13 signs he disrespects you and does not deserve you

If he is the right guy, he will treat you with respect. If he doesn’t he simply is not the guy for you.

Love is simply not enough to maintain a relationship – a foundation of mutual respect is equally, or perhaps, more important. A disrespectful spouse can disturb the healthy dynamics of a relationship. If he does not respect you, he does not deserve you. Remember those disrespectful relationships (the ones without respect) are never able to survive the test of time. Every couple has arguments and fights, but sorting the differences respectfully is the only way to save your relationship. If he disrespects you then the signs are always there.

What does respect mean in a relationship?

Respect in a relationship does not amount to subjugation of one partner by the other. It actually means admiring one another and understanding each other in such a way that differences of opinions do not disrupt the health of the relationship. Both the partners are able to appreciate one another’s perspective on life and do not impose anything on each other, because the relationship is characterized by mutual respect.

There are signs he disrespects you

Why do men disrespect women?

First, let us not assume that all men disrespect women, as that will be our biggest mistake and sometimes circumstances are such that men might unintentionally disrespect women. Now after this clarification, we can give a snippet of the reasons which prompt disrespectful behavior in a man towards a woman.

  • Those men who have issues of self-esteem and who think they are superior to others end up disrespecting females
  • Some may have suffered at the hands of a mother, ex-girlfriend or a lady in their lives, because of which they fail to respect other women
  • There are some men who might have never been in a relationship and do not genuinely know how to deal with women, so it seems as though they are disrespecting them

If you are in a relationship with a man who falls in any of these categories, then you must be aware of the signs of disrespect that your partner might exhibit, so that you can tackle the situation accordingly.

13 signs he disrespects you and does not deserve you

When your boyfriend/husband shows you respect, you will feel treasured, important and dignified. However, if your man disrespects you, then you will feel exactly the opposite. We give you 13 signs which will convince you that he does not respect you and definitely does not deserve you. It can be a suffocating experience to be with someone who is controlling in nature. In fact, a relationship marked with disrespect soon turns abusive. Once convinced, you can decide for yourself whether you want to keep swallowing your pride and continue the relationship or keep your dignity intact by walking out of the relationship.

1. You doubt your potential because of him

Instead of being confident in what you do or say, you keep doubting your potential. This is because your boyfriend or husband has instilled that doubt in you by disregarding your thoughts and opinions. You keep questioning your dreams, your future and your life all day long, which is a sign that your partner is not supportive and probably disrespects you.

2. He seems distracted when you talk to him

Whenever you get the opportunity to talk to him, you do so enthusiastically and expect him to pay attention to you. But if you often notice that he seems distracted when you talk to him and he hardly seems interested to hear your opinions, then it means he is failing to respect you. Getting your husband listen to you seems like a mammoth task because he clearly is not interested in you. This is downright disrespectful behavior.

There are signs he disrespects you

3. Your boyfriend does not keep his promises

A disrespectful man will not make any efforts to keep his promises to you and will disappoint you again and again. He will keep forgetting things you had told him to do, like calling you back when he is free or meeting you somewhere. All this is enough to give you the signal that you cannot depend on him and you are probably not that important in his life.

4. He makes fun of your professional goals and dreams

No matter how absurd and weird your dreams and profession are, your partner is supposed to encourage you. If your man is making fun of your career and goals in life, then he is being selfish and has no right to judge you. He is disrespecting you by not valuing your vocation.

5. You hardly have any personal space and time

At times, if he surprises you by visiting your workplace or when you are out with friends, it is okay. But if he does this way too often and keeps continuous tabs on you, then there is something definitely wrong with him. Your man might actually not respect you enough to trust you and give you your personal space and time. This is a sign he disrespects you.

6. He exhibits narcissistic tendencies

His desires, needs and wishes take top priority in his life and he is willing to do all in his power to ensure that his wants are fulfilled. The center of his universe is himself and he does not bother about how he behaves with you. Your partner admires himself and considers you to be inferior to him. Living with a narcissistic spouse can screw your happiness and peace in no time.

7. Your boyfriend does not apologize

When it comes to apologizing to you for his mistakes, he is absolutely stubborn. He does not admit his mistakes and probably starts blaming you for everything that is wrong. In order to avoid any criticism from your side, he will keep making lame excuses to convince you that he is not wrong.

