If You Miss Using Dating Apps Now That You’re In A Relationship, Here’s What To Do

After all of that swiping, matching, chatting, and meeting, you’ve finally landed yourself a keeper. You’re in a relationship with a great person, but sometimes, you still miss using dating apps. You may be wondering whether having the occasional urge to swipe is something you should be concerned about, which is a totally valid question. It turns out that there are a number of reasons why you might miss dating apps. The explanation may be as simple as you’re easily bored and you miss having a mindless activity to distract yourself with, or it could be more complicated — and could potentially be an indicator that you’re unhappy with some aspect of your relationship.

I spoke to Dr. QuaVaundra Perry, a licensed psychologist who specializes in couples’ therapy and relationship distress. She explains that there are a few things to consider if you’re in a relationship but find that you miss dating apps. She provided a list of questions to ask yourself, which, when answered honestly, can help determine if there is an unresolved issue within yourself or your relationship. Before you start to panic, you should ask yourself the following four questions. Then, evaluate your answers based on Dr. Perry’s expert advice.

1. What is it about dating apps that you miss?

Stocksy/Guille Faingold

This is the first and most important question to ask yourself, according to Dr. Perry. She explains that the specific type of dating app that you miss can help shed some light on your situation.

“If you miss being on sites aimed to connect people looking for long-term relationships, it may mean you are unfulfilled with respect to your partner’s goals and values,” says Dr. Perry. “However, if you miss being on dating apps that are designed to promote casual sexual hookups, it may indicate unfulfilled sexual desires in your current relationship or differing views on monogamy.”

Depending on which category you fall into, you may need to have a serious conversation with your partner about your needs that are not getting met, and how this could impact your future together.

2. When and why did you use dating apps?

Stocksy/Javier Pardina

It’s also important to evaluate when and why you visited dating apps or sites in the past because that can help explain the reasons behind your current urges to get back on them.

“Do you notice that you browse the sites mindlessly out of habit when you are bored or do you visit the sites when you feel rejected and alone?” says Dr. Perry. The former isn’t as big of an issue as the latter and can be more easily addressed and rectified. Consider downloading a few games on your phone. That way you can still be entertained, but without any consequences in terms of your relationship.

3. Are you happy in your relationship?

Stocksy/T-REX & Flower

“Another issue can be taming the mindset of finding the one,'” says Dr. Perry. “Oftentimes people are happy in their relationship but may feel compelled to continue using dating apps in case they are missing out on the perfect mate. Do you find yourself browsing out of curiosity?”

This is a common obstacle to finding a relationship on a dating app or at least getting someone to fully commit. It’s not out of the ordinary to question whether there is someone else out there for you who might be “better” than your current partner. This question of “What if?” may explain your reluctance to stop swiping.

4. Are you secure with yourself?

Stocksy/Studio Firma

Finally, ask yourself whether you are secure and confident in yourself. How is your self-esteem? Do you tend to get your confidence boosts through compliments from other people, or does that love come from within? This may be the hardest question to answer honestly, but it’s so important.

“At times, you may find yourself missing dating apps because it gave you a sense of validation and attention, even if short-lived,” says Dr. Perry. “It may be worth exploring whether you are looking outward for comfort and praise that can only be fulfilled within.”

There are a number of possible explanations why you might feel the need to use dating apps even though you’re in a committed relationship. Before you act rashly, though, consider what is missing from your relationship — and whether your current partner is able to help meet those needs.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Do You Have Chemistry In Real Life? 3 Signs It Only Works Over Text

You’ve been texting back and forth for days, and you’re already smitten by their flirty remarks and sharp wit. “Could this be the one?” you ask yourself, blushing by the glow of your phone screen — that is until you meet your date in person and your dreams are instantly crushed. Now, you’re wondering: Do I have chemistry in real life, or only over text?

I’ve witnessed this dating debacle firsthand.

“I don’t get it,” my girlfriend Angie* told me, as she lamented about yet another disappointing Tinder date. “We had this amazing back and forth banter going all week, he was super confident and funny. Then we finally meet up and it was awkward AF.”

It’s no secret that our phones play a massive role in dating nowadays — not only are we using them to meet people, but we’re also using them to get to know someone and assess whether they’re a good match. The problem with this is that our communication over text isn’t necessarily a solid indicator of our actual chemistry in person. By the time we meet up with someone, we’ve often already built up an understanding of who they are, based merely on the messages they’ve been sending — and that picture isn’t necessarily accurate.

