Breaking Up With Your Partner While Social Distancing Might Be Your Only Option

Adversity has a way of making or breaking relationships, highlighting problems, and pushing couples to their limits. Now, imagine adding the pressure of being unable to walk away from someone while your relationship is under duress, or taking the space you need to think through your conflict. If you’re considering breaking up with your partner while social distancing, isolation may have lead to the realization that you and your SO are not in it for the long-haul. And you’d rather end the relationship than spend one more second listening to each other chew, even if you’re currently stuck together.

Karla, 26, tells Bustle that social distancing took her relationship from casual to serious overnight, and it ended up being a dealbreaker. “Everything was great — we were going on day trips and playing board games and meeting each other’s friends,” she says. “Then, all of a sudden, coronavirus anxiety began, and we went from getting to know each other to date.”

After a couple days of cohabitation, I couldn’t stand him.

While self-isolating as a unit sounded like a good idea at first, Karla quickly realized she wasn’t ready for a live-in partner. Instead of enjoying their company, she felt overwhelmed and annoyed, craving privacy. “It was so much so fast,” she says, “and after a couple days of cohabitation, I couldn’t stand him.”

Eventually, she decided to call things off, and the two parted ways. “Had this not happened, we would’ve still been getting to know each other and having our distance while still enjoying each other’s company,” Karla says. “There’s a time and place for everything, and this just came far too soon for such a young relationship.”

Outside of a global pandemic, any number of drastic changes to your everyday routine has the potential to become a relationship stressor — starting a new job, moving to a new place, adjusting to a new schedule. When you’re already negotiating the chaos of an overwhelming shift in your day-to-day life, small problems can feel like big ones.

“As people #flattenthecurve, we may be forced to spend considerably more time with each other,” Danni Zhang, psychologist and managing director of New Vision Psychology, previously told Bustle. “It’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to start thinking of getting out of said relationship.” Zhang emphasizes the importance of weighing whether you’re experiencing a dead-end or weathering temporary stress.

“Coronavirus has run the gamut of emotions in our relationship over the last couple of weeks,” Danielle, 33, tells Bustle. She and her husband of five years made it halfway through the second week of social distancing together, before they needed to establish a few quarantine rules in order to keep the peace.

The two made an agreement that, at least once a week, they’d part ways and enjoy a little alone time — relaxing in separate rooms, going for solo walks, and cooking alone for a much-needed respite. “Communicating how we are feeling without judgment has also been very important,” Danielle says. “Even though we are together, having time and space of our own is necessary, and allows that time together to be more valued.”

For couples on edge, Zhang suggests listing out the reasons why you love your partner in order to shift attention away from their habits that have got you on edge. But not all couples feel the investment is worth digging in their heels. Once they got a glimpse into their future together, they were ready to jump ship — even if that only meant moving from the bedroom to the couch.

“I’m fairly certain living together too soon was what pushed us to break up,” Karla says.

 

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How To Keep Your Breakup From Making You Literally Sick

One from a female reader!

The first time I ever smoked a cigarette was the night my fiancé broke up with me over the phone. After he told me he didn’t love me anymore and that I could keep my engagement ring, I hung up, went into the kitchen, and grabbed a cigarette from an open pack that belonged to my dad. I didn’t think twice — I just needed to burn something.

The end of that relationship was so sudden and unexpected that I didn’t know how to process it. So, I smoked cigarettes and started drinking alcohol excessively. Hanging out in bars and getting wasted had never appealed to me, but I had just turned 21, so I figured, why not? For a few brief hours every Friday and Saturday night, three or four Long Island iced teas could help me forget how devastated I felt the rest of the week.

“Breakups are painful — literally,” says Rosie Shrout, a postdoctoral researcher at Ohio State University who studies the intersection between health and romantic relationships. “Just like any other stressful experience, breakups can cause a psychological and physiological stress response, meaning our bodies produce stress hormones that wear and tear on our mental and physical health.”

Too often, we turn to behaviors that affect our physical health — such as binge drinking, smoking, using drugs, or exercising too much — to help cope with the aftermath of a relationship ending. We may view these behaviors as a way to get back at our ex, or we may turn to them because our inhibitions are lowered or our self-esteem has been damaged, Shrout says.

That was Penny’s* experience. The 31-year-old says she started drinking heavily, getting high, and hooking up with people who didn’t make her happy after she discovered her boyfriend had cheated on her. “Drinking and getting high numbed me, and sleeping around gave me validation,” she says.

Shrout says that while these types of responses are not uncommon, they’re also not great coping strategies. You might feel better in the moment, but these behaviors “don’t treat the emotional distress from the breakup and can even contribute to long-term health problems.”

Research shows that romantic relationships play a role in a person’s overall health — and not always for the better. One study found that people who said their closest relationships (including those involving an S.O.) were filled with conflict had a 34% higher risk of developing heart problems, even after adjusting for things like age and overall health. Another study found that people who were married and unhappy had higher blood pressure than those who were single. Researchers have also found that women who’ve dealt with multiple breakups have worse mental health than women who’ve managed to avoid heartache by staying single or sticking with their very first romantic partner.

But let’s be real: The chances of that happening in 2019 are pretty slim. We will all likely experience a bad breakup at some point. Knowing that, here are a few ways to stay healthy during those tough times.

Unfollow your ex.

To preserve your well-being, Joy Harden Bradford, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist in Georgia, recommends disconnecting from your former partner on social media — at least for now. “A lot of times when we’re trying to stay connected with the ex, we’re trying to answer questions that social media will not give us the full answers to,” she says. “We’re trying to see if they’re hurting as much as we’re hurting or if there’s somebody new that they’re dating.”

This can create more emotional distress than forcing yourself to let go. And, as Bradford explains, that distress can manifest in physical symptoms, such as headaches, stomachaches, random pain or tension. Thanks, but no thanks.

Stay active.

Working out might be the last thing you want to do after getting dumped, but exercise has been proven to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety and increase self-esteem. “It doesn’t have to be full-blown Orange Theory every day,” Bradford says. Even a walk around campus or a few yoga poses while you binge on “Stranger Things” can be beneficial. The endorphins you get from exercise can help stabilize your mood — and yes, that’s true even when you’re convinced you’d rather spend the next six hours with your face in a tub of popcorn.

Get nutrition.

It’s not uncommon to lose your appetite post-breakup, especially if you’re really sad. The stress of a broken heart can unleash a swell of hormones and put your body in survival mode. As a result, the urge to eat becomes secondary — even a plate of authentic savory tacos from your favorite Mexican restaurant can look unappetizing. (The horror!) If that’s the case, Bradford recommends a smoothie or meal replacement shake. “Sometimes it can feel really hard to eat,” she says. “I typically will recommend people drink because that’s a little easier.”