8. He becomes super secretive around you

In a relationship, it is extremely essential that both partners remain honest to one another. Then only will the relationship last long. But if you find your boyfriend keeping secrets from you and perhaps even lying to you, then it is a sign of disrespect and you must not tolerate this.

There are signs he disrespects you

9. You are forced to transform yourself

Making smaller changes in your life to ensure compatibility with your man is a good thing to do. On the other hand, transforming yourself completely and forgetting who you really are as a person just to please your partner is something serious. It means he is not valuing you and you are also disregarding yourself. Everything in a relationship is not worth compromising on.

10. He looks down on you in front of other people

As a partner, he should make sure that only your good qualities and positive attitude is highlighted in front of the other people. But if your man does not pay attention to you, looks down upon you, portrays you as a stupid person and acts as if you embarrass him in front of others, then he definitely does not respect you. He is one selfish spouse and he does not deserve your love and care.

11. There is lack of commitment from his side

When problems arise in your relationship, you do all you can to sort them out, because you value your relationship. However, your man will not show genuine commitment to the relationship but lets things pass, because the relationship and you are not his priority. It seems that you give your 100%, but he does not even give his 10% to make the relationship work smoothly.

12. Your boyfriend does not hesitate to give silent treatment to you

Giving you silent treatment means not respecting you enough to share with you the cause of resentment and to give you an opportunity to clear the misunderstanding. By exhibiting this disrespectful man behavior, he tries to manipulate and control you according to his wishes.

sad couple sitting

13. He flirts with others in front of you

You should get the hint that your man does not respect you truly when he flirts with other females in front of you. Even if he jokingly mentions being attracted to someone else, you must know that it is impolite and your feelings probably do not matter to him any more.

If you are facing disrespect in your relationship, then talk about it with your partner. If he willingly listens to you and agrees to improve himself, then there are chances of saving your relationship. However, if he becomes defensive and disregards your concern, then he does not deserve you and you must be prepared to move on. Be in a relationship with someone who respects who you are, encourages you to become a better human being and deserves you, and not with someone who controls and inhibits your growth.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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If Your Ex Texts You Randomly, Here’s How To Stay Cool & Handle It

Nothing catches you off guard quite like an unexpected text from an ex. Whether you broke up three weeks ago or three years ago, seeing their name pop up on your phone screen out of the blue is sure to send you for a loop. Are you supposed to feel excited? Hopefully? Angry? An even better question: How the heck are you supposed to respond, if at all? Knowing how to react when your ex texts you randomly always depends on the situation, like the length of time that has passed since you last spoke or why exactly you two split in the first place. In any case, you’ll probably want to find a middle ground between, “I never stopped loving you,” and “New phone, who dis?”

“A text from an ex you still care about may send you into a serious session of overthinking and wondering what it means (i.e., do they want to get back together? Did they realize it was a mistake?),” licensed psychologist Dr. Joy Harden Bradford previously explained to Elite Daily. So before you fire back a response, think carefully about what it is you want from that ex, which is likely one of three things.

If You’re Open To The Idea Of Getting Back Together

Woman texting on the smart phone walking in the street

Shutterstock

Perhaps the breakup was amicable. You decided you were better off as friends, or that you wouldn’t work out in the long run, and you mutually decided to part ways. But now that ex is suddenly hitting up your phone, and you’re wondering whether you two may have made a mistake by calling it quits. First things first: Figure out if your ex is thinking that, too, or if they’re just looking to hook up.

As Bela Gandhi, president at Smart Dating Academy, previously told Elite Daily, “If they’re texting you that they want to hang out, that they miss you, that they’ve made a mistake… then they want to get back together. If someone is only texting you between 10 p.m. and 1 a.m., this is probably not a person who’s looking to be in anything serious with you.”

If your ex’s text seems to suggest the former, go ahead and reply, but be sure to manage your expectations and keep your response (somewhat) casual. By saying, “Hey, stranger. Long time no chat. I’ve missed talking to you,” or, “It’s great to hear from you. We should catch up over coffee,” you can express your interest without coming on too strong and facing potential disappointment.

If You’d Like To Be Friends Eventually And Nothing More Than That

If the first thing you feel after receiving an old-of-the-blue message from an ex is nostalgia rather than longing, it’s possible you miss them as a friend, but not a lover. As tricky as it is to stay friends with an ex, it can be done. Even if your old partner’s text seems to suggest they want something more than friendship, you are not obligated to return the sentiment. Remember what you want, and respond in a way that makes your intentions clear.

