When Your Boyfriend Ignores You: Why He Does It and How to Respond

If you’re in a relationship, you know it’s normal for couples to argue. But when your boyfriend ignores you after, do you wonder why?

We’ll talk about what to do when your boyfriend ignores you, but what’s important is to look at why they ignore you first. That way, you kind of see where their behavior originates. This doesn’t mean you should excuse the fact that he’s ignoring you, don’t let it slide. But knowing the root cause helps you decide which angle to approach this from.

Again, this doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it gives you a better idea of what’s going on in his head. Since ignoring you is his go-to move, you should be the bigger person and approach the subject. It’s clear that he won’t.

5 reasons why he’s ignoring you

Whoever said relationships were easy has never been in a relationship—or not a normal one. Of course, when you’re in a relationship, it’s normal for people to disagree and argue sometimes. You may not like it, but it happens in any relationship. But the way you come out of a fight is what matters.

Everyone argues, but how does the argument end? Are you talking about what happened or is someone ignoring the other for days on end? Now, no one is perfect but ignoring someone is a sign of immaturity. It isn’t cool.

And men say women are complicated—yeah, right.

#1 He’s angry at you. If you just had an argument with him and he’s been ignoring you, well, then you have your answer. Obviously, he’s upset with you. Now, him ignoring you could be one of two things.

He could be so angry that he just needs some space from you. Or, secondly, he’s using this as a way to manipulate you into admitting fault. It really depends on the fight you had and your role in it.

#2 He feels suffocated. When your boyfriend ignores you, this could be another reason too. You’re not necessarily clingy for wanting to spend time with him, everyone has their own personal space and amount of alone time they need to recharge. But this doesn’t mean he should ignore you, instead, he could tell you that he needs space instead.

#3 He’s cheating on you. Okay, before I say anything, remember, just because they’re ignoring you, doesn’t mean they’re cheating. This is possibly the most drastic reason behind why he’s ignoring you, so don’t freak out. If you feel he’s cheating on you, you need to look at other behaviors as well.

#4 He’s thinking about breaking up. When we’re thinking about breaking up with someone, we distance ourselves from the person in order to make the breakup easier for ourselves. I know, we’re selfish but that’s just human for ya. He’s making his decision and while doing so, he’s pushing you away.

#5 He has other things going on in his life. Whether it’s work or school, he could be really stressed in other areas of his life and as a result, he ignores you. Now, this may not be intentional, but he’s not keeping your feelings in check either.

The things you need to do when your boyfriend ignores you

No one likes being ignored. So, it’s time to take action and stand up for yourself when your boyfriend ignores you without any explanation. Don’t let him behave like this towards you.

#1 Don’t “pay him back.” I know that you’re probably giving him a taste of his own medicine. In some cases, it can work but let’s be honest, is that really showing him that you don’t appreciate his behavior? The only way for him to understand that his behavior is wrong is if you talk to him. Don’t try to do the whole “he needs a taste of his own medicine” because that won’t solve the problem.

#2 Communicate with him. If you don’t communicate with him, it’s only going to get worse. Communication is key, and it can solve a lot of issues that you’re experiencing as a couple and on your own. So, if it’s bothering you that he ignores you, I recommend that you just sit down with him and talk about it.

You may find out things that you didn’t know before. Make sure you talk about how this makes you feel.

#3 Spend time with family and friends. Well, you can’t change his behavior, but you can change yours. Don’t sit at home twiddling your fingers, instead, go out and spend time with the people that care about you. He’ll come around but don’t wait for him in the meantime.

#4 Don’t chase him around. When we feel that we’re going to lose something, we try to grab onto it even harder, but it never works. If he’s ignoring you, don’t panic and start texting and phoning him twenty times. Instead, back off and give him the time he needs. When he’s ready, he’ll come to you and that’s when you sit down and talk about it.

#5 Set boundaries. He can’t keep ignoring you every time something doesn’t please him. You need to set firm personal boundaries in order to protect yourself. He needs to know that you won’t be putting up with this behavior any further. If he continues to use this strategy as a way to deal with his problems, you don’t need this.

#6 Wait for him to connect with you. He needs to make the first move and reach out to you. If not, you’re just going to be chasing him like a lost puppy and that doesn’t look as cute as it does on Instagram. Only time will tell what will happen and if he continues to ghost you, you’ll have to end it yourself.