“I have clients who spend two weeks texting because they want to get to know a person — but the only way you get to know a person is by meeting face to face,” Fran Greene, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and author of The Secret Rules of Flirting, tells Elite Daily. “It creates a sense of false intimacy, which can lead to a huge disappointment. The only way to gauge chemistry is to meet in person.”

Wondering whether your digital chemistry doesn’t quite translate when you’re face-to-face? Here are some signs that the sparks are flying on your phone screen, but not IRL.

You feel like your texting partner and your date are two different people.

You can’t count how many times your date’s texts had you sending the heart-eyes or smirk emoji. Undoubtedly, they have some serious digital game. When you meet in person, however, it’s a whole different story. That flirty charm is nowhere to be found.

“It can go from very affectionate texts to a very reserved and even distant feeling,” says Greene. “This can happen if the ‘vision of your crush’ is nothing like what you imagined even if you have exchanged photos.”

Sometimes you may have to be the one to make some moves to knock down your crush’s walls a bit. You can try breaking the touch barrier by putting a hand on their shoulder or knee while you’re laughing, and see how they respond. Still, if you feel like they were pretending to be someone they’re not, there’s a chance you fell for your texting partner and not your actual date. Maybe over time, your date will be able to open up and show their true selves, and you’ll finally be able to tell whether that chemistry is still there.

You’re doing far more of the conversational work in person.

Over text, your convo felt like a tennis match, with thought-provoking questions and clever responses being tossed back and forth — easy, natural, and equal. In-person, your conversation feels like throwing a tennis ball into the abyss, only to get nothing back. What gives?

“The conversation just flowed over text and when you meet in person, the silences are agonizing,” says Greene. “In-person, your anxiety can influence your spontaneity, and having a warm body in front of you changes everything — it becomes real!”

If it’s the first date, try to keep in mind that your date’s lackluster responses may be a matter of nerves. There’s a chance they might open up over time as they become more comfortable with you, and your in-person convos will match the ease of your texting ones. They could just be a little shyer when it comes to face-to-face interactions — or, of course, you could just have better texting chemistry than you do IRL.

They took their sweet time texting back.

When you’re texting, you have the advantage of taking a long pause to craft the perfect response. That’s not the case IRL — which is why you may feel like the chemistry that was explosive over text simply doesn’t exist in person.

“It’s often easier to text than talk,” adds Greene. “You can add and delete words and use emojis when texting.”

If your conversation is lacking in person, think back to when you were texting. Did it seem like there were some pauses in between their responses? They may have been editing their texts to perfection — and now that you’re making eye contact, they don’t have that luxury. Keep in mind that many of us can’t summon quite the same witty responses on the spot that we can come up with over text. The reality is, however, that your perceived chemistry may be rooted in their ability to edit their messages, which they can’t do IRL.

If you suspect that your texting chemistry isn’t quite matching up IRL, don’t stress. First of all, this is a super common conundrum.

“Because your expectations are off the charts, the likelihood of being disappointed even just a little is the norm,” explains Greene. “The best thing to do is to take a deep breath and don’t be so hard on yourself or your date. You both may be a little nervous because you thought you both found a match — and maybe you did!”

This common dating debacle is why Greene recommends waiting no longer than a week to meet up after you begin texting with your crush. While there may be extenuating circumstances sometimes that delay your date, it’s best not to wait weeks before you hang out IRL.

“It is a huge waste of your time to spend days texting as if you were long-lost lovers,” she added.

Remember: It’s a lot easier to be the best version of yourself over text. Not only do we tend to be more confident behind a screen, but we have plenty of time to weave together smart, quippy responses. The best thing to do is not to make any snap judgments on a first date, as there are lots of factors (mainly nerves) that can come into play and throw off your chemistry. Give your date a chance to relax, and time will tell whether or not the chemistry is still there IRL.

*Name has been changed.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please like, comment, share, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Hot Girl On Tinder Might Be A Hooker

Escort reveals she uses the dating app to find prospective clients

LIKE millions of single women, Lilly Chatte flicks through the Tinder dating
app on her phone hoping to find men in her area.

