Kita – Chapter 54 – Appearance – Part 1

“Funny how everybody wants to be dark, but nobody really wants to be black.”

I settle the cash register drawer. I take the profits, wrap them in a receipt and drop them in the safe in the office. Every room’s been swept and mopped. (I know I said I didn’t care but I’m dedicated to any job I always do.) The laundry’s done and the trash has been taken out.

Normally I would gather my stuff and head out.

But today is different.

Because Kita’s in a stand up tanning bed getting tan. I haven’t seen her in months and the last time I saw her was insane.

I should have seen those encounters coming. What did I think? A naive inexperienced young girl leans on me for support and I exploit it. I feel horrible. I’m a dad. I should’ve never let that happen.

Why did I go on all of those little dates with her? Why did I buy her all of those little gifts?

This a young girl who was adopted into a wealthy family. She’s lived a sheltered life. She went to a private school for girls.

She has no clue when it comes to navigating affairs of the heart.

She had a loser boyfriend that grew tired of her and dumped her before her freshman year at university.

He was her first love and she lost her virginity to him. They both didn’t even realize what they had with each other.

Sure, she’s a zero, but I’ve seen pictures of him. The usual thumb. I use the word thumb because my friend Molly used that to once describe a guy that was a nothing. I like that. Hold up your thumb. That’s him. A nothing.

She doesn’t know any better. She’s 22. No clue.

I look back on myself at that age and you think you knew better, and then you realize your whole life was run by desire, emotion, inexperience and privilege.

You have no idea at 22 what life’s really like.

It’s so much more complicated than that, but only if you make it that way. With relationships, and possessions.

Life can be simple if you want it, but most people when they’re young don’t want that.

It’s sad, really.

The shoes with the red soles. The hand bags with the MK, LV, or Coach on them. So sad. So empty. You’re just a walking advertisement of assumed affluence.

You sad fools.

That idea of success, and affluence, when really you just got ripped off by a large corporation that sold you and idea that buying their shitty stuff made you look rich and successful.

That’s the world today.

Our social media that shows the greatest hits, and hides all of the fear, loss and debt most people have.

It’s all a lie.

 

I look at the timer and Kita’s been cooking in the booth for eight minutes. She’ll be out soon. Of course she does the full nine minutes to ensure she’s dark enough.

Funny how everybody wants to be dark, but nobody really wants to be black.

I’m in an odd moment here on a Sunday at the salon.

I thought by now I’d have some sort of business partnership with Achilles. Turns out it was all just careless talk at a tanning salon. After everything we discussed for the last year and a half… NOTHING came out of it.

I’m not bitter. I get it. Achilles is stuck in the past and has the inability to recognize a real opportunity when it’s presented to him. Sadly, because of who he is, he can have the best employee that he’s ever had working for him, and he’ll simply treat them like they’re any other $9 employee he’s ever had.

His ignorance to elegance doesn’t surprise me.

Sadly, I left corporate America and the rat race, but actually fell into a similar situation. My talent squandered by ignorance or sadly… jealousy.

So same thing, but in an entirely different business.

But happily, I adapted and found a better job to make my life extremely better from learning how to do this kind of job. I’m so… grateful.

Not to Achilles. But to myself.

Poor Achilles.

He’s a sad cliche. Greek. 50. Balding and always wears a hat to hide it. Works out and eats crazy supplements all the time. The 30-year-old girlfriend he’s been banging since she was 22. He’s been clear on no kids, so this poor girl never gets that with his misogynist. Never talks about his ex-wife, or his other two sons. owns a $20k Italian motorcycle. also has a red 90’s Z28, with a booming stereo and an exhaust that is extra loud. Don’t get me started on the outdoor jacuzzi….

Here is a man who’s trapped in his no game/no personality teen life, who fears aging.

I thought this was my key out of the corporate rat race and it didn’t happen.

But this story has a happy ending.

I get out in the final reel of this movie.

 

Kita will be out in a minute and now I have to deal with her.

 

Where the fuck is this going?

 

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Amelia – Chapter 4 – Double Agent

It’s Monday and we’re busy as hell. I’m cranking the counter at the salon and Amelia is running around cleaning beds.

Tis the season at the salon. We are in full swing and Amelia is stepping up to the challenge.

April through July is insane in here and that’s why she’s here. I’m grateful and we’re working well as a team.

New people are signing up and the regulars are rolling in. It is non-stop mayhem. This is the busy season. I’m so happy to have Amelia here now. She’s great as I’ve written before. But she’s on top of the cleaning and the laundry. She’s what I need. I must keep the customer service up.

