Kita – Chapter 36 – Baby’s Back! – Part 2

Kita finishes her tanning session after 10 minutes and comes out. She’s still hung up on Steve and wants to talk about him and why he doesn’t text her enough. Kita’s a foolish young girl and I’m really trying to help this naïve child navigate the dating world.

But she’ll make enough mistakes until she finally learns. I think she really has no clue when it comes to dating. She’ll ask me the same questions over and over. She’ll make excuses for these clowns too. ‘Oh, maybe I should text him. Maybe he’s just busy. Should I text him? So don’t text Steve right?’

And the list goes on and on. There’s even a woman seated in the waiting area and she can hear all of this conversation I’m having with Kita. She chimes in with some solid advice. Then her husband comes out and even he agrees with me. At one point the woman says: “See? Here’s a woman and two men agreeing on the same subject. Let this guy pursue you.” she says as they’re leaving.

But you know what? The great thing is, I’m just happy to see Kita. I’m happy to help her in any way I can. I’m glad to be near her. To look at her pretty face with those lovely almond eyes. I don’t mind any of her nonsense. Beauty has always been very forgivable for me.

But alas, she’s still going crazy that the loser Steve isn’t getting back to her. She just can’t get it through her pretty little head that the world doesn’t think like she does. But I’m beginning to realize that when she gets stressed out about these other little twerps, some thing changes in her and she comes to me. Because that’s what she does. It’s like a trigger.

“Is anybody in the salon?” (she sighs)

I look at the board. “Just you and me.”

Kita walks out into the hallway to see if anyone’s coming up the steps. She walks back towards the counter… her eyes with that familiar twinkle.

“Do you wanna kiss me, Charles?”

“Since the moment I saw you today, Kita.”

I take her sweet face in my hands and kiss her gently on the lips. They’re so soft and full. I love this strange transformation. I’ve never experienced anything like this with anyone else before that behaved like this when they were sober.

She reaches up and puts her hands behind my neck and locks her fingers. I can see what’s she’s doing, as I raise her feet off the floor. Her tan thighs wrap around my waist and she’s hanging on me like a little monkey. I start to walk towards the back of the salon with her on me swirling her busy little tongue around mine. Her mouth more delicious that that apple I devoured earlier. I imagine what it would be like to fuck her in this position. I’m sure it would feel glorious. I take her in the back room and sit her on the sink. We continue to make out and I’m running my hands up and down her soft, supple legs.

Kita’s moaning as I kiss her neck. This feels like a rerun from our last brief encounter. She takes my face in her hands.

“Okay… okay, (she says, breathless) I have to stop. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Charles. This keeps happening.”

“Don’t be sorry, Kita. I don’t mind. (I love it!) Maybe it’s a form of OCD that’s triggered by stress.”

“Do you think?”

“I don’t know. But I suppose we should get back up to the counter.”

“Yea.”

 

(Check it out)

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/11/obsessive-thoughts-a-darker-side-of-ocd/281260/

 

I lift all 96 pounds of this little doll off the sink and gently set her back down. As I do, she slides down and the tips of my thumbs graze the bottoms of her firm breasts.

She giggles and takes my hand as we walk back up to the front of the salon.

I try to regain my composure and regulate my breathing. Kita does the same as she steals glances at me like the precocious little girl she is.

“I know you’re leaving for Florida for a month over the break. Is there a day next week where I can see you outside the salon for a lunch or a dinner?”

“Open your calendar.”

(That was easy)

“Hmm… Wednesday. I could do a late lunch next Wednesday. Like 2:00pm. Is that okay?”

“Sure!” (Smiling)

“Oh, and send me a calendar invite like you did last time.”

“Will do, Miss!”

“Okay, I have to go write a paper.” She reaches out and rubs the back of my hand and gives it a couple of reassuring squeezes. “I’ll be back in to see you before our lunch! See ya, Charles.”

And she was gone.

 

Something is definitely going on. Her behavior certainly is odd. Am I a release, a revenge, or simply the benefactor of a compulsion?

Well, you can’t rape the willing and I really enjoy her company, beauty, and delicious kisses.

I also like that despite her inexperience she’s organized and punctual. She’ll keep our date.

I better get that calendar invite right out to her!

 

 

 

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Kita – Chapter 35 – Baby’s Back! – Part 1

It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I was working at the salon as usual. I had just opened the doors for business.

I was coming up the hallway from the back. Morning sunlight is pouring through the huge windows in the front of the salon where the gym’s located.

I see a petite silhouette standing at the front counter. I’m not wearing my glasses so I can’t see clearly the identity of this person. But as I get closer…

“Kita! You’re back! (Hugs) I didn’t think you’d be back until Monday!”

“Yea. My train was at 7am this morning!”

“Well I’m happy you’re back.”

She’s munching on an apple as we chit-chat about our collective holiday experiences. Hers seemed fun with her sister and the family, mine just hanging with friends. Then out of nowhere:

“So I texted Steve.”

