mean you actually wear a bikini at the beach?” No, I wear a wetsuit so not an inch of my skin sees sunlight.
  12. “I believe in the power of touch.” And I believe in the power of never touching you.
  13. “Lesbians always hate me and I don’t know why.” I do, you’re a homophobe!
  14. “I’m really good at getting women pregnant.” This is a selling point? Exactly how many spawns do you have out there floating around?
  15. “You want to have kids even though there are crazy people in your family?” Not with you, you judge-y bastard.
  16. “I’m really glad you’re not one of those man-hating feminists.” You might have just turned me into one.
  17. “I’m really in touch with my feminine side.” Gold star for you, lady boy.
  18. “You really touch my heart chakra.” Is this some New Age way of saying, “I love you”?
  19. “My mother sells herbal weight loss supplements, if you’d like to lose a few.” Thanks so much for the tip, but I’m all stocked up on Xenadrine. What’s good enough for Ronnie from “Jersey Shore” is good enough for me.
  20. “I’ve got to go to my mani/pedi appointment.” Shall I fetch you some rag mags to look at while you’re getting primped and pampered?
  21. “I think you’re beautiful. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t hang out with you.” That is awfully kind of you.
  22. “I can’t go that restaurant, my ex works there and she has a restraining order against me.” Oh yeah … sure no problem. Let’s take a raincheck on dinner. Like forever.
  23. “I’ll let you be my official girlfriend.” How many women are your unofficial girlfriends?
  24. “I’m attaching a new crystal to my scepter.” Gotta love a man who keeps his magic wand all blinged out.
  25. “Check out my new Storm Trooper costume for Comic Con.” Nope.
  26. “I can’t sleep with you in my bed.” Well then, I will kindly get out of it and let you get your beauty rest.
  27. “If I was capable of loving someone, it would be you. But I’m not. So I don’t.” Nothing more charming than an emotionally bankrupt man.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Tales of Rock: 20 Young, Beautiful, And Successful Daughters Of Rockstars

Bono’s daughter Eve Hewson admits she “can’t sing a note.” 
Vivien Killilea/Getty

Some of the sweetest rock ballads were inspired by daddy’s girls: Billy Joel’s “Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel),” Bruce Springsteen’s “When You Need Me,” Phil Collins’ “You’ll Be In My Heart,” and other emotional tracks you’d find on a father-daughter dance compilation album.Even Bono — who came under fire recently when Apple installed the new U2 album on iTunes users’ devices without asking — covered Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” at his daughter Eve’s 21st birthday party.

From models and DJs to actors and musicians, meet the new crop of muses of the most celebrated rock stars.

Alexa Ray Joel, 28, is the singer-daughter of Billy Joel.

alexa ray joel billy

Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

Alexa Ray released an EP, “Sketches,” in 2006 and was the face of Prell hair care, which previously employed her supermodel mother, Christie Brinkley, as its spokeswoman. Earlier this year, after her first sold-out performance at the Carlyle in New York, rumors swirled that Alexa Ray had undergone plastic surgery (again).

Jemima Kirke, 29, and Lola Kirke, 23, are the actress-daughters of Free and Bad Company’s Simon Kirke.

jemima kirke lola kirke

Getty

British-born Jemima was an artist before close friend Lena Dunham persuaded her to audition for the role of free-spirit Jessa in HBO’s “Girls.” She is the older sister of Lola, who is having a breakout moment of her own after landing a New York Times profile and a small role in “Gone Girl.”

Jessica Rae Springsteen, 22, is the horseback-riding daughter of Bruce Springsteen.

jessica rae springsteen bruce

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Jessica Rae is a senior at Duke University and a champion horseback rider, placing first in her jumping division at the 2013 FTI Consulting Winter Equestrian Festival. Two years ago, she just narrowly missed out on joining the USA Olympic team.