Samantha Burns, dating coach and author of Breaking Up & Bouncing Back, agreed that “it’s definitely possible to cultivate a friendship with an ex.” As she explained it, “You’ll know you’ve moved on when you can treat texts with your ex with the same expectations of any other friendship — without all of the amped up emotional reactions.”

If you feel confident that staying on good terms with you ex is not only possible, but desirable to you, respond in a way that is friendly and free from suggestiveness. Try, “It’s so weird that you just texted — something hilarious happened the other day and I almost texted to tell you about,” or, “I’m glad you texted. I’ve been dying to discuss the new season of our fave show with someone.” Make it known that you miss the friendship aspect of your relationship, but you don’t have any desire to rekindle the romantic aspect.

If You Want Nothing To Do With Them

It’s possible that a message from an old SO pops up on your phone and the only thought you have is, “Nope.” Whether you were hurt by that person, you’re still trying to get over that person, or you’re totally over that person for good, you’ll want to find a way to shut that convo down before it can begin. I’m always in favor of taking the high road — there really isn’t anything to gain from being nasty. Just keep your respond brief, detached, and straightforward, and they’ll likely back off.

To make it known you’re not open to starting up a relationship again, platonic or romantic, text back in a way that is short but not-so-sweet. Saying, “I’m not sure it’s such a great idea for us to keep talking,” or, “I need some space, and I would be grateful if you respected that,” lets your ex know you aren’t necessarily bitter, but you’re definitely not interested.

However, as Burns told Elite Daily, you may be better not responding at all. “A breakup impacts us on a neuropsychological level similar to drug withdrawal,” she pointed out, “so sometimes even sending a short text can be like showing up to the bar when you’re trying to get sober.” If ignoring that text message is what’s best for you, then just delete that text and move on.

 

In responding to an unexpected text from an ex, you’re opening a can of worms, and no matter your intentions, you should practice caution. “I think it’s important to be gentle with yourself and your feelings,” Bradford said, “so if the text brings up some stuff for you and then the day goes downhill after that, allow it to happen and then develop a plan for how you’ll try to have a better day tomorrow.”

If responding will bring more harm than good, it’s probably better not to respond at all. But if you think you might be ready to give your relationship another try, even just as friends, then choose your response carefully and see what happens.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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Signs That You Love Your Boyfriend Too Much

It’s totally okay to be in the honeymoon phase and crazy for your new man, but make sure it’s healthy and not a weird obsession… Becoming obsessed with your significant other can go wrong in dozens of ways from driving them away to just being plain unhealthy for you. Here are some of the ways people say I love my boyfriend that others look at as obsession.

1.YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE

Everyone talks about their relationships. However, when you don’t talk about anything else, ever, it’s one of the biggest signs you are obsessed with your boyfriend or girlfriend. If your friends constantly roll their eyes because every sentence out of your mouth begins with “My boyfriend and I…” or “We had so much fun…” then you may have a problem. When everything interesting you have to say involves your significant other, you’re a little too involved. Take a look at your social media timelines as well; how many of your status updates involve your partner?

2.YOUR THUMBS ARE ON THE TRIGGER

Are you constantly texting, Facebooking, or tweeting your significant other? If you can’t go five minutes without sending a text, a selfie, a poke, or a SnapChat, you’re going overboard. This is especially true if you get upset when your partner fails to answer within five seconds. Sending messages is okay in moderation, but you have to draw the line somewhere. There’s a difference between wanting to talk to them and saying I love my boyfriend and being weird about it.

3.SERIOUS SEPARATION ANXIETY

Missing your partner is perfectly natural as well. If your boyfriend heads to band camp for a few weeks or your girlfriend goes on vacation with her family, of course you’ll feel a little lonely. However, if you suffer serious separation anxiety for long and short separations, you need to check yourself. You might actually have sweaty palms, an accelerating heartbeat, and even exhibit the symptoms of a panic attack. That’s too much, especially if all of this comes with a certainty that your partner is cheating with you or plans to break up with you, just because you’re in two different places.

4.YOU NEGLECT YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Obsessive behaviors often manifest outside of your relationship. For example, if you’re neglecting your family and friends in favor of spending time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’ve got a big problem! When your significant other takes up your entire life and you no longer have time for anyone else – and worse, when you no longer have a desire to spend time with anyone else – you’re exhibiting symptoms of obsession and not cutely wanting to say I love my boyfriend by being with him too much. Everyone needs personal space!