#7 Don’t let it absorb all your thoughts. This is going to bother you, but refocus your attention and do not let it ruin your day. This is his behavior and you can only control your own behavior. I know that you have many unanswered questions but having it consume all your thoughts won’t change the fact that he’s ignoring you.

#8 Practice self-care. No one likes being ignored, and in fact, it’s extremely hurtful. If your boyfriend has done this a couple of times, each time is like a knife to the heart. So, rather than getting sucked in, focus on yourself and practicing self-care. Think about your emotions and how they affect you. Write your feelings down, go for walks, and be around supportive people.

#9 Talk about finding a solution with him. After figuring out why he’s behaving this way, then you can figure out how to solve it. Of course, at the end of the day, he’s going to need to work on this, but you may have played a larger role in this than you originally thought. This obviously goes deep, so, by knowing the root problem, this behavior can be changed.

Ignoring people isn’t going to help any situation. When your boyfriend ignores you, it hurts even more. But now you know exactly what to do when he starts with this behavior.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Will My Ex Come Back? 14 Positive Signs They Regret Leaving You

You and your ex broke up, but you’re hungry for them to return. We’ve all been there. But how can you know the answer to, will my ex come back or not?

Haven’t we all wondered, will my ex come back? I know I have. Though I broke up with an ex, it took me years to move on. I was constantly in a debate with myself—wondering whether or not I made the right decision. Of course, we would go back and forth, breaking up one day and getting back together the next.

In the moments where I was alone, I constantly worried about whether or not my ex would come back to me. In hindsight, I was in a destructive relationship of game playing, but that’s not necessarily the case with you.

You may have broken up with your partner or taken a break and realized that your relationship is something worth fighting for.

Will my ex come back?

If that’s the case, naturally, you want your ex to come back to you. Perhaps you think too much time has passed or that they’ve moved on. But, listen, if you want to give the relationship another try, it’s never too late.

If you’re wondering, will my ex come back, you don’t want to live with the big “what if” question and regret not giving the relationship another shot.

Now, if your partner is abusive, then you should move on and definitely not try to get back with your ex. But if the breakup was based on something else: not enough alone time, needing to find yourself, etc., then why not give it another try?

Who knows what will happen? And if you end up breaking up again, at least there’s no regret. You can get back together with your ex… if you want.

#1 You feel it. I know you probably think I’m a hippie, but listen, your intuition isn’t lying. If you feel they want to get back together with you, you’re probably right. Your gut can tell you what’s going on; all you need to do is listen. We’re usually able to feel people who are close to you, and this includes your ex.

#2 They stay in contact with you. When we’re over a relationship, we cut all ties. This is the only way we can move on and heal from the breakup. But if your ex is still keeping contact with you, they’re trying to see if they have another chance. There’s no other explanation unless they want to torture you.

#3 Your ex wants to spend time with you. Come on, if this happens, you know what’s going on. Of course, unless they just want to have sex. If that’s the case, they don’t want you back; they want sex – big difference. But if they want to hang out, watch movies, go for walks, or grab dinner, they’re not looking for just a bang. They want you back.

#4 They’re nostalgic. When you bump into them, they talk about the good times they shared with you, almost as if they miss those moments. And that’s because they do; they miss you. The memories they have of you are positive, and now they’re figuring out whether breaking up with you was a good idea in the first place.

#5 They ask about you. You don’t ask about people unless you care about them. If they’re asking your friends about you, they want to know what’s happening in your life. Of course, they’ll try not to be too obvious, but asking about you already blew their cover. 

#6 They ask if you’re seeing anyone. Well, you know they wouldn’t be asking you this if they didn’t care. But they’re asking you because they want to know what’s going on. If you’re single, they’ll make a move. If you’re in a relationship, they’ll probably poke and see how long the relationship has been going on; wagering their odds of getting you back.

#7 The breakup wasn’t concrete. You decided to go on a “break,” but there was nothing concrete about your breakup. In fact, you didn’t even break up, there was just a long pause. If there was no closure, there’s always a chance for things to start up again.

#8 They tell you that they’ve changed. There may have been some issues you couldn’t work out because you both weren’t able to handle them. But, time apart has given you the opportunity to grow as people. Your ex has noticed this positive change, and now you two are more mature to enter the relationship again.