Waves of clients come in to tan. We get hit with three waves of people. Non-stop tanning. We feel the urgency and it makes us want to tan ourselves.

We agree that when this crazy night ends we’re going tanning, which is fun.

I have been a die-hard slave to this place for two years and haven’t tanned in two months.

I hired Amelia and Eileen. Part of their deal is they get to tan for free as long as they’re employed. Both girls have jumped on the tanning wagon. I realized I couldn’t be the pale old white guy and dove into tanning with great vigor.

I started tanning like a maniac and love the results. I’m getting brown as a penny, and I’m even using a sticker to track my progress.

I hope Cherie appreciates the white heart on my pubic mound. Because that’s where it is.

Yea, I did that. A sweet white heart above my angry cock, but we are talking about my 24 year old co-worker so lets tap the brakes on tanning.

I really like working with Nicole. I actually like her better than Eileen. She’s older, and more mature and just so much greater depth that her teenage counterpart.

Plus, I spend more days with Nicole and I just like her better. I feel I can be honest with her the more I know her.

Amelia wants to start dating again.

She’s new to the city and lives in a studio with her cat. (Not good. As we know at phicklephilly!)

But if you’ve followed her series, she’s great and there’s so much hope and growth here.

She gives me a great reveal during our conversations.

“So you’re back on Bumble. That’s good.”

“I matched with this person but she seems like high maintenance.”

“You like Garret but…”

“What happened to your last relationship?”

“She didn’t trust me.”

“Wait. What?”

“I’m bisexual.”

“So is my sort of girlfriend.”

“Cool. Yea she fucked me over. We were together two years and have been split for nine months.”

“I’m sorry. So you’re even on both buckets. Your next love could be a guy or a girl?

“Yes.”

“Does your family know?”

“No.”

8th child in an Irish Catholic family based in central Pennsylvania.

Here’s a lovely girl that I absolutely adore. I love working with her. I love her work ethic in all that she does. I love her honesty and integrity.

I’m fascinated by the blessing that’s come upon our salon with these two wonderful women.

As much as I love Eileen as my hire and her savvy on the computer and her obvious beauty, I love Amelia more.

We’ve had some intimate conversations. I told her things about me. (No idea why but kind of love it.)

She told me she’s bisexual.

I instantly loved that.

Amelia is such a great employee and a wonderful person. We spoke about this at length and I’m glad she trusted me enough to confide.

I wish I knew more people like Amelia.

An elegant woman who was completely okay with her sexuality and able to love everyone.

I’m fascinated by her but do not look upon her as an oddity. A beautiful woman, born into a family of ten. They all have dark hair and baby daughter Amelia is blonde and blue-eyed.

And she’s kind of gay.

We’re all kind of gay. We just refuse to accept it.

But our Amelia has decided to tell me about her journey and I’m honored that she trusts me enough to tell her story.

I’d never do anything to hurt her or her reputation. (I’ve already told her some crazy gay shit from my childhood and she may even hook me up with a hot, passable TS)

A blog post I will celebrate on every social media site!

That’ll be amazing.

But after all of this… We went to Square 1682.

Church was there. He’s on point with burgers and insane drink recommendations. (See: Church – Brand Ambassador)

Amelia had a Sazerac and sipped a bit of it and I got her calamari.

I plowed three Chardonnays with ice like I always do and my favorite bartender Roman was on point. (See: Roman – Rock n Roll Bartender)

The night was good and its good for Church to talk to real girls. That’s all I bring. Fresh, nice girls that are fun to talk to. Church needs the practice .

Amelia’s cocktail, calamari, and my 3 Chardonnays all equal to $12 bucks. Total hookup.

I send Amelia home and tell her I got it because it’s all free. She loves this and for the first time feels the power that is the CHAZ.

We were in the salon tonight and she’s already talking about making a date for Gran Cafe La Aquila for the gelato.

Amelia wants this.

I know so much more about Amelia now. She’s equal for boys and girls. I look forward to more adventures.

It seems insane but phicklephilly writes itself…

 

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My Husband Has Admitted To Having Feelings For A Woman At Work, But Says He Still Loves Me. Should I Worry?

Here’s a post from on of my female followers. I thought it was worth sharing.

If I had to name the most common place where infidelity happens, it would be at the work place. I would say that the vast majority of the correspondence that I get about cheating and affairs happen in a work place setting. And I often hear from people who are concerned about a relationship that they see forming at their spouse’s job.

