Be Instantly Irresistible With These 10 Body Language Tips

For every occasion, there’s always this one individual who seems to captivate everyone. Her smile lights up the room, people gather to talk to her, and you can’t help but be drawn to her. She may not be the prettiest person at the event, but something about her feels exciting and inviting.

Who is she? How is she able to appear so likeable to both men and women?

The answer is not in her choice of clothing or her witty remarks (although those are important, too). Her allure comes from her body language. Want to capture the audience the next time you walk into a party? Practice these 10 tips and you’ll be on your way to becoming instantly irresistible.

1. Have an open and relaxed posture.

Whether you’re standing, sitting, or walking, having the right posture not only makes you look charming, it also helps you to appear taller. If you’ve been slouching for a long time, there are plenty of easy exercises to fix your stance. It also helps to observe yourself using a full-length mirror. Sit, walk, and stand in front of it for about 5-10 minutes each day until you have the correct posture. This means:

  • Head straight and relaxed
  • Shoulders back
  • Abdomen in
  • Knees slightly bent

Once you have mastered good posture, you’ll find that you feel more comfortable and confident when facing people.

2. Smile with your eyes.

Your smile is one of your most potent weapons to instantly make you likeable. A genuine smile is supposed to reach your eyes, creating tiny crinkles that light up your face. This suggests that you are truly happy, and nothing is more attractive than a person who smiles like they mean it. According to research, smiling also alleviates stress and can influence your level of success.

Believe it or not, you can enhance your smile simply by practicing it every day! Face a mirror, take a deep breath, hold it, and slowly exhale before smiling. You’ll notice that you feel more relaxed and your smile looks genuine. Try this a couple more times until you feel confident!

3. Subtly mirror tiny movements.

Mirroring is a body language technique that successful people use to gain rapport. When done right, it should make you more likeable without much effort. It’s part of our psychology to respond positively to individuals who are like us. In fact, a baby’s body functions (like its heartbeat) sync with the mother even before birth.

Good mirroring begins by first observing the other person’s movements. Is he leaning forward? Crossing his legs? Nodding? Reflect these actions with your own body to quickly develop a bond of trust. This method has been proven numerous times in different experiments. So at your next party, watch people closely. Mirror their movements to connect better with any person in the room.

4. Use a quick touch on the forearm or shoulder.

Don’t underestimate the power of a quick pat on the back or a friendly touch on the arm. Unlike words, these are universally understood and can convey more meaning. For example, if you really like a person, you may lightly touch their arm during a conversation. Similar to mirroring, this builds rapport with people you meet. Remember not to overdo this though! Just a light tap is enough — never linger!

5. Maintain good eye contact.

There’s no doubt that making eye contact is one of the most powerful body language arsenals in your book. However, doing it wrong will make you look creepy. Combine this with tip #2: smile while making eye contact to instantly make yourself irresistible. Ten seconds is a safe time limit before looking elsewhere. Otherwise, you will trigger a person’s defense mechanism and make them feel uncomfortable.

6. Turn your body towards the person.

Also known as the “big baby pivot,” this involves turning your entire body towards another person. This body language trick got its name from the way most folks turn their attention to a baby. When being introduced to someone, make sure to give your undivided attention by pivoting your body towards them. This delivers the message that they’re special and you’re interested in them. True interest in another person makes you super irresistible in return!

7. Use open hand gestures.

The handshake that we practice today was, in fact, an early custom to prove that you’re not hiding any weapons. That’s why we have suspicions when people don’t show their hands. With this in mind, use gestures to make you the most memorable person in the room.

When conversing or speaking to a crowd, use certain hand gestures to create an impact. Here are a few:

  • Use your fingers when listing points
  • A solid fist means you’re determined
  • Make a sweeping motion to mean “everything”
  • Bring hands to your chest when talking about a personal experience

Consider your audience when using hand gestures. Remember: one sign could mean a world of difference in another culture, so use with caution!

8. Pause for a few seconds.

This is a subtle yet very effective part of your body language. You can implement quick pauses during conversations or speeches when:

  • You’re asked a difficult or personal question (this gives you enough time to think of a good answer)
  • You want to build a dramatic effect (pausing between statements is a sign that you’re about to deliver big news)
  • You want to create an air of mystery (particularly when coupled with a small smile)

Pausing is also great when used just before you smile. It shows that you’re not someone who gives it away so easily.