But she is not looking for a new boyfriend, she’s on the hunt for customers.
Single men willing to pay her for sex.

The university student, 22, is one of a growing number of prostitutes to use
Tinder to find clients and claims to have made £10,000 through the app in
the five months she’s been on the game.

Lilly — not her real name — says: “Men will always pay for sex. All the men I’ve met on Tinder solely want to meet for sex, they don’t want to date.

“I charge $60 for 15 minutes, $80 for 30 minutes, and $100 for an hour. I’m making so much money now I work out of a hotel.

“On a busy day, I entertain up to ten men within 24 hours, but usually just
three or four.”

Tinder has changed the face of online dating in the past few years and now
boasts more than 450 million profiles worldwide.

The app offers users the chance to meet fellow singles living nearby and
analyzes their Facebook profiles to find potential matches.

Those using the app are then presented with candidates and swipe right on
their smartphone screen to approve and left to reject.

If both parties approve of one another, they are then able to chat and arrange a date.

But Lilly says many of the men she meets are not looking for a meal out or a
trip to the cinema — with 50 percent of her matches becoming paying clients.

She adds: “I signed up to an adult website and then heard about Tinder through another escort. I didn’t realize it attracted guys who were willing to pay for dates.

“Studying isn’t cheap so I decided to take up escorting part-time as a quick
and easy way to subsidize my course.

“I make it clear that I am an escort very quickly when communicating with men on Tinder and very few have been shocked enough to stop contact.

“Many say that they have never paid for sex before, but when I tell them my
prices they are often still interested.”

Lilly’s Tinder profile strapline describes her as a “nice friendly girl who is
looking for some fun”. It adds: “If you want to spend hot time together, you
found the right person.”

She says: “I figured somewhere within my description of myself guys would
realize I was willing to provide services, as opposed to dating for free.

“Sure enough, within just a few minutes of setting up my profile, I had guys
asking whether I’d be willing to meet up.

“I didn’t mess around, I just told them straight that I didn’t date for free
and the next day I had my first paying client.

“If the guy wants something kinky, I charge more. I get over $1,000 for
overnight bookings and up to $3,000 for weekends away.

“If someone wants me to go to their house or hotel, it’s $130.”

Tinder Dating App logo

One bonus of using Tinder, Lilly says, is that because it grabs information
from Facebook, the app will tell her if she shares any mutual friends with a
potential client – helping to avoid awkward situations.

She explains: “Most guys just want some no strings adult fun and book me for an hour or two.

“Tinder is really handy for this because it sources singles who live near you,
so guys don’t have to travel far to come and meet me for a short period of
time. When I book in clients through the adult site they’re normally married
and I feel really bad for their wives.

“That’s not nice, so I try to stick to Tinder.”

But Lilly, from Gatwick, West Sussex, admits that using the app to find
punters have brought some odd people into her bed.

She adds: “One guy arrived with a knife and a bin bag and asked if he could
cut me up and put my body parts in the bag.

“Thankfully he left quietly when I insisted he made a swift exit.

“Some guys arrive with drugs on them, in which case I politely ask them to
leave immediately.

“Another client complained he hadn’t had his full hour’s worth and threatened to phone his mum. I just had to laugh.” Despite those encounters, Lilly says she has met some “really great guys” using Tinder, but she insists that she is not yet ready to find herself a steady relationship.

She says: “If I were to settle down and meet a proper boyfriend on a dating
site I’d get bored within a few weeks and I’d want to start playing the
field and experimenting again.

“The guys that come to see me know exactly what they’re getting and leave
satisfied, that’s more than most men can say after a Tinder date.”

Tinder did not respond to our requests for comment.

Tinder conversation

‘I get what I want and no dates’

STUDENT Mark, 22, has been a prolific Tinder user since splitting with his
last girlfriend earlier this year — and has also hooked up with more than
one prostitute, he met through the app.

He says: “I’ve not been interested in relationships since my last girlfriend
dumped me. I did try some dating sites, but I had no success.

“One of my best pals told me about Tinder and I found it much more useful
right from the start. It was light-hearted, welcoming, and also very
addictive. I found myself browsing all night when I first joined.

“I’ve met up with a few girls from Tinder so far, but the first experience was
a wee bit awkward as the girl I’d been chatting to was an escort.