I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “I had a strong suspicion that my husband was developing feelings for a woman at his work every time I saw the two of them together. I also couldn’t help but notice that he constantly talked about her and often mentioned them having lunch together, sometimes without others present. When I confronted him about this, at first he denied that anything was wrong. He said that they were just colleagues who had a lot of projects together. But later, I found some texts from her that were very flirty in nature. So, once again, I confronted him and he continued to deny everything. But this time, I continued to press him and eventually, he broke down and admitted that he had “strong romantic feelings” for this woman, but insisted that he still loved me and was committed to our marriage and therefore, would never act on his feelings. My husband has never lied to me, so I want to believe him. But in the back of my mind, I wonder if I should be worried about this. It’s not a good sign when your husband admits to having romantic feelings for someone else. So what should I do about this? Am I right to worry?”

I believe that the wife was right to feel concerned. From all of the correspondence that I get that outline affairs (even only emotional ones) at work, I can tell you that feelings that aren’t even acted upon can absolutely seriously harm your marriage. Not only that, but it’s not at all uncommon for people to eventually act upon these feelings even when they never intended to do so. And finally, sometimes people will insist that they only have feelings, when in fact they are trying to spare the feelings of their spouse by denying an affair (emotional or physical) that actually does exist.

Sometimes when I share my feelings on this, I’m accused of being paranoid or distrustful. But, I think that I’d rather someone be paranoid but proactive than being trusting but later very sorry when they’re trying to recover from full-fledged infidelity. It’s easier to prevent an affair than to recover from one, in my experience and opinion.

What To Do When Your Husband Admits To Having Feelings For Someone Else, But Denies Acting On These Feelings: This is only my opinion from my own experience, but I believe that just sitting back and hoping for the best is a mistake that I see happening over and over again. You can still make every attempt to believe and trust your spouse while being proactive about saving and safe guarding your marriage. When your husband has admitted to feeling romantic and loving toward someone else (who he sees and interacts with on a close and personal level every day,) then my feeling is that you are justified in taking action.

One suggestion might be to see if your husband can stop having to work so closely with her. Can he transfer, move to another department or partner with someone else? This may sound drastic, but again it’s usually much easier to prevent infidelity than the heal or recover from it. And, if you get resistance from your husband, then this will give you some important clues as to how he really feels and how invested he is in any close relationship with her.

Another thing that you will want to consider is strengthening and safe guarding your marriage. You want to make sure that things are very good at home so that he won’t have any reason to lament his marriage or talk about what it lacks with this other woman. You want to make it so that the two of you are as connected as you can possibly be. And, it’s certainly not a bad idea to swing by and have lunch with him as much as you possibly can. After all, when he’s having lunch with you, he won’t be meeting with her and she will see that your marriage is his reality and that it is solid and still very much in tact.

You also might want to look at where your marriage is vulnerable. Many women will deny that there are issues or problems, but I would argue that if your husband is developing feelings for someone else, then there are likely issues somewhere. There are likely vulnerabilities that you may not have considered or noticed, but which are most certainly coming into play. And again, if your husband is resistant to exploring these issues to strengthen your marriage, this might be indicative or what is truly going on with him and how deep his commitment really is to her or to you and your marriage. Because men will sometimes say words of reassurance, only to lack the actions to follow them through in the end.

This is not always the case, of course. Sometimes, a husband will do exactly what you’ve asked of him and the relationship or feelings for the other woman will fizzle out once you prioritize your marriage. However, to answer the question posed, yes, I do feel that there are plenty of reasons to worry, be concerned, or at least pay attention when your husband admits having feelings for someone else, even if he swears he’d never act on them. In my view, it’s better to be concerned and to take swift action than to vow not to worry, only to regret it later.

I know from experience that it’s easier to strengthen your marriage than it is to recover from an affair. My husband was unfaithful during the course of his job and I just didn’t see it coming. Since you have a warning and a head’s up, you don’t need to allow this to happen to you.

 

Thanks. I hope this was helpful. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this piece.

 

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So, You Want To Date An Entrepreneur? Here’s How

So, You Want To Date An Entrepreneur? Here’s How…

Being with an entrepreneur can be very challenging, well, because we’re not normal! We’re a very different breed, from the way we think to the way we carry ourselves.

Entrepreneurs spend a lot of time thinking up new ideas and creating things out of nothing.

It’s extremely difficult to connect with one, but when you do, there are some things you must know if you don’t want your relationship to be a rollercoaster.

Well, what do I mean by that? Let me tell you how to date an entrepreneur…

 

Have a life of your own

When dating an entrepreneur, it is important to not be too needy and to have a life of your own.