Steve is the guy who was her rebound off former boyfriend JR. She hung out with him for a month or so. He never took her on a proper date. They just hung out at his place or she would just sit around and watch him work on his truck. She kissed him but no sex. (So that’s good)

(Sigh) “How’d that go?”

“I told him I still cared about him and he said the same and that maybe we can get together when I get back to Philly.”

“Good luck with that. Don’t reach out to him again. He needs to take the step and pursue you. You’re the prize Kita. Against better judgement you’ve reached out to him again. Now that the connection is there it’s up to him to make the move now and set up a proper date.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“Then he’s really not interested in seeing you again.”

“Okay. He always says he’s really busy with work and things are crazy.”

“People say things like that to get out of stuff, Kita.”

“Why can’t people just be straight forward and say what they want?”

“Because you’re straightforward, forthright and honest and you want everybody else to be like you. It just doesn’t work that way I’m afraid.”

“But that sucks.”

“People suck sometimes.”

“I hate boys.”

“Then date men.”

She looks up at me and grins ever so slightly. I look away.

“Can I have my lotion? I guess I’ll go tanning.”

“That’s what we do here! Where do you want me to send you?”

“Send me…”

“Send you where?”

“Send me to Room Two.”

I set her up in the system and the song “You Send Me” pops into my musical brain. She tosses the apple into the fresh plastic bag that I have just put in to line the waste basket this morning, and heads to her room.

I’m walking past the basket and see there is still plenty of flesh (mesocarp) on that apple. So I pick it up and start eating it. (The bag is clean and there are no other objects in the bag. Just the apple)

I don’t bite into that apple because I’m hungry. I don’t savor every sweet, delicious bite of this discarded piece of fruit because I need to eat more healthy. I don’t eat out of the trash can like a homeless person. I eat that apple because Kita has just had her sweet mouth on it. Her plump, soft lips and tongue have been all over this lucky bit of fruit. I know to some of you this may seem a little gross, but that apple was delicious! It was better in my twisted mind because Kita had her hot mouth all over it. There’s something sexual about the whole, sharing food/biblical/forbidden fruit thing working in my mind. So I ate that apple right down to the seeds and stem. It’s like I was devouring a part of Kita.

Or Kita herself.

 

 

 

Kita – Chapter 33 – Off to NYC for Thanksgiving

I get to the salon. Kita is already there. Always good. She looks beautiful as always. But Achilles is there and she’s asking about fitness and diet. Achilles is the king of that. I stand down and let him go but he knows I want her as my girl. I like that he knows that. As he talks about heath and fitness he make more eye contact with me than her. It lets me know he’s not the predatory male here. That’s a real thing here at the salon. He always says to me, “Did you hit that yet?” Of course I tell him the truth, that I have not and probably never will simply based on the gap in our ages. But that is the end goal.

She seemed surprised to see me.

I asked her to Dave and Busters a week ago. Is she avoiding me? I feel this. Kita is so self-absorbed and fucked up so I’m going to let it go. But only slightly.

Why did she come in before my shift? I think of this kind of nonsense. Kita is oblivious and has nothing to do with it but I think about it. I’m always thinking about her. Sadly, I think about her more than my true love Cherie.

Kita, is simply a dessert in the myriad of my life. Just a sweet krimpet I can bite and spin my wheels with on romantic counseling.

Why are we always kissing? I don’t know. I love kissing Kita. To drink from the sweet lips of a 21-year-old girl. I am truly honored.

To feel the occasional swirl of her busy tongue in my mouth drives me crazy. But I digress as usual.

“I miss JR and I’m sad.” she says.

But she’s kissing me the whole time and I think she’s missing her daddy.

And that’s where our hero steps in and relives Kita of her stress.

I’m going to do that as much as possible.

Achilles leaves and I take over the shift. Kita hangs out and chats with me. We talk about the upcoming holiday and what we’re doing. She’s taking a Greyhound for New York to have Thanksgiving with her family.

“Do you have any snacks?”

I whip these out.

 

Look at her sweet little hand. So dainty with her white nail polish. A client gave me that bag of snacks. I thought It’d be perfect for Kita. (and besides, I always see her after school which makes it all a little more lurid)

“Aww! Awesome! Thank you. Where’d you get these? I’ve never heard of them before.”

“A friend of mine knows a rep from the company and he gave them to me.” (Bold faced lie)

“I think this’ll be an awesome snack! I can eat some and then seal up the bag and have some for later.”

“Yea, I’ll see if my friend has any more samples. I’m not yet sure where you can buy these snacks.”

Kita grabs her special lotion and heads into her favorite sun bed in room 2. I go about my usual duties. Cleaning, checking that all the rooms have towels and making sure the bathroom is in good order.

When Kita is finished she walks into the waiting area. I’m chilling in one of the chairs looking at my phone.

“Sure is quiet in here tonight.”

“Yea, well the holidays are upon us, so a lot of people have already left the city to be with their families.”

“Is anybody else in the salon?”