“When I first met her online she was very friendly and fun-loving, and there was a real sexual spark between us.

“We told each other all about ourselves, exchanged numbers, and then she
mentioned that she was an escort. Just like that.

“At first I was so gutted, but on the other hand, I had wanted to try new
things. That was part of the reason I joined the site in the first place.

“I didn’t want to visit prostitutes, so meeting someone I knew more about but still strictly for ‘business’ was a perfect option for me — and it was one
of the most monumental sexual experiences, I’ve ever had.

I enjoyed my time with her so much I have continued to see her whenever I can, normally once a month. We keep in touch on a weekly basis and she sends me photos from her holidays.

“There is another escort I met on Tinder who I see every so often. But I
wouldn’t want to visit more than two girls at any one time because even
though I’m paying for their services, I do feel you develop a relationship.

“I’d say I’ve spent almost $2,000 on hookers so far, but I don’t mind as I
know I’ll get what I want and there are no boring dates or awkward silences.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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10 Brilliant Pick Up Lines That Work On Tinder

Here’s a cute little collection.

There are some who do underestimate the role of these messages or just fail to recognize it. However for the majority of us it is just so difficult to master those game-changing lines of online communication.

We feel pressure because we surely want to bring out our best self. Maybe you want them to think of you as confident, friendly, mysterious or funny. The challenge is how can you say so much of yourself within just a few phrases?

What you have to do is to change your view and approach about messaging on Tinder. There are surely different ways you can achieve this, but the following list of Ten Best Tinder Openers Which Work on Tinder compiled will help you get there in no time.

Do you believe in love at first swipe?

If there’s a thing that turns on every girl on this planet is definitely confidence. Girls fall for guys who are enough confident on themselves to express their feelings, opinions and intentions whatever the consequences. This message contains the word love which is related to serious long-term intentions so it will make the girl feel special and loved. Plus it is a question and questions have this potential of making someone thinking over it unintentionally. Last but not least it has a much-needed dose of humor which helps you to appear more funny and attractive.

Really dude, are you a trash because I would like to take you out?

In terms of emotions, most guys tend to be monotonous. This is to say they only prefer a certain range of emotions. Girls on the other side are prone to experience a full spectrum of emotions. They look for guys who can make them feel an emotional rollercoaster. This pickup line does exactly the same thing. At first the girl might get irritated but at an instant she will see your point and want to keep the conversation going on. Again you appear very funny which is a plus for your attractiveness. If her reaction is positive don’t hesitate to ask her for a date.

It seems God has given you everything except my number

Girls adore flirtatious guys but not at the cost of their own pride. They just don’t want to be seen as easy targets. For some girls asking them directly to go on a date might ruin your chances. In such cases, finding another alternative route is the best idea. This is why this pickup line works on Tinder. She will think of you as very committed to achieve your goals but also cautious to respect her.

I have lost my phone number so I was guessing if I can use yours

Similar to the one above, this is one of the very best pickup lines on Tinder that will get you a date. Instead of stating your intentions straight which for some girls might not work as expected getting her number first is a great deal. Think about it: you would give your phone number to somebody unless you like that person or have a feeling there might be a chemistry between you. Communication through phone will help you a lot because it engages another sense: hearing. It is a perfect way to spark an initial reciprocal interest. Once you get her phone number you can spend some time communicating through your phone and as the conversation keeps going you can ask her for a date.

Can I ask you a question? Oh sorry two questions because I already made one.

Funny, polite and bold. This is the impression she will have for you once you send her this message. Questions are a magic tool to make someone curious especially with girls. But the problem is most girls receive tons of messages of guys seeking permission to ask for something. Nobody owes you an answer. The second part of this pickup line will give you the advantage if not for anything else it’s because will make her laugh and girls love to laugh a lot.

I’ve never seen more beautiful eyes than yours. I wonder if they look the same in real life.

Compliment is a typical flirtatious behavior especially when it’s done at the right time on a proper way. Girls fall easy for compliments because it makes them feel beautiful, desired and confident. She probably hears lots of different compliments but there is hardly any thing else that can move her heart than a poetic, romantic and sexy compliment about her eyes. Because as the saying goes “eyes are a window to one’s spirit”. What’s even good about these words is that establish a sort of invisible addiction so she won’t just skip that message but we’ll keep herself engaged and you can then convince her on a date.