Georgia May Jagger, 22, is the model daughter of The Rolling Stones’ Mick Jagger.

georgia may jagger

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Georgia May flashed her father’s famous toothy grin as a brand ambassador for Rimmel London and Sunglass Hut and in the pages of international “Vogue.” She recently revealed in an interview with the British magazine Grazia that her model-mother, Jerry Hall, after a couple glasses of wine, would teach her children how to work the catwalk.

Lily Collins, 25, is the actress-daughter of Phil Collins.

lily phil collins mirror mirror

Todd Williamson/Getty Images

This red-lipped beauty splashed onto the big screen as Snow White in “Mirror Mirror” and in “The Blind Side.” Her father composed “You’ll Be In My Heart” on the “Tarzan” soundtrack just for his little girl.

Zoë Kravitz, 25, is the actress-daughter of Lenny Kravitz.

zoe lenny kravitz

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Zoë appeared in “After Earth” and “X Men: First Class.” Last year, she added Swarovski jewelry designer to her résumé, and she will appear in the star-studded “Mad Max: Fury Road” reboot next year.

Eve Hewson, 23, is the actress-daughter of U2’s Bono.

eve hewson bono

Vivien Killilea/Getty

This Dubliner currently stars in the TV show “The Knick,” a period drama set in a turn-of-the-century New York City hospital. You won’t hear her singing anytime soon though; she told the Toronto Sun in an interview that she “can’t hit a note.”

Daisy Lowe, 25, is the model-daughter of Bush’s Gavin Rossdale.

daisy lowe

John Phillips/Getty

London socialite and model Daisy is the product of a one-night stand between Pearl Lowe and Gwen Stefani’s husband, Rossdale, who didn’t know he was Daisy’s father until she was 14.

Chelsea Tyler, 24, is the daughter of Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler.

chelsea steven tyler

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

Chelsea sports her dad’s lippy pout in modeling campaigns for Andy Hilfiger and Alice + Olivia, and formed a bluesy band badbad, with her newly minted fiance Jon Foster in 2011.

Kat Wiedenmann, 24 is the singer, composer and producer – Daughter of Union Jacks guitarist, Chaz.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=kat+wiedenmann

Kelly Osbourne, 29, is the TV personality-daughter of Black Sabbath’s Ozzy Osbourne.

kelly osbourne ozzy

Frazer Harrison/Getty

Kelly prosecutes the worst-dressed as a co-host on E!’s “Fashion Police” and recently launched her debut clothing line Chapter One. She and her family starred in MTV’s reality show “The Osbournes” from 2002 to 2005.

Coco Sumner, 24, is the singer-daughter of The Police’s Sting.

coco sumner sting i blame coco

Francois Durand/Getty Images

Eliot Paulina Sumner, who goes by her stage name “Coco,” is the lead singer of the indie-rock band I Blame Coco. After touring the UK with La Roux, Coco retreated from the spotlight to work on her sophomore album.

Riley Keough, 24, is the model-actress granddaughter of Elvis Presley and daughter of Lisa Marie Presley.

riley keough lisa marie presley

Katy Winn/AP

She appeared in the male stripper film “Magic Mike” as the cotton-candy-haired drug addict with a pet teacup pig. Next up, she appears in the star-studded film “Yellow” and the “Mad Max” reboot alongside Mel Gibson, Charlize Theron, and Tom Hardy. Get to know more about her famous history here.

Erin Lucas, 29, is the model daughter of AC/DC’s Cliff Williams.

Erin appeared in MTV’s “Hills” reality spinoff “The City,” posed for “Maxim,” and owns a dog from the same litter as friend Miley Cyrus‘ pooch.

Lara Johnston, 23, is the singer daughter of The Doobie Brothers’ Tom Johnston.

Lara was a competitor on MTV’s “Rock the Cradle,” a singing competition for rock star offspring, and made her first public performance at the age of 2, singing dad’s “Listen to the Music.”