“Nope. Just you and me.” (I say this not looking up from my phone, just to see what she’ll do)

Kita leaps on my lap straddling me. I’m thrilled and feel my heart beat quicken and suck in a surprised breath. I run my fingers past her ear and through her luxurious golden locks. I pull her to me and kiss her deeply. A passionate, hungry kiss. It appears Kita has quite an appetite that needs more than snacks to satisfy.

I move to her hot, slender neck and lightly attack her with kisses. She exhales sharply and throws her head back offering more, and she presses her crotch firmly against mine.

We kiss more and I’m holding this petite girl in my arms. I love the way she feels and smells. In the heat of this moment I want to fuck her back to Asia. She grabs my hand from her waist and presses it on her breast. My fingers sink into its firm softness like a caramel muffin.

She’s so beautiful to me…

I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and I know this little rendezvous is about to come to an abrupt end.

Fuck!

Kita eases away from the obvious bulge in my pants and gives me on last little lick on my lips and then a wet, smacking kiss. (Strong finishing move!)

She slowly backs away from me, grinning and glancing intermittently from my eyes to my crotch. I can feel my face is flushed with desire. I reach for a magazine and hold it in front of my pants as I limp over to the counter and stand behind it.

Something is happening here. Kita is somehow getting my constant advice on her boy problems. But she is literally straddling two different relationships with me. It feels good when she goes into sexy Kita mode, but most of the time she’s just a regular young chick that’s trying to navigate her way through life. There seems to be this strange duality to Kita.

One minute she’s the innocent, confused girl who’s texting boys and getting ignored and the next she’s jumping into my arms. You don’t think she’s got some sort of disorder, right?

She’s giggling and starts walking back towards the bathroom as the customers enter the salon.

What am I going to do with this chick? This little mynx is driving me crazy!

I send the clients to their respective rooms and Kita returns. She smiles. God, she’s beautiful. I love this caramel colored doll.

“I have to go.”

“Okay… Have a nice Thanksgiving. Be safe on the bus.  I’ll miss you, Kita.”

“I’ll miss you too, Charles!”

She hugged me in a way that was friendly and not the vixen she was five minutes ago.

But I understand.

I think Kita lacks a dad. She only talks about her mom. He’s basically invisible because he’s so busy with work.

Kita and her sister went to a private boarding school. (Girls only!) Their whole lives because they could, but never gained all of the real world we all got navigating our way through the shit that is public school.

Their parents protected their sweet adopted daughters. They rescued those Chinese babies. But once they had them, they never taught them how to navigate the real world of dating, courtship and relationships.

Oh my god. Kita has no tools. She’s trapped in eccentric thinking… that everyone thinks like her. She’s ill equipped to move forward to find a mate in this world.

I want her. But she’s going to go without realizing how I feel about her yet.

Am I okay with that?

Yes.

Because she’s 21 and beautiful and I’m a fickle asshole that’s a beauty addict. I adore this girl. I can’t help it.

“I have to go to New York…”

“I know. I’ll miss you honey.”

“‘I’ll miss you too, Charles.

(Blows me a kiss)

And baby’s gone.

I want her so much. I must have her. But how will that happen? She sees me as a mentor. She gives me kisses but it’s in these short controlled (or out of control) bursts and its killing me.

How do I make Kita love me?

There must me a catalyst.

What’s that going to be?

 

If you choose to listen to the song I’ve included in this post, listen to the final line John Waite sings. That’s how I feel about Kita!

 

 

Kita – Chapter 32 – Locked and Loaded

“I’m sad about the loss of the nostalgic love I had with him. We’ve obviously grown apart.”

She comes into the salon and as always I’m delighted to see my little China doll.

I’m so fickle. I love so many women. Cherie’s my girlfriend, but I hardly see her due to our schedules. I want to stay with her and I like this arrangement. I’m sure she’s not happy about it, but I like the idea of having a girlfriend that isn’t around much. It just works great for me. Just ‘greatest hits’ and gone. Then back again for more a month later. It’s always glorious to be with Cherie, but I love my freedom to work and be with my friends and my alone time.

I have another gift for Kita. But she starts the conversation first.

“I texted JR.”

I look away and grimace.

“No wait. Let me tell you what happened, Charles.”

“I’m listening.”

“I just asked him how he was doing and he got combative right away. I was like, how are you? and he said, ‘can’t you see on Instagram?’ I don’t follow him on any social media.”

“That’s good. You shouldn’t. Don’t look at that stuff, it’ll make you crazy.”

“So my friend who didn’t know we were broken up asked me why JR is posting all these pictures with some girl that’s not me. I told her we had split and she said the girl isn’t so hot, and it’s his loss.”

“Obviously. You’re beautiful, kind and sweet, Kita. He’s a manipulative idiot that squandered the best person in his life.”

“Thank you, Charles. So he said he moved on because I took up with Steve and that forced him to move on. It really made me mad because I only started talking to Steve because JR was doing what he did for all of last year.” (See her record in my previous post about Kita)

“Exactly. He’s trying to turn it around like you left him and took up with someone from his crappy neighborhood, and he’s butt hurt about it now that he can no longer control you. He abandoned you, Kita. He’s an asshole.”