Find a voice box.

Showing up to a party without your ex will likely raise questions, especially if you’ve been joined at the hip since day one. If it hurts too much to talk about the breakup, ask someone you trust to give people the heads up on why you’re riding solo. “When you are telling the story over and over again, sometimes you get stuck there,” Bradford says. “You can’t move on to the healing place if you are stuck in the reporting place.” Ask a friend to simply tell it like it is so everyone can move on: “Yes, they broke up, and no she doesn’t want to talk about it. How was your week?”

Allow yourself to feel all the feelings.

Everyone deals with painful events differently. Avoidance, however, is not an effective coping mechanism. “Those feelings don’t go away because we’re distracting ourselves,” says Bradford. “[It’s important to] really allow yourself to sit in the depth of those feelings, even though it sounds really miserable. There is no way for them to go away unless you actually allow yourself to experience them and then come to realize you can come out on the other side of this.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Tinder Moments – 18 Strange Tinder Profiles To Make You Cringe Your Face Off

I haven’t done one of these in a while, but why not? These are crazy!

picture someone in spiderman costume above city tinder spider-Man, 37 Crime fighter at The Avengers less than a kilometre away. Friendly, sensitive, strong sense of responsibility, liberal sexual attitude. Two previous Itrs, neither ended particularly well so now I'm looking for that special someone to hang around with. Good with heights and basic first aid deal breaker ed but not a EDIT INFO

 

18 Strange Tinder Profiles To Make You Cringe Your Face Off

Tinder is a place where people should express themselves, because if you’re looking for a partner for sexy time, or a partner for the not-sexy-times too (which we call a relationship), you should just get it over with and show off your weirdest quirks straight away. Right?! Well that’s what these Tinder people did, and… actually maybe I change my mind. Don’t do what these people did, because people (like us) will laugh at your f*cking weird Tinder profiles. Sorry not sorry. Heh heh.

  • 1
    Selfie girl with glasses blur lips tinder- Done Kelly, 20 24 miles away Active 1 week ago About Kelly Im sentient trash. nonbinary femme queer (im not a woman and don't call me one). I like lots of other stuff: bedroom pop, cartoons, food, puppies, aliens, u name it. STRANGEBEAVER.cOm X

  • 2
    picture man wearing backpack in muddy field tinder Mark, 36 McMaster University less than a kilometer away I'm looking for a girl to dress up like Garfield and eat lasagna off my chest. No weirdos. 102 Friends for Common Connections ID

  • 3
    picture girl long red hair tinder Vegan, feminist, I only date guys with muscles and an income. Anti vaxination. I am a vegan. If your not an atheist you need to check yourself. You know my name, not my story. X

  • 4
    picture blonde girl tinder i love me a guy in a fedora:) just kidding if u wear a fedora don't FUCKING message me RECOMME SYDNEY X

  • 5
    picture girl bright orange hair tinder I'm a chubby non-binary vegan queer. I sling vegan baked goods for a living. I reference Harry Potter on the daily. If you're not down for polyamory then we probably won't get along. Xearning ve only make frie e since M

  • 6
    girl wearing glasses red lipstick tinder About Mary Feminist, vegetarian, journalist, music junkie.

  • 7
    tinder messages Perrity YOU MATCHED WITH PERRITY ON 13/2/17. k-konnichiwa cutie chan; 33 *tips fedora and blushes* *hides behind corner waiting for m'lady to respond* Sent Okay wtf is happening Type a Message... Send GIF

  • 8
    guy taking selfie glasses blue shirt tinder- Tim, 23 Sam Houston State University 40 miles away lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched some woman at that party. him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch X ored Panda/ Tinder

  • 9
    selfie girl hair tinder Done Sydney, 24 18 miles away Active 33 seconds ago About Sydney The only reason I want a boyfriend is so that when I'm singing Fergilicious and it's at the part where she says "I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness he's my witness" I can point to him and he'll do the little "WOOOOH" part because right now I have to do both parts by myself and it's stressful because right after the WOOOOH part I have to get right back into rapping and the transition is hard

  • 10
    girl taking selfie looking drunk tinder Vanessa, 19 18 miles away If what you look for is a girl with personality then you're in luck because I have multiple Don't listen to her X BoredPanda/ Tinder 3

  • 11
    picture girl eating burrito sky tinder - Rachel, 20 1 mile away active 14 minutes ago About Rachel tbh I just want to get some free chipotle out of this

  • 12
    picture pretty girl smiling in tree tinder Megan, 24 37 miles away Active 9 hours ago About Megan I prefer my men out of shape and overly sensitive. X

  • 13
    selfie girl smiling tinder Alessandra, 27 10 miles away Active 1 hour ago I'm married and not interested. I just think Tinder is a fun activity while l poop.
  • 14
    picture girl black hair tinder Nicole, 19 43 miles away Active 41 minutes ago I'm 5'11, and if you couldn't tell I have long brown hair and huge tits

  • 15
    picture blonde girl tinder Chelsea, 23 25 kilometers away Active 1 hour ago If you like celery in soup, I hope you like celery on your children's graves because ur weak, ur bloodlines weak, and you'll never survive the winter

  • 16
    picture girl black hair tinder Samantha, 21 7 miles away Active 1 day ago Standing tall at 5'2" I want to do adult things with you.. "whispers* taxes "panting softly* pay the mortgage *moans* make sure we turned off all the lights, our utility bill was fucking $300 this month

  • 17
    picture girl hose water spraying into mouth tinder Courtney 21 Distance: 14 miles away Active: 51 minutes ago Tagline How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammer...merciless...insatiable... Shared Friends

  • 18
    picture someone in spiderman costume above city tinder spider-Man, 37 Crime fighter at The Avengers less than a kilometre away. Friendly, sensitive, strong sense of responsibility, liberal sexual attitude. Two previous Itrs, neither ended particularly well so now I'm looking for that special someone to hang around with. Good with heights and basic first aid deal breaker ed but not a EDIT INFO

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How to Avoid the Friend Zone and Make Her Desire You

Afraid you’ll end up being just a friend with the girl you like? Use these tips on how to avoid the friend zone if you want to get into her pants.

The friend zone is a tricky place to fall in.

You may be trying hard to get close to a girl, close enough to tell her that you like her, but one fine day she turns around and tells you that you’re such a great friend, or worse, you’re just like a brother to her.

