15 Things to Know Before Moving in With Your Boyfriend

Are you moving in with your boyfriend? Well, good for you! But here are a few things you need to keep in mind to have that perfect romantic start.

Moving in with your boyfriend can seem more like fun and less like a big life altering decision.

While moving in is fun, it’s also something you need to give a lot of thought.

So do you know if he’s a great guy?

Do you think both of you will have a perfect relationship after you move in?

Will you moving in lead to a proposal and babies soon?

The only way to really know for sure is to try it, right?

Moving in with your boyfriend

No relationship is the same, and when it comes to moving in too, no experience will ever be the same.

But there are a few things that are common while moving in together.

There are right moves. And then, there are a few wrong moves.

If you want to make sure that both of you set off on a perfectly romantic start after moving in together, here are a few things you need to talk about with your boyfriend, and ask yourself the real answers.

5 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE MOVING IN

If you haven’t moved in just yet, give these pointers a deep thought. Sometimes, it’s the little things you overlook that can play the biggest part.

#1 Set ground rules. It may seem trivial and unnecessary, but it’ll save both of you from confusions and frustrations later. Setting clear ground rules can help both of you talk about faults and confusions without arguments. Unless you make rules, there’s no way to tell why the frustrations began in the first place.

#2 Be sure of your decision. Are you completely sure you want to move in with your boyfriend? Take time to decide about it and weigh all the options. It’s alright to feel confused as long as you’re excited about moving in together. Don’t let infatuation cloud your judgment though.

#3 Consider your independence. Moving in together is something that is inevitable when you’re in love. It can happen now or it can happen a few years down the lane. You may be in love with your sweetheart, but are you in the right frame of mind and have the intellectual maturity to give up on your own freedom just to share some bedroom space with your lover?

#4 How is your boyfriend really? Is he a great guy? Do you really see yourself walking down the aisle with him years from now? If your boyfriend’s gentle and considerate of your feelings, it’s a safe plunge. But if he’s domineering or wants things his way, ask yourself if he’s really the one for you.

#5 Can both of you take joint decisions? The decisions in the relationship have to be taken jointly no matter what. Both of you should agree on that before moving in. Everything from deciding on monthly expenses to hanging out with friends has to be taken jointly without arguments.

10 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT AFTER MOVING IN

Have you moved in already? It’s not too late. Here are a few more things you should consider to have a perfectly romantic relationship.

#1 Be prepared to see his not-so-nice side. All of us show off our good sides when we’re with someone. But it takes living with someone to see their real side. Your boyfriend may have a few flaws or differences from your behavior. It’s not weird. He’s just being himself.

#2 Split the household chores. Give this a serious thought even if it’s toe curling and awkward to talk about. Create a list of necessary chores and split the chores right down the middle unless one of you is willing to take on more responsibility. But unless there’s a real good reason to unfairly split the chores like one working partner and one homemaker, try to keep it balanced.

#3 Take time to settle in. Dating is very different from moving in together. When you move in, you’re practically living with each other 24/7. Accept the fact that the relationship can feel different at the beginning. He may have pampered you like a princess until now, but now that you’ve both moved in, he may expect you to be more handy and less like a damsel in distress.

#4 Talk about the differences. You and your boyfriend are not two peas in a pod. Both of you are two individuals with different wants and interests. So talk about your differences and lifestyle choices with your boyfriend. When you move in together, both of you have to make a few compromises, be it watching a favorite show on the television or deciding how many times to go out in a week.

#5 Learn to forgive. When you move in together, there are bound to be a few differences and misunderstandings at the beginning. You and your boyfriend have to take the pains to go out of your ways to help the other person feel comfortable in the new environment. And if mistakes do happen, learn to forgive.

#6 Always communicate. Talk about your feelings, it’s really the right thing to do after moving in together. Forgive those little mistakes, but talk about it with your boyfriend and let him know what’s on your mind. Misunderstandings are good, because they help your boyfriend understand you better. But conflicts just aren’t any help in the relationship. Avoid conflicts, but communicate each other’s thoughts.

#7 His friends and yours. Both of you have to avoid bringing friends over to your place often for a couple of weeks or months. Take time to understand each other and live with each other before bringing confusions and new people into the house.

#8 Avoid creating insecurities. You may be dating for a while, but moving in together is a fragile stage in the relationship. Can you stop calling or texting other guys late into the night if it makes your boyfriend uncomfortable? Sometimes, insecurities in a relationship increase when people move in together. It takes a few sacrifices, reassurances and communication to test the waters of moving in together.

#9 Talk about money. Talk about money, individual savings and expenditures. Some things are better left out in the open than brushed under the carpet. Moving in is like a little marriage experiment. It can help both of you experience the reality of marriage before taking the plunge.

#10 Be serious. Living together with your boyfriend is no joke, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s better to consider it seriously and live seriously than look at it as an easy way to spend more time with each other or have more sex. Making any mistakes here will only force both of you apart. Be serious about the relationship and work together as a couple instead of two individuals.