“Yea, I was just trying to do the adult thing and be civil to him and maybe get some closure, and he started in on me trying to make me feel guilty when that simply isn’t the case. He’s a punk and I’m done with him. Steve was my rebound and I’m done with him too, but I’m not going to talk to JR anymore. The way he behaved on the phone shows me who he really is and even though I’m sad about the loss of the nostalgic love I had with him, we’ve obviously grown apart.”

“You’re correct in your thinking, Kita. You’ve grown out of his juvenile controlling, insecure behavior. He’s a child. You said yourself, you hate boys. I know they suck, but it gets better. TIME takes care of everything. I promise. I’ve been through a lot. Pain and heartbreak is a natural process we all have to go through at some point and it’s how we learn to cope with loss.”

“You’re right. Thank you. Do you have any snacks?”

I go and get my stash. and hand her the box full of cereal bars.

“Mmm… Oatmeal raisin!” She says as she happily bites into the bar.

I love feeding her and taking care of her.

“I have something for you.”

Her lovely eyes light up. “Ooh… what is it?”

I hand her this:

“Ohhh! Awesome! Thank you! My mom is going to be so happy when I tell her you gave me this!”

As she’s reading the instruction on the back of the package, I smile and my mind drifts to an imaginary conversation with her father.

“Kita, I don’t know how comfortable I am with my 21 year old daughter hanging around with some middle aged man from a tanning salon. You’re going out to dinner with him and spending an exorbitant amount of time with this man.”

“He’s a dad with a daughter my age who has lived him since she was 18. He gave me this last week. (Shows dad the pepper spray) That’s the first thing he gave his daughter when she came to live in Philly.”

“Approved. Spend all the time you want with him. He sounds like my kinda guy.”

My active and creative mind also cruises into another fantasy sequence…

“Kita. I love you and have strong feelings for you. You know that. The more time you spend with me the more my feelings will grow for you. I know you’re a young woman of great virtue and want to retain your maidenhood. But one day you’ll be skipping through the woods bringing a picnic basket full of goodies to your grandma. I’ll emerge from the darkness and reveal to you the wolf I truly am. (I hand Kita the pepper spray)

This… is for that day.”

Funny, right? I’m the one Kita needs to worry about. But all kidding aside. I never operate like that. If she comes to me… When she comes to me, she will do so willingly and yield to me. That’s how it always is in my life. I never take. It’s always handed over to me in mutual celebration.

I dream of that day. I think of her asleep in my arms. I smell her hair as I’m nestled behind her like a spoon. My mind recalling the night before of passionate, searing lovemaking the like she’s never felt.

Back to reality…

“Here let me show you how it works, dear.”

I show her how to hook the unit to her key chain. I hold her dainty hand in mine and guide it to the quick release button to separate the pepper spray unit from the key chain. I then show her how to hold it and how to simply slide the safety to the right to engage the unit.

She’s holding it.

“It’s now armed, Kita. Press down on the trigger and fire it in a horizontal, back and forth motion across the assailants eyes. It will immobilize your attacker and give you time to get away quickly and call 911.”

She presses down on the trigger and the unit shoots a tight stream of the police grade pepper spray 10 feet away at the wall.

“Ooohh! Wow! That really works! Thank you, Charles! I got it. I’m ready!”

“Keep that with you at all times, Kita. You’re only five feet tall. You’re small and someone may think they can take you. You hit them across the eyes with that, and they’ll be temporarily blinded with searing pain in their eyes and it’ll give you time to get away. I care about you and don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“You’re so amazing, Charles. I’m so glad I met you.”

She grabs me and hugs me. Kissing my face and lips.

I love this. And hope she never has to use it on me…

Kidding! It’ll be the last thing on her mind if…. WHEN she comes to me.)

We’re making progress…

 

 

Kita – Chapter 26 – Round and Round – Part 2

“Kita, I’ve asked myself the same question several times. It’s because we’re good people with good hearts, and we give and believe in people. But unfortunately we sometimes make choices that aren’t right for us and we get hurt. But we learn from that and go forth stronger and better. Worked for me. I believe in you Kita.”

“Yeah. It’s a good trait that we have. It just sucks for us if it doesn’t end up working out. Thank you!!!”

“As a friend I’m sorry this is happening to someone I care about but this is how we grow as people.”

“It’s definitely one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my life. I know once I’m over it, I’ll look back and be so happy. It’s just getting there.”

“I’m sad for you, Kita but you’ll come out on the other side of this experience stronger and more wise.”

“I’m sad too. I really loved him and just wanted to make him happy. But we’re not good together.”

You’re right in your thinking, Kita. You’re already curing yourself. Just take some time and center yourself. Hold on dear. I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be okay! Thank you though. I’m just going through some rough times.”

 

And it ends there…for now.

 

My girl has some issues. She’s struggling with the obvious loss of a long term and very deep love to her. She’s confused and lost. Why else would she be spinning like this right now? It has to be horrible. You’re in love with someone and then they leave you. This blog has been about that. I get it. If you’ve been following it, I went through that with Annabelle and it was awful. That was five years ago for me and of course after two years I was fine. But it took two years! Kita has the capacity even as a young girl to love very deeply. I know it’s alien to her to feel this way, but I am all to familiar with the bitter burn and searing pain of lost love. It’s like the withdrawal symptoms from coming off drugs.