Ever been there?

I hope you haven’t.

Guys find themselves falling into the friend zone almost all the time.

It’s frustrating and demeaning, and at times, inevitable.

You may get really close to a girl with all the hopes of getting into her pants, but somewhere along the way, you may have taken a few detours that led you right into the friend zone.

What is a friend zone?

A friend zone is a happy place for a girl. It’s a place where she and a guy can sit together and talk about anything and get real friendly with each other.

For a guy, a friend zone is the worst place to be in, especially when he likes the girl who behaves like a friend.

In a friend zone, the two involved friends of the opposite sex are just friends and nothing more. They project no sexual interest towards each other and behave in a completely platonic manner.

But can any guy ever be friends with a girl he finds sexually attractive? Or course not. He can try to be a friend with the hope of getting an occasional cuddle or a warm boob pressing hug now and then, but he’s always going to be just be a friend while she dates every other guy in the yearbook.

How do guys end up falling into the friend zone?

A guy falls into a friend zone for very obvious reasons. He behaves like a friend. And he never lets the girl know that he has more than friendly intentions on his mind.

And soon enough, the girl loses all realization of the fact that this guy has a package down there. And he just becomes another sexless thing she hangs out with all the time as a platonic friend.

So why do some guys end up as friends instead of boyfriends or sex buddies? Here’s why.

#1 They get too close. Getting too close to a girl on platonic grounds will never help you. You may assume that it’s the easiest way to get a girl to know you better. She’ll definitely get to know you better, but only as a friend.

#2 No sexual chemistry. If a guy likes a girl, he has to make it subtly obvious that he’s sexually interested in her. If a guy behaves like a pushover and a doormat, no girl will feel even a tingle of sexual chemistry.

#3 The girl’s not attracted to the guy. This sucks, but this is the most common scenario. The guy’s probably creepy, annoying or just not good enough to be her boyfriend.

#4 The guy thinks she’s too good for him. At times, a guy may genuinely believe that the girl he likes is way too good for him. And instead of hitting on her, he secretly lusts for her, but gives up on pursuing her. Could you ever live with yourself by just being the friend of a sexy girl who dates every other guy but you?

#5 He plays the true friend card. It works in the movies all the time. The girl has a best friend who’s always there for her. She goes ahead and dates every single guy in the world, and finally, at the end of the movie she sees her true love in the form of her best friend. How touching! And that’s why they call it the movies. In real life, you can’t become a girl’s boyfriend just by behaving like a best friend.

How to avoid getting into the friend zone

It’s really easy to avoid the friend zone. All you need to do is drop a few hints now and then to let her know that you’re really into her. Use these easy tips to get the message across and get her to desire you while you’re at it.

#1 Be a friend without behaving like her other friends. Don’t talk nonsense for hours or spend time talking about her problems in life. Talk about places she visits, movies she’s watched, and her plans for the weekend. Talk date talk and she’ll sense the chemistry in the air.

#2 Try to talk to her when she’s alone. If her other friends are around, talk to her if you must or just avoid her. You can’t really hit on a girl when she’s surrounded by a bevy of friends.

But when you find her alone, make sure you turn on your charm and impress her. See her alone? Chat her up. And if one of her friends come by, grumble audibly in a funny manner and say something like “just when I thought I was going to get some alone time with you, this guy pops up out of nowhere!” and just laugh. She’ll be confused and wonder if you’re being serious or just joking.

But she’ll get the hint that you like spending time with her alone. Make it obvious that you like spending time with her in whatever way possible, but don’t ask her out or tell her you like her just yet.

#3 Compliment her when she deserves it. Flatter her pants off. If she looks good, tell her she looks hot. If you see a hint of cleavage and she catches you staring, just laugh, apologize and tell it you couldn’t resist it. Add a few funny sexual remarks and you’ll never get into the friend zone.

#4 Touch her and treat her like your girlfriend. But do it respectfully though. Clasp her hand while crossing the street and open doors for her when it’s just the both of you. Make her feel like a queen, and she’ll love the attention. But when her friends are around, don’t give her any preferential treatment. Let her realize that you’re special to her only when it’s just the two of you.

#5 Make her feel special and exclusive. Gift her something small and personal, but tell her to keep it a secret. When you create secrets, you build sexual chemistry and suspense which leads to romance.

#6 Ask her out and change the topic. When you’re talking to her for a while, ask her out for lunch or coffee. See how she responds. But within a second, change the topic. Don’t wait for her to answer. It’ll seem like a joke, but it’ll still make her wonder if you really do want to date her. Don’t make things awkward by waiting a while before saying something else. Keep it simple, keep it funny and yet reveal all the dirty thoughts in your mind, and change the topic immediately.

Wondering how to avoid the friend zone? Just understand these pointers and use these tips. You’ll never fall into the friend zone with any girl ever again.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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7 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

“I’ve met enough Red Flags I could paper my walls with them…”

Keep an eye out. 

Dating can feel like an endless game.

Whether you spot each other across a crowded bar or take a chance and swipe right, we all begin by flying blind into the unknown. At first, it’s a game of first impressions. You take an inventory of their outfit, make a note of their drink order and use every piece of information to paint a picture of who they are.

After a couple of dates, the walls start to crumble and we begin to really learn about our new crush. Dubbed the ‘honeymoon phase’, these early weeks of dating are all about testing the waters and seeing if you both are truly compatible. Exhausting, right!

Once you’ve landed yourself a new partner, the real work begins. It means getting creative with date night, actively listening to your other half and maintaining a thriving network of besties and friends to keep your social life balanced. But, what if things don’t feel quite right? If you’re unsure about your new relationship, read on to discover the seven relationship red flags you should never sweep under the rug.

1. Lack of communication

After a hard day at work, we all need to let off some steam. And sharing our concerns with our partner is a healthy way of processing stress and building connections. When it comes to communication, we all want to share our thoughts without reservation.

If your partner seems absent, dismissive or unresponsive, this is an important red flag to take notice of. Lack of communication can mean important conversations go unspoken. When we aren’t able to speak openly and honestly about how we feel, we can feel ignored and, ultimately, resentful of the other person. In fact, these small annoyances can grow and spell disaster for your relationships in the long term.

2. Dislike for your friends or family

This next red flag can be very subtle, but it’s an important one to be aware of. How does your partner speak about your loved ones? Do they resent coming along to family get togethers? Maybe they don’t take the time to get to know your besties? Or perhaps they avoid socializing with your friends and family all together?

