Meeting people on dating apps has become the norm when it comes to finding love. Chances are, you and most of the people you know have gone on at least one first date with a match you swiped on. Although there’s no denying how much online dating has improved people’s access to nearby singles, it’s also made it trickier to identify folks who may not be compatible. Keeping an eye out for dating app profile red flags is the best way to avoid ending up in an uncomfortable or potentially dangerous situation. According to Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, you can’t always accurately judge someone based on their dating profile, but it’s important to trust your gut.
“A dating app profile can absolutely provide some information on a person,” Dr. Klapow tells Elite Daily. “However, they should never be considered the definitive source of a good or bad match. They can give you a gut response (good or bad), which may be accurate or inaccurate. If you’re lukewarm, it’s a reasonable idea to proceed with a phone call or video chat to clarify your feelings. That being said, if your gut response to their profile or communication style is negative, it’s time to move on.” Here are the tell-tale signs from someone’s dating profile that you probably won’t be compatible.
1. You Have Contradicting Morals Or Beliefs.
As you move through the online dating sphere, it’s important to remember that core values and beliefs aren’t universal. So, if someone’s profile suggests fundamental incompatibilities, this is enough of a reason to swipe left. “If there’s anything in the profile that repulses you, or if you see something that is fundamentally opposed to your morals, values, or beliefs,” Dr. Klapow recommends seeking out a different match.
2. They Come Across As Self-Absorbed.
Let’s be real: Online dating is inherently designed to reward those who can present themselves well, even if the representation is technically inaccurate. However, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. “If someone seems over-the-top to the point that they come across as self-absorbed, this is a red flag,” says Dr. Klapow. There’s nothing wrong with a profile that highlights someone’s accomplishments and positive attributes, but if it leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth, this could signal incompatibility.
3. Their Interests Concern You.
If you’re firmly against the Second Amendment, dating someone who’s a gun enthusiast could be problematic. Similarly, if recreational drug use is something you have a problem with, it may not be a good idea to date someone who experiments with substances. “Mystery can be attractive, but fear is not a good thing,” warns Klapow. “Although a bit of danger may seem interesting or fascinating, if their description of who they are or what they do scares you, don’t misinterpret that as attraction.”
4. Nothing About Them Entices You.
“If you have no interest in them or aren’t attracted to anything in their profile, don’t talk yourself into a date,” says Dr. Klapow. “They may be attractive, and even have objectively ‘good’ and ‘positive’ characteristics, but if you read the info, looked at the pictures, and still can’t find anything you’re drawn to, they probably aren’t a good match for you.” Even though it can be easy to let logic override your initial gut reaction, this isn’t always a good idea. Again, if you’re unsure, it might be worth having a conversation to see if your feelings change. However, if something about them makes you feel even the slightest bit uneasy, it’s probably best to keep swiping.
In the end, there is no fool-proof way to accurately judge someone purely based on their dating profile. Sure, dating profiles can provide helpful insight into who someone is, but sometimes, these depictions simply aren’t accurate. That’s why it’s important to be careful with who you decide to ultimately meet up with. And if do agree to a date, you should always meet in public until you’ve established a sense of trust.