Amber Le Bon, 25, is the model-daughter of Duran Duran’s Simon Le Bon.

amber simon le bon 2

Luke MacGregor/Reuters

After starring in Forever 21 fashion campaigns, Amber began dividing her time between the runway and DJ booth. She spins for exclusive fashion parties and product launches.

Frances Bean Cobain, 22, is the daughter of Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain.

Frances Bean Cobain inherited her wild streak from parents Cobain and Courtney Love: slamming Kendall Kardashian on Twitter, hosting a suicide-themed 16th birthday party, and creating provocative and crude art.

Sophie Simmons, 22, is the model-daughter of Kiss’ Gene Simmons.

sophie gene simmons

Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

Sophie starred in the A&E reality show centered on her family, “Gene Simmons Family Jewels.” The aspiring singer recently modeled in her underwear for Galore magazine, sans make-up and sans retouching.

Theodora, 29, and Alexandra Richards, 28, are the model-daughters of the Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards.

alexandra theodora richards keith

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

Alexandra DJs at tons of lavish fashion and press events, while her older sis, Theodora, has modeled on many magazine covers, for Tommy Hilfiger and other high-fashion brands.

Minka Kelly, 34, is the actress-daughter of Aerosmith’s Rick Dufay.

minka kelly

Robin Marchant/Getty

Minka starred in ABC’s short-lived “Charlie’s Angels” reboot, and she won over hearts in recurring roles on “Friday Night Lights,” “Parenthood,” and “Almost Human.”

For the record, Rick Dufay played on one Aerosmith album, Rock In A Hard Place.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

What Makes a Man Attractive? 15 Traits Guys Should Focus On

What makes a man attractive may be the million-dollar question, but it’s not that hard to answer. It could be you just need to shift your focus a little.

Many men write to me, asking me about what makes a man attractive to a woman. Now, it’s a pretty broad question to ask. Every woman is different. Some like their guys with a sense of humor, other women like their men shy.

Before we proceed, it’s important to know that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. That being said, there are general traits which a majority of women look for when trying to find a suitable partner. And these traits have nothing to do with you looking like Ryan Gosling or a million dollar pay check every month.

What makes a man attractive?

In my own experience, what I found attractive in men was basic. I wanted a talkative partner with a good sense of humor and who is calmer than me. I’m usually wired like an Energizer bunny, and if my partner was the same, we’d be in big trouble. But this doesn’t mean my best friend or the girl down the street wants the same thing.

No one said finding a partner was going to be easy, especially because everyone wants different things. But alas, here we are, and there are some traits that most women can all agree are desirable. So, if you want to know what makes a man attractive, keep reading. It’s time to find out!

#1 Your face isn’t the ticket. Yes, women would love to have a chance with Ryan Gosling or Chris Evans, but in reality, women aren’t that interested if you’re better looking or not. Women usually opt for more attractive men for flings. However, when it comes to serious relationships, they’re not interested in finding the hottest guy in town.

#2 Women want to laugh. At the end of the day, we want a partner who’s going to make us laugh. A sense of humor is extremely important, and it should be a must-have trait on your list as well. Can you imagine being with someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Men who are found to have a good sense of humor appear more intelligent.

#3 It’s all about kindness. Though the bad boy may look appealing, they’re not long-term partner material. Instead, when women want to settle down, they look for altruistic men who are interested in helping others and doing good things.

#4 Hygiene. So, appearance does matter, but probably not to the extent you’re thinking. You don’t need to wear the latest brand names or have an expensive watch to seem attractive. But, women are looking for men who are well-groomed and hygienic. No one wants to date a stinky man. Taking care of yourself on a basic level is attractive to women.

#5 Beard or no beard? Many men wonder if having a beard affects their interactions with women. Well, having a beard or no beard is largely based on personal preference. So, facial hair can make you attractive, but it can also act as a repellent. Choose what you like when it comes to facial hair.