If you feel a disconnect between your partner and your social network, it can be difficult to sustain a healthy romantic relationship. Why? Because sharing time with our friends, family and partner shouldn’t happen in isolation. In some cases, this can also be an early warning sign of controlling behaviour. If you notice your partner withdrawing from your network, start a conversation to understand their reservations and what you can both do to address them.

3. Innocently pushing physical boundaries

Respect is the foundation of every successful relationship. When we feel valued by our partners, we’re able to build stronger and more meaningful connections. However, when the opposite is true, this can spell disaster for our relationship.

How does your partner react when you tell them to stop tickling you? Do they invade your personal space or jokingly poke you like a sibling, even when you’ve told them no? Respect begins at acknowledging and honoring each other’s boundaries. If you notice your partner doesn’t listen to your requests, this could be an essential red flag to watch out for.

4. Describing their exes as ‘crazy’

We’ve all had terrible partners and relationships that were destined to fail. It could have been your first high school fling or that crush you had when you started uni. Whatever the case, we all encounter people that just aren’t the right fit for us.

However, if you notice your new partner speaking badly about their past relationships this is something to take notice of. When terms like ‘crazy’ start to be attributed to multiple previous partners, it could be time to consider whether your partner is representing their dating past accurately. In many cases, they could lack the self-awareness to realize they were, in fact, part of the problem.

5. Refusing to make your relationship public 

PDA (or public displays of affection) can be a divisive topic. For some, walking hand in hand comes as second nature. For others, they avoid displays of physical intimacy at all costs. Whatever camp your relationship falls into, it’s a wise idea to consider what is motivating this decision.

Do you notice your partner’s behaviour change when you’re around his mates? Does his social media presence appear as if you’re not together? Has he avoided ‘putting a label’ on your relationship? If your partner is keen to keep things a secret, this could be a warning sign that your relationship might not be as open and honest as it first seems.

6. Difference in values 

We all have our own unique priorities. The stuff that matters most to us. It could be things like honesty or compassion, or more specific values like savings habits and big-picture parenting goals. Although we might not always see eye to eye, sharing core values are key to long term relationship success.

Does your partner play off dishonesty as ‘little white lies’? Do they make decisions without factoring in your plans or point of view? What is their relationship like with their parents and siblings? If you are noticing clear patterns of conflicting values, this could be a good indication that you might struggle to remain compatible over time.

7. Incapable of apologizing 

Arrogant, entitled and patronizing behavior should never be ignored. However, when we’re falling hard for a new fling it can be difficult to see situations clearly. But, learning how to identify negative behaviors early in a relationship can prevent you from getting stuck in a toxic dynamic.

If your partner constantly refuses to apologize or admit they’ve messed up, it’s important not to ignore this. Although this might seem like an insignificant personality trait, it can indicate your partner may have an inflated sense of self-importance. Because let’s be honest, no one wants to date someone who can’t say sorry.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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4 Zodiac Signs Most Likely To Defend Their Relationship

Imagine posting a sweet birthday tribute to the love of your life on Instagram and getting hate in the comments. Well, the four zodiac signs most likely to defend their relationship would never let that slide. Just like actor Florence Pugh, who posted a video on Instagram defending her relationship with Zach Braff after receiving disrespectful comments criticizing their 21-year age gap. While Pugh handled the situation with calm, cool, and collected head, these four signs would have had no problem expressing how they really feel about you and your opinions.

Whether you’re a global celebrity or just a regular joe, it’s not uncommon to get upset when someone speaks badly about your partner, and every zodiac sign reacts in their own way. For example, a level-headed and practical sign, like Capricorn, probably wouldn’t feel the need to say anything, unless they absolutely were inclined to, while a non-confrontational sign like Pisces wouldn’t say anything out loud, but would definitely take a lot of the comments to heart.

And then there are signs which, like Pugh, won’t tolerate any sort of judgmental comments made about their relationship choices, and will always speak up for what’s right. Even if you mean well, these four ride-or-die zodiac signs are most likely to defend their relationships — so don’t even try them.

Taurus (April 20 — May 20)

It takes a lot to make a Taurus mad, but criticizing their relationship is one surefire way to bring the bull out. Taurus is very patient and will only give their heart to someone who is worthy of their time and energy. So, if you were to say their partner was a bad choice, they would take that comment as a personal attack. They would feel pretty insulted that you don’t think they can make the right decisions for themselves.

Cancer (June 21 — July 22)

This sign typically looks for partners who can make them feel like they’re at home, so their partner quickly becomes like family to them. Since Cancer values family above everything else, they will defend them at all costs. Even though water signs are very sensitive, Cancers don’t typically like sharing their feelings and would rather hide in their shells. But in the case of someone disrespecting their partner, they will definitely snap.

Leo (July 23 — August 22)

Leos are loyal to their core and will fiercely defend their relationship from anyone and everyone. Similar to Taurus, Leos carefully choose the company they keep. They like to think that their partner and their friends are an extension of themselves. So, if you’re critical of their partner, they’ll take that to mean you’re critical of them. Leos are ruled by the Sun, which is all about ego. They won’t let you get away with making them feel bad about themselves.

Scorpio (October 23 — November 21)

Scorpio is very loyal and protective over what’s theirs. They’re not very open with what they’re thinking and how they’re feeling. So, if you have something to say about their relationship, they’ll listen without responding to anything back. But provoke a scorpion enough, and you will get the stinger. Out of all these four signs, this is one that can get a little mean if you say something they don’t like. It’s best to keep any unnecessary opinions to yourself.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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3 Things All Driven Men Look For In A Partner

Driven Men – smart, entrepreneurial, curious, open-minded, ambitious achievers – shape our world and set trends for others to follow. They are the innovators, the creators, the influencers and the leaders.

Hence, it is crucial these driven find the perfect partner who would support and compliment them the way they need to. However, it is often very challenging for driven men to find emotionally fulfilling relationships. This is why ambitious men need to know exactly what they are looking for when seeking a romantic partner.

“AMBITION IS LIKE LOVE, IMPATIENT BOTH OF DELAYS AND RIVALS.” – SIR JOHN DENHAM

Driven men, successful men, and entrepreneurial men all have something in common…

They all yearn for an emotionally fulfilling relationship.

Sure, all people crave a highly functioning and fulfilling relationship. But in my career as a relationship coach, I have consistently seen driven, high-achieving men, to be the most love-starved.

But why would that be?

Why Driven Men Have Messy Love Lives

“A MAN WITHOUT AMBITION IS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL WORM–IT CAN CREEP, BUT IT CANNOT FLY.” – HENRY WARD BEECHER

The more time and energy that driven men put into their careers and self-optimization (fitness, education, nutrition, spiritual practice, etc.) the more they tend to delay being in intimate relationships.