Hey sweetie would you like to be my Tinderella?

If you would be able to delve deeper into the mind of your Tinder crush, you would find that there still lives a little Cinderella who dreams of being the starring role on her own fairytale story. A message like this will uncounscily make her wonder if you’re the prince she’s been waiting for and will definitely agree to go on a date with. Give it a shot.

What is your ideal format for a date? Mine is DD/MM/YY.

Expressing your intentions straight is a sign of confidence, openness and sincerity. Girls do appreciate these personality traits and they would not hesitate to go on a date with a guy who is like that. In addition, when all these combine with your unique sense of humor it is almost for sure that you’re on her list of guys who she would definitely have a talk in real life.

I thought angels belong to paradise but since you’re here, let’s go on a date.

Trust your intuition. If you think she’s kind of a person who believes on first-sight love stories or those played on movies a strong romantic expression will reframe her thought patterns toward you. Pay attention to how this message is formulated. It would have a little different meaning if you would say it like “but since you’re here can we go on a date?”. That’s because her irrational thinking would start making calculations whether you would be a perfect “match” or not. You won’t appear as arrogant because the first part of the sentence is your alibi. It is a way of saying “look, I feel like we’ve been created for each other and I’m decided to make this thing happening”. Ready to love but never to give up, simple as that.

Are you a vegan? Because I would definitely like to meet you.

Just pray she’s not vegan because if otherwise then this pickup line message would make your chances of having a date with date girl disappear. If she’s not then it will create your image of funny and creative guy with whom everyone would like to spend time with. She will feel desired and might try to act like a hard-to-get chick, but a few moments later she will admit she finds you interesting and will eventually accept to go on a date with you.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Is Using Dating Apps For Validation A Bad Thing? Here’s The Verdict

On the heels of a bad breakup, Kristina, 27, wasn’t ready to find a new partner just yet. She wanted an easy, drama-free way to boost her confidence — so she downloaded Tinder Gold, a paid Tinder upgrade that lets users swipe through people who have already swiped right on them. “I had a bruised ego … so I loved the idea of getting to pick from men who picked me first,” she remembers. “But most of all, it was a ginormous ego boost.” Kristina found herself using dating apps for validation, with no real intention of pursuing anyone she met online. “Every single time I swiped on a hot guy from the group, it was a match,” she explains. “I was so flattered.”

Kristina was using apps mostly to feel good about herself — and it turns out, this practice is pretty common. According to an October 2019 study by MTV News & MTV Insights, 61% of respondents (ages 18-29) said they’re more interested in discovering who is attracted to them online than actually going out with anyone. That statistic suggests dating apps are basically a forum for public affirmation. And the reason why is obvious — it’s exciting to get that adrenaline rush when you receive a flirty message from someone hot. It’s similar to the validation you feel when you post a fire selfie that racks up tons of appreciative comments on Instagram. Everyone has insecurities, and hearing positive feedback from others can temporarily soothe some of that self-doubt.

“While we are using dating apps in the name of finding love, there’s also a selfishness that appears to be there,” Terron Moore, vice president and editorial director of MTV News, the site that conducted the study, tells Elite Daily. “And I don’t even know that you could blame anyone for that. I think we’re all self-interested in our own way.” He notes that although the study results showed a majority of people are looking for validation, this isn’t mutually exclusive with seeking out a partner. Forty-two percent of respondents said they’re looking for a long-term relationship, and 30% are looking to date people casually — even though they may be hoping to build their self-esteem as well.

Young woman chating or messaging while using her mobile phone or her smart phone during her travelling or waiting the train in the train station

Shutterstock

Kristina admits that her dating spree made her feel “selfish” at times, but she still believes the experience helped her through a difficult phase of her life. “Using dating apps and seeing just how many guys there are out there who would date me helped me feel desirable again after being in a relationship that made me feel so unwanted and lonely,” she says. “I’m not proud of relying on male validation for confidence — and it was just one piece of the puzzle — but it definitely accelerated the process.” Though she planned on staying single for awhile, she met a guy after two months who she “fell hard and fast” for. Now, one year later, they’re still happily together.