9. Nod to show confidence in opinion.

According to one study, nodding doesn’t necessarily mean that you agree with something. Rather, this simple action strengthens an already existing opinion. In a gathering for instance, nodding your head to the speaker reinforces whatever he or she is saying. This creates a connection between you two — even if you don’t really agree with everything they say. It’s also a sign that shows you’re paying attention.

10. Avoid fidgeting.

Feeling nervous during an important event? Need to calm your nerves before meeting with clients? If you want to be instantly irresistible, one of the things you should avoid is looking restless. If you have the habit of fiddling with your fingers when worried, it could signal to others that you’re insecure. Project an appealing aura by standing tall yet relaxed.

If you’re still feeling anxious, be sure to bring something familiar with you, like your favorite pen or necklace. These are usually called “comfort objects.” According to experts, carrying something you associate with good memories will help reduce anxiety. Look at it or hold it in your hand for a few seconds to remind you that everything’s going to be okay. Then, proceed to be your best, irresistible self!


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5 Weird Things Men Want In A Woman, According To Science

Who knew!?

What do men want? It’s a mystery — and will most likely remain a mystery. But that hasn’t stopped science from trying to discover the answer to this human attraction riddle.

On the one hand, every man has his own personal preferences. Qualities and traits that are most visually and sexually appealing to one man may not be considered as attractive to another.

However, research has found that there is one thing that’s common for many men: they tend to trust their first impressions, and those initial moments have a great impact their level of attraction to individual women.

Of course, there are women who master the art of making a good first impression with little to no effort, while some have to work a little bit harder.

To help you understand what guys want, here are 5 things science says men find particularly attractive in women.

1. Wearing very specific kinds of makeup

Some men claim that they prefer women without makeup because they look natural. But according to a survey conducted by the online dating Zoosk, out of 1,200 women who wore eye makeup in their profile photo, 139 were more likely to receive messages from men. Men were also more likely to want to meet a woman if she’s wearing lipstick in her profile photo.

However, women who tend to wear “darker” types of makeup were less likely to get asked out. So, even if men say they prefer women who looked “natural,” that means you can wear “natural”-looking makeup and still attract men. Also, men, it’s OK to admit that your girl looks good with the winged eyeliner and red lipstick.

2. Possessing the right waist-to-hip ratio

This preference has less to do with attractiveness and more on health and fertility.

“Evidence also shows that waist-to-hip ratio is a strong indicator of a woman’s estrogen levels, risk of obesity, and susceptibility to major disease such as diabetes, ovarian cancer, and heart disease,” says the article.

3. Wearing the color red

Red is the color of passion. So, it’s no wonder that men are so attracted to it.

In a study by psychologists from the University of Rochester, men were shown photos of different women in framed borders of either red or white and were asked how pretty they found the women.

Then they were shown the same photo with the women wearing either red or blue and asked how much money they would spend on a date with that woman. The women framed in red or wearing red were more likely to be found sexy and attractive, and the men more likely wanted to spend money on a date.

4. Having a kind attitude

A nice attitude always goes a long way.

In a study from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, researchers found that a woman’s responsiveness to men’s needs and wants increased their attractiveness to men.

5. Speaking in a higher-pitched voice

Studies have shown that women tend to find deeper-voiced men attractive.

And the opposite is typically true for men, as some believe “[higher] voices signal reproductive fitness, femininity, and smaller body size.”

What do you think, ladies? Do you meet any of these qualities?


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6 Signs Someone Is In Love With You, Based On Body Language Alone

The early stages of a romantic relationship holds tons of excitement and potential energy; you’re learning new things about your new partner, settling into new routines, and figuring out your feelings. At a certain point, though, you’ll probably be ready to say those three magic words, but you’re nervous about uttering them first for fear that you won’t hear them in return, or—worse—that your partner won’t share your sentiment. Because picking up on signs someone is in love with you isn’t a science or easy to do with any semblance of confidence, the act of saying it can feel like a game of chicken—but that doesn’t have to be the case.

Relationship coach and founder of Spark Matchmaking Michelle Fraley says learning to read your partner’s body language can be key for deciphering whether they’ve fallen for you. “Nonverbals are a big part of healthy and loving communication,” she says. Below are six body-language signs someone is in love with you, even if they have yet to say it.

Look out for these 6 body language signs someone is in love with you, regardless of whether they’ve said the words.