Don’t get upset if we’re not texting you back or can’t stay on the phone with you all day. It’s nothing personal, we’re just busy!

Entrepreneurs literally can’t afford to spend all day with you, so it’s crucial that you have something going for yourself to keep occupied.

However, when it comes to spending time and going on dates, rest assured that the time will be well spent and truly of quality!

 

Help or get out of the way!

Entrepreneurs are extremely busy, and we wear many hats! With that being said, it is insanely challenging to keep track of all that we have to do!

We honestly don’t have time for any whining or complaining.

If there’s anything that you can do to lighten up your entrepreneur bae’s load, then by all means, do it!

If your partner needs a book of stamps, go get them!

If he/she has a ton of packages to send off, but is occupied with other things, offer to send off the packages for them!

Go the extra mile! You’ll not only be appreciated, but we’ll probably love you forever.

 

Be supportive

Understand that dating an entrepreneur is nothing like dating someone who works a traditional nine to five.

We don’t get to work for eight hours then relax! We’re always working!

Be mindful of this and understand that we will make time for you, but first, we need to take care of business!

Many times, things don’t go as planned, and starting out, money isn’t always flowing!

Just be there and let your partner know that you support him/her in whatever it is they’re doing, and you two will get a lot further!

The truth is, as entrepreneurs, we never get tired of talking about the empire that we’re trying so hard to build, and an ideal partner is someone who will never get bored listening!

If you can be that person, be faithful and supportive, then there’s no way that the relationship can fail!

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice – Create a Professional Image for Under $20

We constantly preach that looks and style matter very little in the pickup game.  Your body language, Alpha Male presence, and ability to create sexual attraction is what ultimately will win over any woman. In the world of business and social networking, your appearance matters just a little bit more, as impressions are made within the first four seconds of meeting a potential client or business partner, and those crucial first four seconds will make the difference between you closing the deal and you looking for a new line of work.

In a business setting you always want to dress to impress, and by this I mean you want to out dress your client by about 15%.  If you out dress them too much you may make them feel uncomfortable and if you under dress you will appear lazy, sloppy, and unbusinesslike.  15% means if they wear jeans and a t-shirt, you wear a button up shirt.  If they wear a button up shirt, you add a tie.  This goes in hand with knowing who your client is, just like in the pickup game, the know you more about your potential target, (cold reading, observations, profiling) the better chance you have at succeeding with said target.

Sooner or later throughout your conversation with a woman, it will come around to what kind of work you do.  For those of you with a really sweet job you probably have already told her twenty times what you do for a living, which is annoying in itself, but if she’s still asking you questions about your line of work, she probably digs it.  If you are the one who keeps bringing it up, she’s bored of you and in another five minutes or so you’ll be telling some other girl what you do for a living.

Now what if you have a real crappy job, or no job at all.  Well you can still create a professional appearance, and for under $20.  What’s the secret?  Business cards.  Not just any kind of business card, a card to promote you.  Because in the pick up scene what are you doing?  Promoting yourself to potential women, right? To quote the late great comedian Mitch Hedberg, “I got a business card because I want to win some lunches.  That’s what my business card says, “Mitch Hedgerg, Potential Lunch Winner.  Give me a call, maybe we’ll have lunch, if I’m lucky!””

So create a business card to promote yourself.  Let’s say you’ve just gotten yourself a girl’s number and she asks for yours.  Instead of being like everyone else and typing it into her phone, say, “Let me give you my business card.”  She’ll definitely remember you.  If you’re a student, how many other cheese dicks out there do you know who have a business card? Zero. Because it is something that’s reserved for professionals.  As girls come close to their senior year of college, who do you think they will pay more attention to, the frat boy or the guy with the professional image who actually looks like he’ll be successful after he graduates?

What better way to make new contacts than to hand them a business card after meeting them? Especially if you’re looking for a job. You won’t always be carrying your folder of resumes around, but you can easily have 10 business cards in your pocket.

Now I know what you’re thinking, where do I get mine?  Well, there are two things to remember at first, who is going to design it, and who is going to print it.  The first option to do is design it yourself.  You can buy business cards at any office depot that will fit in your home printer, download a template for word and create and your own.  It’s quick and easy and it’s how I used to do mine, but after wasting all my ink and my printer jamming for the hundredth time, I decided to go online.  Just google business cards and find a site online that will print them for you.  They’ll look better, they have pre-made templates where all you have to do is type in your information and a week later your cards will arrive in the mail.  The choice is yours, and now you know.

 

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