Moving in with your boyfriend is just like getting married, without the license. Keep these 15 tips in mind and your next step together will be a walk in the clouds. Get these wrong, and one of you could nip a perfect relationship in the bud.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

My Family – Lorelei – 11/17/1996 to Present – The Apple of My Eye

When I began writing this story, I thought I would only cover certain topics. Mainly, my life in Philadelphia over the last ten years. The focus of Phicklephilly is romance and dating. But while on this journey, I realized my life is rich with so many other great characters, I should add them to the Phicklephilly universe.

So let me introduce you to my lovely daughter Lorelei. She turned 20 years old two months ago. Lor has always been a sweet, and easy-going child. Now a young woman. I am very proud of her, and its great watching her grow up and flourish. She’ll be occasionally popping up in my stories.

Her mom and I divorced when she was three and a half years old. She lived with her mom, and came to me every other weekend. This went on for many years. I’m not going to go into all of the details of my divorced life because that’s not what this forum is all about.That blog would be called, Nightmare in New Jersey.

One thing I never agreed with, was her mother putting her on ADD medicine when she was a little girl. But happily when Lor  was thirteen she came told me that she wasn’t going to take that shit anymore, because it wouldn’t allow her to perform in a dramatic way on stage. How fucked up is that?

Let’s have big pharma brainwash a bunch of stupid parents, and turn their creative and rambunctious children into dull robots, and life long drug addled customers. Just so we can make even more money for the stockholders. Pure evil.

There once was a kid whose teachers described him as unreachable. A boy lost in his dreams. Yea… that dude was Albert Einstein. Let’s crush any future Einsteins or Leonardo Di Vinci’s with a bunch of drugs. Shame on you all. And damn you all for what you’ve done. I was very proud that my daughter had the foresight to see what that junk was doing to her body and mind. So she kicked that shit years ago.

Anyway, Lorelei had become tired of the grinding frustration of living with her mother in New Jersey. Her mother’s 2nd ex-husband after me, was usually the blame, but once they divorced and he went back to Arizona, she was out of excuses. My daughter was and A – B student who was a beloved member of her high school’s theatrical group. She was lead soprano in a musical in 2014, and co-star of the musical they performed her senior year in 2015. This was a good kid. You have to wonder why life with her mother was so hard. What do we ask of our children growing up? Do well in school, and behave yourself. Lorelei was doing that and more. But I was married to that harpy for 8 years, and I know what kind of fresh hell it can be for anyone to live with my Lorelei’s mother.

My daughter was having stomach disorders, and anxiety living with her mother. Being in that hell house with her mother had for years been an extremely difficult place to be. Sad thing was, I split after 8 years, her second husband amazingly lasted a full ten years before he left. But Lorelei couldn’t leave. She was a child. She was like a prisoner under the ragged claws of her mother. But once she reached the age of majority she wanted to escape. She turned 18, and by February of 2015, she asked if she could come live with me. “Daddy, I’ll sleep on the floor if I have to if it’ll get me away from her.” Of course she wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor, and I would never turn my child away. So I told her to come live with me in Philly.

There was an obvious shit storm that ensued. Her mother likes to control everything, but lacks any real control over her own life. But my daughter was 18 years old. She could do what she wanted. She could vote, buy a gun, and serve in the military if she wanted. So technically, there was nothing her mom could do about it. She fought it of course, but I think we even had my daughter’s high school on our side. They realized her mom is crazy and were fed up with her nonsense as well.

But all aside, I forgive her mother. It takes too much of ones time and energy to hold a grudge against someone. That is some bad energy that you have to maintain everyday. It’s just a waste of time. You only have to forgive once, and your mind is free.

Lorelei would get herself up at dawn everyday at my house in center city. She would walk in the winter weather to the PATCO station and take the train into Jersey everyday by herself. In the beginning she actually was having anxiety attacks at the end of each day, because she was expecting something bad to happen. She discussed this with me, and it seemed like a form of post traumatic stress disorder from living with her mother. I understand that. You never knew who, or what you were coming home to. I reassured Lor that nothing was going to happen. I was putting her on an allowance, and if she needed anything to let me know. I was always here for her, and she was now safe. All she would be coming home to would be her Dad sitting in his chair, sipping a glass of wine and watching Netflix. Nothing more. In a few weeks she settled in just fine. She’d get up and go to school in Jersey every morning 5 days a week. She did this until she graduated in June of 2015. She graduated with good grades on a Friday, and started working as a hostess in restaurant here in Philly the following Tuesday.

She has since gone from vegetarian to vegan. She eats a balanced diet, and is lean and fit. Her stomach disorders are gone, and she no longer takes any of the medicines her mother put her on. She works at her job and likes it. I let her live her life.

I love her very much, and would do anything for my baby. She’ll always be the apple of my eye. My one and only daughter. My immortality in this world.

I have always believed it’s not as hard as everyone thinks to be a parent. Just give your children love, good information, manners, consistency and discipline. I’m sure there is more to it than that, but that’s a decent foundation.

I always looked at parenting this way. I am the Archer. Lorelei is the Arrow.  I need to be firm when I hold the bow. But I also need to be flexible like the string. I must cast the Arrow straight and true into tomorrow, for that is a place I can never go.

Tomorrow belongs to our children. Try not to fuck it up.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every Monday at 9am EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly

I publish new Dating content every Monday at 9am EST. I publish Updates and bios and stories about Non-Dating related characters, such as male and female friends, on TuesdaysWednesdays at 9am EST.