1. Proximity

If someone is in love, they’ll close the gap between you as often as they can. According to Fraley, you’ll want to consider the following four questions:

  • Do they make an effort to get closer to me?
  • Do they inch closer to me while seated?
  • Do they place objects, like their drink or phone, in your physical space?
  • Do they lean in closer when talking, or put their body (arms and legs) near your physical body?

If you answered yes to any or several of the above questions, it’s clear this person has a desire to be physically close. To be a love signal, this proximity should feel comfortable and easy, not necessarily charged, says clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD. “When someone is falling in love, they’ll often lean in toward their partner in a way that feels different from being sexually interested,” she says. “It’s a leaning-in that says, ‘I enjoy you. I want to be close to you.’”

2. Touch

Think about it: You rarely touch people you don’t have feelings of affection for—whether it’s a kiss from a partner, a hug from your mom or a pat on the back from your best friend. Watch for the potentially unnecessary use of touch, because it’s one of the signs someone is in love with you. “Do they make an effort to touch you?” asks Fraley. “Do they brush up against you, or touch your arm or hand when talking? If your partner is craving your physical touch, that is another indication they are in love.”

3. Attention

Ever feel unsure as to whether your date is actually paying attention to your words? Attentiveness is a huge sign someone is falling in love; they’re enthralled, says Fraley. “Love often brings with it tunnel vision,” she says. So if it seems your partner is able to focus exclusively on you and not get overly distracted by other stimuli, it’s a good sign.

And, bonus, Fraley adds that full attention is not only a sign of love, but of respect, too.

4. Eye contact

Eye contact is so intense that researchers have even used it to trigger feelings of love. So, if your partner is looking deeply and comfortably into your eyes, it communicates a lot about their desire. “Eye contact is an intimate and vulnerable act, so intense eye contact can be very meaningful,” says Fraley. “Deep eye contact, or holding your gaze for at least four seconds, may indicate feelings of love.”

5. Openness

You may catch this gesture (or lack thereof) while standing, sitting, or after a tense discussion about your relationship. “Crossed arms often indicate that someone is closed off to feeling loved or giving love,” says Dr. Manly. “When someone is ready to love and be loved, they’ll be open in their heart space rather than close off.” You’ll see a much more relaxed stance as one of the signs someone is in love with you.

6. Protective gestures

Dr. Manly says it’s common for people in love to feel highly protective of the person they care for. This may take the form of gestures or of lending extra help. “When we love someone, we care about their safety,” she says. “A person who is falling in love will often take great care to protect [the person they love], whether it’s by opening doors, walking street side, or putting an arm out in front at a crosswalk.” If they seem to be extending an extra hand without thinking twice, they might be falling in love. And if a person’s actions make you feel loved and cared for, you’re likely in clear to take the leap and say those three words without fear of being left hanging.


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Boyfriend ‘Shames’ Girlfriend Into Shaving Legs & Doesn’t See What He Did Wrong

Personally, I like a little floss on the thighs…

Believe it or not, gentlemen, women aren’t violating “female laws” by not shaving their bodies so they are as smooth as a wet dolphin. Body hair, along with everything else related to a woman’s physique, is a personal choice. While it’s perfectly ok to have a preference, there is no point at which it is ok to make a woman feel obligated to change her physical appearance.

However, one young man on Reddit doesn’t see how telling his girlfriend “playfully” that she should shave her legs is wrong.

  • “My girlfriend of two years isn’t exactly the hippie … ‘my hairy body is beautiful’ type,” he began explaining.

    “But she definitely never developed the habit of shaving consistently. She says it takes a long time (she’s very tall so that makes sense for her legs), her skin is sensitive so she’s prone to bad razor burn, and she always manages to nick herself and bleed a lot. She pretty much only shaves when the hair is physically irritating her skin.”

  • While he says he doesn’t have a problem with it and loves her for who she is, he has a preference for smooth skin because: “Who wouldn’t, right?”

    Earlier in the evening the couple was showering together and she mentioned how she thought it was time to shave her underarms.

    “She said the hair was starting to get on her nerves and she wanted it gone. Once she finished that up, she turned to her legs and said something along the lines of ‘I think these are gonna be up next soon. That hair is starting to bother me too.'”

  • According to the boyfriend, her hair was long — emphasis on the long.