Since driven men are risk-tolerant in business yet risk-averse in emotional intimacy, they tend to subscribe to the “I’ll just keep getting more and more perfect until one day I’ll just fall into the perfect relationship that’s meant for me.”

But this is akin to standing next to a golf ball and taking 400 practice swings before you actually take a shot. You can prepare all you want, but the real learning comes from the experience of breaking through your emotional barriers within a committed relationship.

Unless of course, the relationships you keep falling into are just as safe as taking your practice swings because you end up in relationships with people that aren’t a compatible match with you.

So how do you, as a driven man, know what sort of things to look for in a partner?

The 3 Things That All Driven Men Need In A Partner

“Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.” – Jumar

While this isn’t an exhaustive list, between all of the most highly functioning long-term relationships that I have been witness to over the past decade, these are by far the most common traits that I see embodied in the partners of driven men.

1. Someone Who Is Kind To You When You Are Wrong

In their business dealings, driven men are wizards at being stubborn and laser beaming to the core of the matter. And while this helps them in business negotiations, it doesn’t help them nearly as much in their love lives.

Having a partner that will be kind and patient with you in those moments when you forget that she isn’t your employee and you can’t make all the decisions will be invaluable to your love life’s long term success.

2. Someone Who Is A Cheerleader

Entrepreneurs have an overactive optimism bias – meaning that they assume that they have a lower risk of experiencing a negative outcome than others. As such, they need a partner who can support them in their near manic-like work sprint phases of productivity.

Not only do they need encouraging words when they are up, they especially need someone to help them with emotional support when they are down.

After great success with his first two businesses, my father (a brilliant and talented serial entrepreneur) sold them to open a third business that went bankrupt within a year. With three children under five years old, it was a tough time for my parents. My dad struggled with depression and lost confidence in his entrepreneurial abilities. Fortunately, he had the courage and strength of a strong woman behind him (my mom) to help him through those difficult years.

A less supportive partner would have looked at the current reality of “what is” and packed up and left. But his brave and loving partner was able to see “what was” and “what will be” in the future and knew that he would be able to pick himself back up again. My dad speaks positively about that early business failure. It taught him the value of having strong support in family, friends, partners, and mentors, and not hesitating to ask for help.

Driven men can’t go it alone 100% of the time. Sometimes they need someone to lean on for support. So choose a partner that will be your cheerleader through both the good times and the challenging ones.

3. Someone Who Sees Past Your Resume

If you’re used to being one of the most impressive people in the room, you likely get turned off by women that are overly impressed by you.

And it’s not your fault.

As people, we don’t value what we don’t work for.

But the moment a woman stands out for you is when they aren’t as impressed by your past accomplishments as they are impressed by your character and personal values.

Sure, maybe you had a best-selling book or smartphone app, or you flipped businesses for impressive amounts of cash, but that was never you. Those were just things that you did.

So when you meet a woman who hears your resume and listens patiently with a “What else ya got?” kind of attitude, your interest is piqued. And for good reason. We all want to be seen for who we truly are, not for the things that we’ve done or achieved.

So while having a partner that is encouraging and supportive is essential for a driven man, you also want to make sure that she isn’t fully buying into your PR/bio page/resume above who you truly are as a person.

Can Driven Men Be As Successful In Love As They Are In Life?

“DON’T WAIT FOR A PERFECT PERSON TO LOVE. LOVE A PERSON AND MAKE HIM OR HER PERFECT WITH YOUR POWER OF LOVE.” – DEBASISH MRIDHA

Absolutely.

If you spent years figuring out how to become a success in one area of your life, you can experience those same results in other areas.

If you’ve read more books about startups, investing, entrepreneurship, or business than you have about love or relationships by a ratio of more than 10:1, then you might want to reconsider your priorities.

Smart and driven men embrace and appreciate and aspirations, independence, and creativity in their women. They want their partners to stand their ground, speak their minds and do what she believes to be true. Although this can create a little bit of friction in the relationship from time to time, this will also build a fulfilling and deep connection between both partners.

Women who understand driven men will not only help their men take one bold step after another, these women will also walk their own paths and be valued as equal partners in the relationship.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

If Your Ex Texts You Randomly, Here’s How To Stay Cool & Handle It

Nothing catches you off guard quite like an unexpected text from an ex. Whether you broke up three weeks ago or three years ago, seeing their name pop up on your phone screen out of the blue is sure to send you for a loop. Are you supposed to feel excited? Hopefully? Angry? An even better question: How the heck are you supposed to respond, if at all? Knowing how to react when your ex texts you randomly always depends on the situation, like the length of time that has passed since you last spoke or why exactly you two split in the first place. In any case, you’ll probably want to find a middle ground between, “I never stopped loving you,” and “New phone, who dis?”

“A text from an ex you still care about may send you into a serious session of overthinking and wondering what it means (i.e., do they want to get back together? Did they realize it was a mistake?),” licensed psychologist Dr. Joy Harden Bradford previously explained to Elite Daily. So before you fire back a response, think carefully about what it is you want from that ex, which is likely one of three things.

If You’re Open To The Idea Of Getting Back Together

Woman texting on the smart phone walking in the street

Shutterstock

Perhaps the breakup was amicable. You decided you were better off as friends, or that you wouldn’t work out in the long run, and you mutually decided to part ways. But now that ex is suddenly hitting up your phone, and you’re wondering whether you two may have made a mistake by calling it quits. First things first: Figure out if your ex is thinking that, too, or if they’re just looking to hook up.

As Bela Gandhi, president at Smart Dating Academy, previously told Elite Daily, “If they’re texting you that they want to hang out, that they miss you, that they’ve made a mistake… then they want to get back together. If someone is only texting you between 10 p.m. and 1 a.m., this is probably not a person who’s looking to be in anything serious with you.”

If your ex’s text seems to suggest the former, go ahead and reply, but be sure to manage your expectations and keep your response (somewhat) casual. By saying, “Hey, stranger. Long time no chat. I’ve missed talking to you,” or, “It’s great to hear from you. We should catch up over coffee,” you can express your interest without coming on too strong and facing potential disappointment.

If You’d Like To Be Friends Eventually And Nothing More Than That

If the first thing you feel after receiving an old-of-the-blue message from an ex is nostalgia rather than longing, it’s possible you miss them as a friend, but not a lover. As tricky as it is to stay friends with an ex, it can be done. Even if your old partner’s text seems to suggest they want something more than friendship, you are not obligated to return the sentiment. Remember what you want, and respond in a way that makes your intentions clear.