5.THERE’S NO PRIVACY

Do you snoop? If you find yourself sneaking peeks at your boyfriend’s phone or trying to read your girlfriend’s diary, your behavior is unmistakably obsessive. This is especially true if you’re doing it because you’re paranoid or suspicious. Everyone deserves their privacy. Don’t betray your partner’s trust by snooping through his or her things, and respect him or her enough to respect these boundaries.

6.YOU GIVE UP YOUR INDEPENDENCE

Do you define yourself by your relationship? If you willingly give up your independence because you want to spend every waking moment with your partner, there’s a problem. When you can’t do anything by yourself, or refuse to go out by yourself or with friends because your partner isn’t coming along, take a long, hard look at yourself, your relationship, and your motivations.

7.YOU’RE JEALOUS OF EVERYONE

You get jealous of random people who may or may not be looking at your partner, as well as people he or she has known forever. You always suspect your partner of cheating or worry that he will automatically return every come-on or flirtation; that’s not I love my boyfriend that’s just plain psycho… Where’s the trust? Obsession often comes from insecurity, and there’s no need to feel jealous of everyone who even glances at your boyfriend or girlfriend unless you feel extremely insecure.

You can be close to your partner; you can be affectionate, interested, and even occasionally clingy, because we all get in those moods – but “occasionally” is the keyword here, and you can’t take it too far. There’s a fine line between I love my boyfriend and obsession which isn’t healthy for anyone involved; nor does it lead to a strong, long lasting relationship. Have you ever gotten obsessed with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Has someone you’ve dated been obsessed with you?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing publishes of Amazon June 20th!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

 

Michelle – Chapter 21 – Ghosted

“I’m just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.”

This post was written in 2019. Due to scheduling restraints of more relevant content, it’s been delayed and is being published now.

If you’ve been reading this blog you’ll have read the Michelle story. Although not the inspiration for this blog like Maria, it’s one of the cornerstones of this publication. Michelle is one of the most important people I’ve ever met. The great thing is, you can simply type in her name in the search bar and read the whole story of our relationship. (Or buy my book, Phicklephilly, on Amazon!)

Sadly, she and I had always wanted to write about our legacy in this great city of Philadelphia, but never did. We collected bullet points and events on paper ,but like most people in love, we were having too much fun to record anything we did.

I did my best here to piece together out greatest hits on phicklephilly. I know Michelle had some fear about what I would publish on this blog because of her present situation.

Read Michelle before you read this piece because it’ll help you understand the full scope of what this relationship was.

Michelle and I had a very special relationship. It was more unique than any I had ever known, and I’m sure I will not experience it again. I’m lucky to have had my time with her. I always said; “You’re the nicest, pretty girl I ever met.” Because beautiful women don’t need to be nice. They just need to show up.

But Michelle always was.

I was blessed to have her as my girl. I was a 40 something loser from a failed marriage and working in New York in the world of finance. I got laid off with a team of other talented guys and needed a job. I ran out of options in NYC and turned to Philly. (The city I’m from) By some miracle, I landed a job in advertising at the news of record for Philadelphia.

Michelle worked in billing. I couldn’t imagine why such a beautiful women ended up in such a shitty department. But she eventually wanted to get into sales, and since my manager was secretly in love with her, he acquired her. Much to my delight. I was just happy to be near her and work with her. Incredibly pretty, but so nice. A rare combination.

We became friends.

Read Michelle. Then you’ll know what we were to each other.

Michelle kept in touch with me long after our breakup. One of the most extraordinary aspects of or relationship, is that we were able to stay best friends after our break up.

It was a classic phicklephilly breakup. “You aren’t going to marry me and give me kids, so goodbye.”

I get it.

I’m not doing that ever again. No bitterness, just can’t risk that again.

Michelle and I have been friends, longer than we’ve been lovers. (Which has so much deeper value)  I’ve never experienced that with anyone I’ve ever known. That seems odd to me, but I simply accepted that miracle for what it was.

That went on for years.

After all of that…

She sold all of her stuff, quit her job, and flew to California and went on to marry her high school sweetheart. She knew we didn’t work, and was done with dating all of the idiots out in the world so she retreated to the known. The guy from high school who she originally loved. They were both out of options so they decided to settle.