    “…even the lightness of the strands couldn’t cover up how much was there.,” he wrote. “It was bad. So, a bit harshly and sarcastically I will admit, I said ‘yeah, you think it’s time to shave your legs? How long has it been?’ She looked at me for a moment then started getting weepy-eyed, so I asked her what the deal was and she said ‘I thought it didn’t bother you that I don’t shave. It hasn’t been an issue this whole relationship and now I feel like I’m being shamed.’”

  • At this point the boyfriend tried to defend himself and say that he he doesn’t care but does prefer touching smooth legs and underarms.

    “She remained pretty quiet, so I started trying to coax her out of the shower so we could finish up and be done. She refused, saying that she was gonna go ahead and shave her legs. I just left the bathroom. A WHOLE [EXPLETITIVE] HALF HOUR later she emerged, presented her smooth legs to me, and has been sitting quietly since then.”

  • Now the boyfriend is frustrated at his girlfriend’s reaction.

    “I’m frustrated that she’s acting mad at me for agreeing that she should do something she already said she wanted to do, and I just have to know if I should feel bad and say sorry or if I should just let her get her moping out then move on.”

  • A lot of filks had the same question: Is this dude for real?

    “Every time I read stories like this I’m amazed at how men who are supposed to be in love with their girlfriends still manage to prioritize their preference for a certain body type or certain grooming habits over their girlfriend’s own personal preferences and physical comfort,” wrote one user, who essentially read him for filth. “Even if you don’t care about the trouble and pain shaving causes her, have you ever stopped to think that because her legs grow hair means it’s supposed to be there? That it’s natural? That you shouldn’t be such a spineless idiot and try to make her think that it’s gross to have hair on her body?”

  • Others made their opinion know by pointing out the hypocrisy of his statements in the funniest way. possible.

    “‘I don’t mind your penis BUUUUT I prefer bigger ones,'” one use joking wrote. “‘Oh hey why are you ‘acting’ mad? I’m entitled to have a preference!’”


    Ultimately the lesson this guy should take away from this? Keep your bodily comments to yourself.


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Body Language Attraction – Touchy Feely Flirting

Touchy feely flirting can seem ridiculous, but in reality, you can use the secret of body language attraction and seduce someone into liking you in no time if you just know how to touch a person the right way, at the right time.

After reading the introduction, you may have figured how you can use body language attraction and build an emotional connection using touchy feely flirting.

If you just know how to tune your body language and send the right signal, you can flirt and seduce someone into liking you in no time.

The art of touchy feely flirting

Here are four points that can make all the difference if you want to flirt and make someone like you just by flirting with them and touching them at the right time.

Body language attraction and responses

This is as simple as it gets. Keep a keen eye on the body language of your date.

After you start touching your date occasionally, is your potential mate leaning in closer or sitting down in such a manner that both your feet are almost next to each other?

When your date leans in to talk from across a table, do their hands stretch out a little further than necessary?

Or if you’re at a bar counter, and you slide towards them to let others pass, does your date place their hands on you?

If your date is purring inside because of your body language attraction, they can’t help but involuntarily try getting more body contact from you.

If you see that happening, give yourself a pat on the back. You’re going great guns. If it’s not happening, ease up the frequency of touching.

How often should attract using body language?

It’s easy to get carried away while playing touchy feely. But don’t overdo yourself. Don’t let a simple positive response to touch take you all the way to the petting zoo.

Both of you may be touchy feely flirting discreetly, without actually acknowledging it. If you overdo it, you could bring things to a grinding uncomfortable halt.  Guys, don’t go rubbing the arms while flirting for the first time. And girls, don’t ever pinch a guy, that’s just annoyingly kiddish. As the date progresses, try stepping into each other’s boundaries by moving closer, instead of increasing the frequency of petting.

And you’d know if you can move in closer by the way your date responds to you. So watch out for the signs and keep the frequency of petting discreet.

Sure signs of body language attraction

Touchy feely flirting can be so much fun, and that’s not just for you. Your date would love it too! But how do know if your date is having a great time feeling you up? Well, there are a few signs that are just way too hard to miss. If your date’s enjoying the attention, it would only be a matter of time before they start touching you back. And that’s when you know you’re spot on.