I’ve got my circle of friends and family. I’m fine now. I cut all of the crazy people out of my life and keep the borderline ones at arms length or in small doses. I can manage that.

But Kita has no idea how to navigate that. It’s killing her, poor thing. Sadly, she’ll just have to ride it out like we all have. Each and every one of us.

I’m doing everything I can to support her during this dark period. People need that and I’m in a position to do that now.

No more crazies. Just good people that are wounded and need me right now. I’m ready to offer whatever they need. If I charged by the hour I’d be a wealthy man.

But as long as I’m here on this Earth, if I can help people get through their pain and move forward with their lives then that’s what I’m going to continue to do.

I believe in you Kita. I love you. You don’t know it, but I do in my own way. I’ll get you through this. But sometimes I just feel like we’re going round and round.

Right now, Kita just needs my presence. Not my presents.

 

 

Kita – Chapter 25 – Round and Round – Part 1

I was chilling at Cavanaugh’s Rittenhouse having my Monday lunch special. I get a text from Kita.

“My Mom said she looked at JR’s Facebook and it looks like he has a new girlfriend. So now I’m in a terrible mood. I wish she never told me.”

“Can you please ask your mother to refrain from looking at your ex’s social media and NOT tell you stuff like that again? You’re trying to heal!”

“I’m so sad.”

“I’m sorry dear. Pain is part of growing up. We appreciate our happiness more when we know sadness. It’s part of life. I know that doesn’t make you feel better but try to stay busy and surround yourself with good people.”

“I know and I know he didn’t treat me the way I deserve. But it makes me sad. I could’ve probably had another chance with him if I didn’t involve myself with Steve. And now Steve is gone too. I’m just really upset. Why is it taking so long to heal? I want this process to be over by now.”

You can’t rush the healing process. Grief travels at it’s own speed. You have the capability to love deeply, Kita. That’s a good quality. I have it too. But since we love deeply it takes time for us to heal when love is ripped from out hearts. I’ve been through this a couple of times. Love and pain don’t work like a light switch no matter how much we want them to.”

I’m in so much pain right now. I miss him and now he has someone else and is okay. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even want to be alive right now. I’m so sad.”

“Oh God please no, Kita! Don’t say that! There are many people who love and care about you. Call a friend or family member. Write down your feelings. Please believe me, IT GETS BETTER. You’ll meet someone else and be fine. Maybe you just need to be single for a while and focus on yourself and heal.”

“I don’t know what I need but I need something because I can’t stand feeling this way.”

(I know what she needs….)

“You’re experiencing this kind of pain for the first time in your life, Kita. It’s always the worst the first time. I’ve been there. You almost can’t imagine that you can actually feel that much blackness.”

“I’ve felt this way for a long time. It somehow felt better this time around until I hear things about him and his life. And the fact that he’s doing alright and with new girls makes me feel sick. He gets to treat them nicely and loved and I’m just really sad. I miss him and being with him. It almost feels impossible at this point that I’ll ever move on. The entire year has been me trying to move on from him.”

“Maybe it was just photos of him with girls he knows hoping to make you jealous. Maybe he doesn’t have a girlfriend. It could all be an act or he’s simply rebounding. Focus on you, Kita. I’ll do whatever I can to help you get through this mess.”

“I don’t want to check to see because it will probably make me upset. I don’t really know. I don’t think it would be a new girlfriend because just last month he was in my phone. But I don’t know anymore with him. I know I shouldn’t be upset because it could be anything. I’m still bothered by it.”

“Of course you are. That’s a normal reaction. Try not to panic. I’ve been through this. It sucks. I don’t think he has a new girlfriend that fast. Don’t look at any of it. It will only cause you pain.”

“I don’t know. It’s probably better not to know any of it anyway. It just leaves my head spinning. Ugh, this really sucks. Really sucks. Nothing is really going good in my life right now. I thought I was okay because Steve helped alot. But he’s history too now.

“He’s an idiot because he squandered a great, smart girl like you Kita. We all want that which retreats from us. You have great value and there are plenty of men who would love the opportunity to date you.”

“Thanks for helping me. I just don’t understand why I keep getting hurt.”

 

 

Kita – Chapter 24 – The Trends and The Ends

My father used to say that a man that could sit in a room by himself was a man that was truly at peace.

My lovely sprite strolled into the salon on Tuesday.

“I ended it with Steve today.”

At that moment I couldn’t be happier. This guy sucks. He’s a child that doesn’t know the sweet girl he has in his grasp. Of course he’s going to squander it. Just like the girls in my life that have dumped me in the past. They have this beautiful elegant diamond and they drop it into the dirt.  (See: Annabelle – Nice to Meet You)  It’s textbook.  Cool people like me and Kita meet these people looking for love and peace and we make bad choices. We think these people will be like us and the backgrounds don’t match. We work hard and we shouldn’t have to. Love should be easy. Like between me and my girlfriend, Cherie.