“He became the man I hoped he’d be” she said.

She settled for the American Dream.

The American Dream. I have lived that and I have nothing but the taste of ashes in my mouth for that life.

Michelle has been sold a bill of goods, that told her she needs to find a safe man by her 30’s, and get married and have kids. That is a sour lie told to every woman in this country, from the time they hit puberty. Maybe even before that. She’s a kid born out-of-wedlock. Adopted by assholes who have no idea who they were. They don’t even know who they are or why they want a kid, but they can afford you, so you get rescued. But from what? Death, then into the frying pan of these two idiots?

It happened.

But you’re smart and oh, so beautiful. Beauty goes so far in this world.

I only ever saw your kindness and sweetness and till this day I am astounded by you.

When everything in your life no longer makes sense you go for the American Dream.

(Never do this fair readers)

Marriage and settling on a guy that is reasonably handsome and can hold a job and is in the range to give you kids. You hated taking care of your cat, why in the fuck would you ever want to have kids? Kids are a fortune (I have the receipts. My beloved Lorelei cost me over $170,000)

He takes her camping, hiking, and hang gliding… Kill me now. Come on….She likes hanging out, and sipping chardonnay, and smoking cigs with interesting people.

Or does she? Maybe she’s ready to adapt to the safe option.

I know all of the above gets boring, and I don’t even do that anymore, but has she simply settled for mediocrity? But maybe by doing all of those mundane things they’ve saved her from a rich, exciting life, and she’s healthier for it. It’s all about her health. Right? I get that.

I haven’t heard from her since my birthday in 2018. That’s okay. Because on the day she left, I was fine with her leaving. I understood, and I knew where she would go. She’d retreat to her high school boyfriend.

And I get why she’s ghosted her best friend. Because she needs to be the wife to her husband, and the mom to her kids or whatever it is she’s doing. It just sucks that we all know who her best friend is, and that person is not allowed to be friends with her anymore. Simply due to the insecurities in her current. If you’re female, you can be friends with Michelle. If you’re male. No dice.

Hell, I ghost people. They need to be cut off. I just can’t have them in my life anymore.

I get it.

But I think this is it.

She was always texting me and face timing me for the last 5 years since she left. I think she finally found the assumed moral compass, to stop talking to the love of her life, so she could dedicate her life of what happiness is supposed to look like with her husband.

I get it. He always loved to control her. Control is weakness and insecurity. Relax Dave…you’ve won.  I just hope she can find some parcel of happiness in the choices she’s made.

Figure it out and you can still come to Janice’s house at Christmas!

(Kidding!)

Your hubby wouldn’t allow it!

Things are going well for Lorelei and me here in Rittenhouse. She’s doing great in her career and has been in a relationship with Ethan for over 5 years now. I’m managing a restaurant in Rittenhouse now and I love it.

I don’t go out anymore. Only occasionally with a close friend. The old crew has moved on, like they always do. I hope you’re doing well with your husband, and your job and family and life because that’s all I can hope.

I know I can leave this world knowing I helped one person.

I hope it was you Michelle, and I will always love you. No matter where you go, or what you do, I will always love you, and our time together.

Because it was magical and real.

And nobody can every take those memories away from us.

 

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on June 20th, on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

13 Signs Your Ex Is Confused about Your Breakup: What About You?

Breakups aren’t easy. Usually, we end up more confused after the relationship. What do the signs your ex is confused mean for you and your relationship?

If your ex is telling you they want you back, don’t rush into it. You need to take a step back and see the signs your ex is confused. That way, you’ll know what to do next.

After my long term relationship *four years!*, it took me a while to get over my ex. Throughout the relationship, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be with him, and my emotions and self-esteem got the best of me. I didn’t think I could find someone who would love me the same way and make me feel happy, even though I knew my ex wasn’t the one for me. So, I stuck it out and stayed in the relationship.

But, eventually, it came to an end. Going through a breakup is really hard, and during the process, it makes you think about your ex in a different light. On the nights where you’re sad and lonely, you think about the good times you had—and it sucks you back in.

How to interpret the signs your ex is confused

My ex and I were off-and-on for a couple of months after the breakup. Even though we both knew the breakup must happen, you struggle with separating for good. This was someone you called your best friend; someone you shared laughs and memories with. I was definitely confused and highly emotional when wanting to go back to my ex.