Still confused? More signs include a hand on your knee, arm or shoulder for more than a second or two, which is definitely more than a casual touch. If someone positions himself or herself right behind you so that they have to reach around you to get something, that’s a sure signal. Let’s face it, if your date found you repulsive, they would find another route to get what they wanted, instead of sliding their palm across your sides, wouldn’t they?

Mutual moves in body language attraction

In addition to touching, watch for someone who follows your lead. If you lean into talk, does she lean towards you or away? If you touch him on the arm, how does he respond?

When most people really like someone, they will signal with body language, even if they are not yet comfortable with touching. And don’t give up. Some people are bad at flirting. But you can always know they like you if they seem to pay attention to you. So watch out for mutual moves.

Even if it takes time for your date to warm up, with a keen eye, you’d be able to make out a few key changes in the behavior. You will start to recognize their touchy feely flirting whether it is through touching, body language or actions.

The final word in body language attraction

All it takes to impress a hot date is an accidental touch that’s premeditated, planned and executed with grace and finesse. Remember to keep a keen eye for mutual signs and make sure you take things further, one step at a time, without overdoing it even once.

Flirting by accidental touch using the attraction of body language is like stacking up a pack of cards one on top of the other. You need to build the attraction and the tension carefully. On the other hand, one wrong move is all it takes to mess everything up, and look sleazy.

So plan your touchy feely flirting with class. You’d be much more confident to determine if that slow hand brush down your arm is a reciprocating move, or a move to push you out of their space.


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Don’t Have A Thigh Gap? You’d Be Surprised What Guys Think About That

I know women. They’ve definitely felt insecure about almost every body part they have. Maybe you’re not the thinnest girl. So, when I see pictures on the internet, TV, ads…etc. with #thighgap, it can be a little discouraging. We all know we should never compare ourselves to others, but it’s hard sometimes. We are each our toughest critic. The thing is, you’d be surprised to know what guys really think about your lack of thigh gap. So, don’t be too hard on your self, ladies!

Some guys don’t like thigh gaps.


Thigh gaps are dumb. Girls should have thick legs

A lot of guys don’t even notice thigh gaps.


Dear girls,
We don't care if you have a thigh gap. Half of us don't even pay attention to that.
All Men


They notice other things!


Ladies: guys worry more about the space between your ears than the space between your thighs.



Im a guy. I don't need a thigh gap girl. I need an eater, a reader, a lover. Screw society, just be yourself.


They LOVE confidence.


I want a girl who ain't worried about a thigh gap.
In fact, I like the way you don't give a shit about that.


The might make some weird comparisons.


Thigh gaps are weird. It's like having chicken legs.



Thigh gaps are for flamingos. 
Eat a cupcake,
 you'll be fine.


There are guys that pay attention…


Yup. Sometimes I even find too much of a thigh gap ugly. Fit girls don't have thigh gaps all the time, and their legs are freaking amazing.


But most of them are looking for what they like, not what they don’t like.


I won't date her because she doesn't have a thigh gap. 
Said no guy ever!


Guy’s think we’re crazy for obsessing about this.


I can't believe girls are trying to get thigh gaps. As a man, I love thick thighs!


Even if you don’t look like a Victoria’s Secret model, you are still definitely someone’s type.


I love girls with a little meat and natural curves. Think thighs, a little muffin top is Is so sexy. None of those boney skinny girls for this guy.



My girlfriend is a plus sized girl. I think she's WAY more sexy than any girl with a "thigh gap."


You know what guys do care about? Whether they can touch your thighs.


I like two thick thighs. I don't care if there is a thigh gap or not. I just don't like super bony legs I can cup my hands around.



Girls, We don't care if your thighs touch or not... We just want to be in between them.



I love legs, I dont care how thick the thighs are as long as you can wrap them around me while making love...



I need my woman's thighs to rub together so much they start a fire


There’s lots of love for girls who will never get that thigh gap.


Thick thighs save lives



Thigh gaps are overrated, give me a thick girl!


Final thoughts:


Personally, I don't care if any of you have a thigh gap or not. I look at eyes, smile, sense of humor, hair and of course -the girl's ability to love me, not sexually but physically

 There you have it, ladies!


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Understanding Body Language When Dating Women

You may think that this only accounts for a tiny fraction of communication and tiny compared to words, but you would be very wrong. Body language actually accounts for a staggering 55% of all communication while your actual ‘words’ account for only a staggering 7%!