Samantha Burns, dating coach and author of Breaking Up & Bouncing Back, agreed that “it’s definitely possible to cultivate a friendship with an ex.” As she explained it, “You’ll know you’ve moved on when you can treat texts with your ex with the same expectations of any other friendship — without all of the amped up emotional reactions.”

If you feel confident that staying on good terms with you ex is not only possible, but desirable to you, respond in a way that is friendly and free from suggestiveness. Try, “It’s so weird that you just texted — something hilarious happened the other day and I almost texted to tell you about,” or, “I’m glad you texted. I’ve been dying to discuss the new season of our fave show with someone.” Make it known that you miss the friendship aspect of your relationship, but you don’t have any desire to rekindle the romantic aspect.

If You Want Nothing To Do With Them

It’s possible that a message from an old SO pops up on your phone and the only thought you have is, “Nope.” Whether you were hurt by that person, you’re still trying to get over that person, or you’re totally over that person for good, you’ll want to find a way to shut that convo down before it can begin. I’m always in favor of taking the high road — there really isn’t anything to gain from being nasty. Just keep your respond brief, detached, and straightforward, and they’ll likely back off.

To make it known you’re not open to starting up a relationship again, platonic or romantic, text back in a way that is short but not-so-sweet. Saying, “I’m not sure it’s such a great idea for us to keep talking,” or, “I need some space, and I would be grateful if you respected that,” lets your ex know you aren’t necessarily bitter, but you’re definitely not interested.

However, as Burns told Elite Daily, you may be better not responding at all. “A breakup impacts us on a neuropsychological level similar to drug withdrawal,” she pointed out, “so sometimes even sending a short text can be like showing up to the bar when you’re trying to get sober.” If ignoring that text message is what’s best for you, then just delete that text and move on.

 

In responding to an unexpected text from an ex, you’re opening a can of worms, and no matter your intentions, you should practice caution. “I think it’s important to be gentle with yourself and your feelings,” Bradford said, “so if the text brings up some stuff for you and then the day goes downhill after that, allow it to happen and then develop a plan for how you’ll try to have a better day tomorrow.”

If responding will bring more harm than good, it’s probably better not to respond at all. But if you think you might be ready to give your relationship another try, even just as friends, then choose your response carefully and see what happens.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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Here’s How It Really Feels To File For Divorce, According To 12 Men

It’s a whirlwind of emotions.

All divorces have to start somewhere.

And not just in terms of that first painful discussion, last straw argument, or moment when you and your spouse pass the point of no return.

In most cases – almost 70 percent, to be exact — women take the first legal step in filing for divorce.

So whether a husband knows it’s coming, or is about to be blindsided, chances are he’ll be left catching up in terms of emotionally processing such a monumental life change.

The moment the paperwork starts and the process becomes official, a lot of feelings hit.

So after telling your spouse you want a divorce, what does filing for divorce actually feel like?

As these 12 ex-husbands and fathers explain, the feelings can shoot the emotional gamut and bring everything from unimaginable pain to life-altering relief.

One thing’s for certain – the process comes with a lot of emotions.

1. I had a lot of regrets

“The divorce papers may as well have been a white surrender flag. That’s what it felt like. My ex-wife and I did everything we could to try and keep things together. But, we just ended up driving ourselves further apart. I guess my regret came from feeling like we – or I – had given up. Like maybe there was just one more thing I could’ve done to save us. Some ‘magic’ thing I missed. And filing for divorce was just a reminder that everything we tried just wasn’t good enough. We had to give up.” – Ken, 42, Oregon

2. I was relieved

“It was a long time coming. So, when I actually filed the papers, it was a big breath of relief. Even though there was more – much more – paperwork and legal stuff ahead, that first step was huge. I think she felt that way, too. It was just this weight of bad, unfortunate decisions that was lifted and put into the past, and would let us move forward as better people, and better parents. That was a huge part of us getting divorced – being able to function better for our kids. It’s been a little while since my divorce, but I’ll never forget that feeling.” – Andy, 37, Illinois

3. I felt so guilty

“My wife divorced me because I had an affair, so I don’t think it’s any surprise that I felt incredibly guilty once it all came out in black-and-white. The situation was complicated. There were a lot of emotions involved. Somehow, seeing your entire marriage broken down into pages and pages of legal paperwork just wipes all of those emotions away. And, for me, what filled that emptiness was guilt and shame. I wasn’t the only one who made mistakes. But, during that stage of our divorce it felt like I was.” – Gary, 36, California

4. I was shocked

“I was in shock from the second my ex-wife said she wanted a divorce. Honestly, I don’t even remember filling out most of the paperwork through the whole thing. Except the checks. I had no idea she was as unhappy as she was. We had what seemed like a great life, with wonderful children and loads of other blessings. The rug was completely pulled out from under me. The kids, too. Not one of us had any idea it was coming. It was a lot of sad, awkward conversations with them about why mommy wanted to leave, and I remember just feeling shocked the whole time words were coming out of my mouth.” – Mike, 40, Ohio

5. I felt stupid

“I actually had to Google ‘How To File A Divorce’. I had no idea. I really didn’t. And I didn’t know any lawyers, or anyone I was close with who had actually been divorced. For the most part, my ex-wife and I were on the same page about splitting up. Our kids were suffering because of our marital problems. But I’ve never felt stupider than when I cold-called a lawyer and was like, ‘Uh, Hi. I’d like to file for a divorce…?’ You don’t learn how to do that in school. Even if you know people who are divorced, you never get to see the inner workings of what it feels like. And it felt really embarrassing.” – Doug, 38, California

6. I felt angry. Very angry

“My ex-wife filed our paperwork. She was the one who wanted the divorce. When I got to see everything, I was blown away by all the reasons she listed for wanting to dissolve our marriage. She wrote down that I was neglectful, hurtful, unreasonable … just all these ridiculous claims that I’m guessing her lawyer told her to say. None of it was true. And I remember sitting there, reading it all, thinking about our kids and what a great father I thought I was, and just seething with anger. It felt like someone starting a rumor about me back in high school. I just couldn’t believe it.” – Christopher, 39, Maryland

7. I was proud

“I gave my ex way too many chances, for way too many reasons. Everyone I knew pushed me toward divorce, and they were absolutely right. So, when I actually filed the first bits of paperwork, it was like taking charge of a situation I’d let get way out of hand. It was a pat on my own back that I really needed, after the borderline abusive relationship I’d been in. It was me standing up for myself, which wasn’t something I was used to doing. To be honest, I think my divorce helped shaped the confidence I have today. If you knew me before, you’d know how grateful I am for that.” – Jimmy, 38, Virginia