And these emotions just made the breakup even harder for both of us. Don’t get played by emotions if it isn’t the right thing for you.

#1 What does your gut instinct say? When it comes to your gut instinct, your body knows when something isn’t right. If your ex gives you all the right words, but you feel something is off, then listen to your gut. If what they’re saying or doing isn’t making you feel good, then it’s not for you.

#2 They’re hot and cold. When you talk to them, they’ll be happy and flirty one day, and the next, moody and antisocial. They’re clearly confused with how they’re feeling about the breakup. They’re not sure what to do and struggling emotionally to make a decision.

#3 They mention how much they’ve invested in you. When you talk with them, they bring up how much they invested in the relationship. This could be seen as a positive, but also negative. If they feel they’re invested a lot, getting back together could be because they don’t want to waste what they put into the relationship.

#4 They’re angry. Anger is usually a common emotion after a breakup. If your ex feels indifference, then that’s a sign they’re over the relationship. But anger shows that they’re not over the breakup; they’re not over you. Although, it doesn’t mean you should get back together. 

#5 They don’t try to reconcile. It doesn’t matter who’s at fault for the breakup, the point is, they don’t push to reconcile. They won’t even bring up the reason why you broke up. If they’re not willing to work on reconciling the relationship, then they’re not ready to be in one. 

#6 They tell you they want you back. But when it comes to committing, they don’t jump right in. This is because they’re unsure about the relationship. They may tell you they want you back, but if they’re not ready to commit, they’re just confused.

#7 They make up reasons to talk to you. Your ex always has an excuse to talk to you. Even though they don’t directly bring up getting back together, they focus on talking about memories or things you like.

#8 They’re dating other people. Even though they’re casually dating others, how can they get back together with you at the same time? If they really wanted to be with you, they wouldn’t be dating other people too.

#9 You’re getting mixed messages. They’ll drop subtle hints about wanting to get back together with you, but then the next day they mention wanting to move on. And every day, it’s something different. The messages you get aren’t clear, if anything, you’re more confused now than you’ve ever been. Well, if you’re confused, they’re confused.

#10 They attempt to make you jealous. Your ex does their best to make you jealous, and sometimes it works. When you confront them on what they do, instead of taking action, they play games. See, they’re not really interested in getting back together with you; they just don’t want your attention to move from them to someone else.

#11 They keep communication open. When someone is ready to move on, they cut ties with their ex, at least, until they’ve moved on. But your ex still lingers around, liking your posts and chatting with you via text. They want to keep the line of communication open, just in case.

#12 They try to publicly humiliate you. When your ex tries to put you down in public, they’re hurting. This isn’t an excuse for their actions. All this shows you is their immaturity and they’re confused with their emotions.

They don’t know how to handle their emotions, so they put their anger onto you. If this happens, it’s a clear red flag.

#13 They tell you they’re confused. If you’ve confronted them about their actions, good for you! If you’re confused, talk to them about it and see how they feel. If they tell you they’re confused, you now know where they stand. And if they’re confused about their feelings for you, then they don’t want to be with you. They just don’t know how to move on.

Now that you know the signs your ex is confused, what do you think? Is your ex really confused or do they genuinely want to get back together with you?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

How To Get A Boyfriend

Do you feel like you’ve been single forever? Do you feel like you scroll through social media and find yourself sad and envious of those in relationships, engaged, getting married, etc. and you feel stagnate in life? If you ever sit and think I want a boyfriend, you’ve come to the right place. Here are my top ten tips on how to get a boyfriend…

1.REMEMBER THAT BEING SINGLE IS OKAY

If you are frantically waiting for that special someone, you might be coming across as desperate and that is instantly off-putting to guys. Take some time to enjoy yourself, and remember why you are so amazing. If you love yourself you make it much easier for others to love you too.

2.THINK ABOUT WHO YOU WANT

Now you know who you are, think about what you want. Write down what is really important out of a mate and what can be negotiated. This will stop you settling for anything, and ensure that you look for people who you could actually have a future with!↓

3.SPREAD YOUR WINGS!

Join a club that you love, get involved in a sport, learn a new skill. Don’t join just because you expect to meet people, join to enjoy yourself, boost your confidence, and act as a distraction while you are waiting for Mr. Right!

4.BE CONFIDENT

Been checking out that guy for a while? Go and introduce yourself. No other way to stop saying I want a boyfriend than just go out and get one. It might be scary, but you’ll demonstrate confidence and self reliance which are both very attractive qualities!