If you were to see a beautiful woman sitting alone in a bar stroking the stem of her wine glass whilst her body was pointing towards you as she was looking over, would you know what this means? Would you go over and speak with her? Should you?

Reading Body Language is difficult at the beginning, but like all things, it gets easier with knowledge, practice and experience.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when attempting to read body language is that they just look for 1 sign and act on it; but this is incorrect. You need to look for groups of signals (clusters) that all compliment and reflect each other. Just because your date is sat opposite you with her arms crossed, it does not mean that she is bored, closed, disagrees with what you are saying or does not like you! She could just be cold!

OK, now to cover the main things that you need to both look for and change about yourself to make you more appealing to women

l. Eye Contact

Good eye contact is one of the most powerful weapons you have in your arsenal.

You can literally stir powerful sexual tension or emotions in a woman just with eye contact. I know this sounds hard to believe, but non-verbal communication is one of the most powerful forms of communication. When you see a woman that you like, simply look at her with strong eye contact and body language, make it clear that you are looking at her and make sure that she knows it. From doing this, you know whether a woman is interested in at least having a brief conversation with you or not by her body language and reaction. From here, you can move further in the interaction by going over to say hello to her.

There is also a form of non-verbal communication called ‘triangular gazing’ which is when looking at a woman, you glance at her left eye, followed by her right eye, followed by her mouth (or vice versa, R,L,M.) This is a very sexual message that you are giving off and indicates both confidence and sexuality, she can’t help but feel the sexual tension, it comes from that instinctual part of our brain.

2. Body position

In order to not come across as too dominating to a woman, it is important not to approach her with completely straight/square on body language; animals do this when they are about to attack.

Also, If she is constantly turning her body to an angle, she is in effect, turning her interest away from you, take the hint and adapt and overcome. I always prefer to almost walk past a woman before talking to her, she will read from your body language that you are about to continue walking at any second and so will respond to you in a positive way.

3. Arms and legs

The arms and legs are a very powerful reading tool when it comes to body language. Have you ever noticed when someone is nervous how they constantly move their arms, hands, legs and feet as if trying to find somewhere suitable or comfortable to put them? This is fidgeting, it only happens when someone feels uncomfortable. Think about it, are you twitching and fidgeting right now whilst reading this? No, of course not, your in a relaxed and comfortable position.

What to do: Keep your arms to the side of your body in a relaxed manner or to the front of your body, hands together at 90 degree angles. When in this position, use your hands to really emphasize important points and also use for gentle, but quick touches on her arm to build rapport; just don’t overdo it.

4. Weight distribution

This is simple: when you are interested in someone, you will lean your body weight onto the front or leading foot. This is fine when talking with friends and family, but disastrous when talking with women who you like. It shows too much interest and neediness.

Instead, try to lean back and put your weight onto your back foot when she is talking. This shifts the power back into your favor and shows both confidence and also value on your behalf. You are in effect showing that you are not trying to pick up on her or putting in too much effort to win her affections.

5. Scratching and Grooming of Hair

This is where evolution comes in; scratching and grooming is a trait passed down to us through our genetic code by our prime ape ancestry, it’s pre programmed/hard-wired into our brains from birth.

The most common places where a woman will scratch herself is on the face if she finds you attractive. Scratching and grooming is more common in women than men, the tell tale sign is when a woman is constantly playing and touching her hair for no apparent reason when she is in close proximity with you. This is also revealing in women with short hair as they still seem to touch and play with their hair for no apparent reason.

6. Holding drink with both hands

The holding of a drink, jacket or any other object in front of the body or groin area is a huge tell tale sign of discomfort.

Both men and women tend to spend a good deal of the first date doing this until they properly open up to each other.

The item in front of you is actually a psychological block between you and the woman with whom you are speaking created as a sort of a shield of protection, to protect the infamous ‘male ego.’ The sooner you correct this, the better your interactions with women will go. Next time you are in an uncomfortable situation, particularly with a woman, notice how she will put her bag in between you and her.

7. Stroking of cylindrical objects / sliding in and out of a circular object

This is purely and simply sexual frustration in both men and women. Men: Slide their finger in and out of rings (as an example).

Women: Stroke the stem of their wine glass (as an example).

The points above cover some really basic body language which you should look to correct in yourself both during and after dates.


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Social Cues: 13 Ways to Recognize Subtle Signs People Give Away

Social cues are universal cues in many forms, learning to read them, while listening to a person’s words, will give you a better social perspective.

