It’s not the truth that hurts. It’s not knowing the truth.
It’s devastating when a guy leaves you and you don’t know why. You can spend months, sometimes even years, trying to figure it out while you learn how to deal with a breakup.
But when you dwell on the past, it’s worse than his actual leaving. This thinking keeps you bonded to him and prevents you from meeting someone else.
While many women may think fear of commitment causes the men they love to leave them, there are a few other reasons. And they all have to do with you.
1. You ask for more, better, or different.
This is a tough one because you may feel that you’re only taking care of yourself and your needs, which is great. But when you’re consistently asking a guy for more, better and different, you’re giving him the impression that he can’t please you, and what he does isn’t enough.
When a guy says to you, “I can’t please you. I’m letting you go to find someone who can,” you’ve touched this wound. Whether it’s right or wrong, this is often the number one reason why men leave.
You still get to ask for what you want and say no to what you don’t want, but the remedy is improving your communication with him.
2. You become his mother.
Once you get on the road of telling him what to do, you’re on your way to becoming his mother. If you’ve been taught that love means taking care of other people and their needs, you may find yourself picking up after him, fixing his problems, and, in extreme cases, paying his bills.
Another danger is that he may like it and he’ll let you do everything for him as his mother did. You may end up in a sexless relationship and he finally leaves because men are not turned on by their mothers.
3. He’s still a boy.
Sometimes, with no effort on your part, you just inherit a guy who’s still a boy. This is a guy who hasn’t gone through his Fisher King Wound.
He hasn’t learned (hopefully) from his mother that women, children, animals, and the planet are not here for his gratification. He hasn’t learned to give, protect, and cherish women, children animals, and the planet which is often why guys leave you when the going gets rough.
He is only interested in what feels good in the moment and instant gratification. In a nutshell, you have a (dare I say it?) Peter Pan.
I can’t tell you every reason why guys leave you, but I can tell you this: We’re always attracted to the right wrong person until we learn the lesson. He who leaves first without learning the lesson repeats the lesson and you know you’ve learned the lesson when you no longer want to repeat the lesson.
For your part, watch out for asking for better or different and see what he willingly gives. Men fall in love when they give. If he doesn’t care about your feelings and leaves you with no explanation. He’s not your man he’s someone else’s boy.
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