5.GET TO KNOW THEM

Before you fall in love with every guy you meet, talk to them and see if they match your list. Look for similarities and differences and see how you get on together. Just because he matches your list verbatim doesn’t mean the chemistry is there. It’s important that you know the man himself so you know whether or not you need to readjust your list.

 

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15 Things to Know Before Moving in With Your Boyfriend

Are you moving in with your boyfriend? Well, good for you! But here are a few things you need to keep in mind to have that perfect romantic start.

Moving in with your boyfriend can seem more like fun and less like a big life altering decision.

While moving in is fun, it’s also something you need to give a lot of thought.

So do you know if he’s a great guy?

Do you think both of you will have a perfect relationship after you move in?

Will you moving in lead to a proposal and babies soon?

The only way to really know for sure is to try it, right?

Moving in with your boyfriend

No relationship is the same, and when it comes to moving in too, no experience will ever be the same.

But there are a few things that are common while moving in together.

There are right moves. And then, there are a few wrong moves.

If you want to make sure that both of you set off on a perfectly romantic start after moving in together, here are a few things you need to talk about with your boyfriend, and ask yourself the real answers.

5 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE MOVING IN

If you haven’t moved in just yet, give these pointers a deep thought. Sometimes, it’s the little things you overlook that can play the biggest part.

#1 Set ground rules. It may seem trivial and unnecessary, but it’ll save both of you from confusions and frustrations later. Setting clear ground rules can help both of you talk about faults and confusions without arguments. Unless you make rules, there’s no way to tell why the frustrations began in the first place.

#2 Be sure of your decision. Are you completely sure you want to move in with your boyfriend? Take time to decide about it and weigh all the options. It’s alright to feel confused as long as you’re excited about moving in together. Don’t let infatuation cloud your judgment though.

#3 Consider your independence. Moving in together is something that is inevitable when you’re in love. It can happen now or it can happen a few years down the lane. You may be in love with your sweetheart, but are you in the right frame of mind and have the intellectual maturity to give up on your own freedom just to share some bedroom space with your lover?

#4 How is your boyfriend really? Is he a great guy? Do you really see yourself walking down the aisle with him years from now? If your boyfriend’s gentle and considerate of your feelings, it’s a safe plunge. But if he’s domineering or wants things his way, ask yourself if he’s really the one for you.

#5 Can both of you take joint decisions? The decisions in the relationship have to be taken jointly no matter what. Both of you should agree on that before moving in. Everything from deciding on monthly expenses to hanging out with friends has to be taken jointly without arguments.

10 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT AFTER MOVING IN

Have you moved in already? It’s not too late. Here are a few more things you should consider to have a perfectly romantic relationship.

#1 Be prepared to see his not-so-nice side. All of us show off our good sides when we’re with someone. But it takes living with someone to see their real side. Your boyfriend may have a few flaws or differences from your behavior. It’s not weird. He’s just being himself.

#2 Split the household chores. Give this a serious thought even if it’s toe curling and awkward to talk about. Create a list of necessary chores and split the chores right down the middle unless one of you is willing to take on more responsibility. But unless there’s a real good reason to unfairly split the chores like one working partner and one homemaker, try to keep it balanced.

#3 Take time to settle in. Dating is very different from moving in together. When you move in, you’re practically living with each other 24/7. Accept the fact that the relationship can feel different at the beginning. He may have pampered you like a princess until now, but now that you’ve both moved in, he may expect you to be more handy and less like a damsel in distress.

#4 Talk about the differences. You and your boyfriend are not two peas in a pod. Both of you are two individuals with different wants and interests. So talk about your differences and lifestyle choices with your boyfriend. When you move in together, both of you have to make a few compromises, be it watching a favorite show on the television or deciding how many times to go out in a week.

#5 Learn to forgive. When you move in together, there are bound to be a few differences and misunderstandings at the beginning. You and your boyfriend have to take the pains to go out of your ways to help the other person feel comfortable in the new environment. And if mistakes do happen, learn to forgive.

#6 Always communicate. Talk about your feelings, it’s really the right thing to do after moving in together. Forgive those little mistakes, but talk about it with your boyfriend and let him know what’s on your mind. Misunderstandings are good, because they help your boyfriend understand you better. But conflicts just aren’t any help in the relationship. Avoid conflicts, but communicate each other’s thoughts.