Social Cues: 13 Ways to Recognize Subtle Signs People Give Away

Human beings are very complex creatures. Often, what we say and what we mean and feel, aren’t always the same. Knowing how to read people’s social cues is an important component of finding happiness, being self-assured ,and having a high self-esteem. But, not everyone understands what social cues are or how important they are to your emotional well-being.

Social cues are the ways that people send messages nonverbal and verbal through their movements, facial expressions, or actions. Because each person communicates their feelings differently, if a person only looked for social cues alone, they might be lost in a sea of confusion.

13 important social cues you might be missing

There are some major cues, however, that can help you to react appropriately in social situations and settings. If you get these universal social cues, it might help you better succeed personally and professionally, or at a minimum, know when you are turning someone off or on.

  1. Back off.  Everyone knows the “close talker” except the close talker himself. In social situations, people need something called their “personal space.” It is a zone around us that we keep to distance ourselves appropriately from others.

Close talkers don’t understand the comfort zone and often cross the line. When someone approaches you and comes in too close to talk to you *or touches you* without you sending them the “go” sign, it can be a huge turnoff and have someone looking for an exit.

The sign that you have invaded someone’s personal bubble is that the person will typically try to back away from you. Or, try to evade the situation altogether.

Someone’s personal zone is about three feet, so getting any closer unless you are invited to do so, is not a socially comfortable thing. Being aware of other people’s social space can help you to be more accepted in social interactions.

#2 Tone of voice. The way that you move your voice up and down is a signal about how important what you are saying is. If someone is speaking loudly, or is very animated, what they are saying is highly important to them and should be paid attention to.

When you are in a heated conversation with your mate or boss, and they stress certain phrases, or have a lot of variation in the tone of their voice, it is imperative that you listen. What they are saying is meant to be heard and followed. What they are saying is not as important as the way that they are saying it.

That is why if someone says “I’m not mad” when yelling their words and their social cues don’t coincide, I would go with the assumption that if they weren’t angry, they wouldn’t be so loud about it. Higher pitches typically mean that a person is excited, while lower means that they are more serious about what they are saying.

#3 Texting and emailing. A new phenomenon of the past several decades is text and email messages. I would argue that these forms of communication have caused more wars than anything else in the history of communication.

Why? It is because we read messages from the perspective we have about a situation or person. When someone sends you a message, try to take your own assumptions out of it and read it exactly as written to gain a better understanding of what it really says.

“What are you doing today?” could be read as “Are you being lazy again?” to someone who is already feeling bad about how involved they have been when it really might be asking nothing more than “what you are doing?”

Social cues are incredibly hard to decipher through text or written messages. If you want to be heard and understood, the best way to be so is by verbally talking to someone or picking up the phone.

#4 Looking someone in the eye. Eye contact is one of the most critical social cues there is. When someone doesn’t look you in the eye, it can send a various number of signals. Typically, when someone doesn’t look you in the eye, it means that they are uncomfortable, guilty, feeling awkward, or that they have something to say that they aren’t saying.

If someone won’t look you in the eye when talking to you, then the social cue they are sending is that whatever communication you are having isn’t exactly on the up and up. There is something behind their lack of interaction that they are avoiding.

#5 Shifting around in their chair. If you are having a conversation with someone and they are fidgeting or shifting around in their seat, that is a social cue that they are either bored or that they are uncomfortable with what you are saying.

Shifting around in a chair is their way of telling you that they would rather be somewhere other than where they are. It is a nervous habit that some people have that says they are disinterested, have other things on their mind, or just don’t want to be where they are.

#6 Crossing your arms. When someone is crossing their arms while talking to you, they are guarding themselves against you and what you have to say. It is almost like a sign that your messages aren’t being heard or wanted.

A defensive move, if someone has crossed arms, you will often find yourself doing the same thing. It is a way of closing off a conversation that you aren’t agreeing with, or are trying not to have a conversation with a person that you don’t really want to have one with.

#7 The way someone dresses. We don’t just put our clothes on without thinking and feeling. Often, we find clothes that fit the mood we are in. Whether it is the color of the dress or its length, what we put on to wear is a huge social clue about who and what we are.

That is why there is such a thing as a power suit or a “night out” outfit. The clothes you wear send a message to those around you about what you want and who you are, whether you recognize it or not.