#6 Confidence. When it comes to attractive men and women, they’re usually the ones exuding confidence. No matter what you look like, confidence is the key. It’s sexy, there’s no denying it. This has nothing to do with looks, rather purely on how you carry yourself in front of others. Stand up tall, shoulders back, and own yourself.

#7 Manners. I remember watching my date burp in my face over dinner. Needless to say, that was the last time I saw him. Manners are extremely important because it shows her what kind of person you are and how you were raised. These are things women pay attention to when on the dating scene.

#8 Active listening. Men are often teased about their poor listening skills. But, if you’re wondering what makes a man attractive, this is one trait that women are looking for in a partner. They want a man who’ll actively listen and provide input when needed. An attractive man is someone she can talk to and doesn’t feel like she’s communicating with a wall.

#9 Feeling of security. Women want to feel safe. I’m pretty sure everyone wants to feel safe around their partner. This is something to prove to a potential partner. Does this mean you look like the hulk? No. This isn’t about muscle mass. It’s about giving her the feeling that you can protect her. That’s attractive.

#10 Responsibility. So many people are scared to admit when they made a mistake. They are unable to apologize if they did something wrong. But apologizing and taking responsibility for your actions doesn’t mean you’re weak. A man who can take responsibility for himself is highly attractive for a woman. It shows maturity and personal growth.

#11 Connected to his feminine side. Many men are terrified of connecting with their feminine side, but this is what women are looking for in a man. They want a partner who’s well-rounded, empathetic, and kind. Sure, we like the idea of being with “a man,” but you can’t be alpha all the time. It’s exhausting. 

#12 Independence. No woman wants a mama’s boy. Yet, so many men are unable to cook and clean for themselves. A man who lives independently is an important trait women look for in a man. And it’s pretty hot to come home to dinner. A woman is looking for a partner, not a fully grown child.

#13 Knows how to have fun. Women want a guy who’s not always so serious. He knows when to separate work from play, and when he does relax, he enjoys his time and knows how to have fun. Being serious can be sexy, but only up to a point. Women want to enjoy their life with someone who knows how to.

#14 He has brains. Who doesn’t want an intelligent partner? When it comes to brains, intelligent men are sexy. A woman wants to know she’ll have a partner by her side, not someone she carries through life. A man who’s well-read and educated is really sexy.

#15 Appreciates women. No, I’m not talking about a Casanova type of guy. But an attractive man is someone who appreciates and respects women. Have you ever seen a man with mommy issues? It’s not attractive, and if anything, women stay far away from those guys.

You don’t need to look like Ryan Reynolds or Brad Pitt to be considered attractive. Most of what makes a man attractive to women has to do with your characteristics and your game.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Signs A Girl Wants You To Make A Move

When I was in high school, I went to the movies with a girl who clearly liked me, but I was clueless and hesitant. After giving me all sorts of hints in the dark theater, I still wouldn’t make a move.

Afterwards she was frustrated and told me that we should just be friends. I look back on that story and cringe, but, like many guys, I didn’t know the signs a girl wants you to make a move. You can learn from my mistake!

Even though we live in the age of independent women, guys are still expected to make the first move. So, typically she’s going to drop the hints and you’re going to have to make the first move.

However, you don’t have to be clueless like me. While there aren’t crystal clear guidelines, there will be strong signs a girl wants you to make a move. If you get the vibe, then by all means, make your move.

Body Language Signs

Women can be difficult to understand partly because they can play hard to get or want you to prove that you’re interested. So, she might be giving you mixed signals with her words. This is where body language can be helpful.

Body language is done mostly subconsciously so she might be testing you with her words, while her body tells the tale of attraction.

Open and Engaging

The first step of seeing if she likes you is to look at her behavior when she’s around you. If she’s open, as in open arms, uncrossed legs, and relaxed, then she’s clearly comfortable with you.

Look for a high level of open and engaging body language, like leaning in, making eye contact, and not slouching when you’re talking to her.