#7 His friends and yours. Both of you have to avoid bringing friends over to your place often for a couple of weeks or months. Take time to understand each other and live with each other before bringing confusions and new people into the house.

#8 Avoid creating insecurities. You may be dating for a while, but moving in together is a fragile stage in the relationship. Can you stop calling or texting other guys late into the night if it makes your boyfriend uncomfortable? Sometimes, insecurities in a relationship increase when people move in together. It takes a few sacrifices, reassurances and communication to test the waters of moving in together.

#9 Talk about money. Talk about money, individual savings and expenditures. Some things are better left out in the open than brushed under the carpet. Moving in is like a little marriage experiment. It can help both of you experience the reality of marriage before taking the plunge.

#10 Be serious. Living together with your boyfriend is no joke, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s better to consider it seriously and live seriously than look at it as an easy way to spend more time with each other or have more sex. Making any mistakes here will only force both of you apart. Be serious about the relationship and work together as a couple instead of two individuals.

Moving in with your boyfriend is just like getting married, without the license. Keep these 15 tips in mind and your next step together will be a walk in the clouds. Get these wrong, and one of you could nip a perfect relationship in the bud.

 

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These Boyfriends Reveal What They Do When Their Gf’s Mad At Them And It’s Brilliant

 

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Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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Things Not to Share with Your Boyfriend

When it comes to relationships, there are always boundaries. Whether you like it or not, they are there and it is your job to make sure you don’t overstep yours. I don’t believe you should ever intentionally hide anything from your man, but there are a few things you should never share with him. Read on to discover what they are!

1.YOUR BODILY FUNCTIONS

Yea, everybody farts. And everyone has to go poop. And shockingly, every person in the world has belched at one time or another. But men like to think of us as ladylike and feminine. After all, isn’t that what attracts them to us in the first place? So don’t give any raunchy details about your period or your stomach flu. Save all that for your diary!

2.YOUR GIRLFRIENDS’ SECRETS

This really is a no-brainer. Your friends confide in you and expect you to keep that confidence. After all, they do the same for you, right? So keep their trust intact. You have no idea how hard it is on a guy to hear us dish about all the latest gossip when all they want to do is rest after a long day. And if the secret you are telling is one of your close girlfriends who happens to have a boyfriend that your man sees everyday, it may be hard for him not to let it slip.

3.YOUR TOOTHBRUSH

Yes, I know you kiss him and you both drink from the same glass occasionally. But we live in a civilized age and hygiene is a little more obvious now than it was 200 years ago. Toothbrushes only cost a few dollars. Buy your own!

4.YOUR PASSWORD

Unless you both share an email account, or you’re married, this is a big no-no. Giving him your password may encourage him to “check up” on you, and all that’s going to do is raise insecurities on your part and feelings of distrust on yours. Not good for a healthy relationship. Plus, he may find out about the surprise party you were planning him for next weekend!

5.YOUR DISLIKE FOR HIS MOTHER

There will always be a few of us who can’t stand or get along with our in-laws. But that doesn’t mean you should give him a highlighted, detailed list of the 492 reasons why every time you have to be around them! He may feel pressured to choose between you, or he may get aggravated with you and put a strain on your relationship. If the problem is too big to be ignored, gently state your case. If he doesn’t see it your way, give him some time and in the meantime, learn to bite your tongue and keep your cool.

6.YOUR INSECURITIES

If you think your thighs are too fat, your hair is too curly and your teeth are too crooked, try to refrain from bringing it up every 3 to 4 hours. Men get tires of hearing about our horrible bodies. He thinks you are beautiful. He’s with you isn’t he? And if he accepts you, you can certainly accept yourself! Besides, you drawing attention to your “flaws” may make him notice it when it never really stood out before.

7.YOUR PAST…IN DETAIL

While it’s never OK to lie or hide your past from someone if you are in a committed relationship, it’s also not OK to tell your significant other how many times a day you kissed each one of your exes or give him the livid details of what you and your girlfriends used to do to get back at all the guys who broke your hearts. Guys just don’t need to know that sort of stuff. They always wonder if they measure up or if you regret choosing them. Don’t give him reason to wonder!

You CAN have an open, honest relationship with your man. All you need to do in order to achieve it is be kind and thoughtful and think about what you say before you say it! Do you ever share things with your sweetie that you probably shouldn’t?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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