#8 Facial expressions. One social cue that is unmistakable and often uncontrollable, is the facial expression that we display to others. If you are upset, angered, or happy, it will almost always show in your face, even if you try to hide it.

The mood that you feel on the inside typically shows on the outside by the way that your face appears. One of the biggest indicators of social cues is the way a person expresses their emotions through facial expressions.

#9 Their smile. A smile is not just a smile, it is a social cue about how someone really feels about something. There is a true difference between a genuine smile and one that is forced; they are very different things.

If someone is only giving you a halfway smile, that isn’t showing that they are pleased. That is sending the message that they want you to think they are pleased, but they really aren’t. A genuine smile is something where the message is clear, something or someone has made a person happy.

#10 Checking their phone. If someone is checking their mobile device, that is a social cue that you are boring them or that they are disinterested in what you have to say. Don’t mistake it for being busy. If they can’t wait until you are done talking to focus on whatever is happening on their phone, the social cue sent is that the mobile device is way more important than you.

#11 They suddenly stop talking or communicating. If someone is suddenly silent or seems to drop out of the conversation, then the chances are good that you have said something offensive or that they don’t want to talk about the subject anymore. Shutting down communication is often a sign that someone wants to get end the conversation they are having.

#12 Mirroring what you do. If you notice social cues in someone else, it might be a good idea to check yourself. When someone crosses their arms or gives you a look of excitement, even if they don’t seem so, they might be mirroring your social cues to tell you that they are on board and listening.

Before you assume that they are sending you alternate signs, take a look at what you are showing them. They might just be mirroring your actions and cues.

#13 Verbal affirmation. When you are having a conversation with someone, and they suddenly chime in with one word, they are sending you the message that they are listening attentively. Don’t misunderstand it for stealing the show or being overpowering.

Sometimes just shouting out a phrase or word is their way of saying “you have my attention and I am actively listening and engaging.” Even if you think it is disruptive, it might not mean to be. So, temper your replies accordingly.

Sometimes listening to the social cues that someone is sending you is more important than the words coming from their mouths. Learning to read other people’s body language isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t come naturally to everyone.

If you understand these social cues and what they might be telling you, then you will probably have an easier time in social situations, take chances when you might not have, or back off when it appears that you are coming on too strong or making someone feel uncomfortable.

When in a conversation, or communicating with someone, it is important to listen to their words. And also what their body is telling you to get a good idea of what they really mean and feel on the inside. Then you’ll be a master of social cues.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Phicklephilly – Fat And Curvy Are Not The Same

In the last few years, it has become the so-called “polite” thing to call a fat person “curvy” so as to appear less harsh/make them feel sexier and more desired/appear to be accepting of anything other than a size 0.

And while politeness, skirting the issue, and trying to find a way to accept such a body shape is no bad thing, we need to stop lumping (excuse the pun) these people together with actual curvy girls. This is not a fat-shaming exercise; it’s simply an observation about the way we view body image. Curves imply arcs, parts of the body that wave in and out—not rolls of excess fat and skin, sagging over the bones it’s meant to be covering.

It’s bad enough that we have to contend with the fact that plus-size models are actually still below the average dress size of women in the country, but to lump all those not fitting one boyish, skinny frame as “curvy” is just obscene. You wouldn’t call a rectangle a square because it has the same number of sides, so why should you bundle together different types of women who are completely different just because their clothes are labeled above a certain number?

It may be harsh to say, but there’s no way a healthy naturally curvy girl wants to be thought of in the same bracket as someone who resembles the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man, or the Michelin Man… looking like their kneecaps will crumble under their own weight in a few years. Curvy is Amber Rose. (Pictured above) Curvy is no more Melissa McCarthy than it is Kate Moss any day of the week. So why is it easy for us to distinguish skinny from athletic, athletic from curvy, but not curvy from a more rounded figure to a clinically obese person?

If we want to accept all body types and people of all shapes and sizes, shouldn’t we first establish that there are actual major differences in body types? Forget the numbers, the labels, the scales, and everything else—just use your eyes. There’s a visible difference. This is fact. So let’s address it.

We may be years away from the fashion industry opening up to the possibility of shapes other than a straight, thin line, but we can all start to change our own attitudes today. Be real, and be honest for crying out loud.

Now this is CURVY …. And it is GLORIOUS.

Fucking Gorgeous!!!

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