Pointing

When a girl likes you, she will orient her body towards you, a phenomenon called “pointing.” Typically girls will point with their navels, their legs, and their feet in this situation. Both men and women will point towards people they find attractive.

Pay attention to pointing when you’re in a large group. If she is pointing her hips and/or legs in your direction, even while engaging everyone else, then her subconscious body language is gravitating towards you.

Touching and Proximity

couple holding hands in a fieldIf she gets close to you a lot and touches you, that’s a major sign the girl wants you to make a move. Keep in mind the touching will be more subtle.

Does she touch your arm? Does she massage your shoulders for a few seconds? If you’re showing her something on your phone, does she lean in closely, getting almost inappropriately close?

These are all subtle, but clear indicators that she is interested in you in some capacity. If she comes out and kisses you then you don’t even need to make a move! She did it for you.

Remember something about body language, though. It often indicates comfort and liking which isn’t always romantic. You’ll have to make sure other signs line up before assuming she’s into you sexually.

Gives You Permission

When I was talking to the girl I took to the movies, she told me how a friend of hers wanted her to model for him. He joked that he wouldn’t mind her doing some clothes-free photos. She laughed it off, but told me she’d happily let me take those photos of her.

Yes, I was a total idiot. Even with that gigantic sign that she liked me, I still held back from making a move, second guessing myself!

You’re probably laughing at my cluelessness. But, you know that in the moment, it’s easy to doubt, overthink, and second guess yourself. Knowing the signs a girl wants you to make a move isn’t always easy in the moment.

If she drops hints that she could see herself doing something romantic and sexual with you, that’s a huge sign she wants you to actually do it. Yes, she’s basically giving you permission to make a move on her.

Flirting

Flirting is the silent language of sexual attraction. On a basic level, flirting is joking around and having fun with someone you find attractive. Women will typically smile a lot, giggle, touch their hair, and touch you when they’re flirting.

If your conversations are fun and flirty with sexual tension, then it’s a good indicator she is attracted to you. Keep in mind, however, that some women flirt with almost anyone just for attention. So, if she does it with everyone, you might not be special.

Time And Attention

Whenever my clients ask me if a girl likes them, I always ask the level of attention she gives them. If it’s a lot, the signs are good she likes them. If they get her scraps and leftovers, then not so much. We pay attention to what we like. It’s that simple.

Of course, giving you attention could simply be a sign of friendship. However, if you’re getting her best time and attention, then it probably means she likes you more. This not only includes attention in real life, but also social media.

For example, when you text her does she text right back? When you ask her out does she say “yes” instantly? Is she always laughing at your jokes and taking interest in your activities and hobbies? If you’re getting that level of attention, she almost certainly likes you as more than a friend…and wants you to make some kind of move.

Compare Yourself To Her Guy Friends

If you’re looking for signs she wants you to make a move, compare yourself to her guy friends. Look at how she interacts with them vs. how she treats you.

If she treats you and them the same, then there’s little chance she finds you romantically attractive. But, if she treats you differently, interacting with you in a more sexual, flirtatious manner, then you can be pretty sure she is after you…and wants you to take it to the next level.

One good sign is also that her guy friends seem jealous about you. They are clearly picking up on her feelings towards you at that point. It’s further confirmation.

Making the Move: What to do?

couple kissing in snowIf you see the signs she wants you to make a move, read the situation carefully. If you barely know her, your “move” might just be to put your arm around her or grab her hand. From that point, you can escalate to more, like kissing or making out.

Just remember, that some women will want to move more slowly. So, if she lets you hold your hand, but rejects your kiss, don’t get upset. Go back to holding her hand and get to know her better. Maybe later in the evening or at another time, she’ll let you kiss her or do even more.

The key is to build comfort with her never try to push yourself on her. If you’re attractive, she trusts you, and she gives you the signs, then you can make your move comfortably and securely knowing that you both clearly want it. Above all, if she says “no” then you have to respect that.