#9 You both didn’t want to break up. Maybe school was too much, or work was taking over your life. And though you didn’t want to break up, you didn’t see any other option. If you both didn’t want it, but did so out of an external force, then the love you share is still there. That’s the love you can’t forget.

#10 They see you’ve changed. When you broke up, it’s possible you weren’t in the best of places. But with some much-needed space apart, they see how much you’ve grown and changed. They see the breakup helped you grow as a person, and now they’re ready to give it another shot.

#11 It feels natural to be together. Whenever you see each other, it just feels right. You can’t explain why, but next to your ex, everything feels secure and comforting. Your ex also feels the same way and doesn’t hesitate to tell you. If you feel “right” being together, your ex will come back.

#12 You’re both single. Well, this is a pretty important factor. Most people won’t try to get back with their ex if they’re in a relationship. But if you are both single, there’s a high chance they’ll try to weasel their way back to you. This is the moment where everything is laid out nice and neat. They don’t need to fight your partner or sneak around and send you DMs.

#13 You were together for a long time. Long term relationships always have a high chance of patching things up and reuniting. You were together for a long time, so it’s natural to want to get back together with someone who knows you like the back of their hand.

#14 They’re getting close with your family again. Ah yes, this is a pretty subtle sign your ex will come back to you. If they’re trying to get close to your family again, it’s not because they love hanging out with your parents. They’re trying to reconnect with the people who are the closest to you in an effort to get you back.

Do you have an answer to, will my ex come back? You now have all the signs you could possibly want. After reading the signs, what do you think? 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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How To Get Over A Breakup, Based On Your Love Language

Epic phone conversations to analyze every detail with your BFF, a pint of Halo Top to eat your feelings, a kickboxing class to get out your aggression — these are just some of the ways we get over the end of a relationship. We all have certain strategies that are more effective for us, depending on our own unique needs and personalities. And when it comes to figuring out how to get over a breakup, your love languages can factor in, too.

The love languages were developed by counselor and author Dr. Gary Chapman. After observing couples in counseling for more than 30 years, he observed patterns in the ways that partners communicate with each other, and concluded that there are five universal ways in which people express and interpret love: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. According to Chapman, while we all may have two or three that speak to us, everyone has one primary love language that takes precedence. You may be well aware of how your love languages can play a role in your relationships. By knowing what makes you feel loved, you can better express to your partner what you need from them. But love languages are just as important to keep in mind once you split.

Think of it this way: you’ll definitely need to feel loved after a breakup. And if you know what your languages are, you can show yourself a little extra TLC and potentially heal more quickly from the trauma.

“After a breakup, we’re often left to our own devices and with no one engaging us in our love language, we’re likely to spiral into a pit of despair where we feel unseen and unstimulated,” explains Chelsea Leigh Trescott, breakup coach and podcast host of Thank You Heartbreak. “To ward against this, it’s up to us to initiate self-care through our various love languages. Where your partner no longer meets you at your most tender place, you must learn how to.”

So, want to know how to cope with a recent split? Here’s how experts advise moving on after a breakup, according to your love language.

Physical Touch

Alexey Kuzma/Stocksy

Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to miss out on that physical contact you crave.

“If you respond to physical touch during a relationship, you very likely would still want and need physical touch to help you heal and recover from a breakup,” says prominent L.A.-based relationship therapist Dr. Gary Brown.

Don’t underestimate the power of a hug from a friend or family member. In fact, a hug can instantly trigger the release of the feel-good hormone oxytocin, which is obviously much needed following a breakup. Researchers from Carnegie Mellon University also discovered that hugs can lessen negative emotions and improve mood as well as psychological well-being after a conflict.

And if you’re seeking to treat yourself during this difficult time, Trescott suggests booking a massage or ordering a foot bath for a luxurious soak while you’re watching Netflix.

“Whether it’s dance classes, misting your face with rose water or hugging someone goodbye, what you’re looking to create for yourself is a ritual around touch,” explains Trescott. “However, rather than looking for touch in a romantic partner, it becomes about how you can use elements in your environment to touch you.”

Any of these acts may help to lessen the pain you experience due to losing that physical contact with your partner.

Words Of Affirmation

Sean Locke/Stocksy

If you relied on lots of compliments or verbal expressions of appreciation and praise from your SO to make you feel loved in your relationship, then you’ll want to find new outlets for these affirmations.