8. I felt a lot of different emotions

“Throughout the whole divorce, I was constantly up one minute, and down the next. First, I’d think it was the right thing to do. Then my mind would flip-flop and I’d start thinking about all the things I’d miss. The bigger things were obvious — the house, the relationship with my kids, and stuff like that. But there was also a lot of weird, little stuff, like playing fantasy football with her uncle and cousin, that I realized I’d never be able to do that again. At least not without it being super awkward. The start of a divorce is this weird ‘whole marriage flashing before your eyes’ kind of thing. And it definitely gave me a chance to reflect on the gravity of my situation.” – Drew, 41, Pennsylvania

9. I felt very conflicted

“A lot of people will congratulate you on surviving a divorce. On one hand, you’re like, ‘Yeah. Thanks. I’m glad it’s over.’ On the other hand, it feels really icky to be congratulated about something so terrible. I’d tell people we filed the paperwork, and they’d give me an ‘atta boy’, or whatever. It didn’t feel right, at all. I’ve always thought it was weird how hunters congratulate each other for killing something, and it kinda felt like that. A lot of these people were at our wedding, and now they’re congratulating me on helping kill our marriage? It was a weird, unsettling feeling, that’s for sure.” – Anthony, 34, Tennessee

10. I was heartbroken

“I loved my ex-wife very much. She fell out of love with me, and that was just a completely devastating ordeal. The start of the paperwork was just brutal. It was just a cold reminder of what happened and, more importantly, what was about to happen. I didn’t want to finish it. I kept putting it off, probably just out of hope. I dragged it out as long as I could. Not out of spite, but because I was genuinely hoping for a miracle. Divorces are a special kind of trauma, and mine was no different.” – Josh, 35, Washington, D.C.

11. I was bitter

“When we got married, my ex-wife didn’t have much. It was my house, my car, and most of my money. Financially, it definitely wasn’t an equal partnership. I started to get really hostile toward the end, but there was nothing I could do. I just had to bend over and take it. The only thing that calmed me down was knowing that our kids would benefit from the arrangement. Maybe not benefit, but at least be taken care of financially. I didn’t think of it that way when I read her list of conditions, though. I just saw pure red.” – Gabriel, 43, Ohio

12. I felt guarded

“I didn’t want people to know. Part of it was shame, I think, but part of it was also me trying to protect myself from more pain. My trust was completely shattered leading up to our divorce, and I think that spilled over into my relationships with other people. I just didn’t know who I could count on. It felt like everyone was out to get me when, really, nothing was further from the truth. I had a lot of people wanting to help and support me, but my emotions were completely clouding my judgement. I’m so lucky they stuck by me through it all, because I was hard to deal with for those months while everything got sorted out.” – Steven, 36, Florida

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now on sale at Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

15 Tinder Horror Stories That Make Your Worst Date Seem Great by Comparison

“She peed on my floor.”

Going on a date with a stranger you met online can be unbelievably awkward, but these Tinder horror stories will make your worst swiping experience seem like a total walk in the park.

A recent Reddit thread attracted thousands of commenters when it asked people to share their most nightmarish tales from the swipe-based dating app. Apparently, a large swath of the population has not read our list of the worst dating mistakes you can possibly make, because these stories are bad, bad, bad. Guys, we know you love your mom—she’s probably an absolute delight!—but your Tinder match definitely doesn’t want to meet her on the first date.

Below, we highlighted some of the most cringe-inducing Tinder horror stories from the thread. Fun fact: Scrolling through the responses might actually make you grateful for being alone right now!

“It ended up being a double date with his mom.”

From McConnells_Neck: “It ended up being a double date with his mom and her OkCupid date. He told me that he and his mom were a ‘package deal.’ I was mortified and there was no second date.”

“As we left he asked me to marry him.”

From Transformwthekitchen: “I went on a Tinder date a couple months ago on a Sunday afternoon. Met up with the guy around 3, he had a really good energy and was funny and complimentary. The place we wanted to go had a long line, so we went to another restaurant on the water for a drink and appetizers. He started slamming down Mai Tais. I had one, he had 3. They were STRONG. Like, I was tipsy borderline drunk off of one. The bar had a 2 mai tai per person limit, but he found another bartender to get his 3rd. He got drunker and drunker and started telling me he loved me, joking at first but getting increasingly serious. As we left he asked me to marry him, I kind of laughed it off, and was like, ‘Maybe we take it slow, we just met each other.’ He got so mad he stormed off and left me on a street corner. Then as soon as he got home (it was 5 pm) he started texting me ‘come over.’ And ‘I miss you.’

“He was 43. Wtf.”

“Dude had left drippy poop water stains all over my bathroom floor.”

“After a movie date with a guy I met on Tinder, we came back to my place. We’ll call him Dude. I told him we could hang for a bit but I have work in the morning so I would need to go to sleep soon. Dude said that was fine, but he was hungry and he was going to order food. Ok sure. Dude orders 2 large subs from PotBelly and a milkshake. Downs it.

“… We end up messing around a bit and fall asleep in bed. I wake up to my front door opening and closing several times over a 5-minute period. My dogs are going nuts, and it’s 1 a.m. What the heck is this guy doing?? … I walk around the corner to make eye contact with Dude who is in a squatting position over my toilet, with a stick, poking around in murky brown poop water that is millimeters from overflowing onto my bathroom floor. Horrified, he yells, ‘Stop looking at me! Go back to bed! I have it under control!’ I’m still waking up trying to understand what I’m seeing and what’s going on, and I just start nervous laughing. I don’t know what else to do. He yells, ‘Why don’t you have a plunger?!?’ And I said I don’t know I never needed one until now!! He tells me to go back to bed he has it under control … I remember hearing him peek in my room a bit later and heard, ‘I fixed it.’ And then heard him leave and my door close behind him.

“The next morning. I hesitantly approach my toilet to find the water is down. But there is something poking out from the bottom of the toilet like he didn’t get it all. Upon further inspection, what I was seeing was the tip of a stick. Some gloves, towels and BBQ tongues later I pulled out approximately 3 foot of stick from my toilet that had broke off, followed by several other stick fragments. Dude had broke several sticks. I heard my door open and close so much, because he was going outside to look for a stick, one would break, he’d go get another. Dude had left drippy poop water stains all over my bathroom floor.

“… After work that day, I went straight to the store and bought a plunger.”