So, don’t be a fool like I was in university. If you’re getting the signs she likes you, then make that move! You’ll both be happier for it. And, if she rejects you, then get better at reading the signs. There are other fish in the sea who will like you.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

9 Harsh Truths We Tend to Ignore at the Beginning of a Relationship, and Then Bitterly Regret It

They say that “love is blind” and they are probably right. We tend to ignore many things about our loved ones, even though these things scream that you need to get out of the relationship. As a consequence, we’re left trying to put a broken heart back together or we just get up one day realizing that we’ve wasted years in a pointless relationship.

This wouldn’t happen if we could tell from the very beginning where it might lead. And sometimes we can: here at Bright Side we came up with most common phrases your date could say to you that are actually signals that you should leave and never come back.

1. “I’m not over my previous relationship yet.”

It’s an honest truth, and you have to accept it and say goodbye — it’ll be better for the both of you. You probably don’t want to be an instrument for your date to forget their ex and constantly compete with them. And you will probably not be happy if they get back together.

Beyond that, it is not recommended for people to start a new relationship right after their previous one or until it’s all over, so it’s better to leave and give your partner some time to figure out their feelings.

2. They complain about all their exes.

Of course, people do get into toxic relationships sometimes, but if it happens all the time, maybe the problem actually has something to do with your date. You’ll probably end up being another “crazy ex” on their list and they will probably constantly stress you out. Do you need that in your life?

3. “I don’t think marriage makes sense.”

When someone says this, they definitely mean it and are implying that they are not going to get married, even to you. And since you’re grownups, this opinion is too hard to change, if even possible at all. If you think the same about marriage, than that’s okay. But it’s crucial to have similar opinions on this topic, so if you actually want to get married, then don’t waste your time.

4. “When I’m angry, I scream and break things. I can’t help it.”

This is a red flag phrase that should never be ignored. It means that your partner is emotionally unstable, and that plates aren’t the limit. You will get your dose of emotional and physical abuse too, even if you don’t think this will happen. Do yourself a favor and disappear the moment you hear (or notice) anything like that.

5. They admit that they could never make a relationship last.

You shouldn’t ignore this phrase, thinking it won’t happen with you. Don’t overestimate the chance you think you have to change your partner. If they say it, they mean it — and in addition, they can even say that they warned you. So if you’re looking for something that can become serious, you’re with the wrong person.

6. They don’t see anything wrong with being late.

When someone is late, they usually apologize for it, no matter how late they are. If your partner doesn’t see anything wrong with it, this is a bad sign. It means that they lack respect for your time, and there is a great probability that they will be selfish and have a tendency to devalue everything about other people. Take note, and find someone who will value you and your time.

7. They admit that relationships aren’t their main focus all the time.

Of course, for some people a career might be their biggest priority, and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, if your date says something like this on the spot without any context, it implies that your date wants to keep things easy. It’s a phrase to let you know that your partner isn’t going to put much effort into your relationship, so just take it as it is and decide if that’s what you want and need.

8. “A man/woman should…”

If your partner talks about their expectations, that means that they expect you to follow them in order to keep up the relationship. If you don’t share these standards, but decide to get into this relationship anyways, it will lead to a lot of stress and tension, so you’re probably better off ending it before it even starts.

9. “You don’t need someone like me.”

No, this not a challenge to prove that your date is wrong. People who are not confident always play the victim, and if you get into this game your whole relationship will turn into you constantly convincing your partner they are great and that they are worth you having to deal with infinite jealousy. In case it’s more like a confident, “Don’t fall in love with me,” you’re most likely dealing with a player. And we are not sure which one of these types is worse.

Sometimes it can also be a polite way to say that it’s your partner who doesn’t need anyone like you. Whatever the case may be, it’s just better to leave in order to not torture either of you.

Which phrases would you add to the list? Do you have your own personal red flag phrases? Let us know in the comments.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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