Using apps as a confidence boost can also help people keep their romantic prospects at an emotional distance. For Courtney, 24, using Bumble and Hinge for validation is a way for her to protect herself from heartbreak. “I deal with a lot of insecurity [and] anxiety around my romantic relationships, so by using the app more so for validation, I can control the narrative and my feelings.” she explains. She recently matched with one of her college crushes, and she felt comfortable knowing she could end the conversation whenever she wanted to. “It works short-term, kind of like the junk food of a dating life?” she says. “It gives you the rush of knowing someone likes you, without having to deal with the actual relationship or risk getting hurt.”

According to relationship therapist Rachel Zar, many people use apps for validation because this practice feels safe and easily accessible. “The risk — both emotionally and physically — feels low,” she tells Elite Daily. “And the hit of dopamine we get — if short-lived — feels really good.” Without even leaving the house, you can access hundreds of potential matches who will tell you over and over again how attractive they find you. And there’s no real danger in chatting with them through the app, where you can always block their profile if you start to get uncomfortable.

It’s not inherently bad to feel flattered by compliments, Zar says. It only becomes a problem when external validation starts to affect the way you feel about yourself. “It becomes unhealthy when it feels as though you’re relying on how many messages or matches you get to dictate your entire self worth,” she says. “Self-esteem that’s determined by the opinions of others is precarious; it can just as easily be given to us as it is taken away.” You should have confidence in yourself regardless of how others feel about you — otherwise, swiping through dating apps might feel like putting a Band-Aid over a deeper wound. It helps momentarily, but it doesn’t actually combat your insecurities.

IT’S NOT INHERENTLY BAD TO FEEL FLATTERED BY COMPLIMENTS. IT ONLY BECOMES A PROBLEM WHEN EXTERNAL VALIDATION STARTS TO AFFECT THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF.

Tracie, 24, found herself in this predicament when she was trying to get over an ex. “My coping mechanism to deal with a breakup would be to distract myself with getting back on the apps instead of just dealing and healing my emotions first,” she tells Elite Daily. “I would quickly get back onto the apps and find myself a rebound … but it didn’t work! I’d still have feelings for my ex, and it would cloud up my new relationship.” She ultimately decided she needed to stop until she had healed from the split on her own. “I definitely was using the apps as a crutch to make me feel like I was still worthy,” she says. “If I keep bringing all the lingering vibes from my last relationship without clearing them, I’m not going to be able to fully commit to another person and be capable of having a healthy relationship. I wanted to stop the cycle and heal myself!”

Tracie was onto something, according to Zar: Seeking out validation can sometimes get in the way of finding a healthy relationship. “It’s important to try to develop self esteem that comes from within instead of from others,” Zar tells Elite Daily. “This means developing a sense of what it means to you to be worthy or to succeed based on your own value system.” And only you can really know how to walk that line. If it means you have to pull back from dating apps for awhile while you work on loving yourself, that could help you come back to the dating scene more aware of what you want in a partner.

Zar suggests setting small, actionable life goals for yourself that you can easily accomplish and can be proud of. “Set yourself up for success by creating goals that actually feel achievable,” she says, “and have tons of self-compassion for the fact that sometimes we all fall short.” Take care of your physical health by prioritizing sleep, social time, and mental space to pursue your passions. You can also consider resources like therapy to help you work through any painful past experiences that might be affecting the way you see yourself now.

AS photo studio/Shutterstock

Besides the fact that using apps for validation can make you feel worse, you might also be leading people on by doing it. According to the MTV study, 43% of people have swiped right on someone who they were not physically attracted to, and 39% have talked with someone they had no intention of meeting in person. For those people who really do want to meet up with their matches, this leads to a frustrating uncertainty about the intentions of others. By chatting only with people you’re genuinely interested in, you can avoid deceiving them.

Moore explains that in some ways, having competing online dating goals — seeking validation vs. seeking love — can be counter-productive. “There does seem to be a gulf between being on dating apps to find love and being on dating apps to feel that self-validation,” he says. Focusing too much on getting that immediate confidence boost can detract you from your goal of finding a real relationship that translates off-line.

But first and foremost, make sure you aren’t relying on apps to mask an underlying feeling of unworthiness. You don’t need Tinder matches to make you feel beautiful, just like you don’t need a partner to make you feel whole. There’s nothing wrong with a little shameless flirting with someone you genuinely are attracted to, as long as it fills your cup rather than making you feel empty. The only person who can truly make you feel loved and valuable is you.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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