Trescott advises purchasing a journal and coming up with a new question to answer every day for a full month.

“This will be a way of not only painlessly encouraging you to inquire within but asking yourself powerful questions will empower you to lean into your truth and accept the range and depth of your emotions,” she explains.

She also suggests writing your ex a thank you letter (rather than a goodbye letter) in which you detail what you learned about yourself throughout the relationship. While you’ll never send this letter, it will serve as a spectacular outlet for positivity during this challenging time.

You can also start implementing some positive affirmations into your daily life for a much-needed boost. For example, consider writing something nice about yourself on a post-it note and sticking it on your bathroom mirror so that it’s the first and last thing you see every day. Or, set a reminder in your phone to pop up at a certain time every day that includes a complimentary affirmation.

Quality Time

Guille Faingold/Stocksy

If you’re the kind of person who really valued QT with bae — as in, dates on which you had their undivided attention — then you may really benefit from setting up some dates with other loved ones in your life.

“Quality time with friends and family can help to heal the wounds of a breakup,” explains Dr. Brown.

Be sure to make plans that encourage quality interaction (i.e. cooking a meal together, painting each other’s nails, or even just taking a walk) as opposed to activities that include distractions (such as binge-watching Netflix). That means putting your devices away and using this time to simply connect with a loved one. Making new memories with other people who are important to you will help you to realize that quality time isn’t only reserved for your significant other. It will also offer up an opportunity to strengthen those relationships in the wake of your split.

Acts Of Service

Tana Teel/Stocksy

If this is your primary love language, you have probably found that actions speak louder than words in your relationships. You felt most loved when boo brought home your dry cleaning on their way home or did the dishes when they knew you were exhausted. As such, while getting over your breakup, you may want to consider ways in which you can make your own life easier. For example, if you’ve been swamped at work lately and laundry is your most dreaded chore, treat yourself to a delivery service that does it for you.

According to Trescott, a breakup might inspire you to take a road trip with friends, or accompany them on their banal errands and turn it into a “windows-down, music-blasting, selfie-taking fun time.”

“It may also be the clean slate you need to show up in your own home differently,” she explains.

This might entail repainting the walls to breathe new life into your home, buying new bedding, moving furniture around, or swapping out the photos in your frames.

“When you’re feeling like you have no one to lean on, a breakup is the best time to lean on yourself and what better way than by putting yourself to work around your own sanctuary,” Trescott says. “Serving yourself will give you the strength to serve others.”

Gifts

Jovo Jovanovic/Stocksy

Did receiving some tangible token from your boo make you feel warm and fuzzy inside? Just because you’re not in a relationship anymore doesn’t mean you can’t leverage this love language to help you get over your breakup.

“A breakup is a prime time to start treating yourself to both luxuries and necessities,” says Trescott. “Rather than wait for your significant other to buy you flowers, purchase your own every Sunday. Go to a perfume counter and try out a new seasonal or signature scent. Scents after all trigger memories, especially tied to romance. Buy two tickets to an upcoming show which will be something to look forward to and something that locks you into finding yourself a plus one.”

So why not give yourself a little something as an act of self-love, and a reminder that you’re worthy?

“Maybe it’s high time you buy yourself a ring or piece of jewelry that signifies you committing to you,” adds Trescott.

Maybe you sign up for a subscription-based service that sends a specially curated selection of wine to your doorstep every month, or maybe you splurge on some luxe lingerie just because. The point is, you don’t need someone else to make you feel appreciated.

“Love languages, at the core, are a way of addressing and speaking to the most tender part of ourselves,” says Trescott. “Sometimes it’s the wounded part that’s aching for the soothing, grounding words of reassurance. Whether it’s words of affirmation, touch, acts of service, quality time, or through gift giving, each language makes us feel seen and, as a byproduct of that, less alone and alive. To show up in this world with steady footing, we need that acknowledgment.”

Regardless of your primary love language, there are a number of different ways in which you can leverage it for the comfort, reassurance, encouragement, and tenderness you need during the often brutal experience of a breakup. Be kind to yourself, and remember: A breakup is an opportunity to learn more about what makes you feel the most loved so that you’re prepared to pursue a happy, healthy relationship next time around.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!