It should just flow. I know I sound like a hypocrite now, but bear with me. This is phicklephilly. I have an amazing girlfriend but she’s absent. I love that but I enjoy the company of all of these other women. How can I say no to a 21 year old smoking hot Asian baby?

I’m not doing anything wrong. Cherie and I have no contract. If she found out about this she would be broken hearted and dump me for sure, but that’s not happening. I have compartmentalized my life. Some of my readers will disagree with this move but hear me out.

No one is being hurt. I love Cherie. When I walk down the street with her I think WIFE. I shouldn’t have to sell this to any of you. I’m loyal to her. But my heart is enormous and I get my energy from people.

I love to be alone and am one of the few that understands that. Most people can’t do that. I’ve always been able to disappear into my comic books, music, and art alone and be completely happy.

My father used to say that a man that could sit in a room by himself was a man that was truly at peace.

I’d like to think that he could do that. He used to go to the basement and listen to his music and read his books and vanish into that. I know he was a tortured soul that could never get his head around what was wrong with him, but he tried to find solace in his alone time.

I know it.

I get my energy from people but my alone time is where I recharge Charles to be that guy you love hanging out with. Performance comes at a price. Do you really think I could do that at the level I could do them as a million dollar producer everywhere I go?

No. That shit comes from low self esteem and a need to combat your depression and anxiety so that you can go forward in your life. You feel worthless for many years in your life. More than most. Your siblings don’t understand. There’s no way they can see the world of pain you live in. It doesn’t exist in their world. But in your life you are paralyzed and in pain all of the time. Your life is a dark sphere of sadness and fear.

All you want is for someone pretty girl to talk to you. You draw pictures they might like. You pick up the guitar hoping to express your pain in music instead of violence. Your temper is bad when you’re young. Because you’re pissed off at your situation at being a victim your whole childhood. But you don’t offend like the bullies in your life. That’s the boys in the neighborhood. That comes at the end of your father’s words and hand. You feel the searing pain of a prison you can’t escape from. You can never escape. But someday you will. You will walk out of that shithole.

You learned a lot in the shadow of your sadness. But with no drugs and no therapy, you fixed yourself. You cobbled together the best Frankenstein you could with what you had left.

You’re a sunny person. You meet other sunny people in your life. You embrace them.

The sunniest person you’ve recently met is little Kita.

She’s beautiful. Fragile. Good. Kind. You embrace her and just want to be near her.

You’re old motherfucker. You’re 55. She’s 21, you pig.

She keeps coming to you. Spending hours at the salon. She drinks your advice. You’ve taken her out to dinner.

Yet you resist.

She’s a confused young girl. Just off a three year dress rehearsal with a foolish boy who needs to grow up, and then rebounding into another blue collar loser.

Kita tells me about her time with Steve.

It’s awful.

Who is raising these new minor asshole boys?

She sits in the salon telling me about their courtship. She would hang at his house and watch Netflix. His friends are always around and he loves working on cars and she sits around bored while he works on a car. He smells like a garage.

He never took her out. I can smell the failure here. Never took her on an actual date. No lunch. No dinner. No movies. Nothing.

What a loser.

She’s just sitting there as he works on his car.

He was just a rebound bad decision.

I’m saving her family from this loser asshole.

So young.

It’s the new now. These fools can send a message to lovely girls and get their attention after their relationships have failed with other dudes. All on some hollow, social media dating profile.

Vulnerable girl is so wounded she takes the bait. Here she comes. Then she tries to heal herself with you. You send out your best representative and off you go. Romance ensues. Then she gets to know you and you fuck it up because you’re a mess you poor boy.

You have the lovely perfect girlfriend that we all want and you take a shit on that because you’re a moron.

I’m appalled by this behavior and absolutely amazed that you would actually do that to a lovely gentle girl.

She’s so beautiful… how could you lose her?

But off you go with your destruction… thank you for making room for the big sharks to come in and spend time with this pretty baby. I stand back on my mountain and can’t believe my good fortune.

Steve… even at your young age I feel bad for you. Big old great white shark is about to snatch your baby seal from you.

You can’t even even see it coming you little boy… But Kita is going to Dave an Busters with me and I’m going to kiss her and eventually more. Sorry dude. That’s the universe unfolding as it should.

To the victors go the spoils.

 

It’s Wednesday and I miss Cherie, but I miss Kita too. I love Cherie. I do. But I think about my time with Kita. Hate me if you want, but I love Cherie. She rocks and she’s the girl I want to end with. But come on…Kita is hot as hell. I can’t resist her. Little Asian baby that could destroy my life. Who wouldn’t want that? I’m so torn.

I love Cherie. I would marry her. She’s absolutely amazing.

Then there’s Kita.

I want Kita

I’m so fickle.

 

 

 

Kita – Chapter 22 – The Rising Tide – Part 2

“Just take some time for yourself. Befriend time. Because it takes time to heal.”