“Turns out it was one of those pyramid scheme recruiting gatherings.”

From amijohnsnow: “A chick said she was having a ‘work party’ at her house and I should come over. It’s BYOB, so I bought a 6-pack for myself. Went to her place and noticed more than half of the people were younger (17-18, while I was 21 and the girl was also 21). Then they gathered everyone in the living room and proceed to talk about the job. Turns out it was one of those pyramid scheme recruiting gatherings. I just sat there drinking my beer (only one drinking) for 2 hours because I thought it was rude to leave because they were telling sob stories and saying how much this ‘job’ had helped them. Sat there listening to some ‘head of the group guy’ saying how we can make millions in a short amount of time. Saying bullshit like, ‘You see my BMW 3 Series out front? That’s a company car that you can drive around in, if you do what we do.’ … Never went to ‘work parties’ for a Tinder date again. It was a complete shit show and if it wasn’t for the beer I brought, or the Tinder date’s dog, I would have just left.”

“She peed on my floor.”

“So I met this girl on Tinder and went for a lunch date. We had a pretty good connection so we decided to have dinner as well. After having a few drinks one thing lead to another and ended up back at my place, we hooked up and went to sleep.

“Middle [of] the night, I wake up. She’s intensely staring at me while she’s crouched behind the bed. I asked her if everything is alright, she said yes and got back into bed… I thought, little creepy, but probably nothing to worry about.

“She lays down to cuddle with me and she’s wet. At the time, I was like, damn, I must just be a stallion. Fast forward to the morning, she’s gone and there’s a wet puddle beside the bed.

“She peed on my floor.

“I still don’t understand it. I had a bathroom, but maybe she just got lost and couldn’t hold it?

“I did not hear from her again.”

“Blood pours down his face.”

From coyoteaparty: “Went on a date after talking to this guy for a few weeks and I told him I was thinking of getting my nose pierced but was afraid it would hurt. We are walking through a park in broad daylight and this dude takes a safety pin out of his pocket and fucking jams it through his nostril. Blood pours down his face. He laughs and says, ‘See? No big deal.’

“Dude. W t f.”

“He told me instead of saving for that I should save for a boob job.”

From whcaepeachy: “Talked to him for two weeks before we went out and no red flags so we ended up going out to dinner. I said I hadn’t been out in a while because I was trying to save money for a washer and dryer. He told me instead of saving for that I should save for a boob job. I didn’t even know how to reply so he followed up with, ‘No it’s not a bad thing, my sister and Mom both had small tits and got boob jobs and they look amazing.’ This is all before the waitress even brought our drinks. I just got up and left.”

“I look at his mother and see she was my old therapist.”

From rriro: “I went to his place and we hooked up but after he goes, ‘So you wanna know what I’m really into?’ And I was like sure and then he grabs my foot. I have a really irrational fear of people touching my feet so I ran the hell out of there anyway I get to the living room on the way out and it turns out to be his parents house and I look at his mother and see she was my old therapist.”

“After the bartender left I asked how she knew him, and she told me that he was her ex-husband.”

From everythjngbagel: “… After hanging out a few times I went over to her place and we hooked up. It was pretty great except that I forgot in her bio that she was fluent in German… And so mid-coitus this very cute blonde is shouting in German, which no offense to the Germans, isn’t exactly the sexiest language in the book. It was so unexpected and I was terrified.

“Another time we went to grab a drink at a bar and she obviously knew the bartender and we were all chatting it up, she was hanging on me and we had some PDA going on. After the bartender left I asked how she knew him, and she told me that he was her ex-husband. I was a bit shocked because we were all 20 somethin’s. When she went to the bathroom he leaned over and asked me how I took to the German in bed, and I [was] still a bit shocked said, ‘It’s alright.’ He winked at me and she came back.

“Weird girl, Nice guy, comped our drinks and he still remembers me when I go in for a beer.”

“I have a chipped tooth in the back and ended up slicing this guy’s dick.”

From PBandJAMM: “I have a chipped tooth in the back and ended up slicing this guy’s dick open from it..blood everywhere..he took off pretty quickly after that I deleted my Tinder account shortly after.”

“I saw a table full of my boys laughing their asses off.”

From 20thHokage: “I matched with this super cute girl on Tinder. We messaged back and forth for a few days. Didn’t see any red flags, we just liked the same things and seemed like we clicked very well so we decided to meet up at a restaurant for our first date. She told me to walk in and look for a women in a red dress. To give you some context, I don’t really do this very often so I was pretty nervous once I pulled up. I double checked everything: Hair? Check. Breath? Check. Nothing in my teeth? Check. Condoms? Check. So I get down and walk into the restaurant and I started looking for her. The hostess offered to seat me somewhere but I declined and said with a smirk, ‘My date is waiting for me it’s okay.’ So I continued and walked in looking for her. I couldn’t seem to find her, but as soon as I turned a corner I saw a table full of my boys laughing their asses off and recording my reaction to the moment I realized I have been catfished and been flirting with the boys for the past week….”

“She told me she was vegan and that she was cool that I’m not.”

From Rickrickrickrickrick: “Met at a Starbucks. She told me she was vegan and that she was cool that I’m not. I order a coffee with cream in it and she screams at the top of her lungs, in the crowded Starbucks, that I’m a cow murderer. I just paid for my stuff and left.”

“We went to her place and the entire house reeked like cat pee.”

From Verysmallsquares: “Well I’ve only gone on one Tinder date, we talked for a bit and I agreed to pick her up at Starbucks. She looked nothing like her pictures, but I thought I should be nice and at least hang out with her for a bit. We went to her place and the entire house reeked like cat pee. Like saturated. Then as she proceeded to show me her massive collection of animal tail butt plugs, she screamed at her chihuahua and smacked it right on the nose and without missing a beat just asks if I want to make out on the couch. I awkwardly sat down and pretended to look at my phone and made up that my grandma was dying so I could gtfo.”

“Matched with my bff’s fiance after the engagement party.”

From amym2001: “Matched with my bff’s fiance after the engagement party. Screen shots of everything and lost my bff because I don’t play that. I was uninvited to the wedding. Marriage lasted 18 months.”

“I think I was someone’s horror story.”

From nel_wo: “I think I was someone’s horror story.

“My girlfriend and I had broken up about a month ago, I had still not gotten over. So I started using Tinder to go on dates to fill that void… One girl made the unfortunate decision to go on a dinner/drinking date with me. The beginning of the date was going well; until we ordered a few drinks and I proceed to spend the entire 2 hours talking about my ex and venting to this poor girl.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now on sale at Amazon!

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