She hung out at the salon for three hours today! I love having her here. She’s such a pleasure to chat with and spend time with. She tells me how grateful she is that she has someone that can help her get through this mess.

“I hate men.”

“Excuse me?”

“I hate boys.”

“That’s better.”

“All of these boys are just awful!”

“Maybe this is the time for you to take a break from dating and just work on yourself and try to heal. Then when the pain passes, you’ll be ready to commit to a meaningful relationship with someone who’ll treat you with love and respect.”

“You’re right.”

“Just take some time for yourself. Befriend time. Because it takes time to heal.”

“Thank you. Hey, why don’t you ever send anyone into Room 5?”

“Go look.”

“I can go in there?”

“Yea.”

Kita walks over and opens the door. “Hey, there’s no tanning bed in here! What’s it for?”

“We were going to buy an additional stand up unit and put it in there but we found we didn’t really need it. So now it’s just storage for the most part.”

“Hey, what’s this?”

“What’s what?”

“C’mere.”

I walk around the counter and head over to room 5. “What’s…?”

“Close the door.”

I gotta watch the front.”

“This won’t take long.”

Then Kita came close to me and we kissed. I gently held her lovely face in my hands and kissed her ripe lips. Then, again. And again. She then hugged my tightly.

“You better go.”

I’m always a little shell shocked when I kiss this eastern beauty. I’m totally falling for her. I quickly get back to the counter and regain some of my composure. Some customers walk in and they’re none the wiser. Kita steps out of 5 smiling slyly, and quietly closing the door behind her. She pads across the floor like a cat and sits in the waiting area.

I like these little kissing sessions we’ve shared. This is a virtuous woman that’s only been intimate with one dude and he’s history. The new guy’s messing up already and will probably screw up this once in a lifetime chance to be with this beautiful little chick. So the old lion will just lie quietly in the tall grass and wait for this little gazelle to get too close one day. But she’s a confused young girl who needs a mentor right now, not another predator.

I’m extremely patient.

Kita stays until closing just chatting away with me. She’s been here for three hours!

“Wanna come to Honeygrow with me?”

“Of course, Kita.”

We lock up and head over to the restaurant. Honeygrow is about thinking differently when it comes to their approach, their style + their people. Founded by Justin Rosenberg in Philadelphia in 2012, Honeygrow brings people together over the highest quality, wholesome, simple foods. As a newly converted proponent of a plant-based diet and tired of the mediocrity in both food and experiences presented by many of the older + emerging fast dining options, Justin decided to leave the cubicle world, train in a fine-dining kitchen, and pursue a life that spoke to his passion: Creating awesome things through the lens of nourishing foods. People love Honeygrow in this city. The place is always mobbed during the day. This is where the young people of this city eat now. MacDonald’s Wendy’s, Taco Bell and Burger King are still around and churning out the hit’s but the healthy minded urban professional eat at places like this now. Hip City Vedge, Snap Kitchen, and Sweet Green are just some of the new cool, healthy places to grab a bite in Philly.

The city is changing and I’m getting older. But all these pretty girls that roll in and out of my life all stay the same age!

Kita is chattering on about how she’s so confused about Steve’s behavior. I feel it won’t be long for him. Poor fool has no idea what he’s passing up. To have the virtuous, clean love of this gorgeous, fit lady and eventually have the honor to make love with her. Idiot! He’s blowing it! He’s causing drama and problems where none were there before. I’ll just be here for her and listen.

We munch our salads and I realize this is the first time I’ve ever been in one of these places. It’s pretty nice! I should eat better.

Kita glances about quickly and takes my hand. Looking me in the eyes she says softly; “Thank you… for everything!”

I smile back gazing into her lovely almond eyes. “Of course, my dear.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

 

Kita – Chapter 21 – The Rising Tide – Part 1

I was working my usual Sunday at the salon. It was totally dead that day. Probably less than a dozen people came in the whole time we were open. But around 2pm the ‘ray of sunshine’ came strolling in.

She’s obviously distressed about something. I think I can guess what it is. It’s either ex-boyfriend, JR or new clown Steve.

I am correct on both counts. She’s going on about how Steve is being an ass. He’s saying things like how he needs to take a step back from Kita because she’s not over JR yet. These young guys nowadays are so insecure. He’s creating problems where there aren’t any. This dude needs to chill out.

I do learn some new things about Kita. Her first love was a kid back when she was around 16. They got serious and fooled around a little bit but she wasn’t ready to have her V card punched yet. (Always good to avoid those pesky statutory rape laws!)

That relationship lasted only 6 months. Her heart was broken. She was really sad and wasn’t eating. Her mother was really worried about her. Kita loves passionately and when it ends she’s devastated. I’ve been there.

Her mom put her on Escitalopram to combat her depression. She’s still on it today. I don’t know how I feel about that but if it helps keep Kita healthy, it’s none of my business. I’ll do some research about the drug.

Anyway, then she met JR and fell deeply in love with him. I think they were together for over six months before she had sex for the very first time. JR relieved her of her virginity and she was hooked. She remained happily in a relationship with him until recently. Most of this year has spent with them fighting, breaking up, getting back together and then drifting further apart. Now it’s over and although he may have moved on, she hasn’t.

Sure, she’s seeing Steve but has made it clear she’s not over her ex and needs time to heal. Initially he said he was fine with it. She also made it clear that there would absolutely not be any sexual activity.

I love Kita’s virtue.

She’s also made it clear that they’re not an item. They’re not in a relationship. She just needs time to heal and move forward with her life.

Things were going okay for awhile, until last weekend. He said something about being mad at his friend about something and he wouldn’t share it with her. Which is fine but he started acting weird the whole weekend. It was if he’d been able to send out his best representative and maintain that character for a month or so. Then his true self emerged and he started being mean to Kita. He would ignore her, and just be moody and down right mean.

Of course she’s telling me all of this drama and it’s just exhausting for me. But I really care about Kita and I’m happy when she’s blowing up my phone about this guy. Normally I would hate it, but she’s such a lovely babe, I just love chatting with her and try to help her with my advice.

 

 

 

Kita – Chapter 16 – First Date – Part 4

The food comes and it’s amazing. I share some of my chicken with her because she says she loves chicken. I like sharing my food with her. There’s something intimate about that.

We discuss her ex a bit more. I make it clear to her why shouldn’t text him or reach out in any way. He doesn’t deserve it after the way he treated this little flower. We also discuss the new guy that’s she’s been dating, Steve. I can tell she knows he’s nice but the indelible stain of JR is still on her heart. She again says that they’re in no way an item. I like that. This poor girl’s in a vulnerable state of mind. But I must keep my black wings tucked for now.

She’s excited to see her younger sister Jina on Saturday. She’s on the rowing team at her school and Kita is going to see her race on the Schuylkill River. She and her sister are both very close.

After dinner I tell her that we must get the flight of gelato. She agrees, and we check the menu and decide on what flavors we want to sample. The flight is a line of six long spoons and each one has a dollop of deliciousness on it.

We settle on the following: Pistachio, (of course!) Caffe, Cannolo, Fondente, Bacio, and Tiramisu. All amazing. I thought they were just going to bring out just the one plate and we’d share but our server rolls up with TWO plates of six spoons.

“Oh my gosh… I have to take a picture of this!” squeals Kita.

We take our forks and start to pick at each one. I love food like this. Just small portions, and each one has it’s own creamy unique flavor. Each mouthful makes you feel different than the one before. Like a Beatles album. This is clearly the encore to a wonderful meal with a beautiful young lady.

After dessert the bill comes and she wants to help. I love that she even asked. If you’ve been reading this blog you’ll know that I’ve been on dozens of dates and many of these women don’t even offer. I have no intention of letting Kita pay. I insist because I’m the one who asked her out to dinner and she’s the poor, raman noodle eating college sophomore. That, and the fact that she’s a young, smoking hot baby.

Since I get the hookup there, the bill was only $60! Kita doesn’t drink, so that right there is a huge savings. Drinks can easily add $40 to your bill. Kita doesn’t know it but she’ll never have to pay when she’s out with me. I’m just honored to be in the presence of this girl. She could hang out with whoever she wants at her age, but tonight she chose me and I’m going to do whatever’s necessary to please her.

The best part up to this moment is when we were talking about next time. Next time. I’ve been in sales my whole life. Any good salesman knows that when you get the first meeting you always set up the second meeting before you leave. A, B, C… Always Be Closing! I don’t set a specific date for our next foray into food, but I do discuss how great the noodles and pot stickers are at Dan Dan over on 16th street. Plus, my buddy Norm will give us the hookup.

We gather our coats and thank everyone for everything and tell them how wonderful the entire experience has been. The general manager even came by to make sure we were happy. This could be my new go-to spot to romance ladies.

We get outside and we can feel the snap in the air of the October evening.

“Ooohh… I miss Florida!”

She calls for an Uber and we walk down to 16th street to catch it.

“Thank you so much for a lovely evening, Charles.”

We hug and I can smell the jasmine in her hair.

“Wait…” She takes my face in her tender hands. “Come closer.”

That’s the moment she kissed me on the lips. They are full and warm against mine. This takes me by surprise and my heart skips a beat or two. It’s not a sexual kiss. Just a firm thankful, pressing kiss and then slow release.

“Thank you, Charles.” Her lovely almond eyes glisten in the evening light. Her mouth curves into a mischievous grin. She seems to be enjoying the look of mute awe on my startled face.”

“See ya!”

She hops in the car and she’s off.

I’m stunned beyond words. Dopamine has dropped and the euphoria takes my spirit. I turn and do the slow motion Reservoir Dogs walk down 16th street as I light a cig and pull deeply upon it.

Wow. Just…Wow.

I text her. “Had a great time tonight! Text me when you get home safe.”

Fifteen minutes later I’m home in my chair.

“Thanks so much for dinner, Charles!!!! It was awesome and super good!! (Emoji with little hearts for eyes) I just made it back!”

I smile and take a sip of wine. Maiden voyage has been a success. The universe is unfolding as it should.