The One Personality Trait You Need To Be Irresistibly Attractive — And How To Get It

Be the one that commands attention.

When it comes to attraction, charm, and magnetism, what do attractive people have that makes everyone like them without even trying?

How many times have you been at a party when someone enters the room and immediately commands everyone’s attention? Have you ever thought, “I wish that was me”?

As it turns out, it can be — you just need to embody one specific personality trait.

So, what makes someone attractive and charming? It all comes down to charisma. And the good news is scientists have proven that charisma is a trainable trait.

The game-changing step to becoming more magnetic is learning how to be present and live in the moment.

Think back to the last time you were in contact with a true charmer — you probably felt connected and special, like you were the only person that mattered at that moment.

That’s because captivators understand the sheer power of being and living in the moment.

Did you know that the human mind reads facial expressions in as little as seventeen milliseconds?

This means that “fake” listening is impossible. As soon as your mind wanders, subtle subconscious facial movements and body language take place.

Whether your eyes gloss over or your effect has a split second delay, the other person picks up on those indicators and knows that you’ve lost interest.

You end up pissing off your friends, insulting your partner, or disrespecting your boss all because you’re trained by society to be partially present.

In a culture that encourages multitasking, it’s never been more difficult to pay attention.

In fact, according to a 2,250-person study from Harvard University, we miss out on 50 percent of our lives by not being present.

The world can be your oyster when you learn the art of being present in the here and now.

Whether you want to climb the ladder or become the envy of the party, tap into this powerful skill and you’re one step close to getting what you want.

How does your lack of presence affect your personal and professional life?

It’s seen as rude and inauthentic, which basically means that nobody will trample over others to get to you nor will they trust you.

No matter if you’re trying to win over the guy, half-listen to your wife’s sob story during the big game, or survive your boss’ boring story about his pregnant poodle, you’re a fraud and everyone’s subconscious knows it.

But, the good news is that presence is a learned skill. All you need is practice and patience.

To get you started on learning how to live in the moment and train that personality trait of charisma, here are 2 exercises to try.

1. Breath Meditation

This exercise is super easy, all you have to do is breathe.

Breathe and pay attention to how the air flows in and out of your body. Do that over and over until the time is up.

Start this practice for 30-seconds every day for the first week and then increase by 2-minute intervals each week until you can sustain focused attention on your breath for 5-6 minutes.

2. Chocolate Meditation

Yep, you read that right!

Place a foiled Hershey’s Kiss in the palm of your hand. Take a moment and look at this tiny piece of goodness. Next, slowly peel back the wrapper and pay close attention to the increased chocolate aroma spilling into the air.

Place the bit of heaven on your tongue and just let it sit. Notice the texture and taste. Slowly allow your mouth to move the chocolate around.

Try and make it last for as long as you can. Your goal is to have this exercise last at least 5 minutes.

When your mind wanders — and it will — just gently bring your awareness back to the exercise.

How do you know if you’re fully engaged? There are 3 signs.

  • You feel what the speaker is describing: If they describe a moment of humiliation you experience signs in your body that only gross embarrassment could illicit.
  • You’re captivated: You’re so in the moment that you can experience what they are feeling inside their own body — relaxed, irritated, or maybe stressed.
  • The story gets juicier: When the speaker feels your undivided attention, they will become more and more vulnerable — it’s a beautiful process.

When you notice that you’ve trailed off, simply take in a deep belly breath and tune back in.

Yes, it’s that simple to learn how to be more attractive.

Start this week and retrain your brain to stay in the moment.

Commit to 30-seconds a day for a week, and you’ll notice a difference. By the end of the second week, others will take note. You can even go for the full 21-day challenge and you’ll be the person that commands the attention.

Pure attention is extremely rare these days. That means that you can take advantage of this little trick and reap the benefits from your discipline.

 

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6 Traits Of Immensely Attractive People

What makes us immensely attractive? Well, it depends on who’s asking.

Let’s face it, like it or not, the law of attraction has this spot on for many of us – we don’t really attract what we want, but we attract what we ARE.

Sometimes it’s pretty hard to put in words what makes someone attractive.

Usually, it’s a combination of many things that include looks, logic, intellect, personality and many more. More often than not one factor is not enough when it comes to attraction. Imagine this, you meet this amazingly looking young lady or gentleman with a hot body, but with the mindset of a child, and I don’t mean it in a good, cheeky way. Face it, even if you’re in just for the sex, it will probably become boring sooner than later if there is no emotional or intellectual connection.

Some of us are crazy about unavailable people, others like kind people, angry people, crazy people, funny people, serious people,

So yeah, we are all different and therefore we find different things appealing. Yet, there are some basic things that most of us find immensely attractive.

Below I’ve listed 6 of them.

1. Sense Of Humor

Good sense of humor is immensely attractive. End of discussion. 

There are even volumes of research that proves this, some of which you can read here. Sometimes life gets tough and we have to deal with all sorts of difficulties, but having someone who can easily make us laugh and forget our troubles is a real treasure.

Sense of humor is also connected to good cognitive fitness, creativity, high intelligence and ability to think out of the box, and all of those things are pretty hot.

2. Self-confidence

Confidence makes you shine in all fields of your life, but when it comes to attraction, it’s the king.
Most of us are insecure about something, but we have to focus on our virtues instead.

But why is self-confidence so attractive?

I’m sure there’s some deep psychological or evolutionary reason for this that dates back to the Stone Age, but there’s also a social factor. Imagine someone who is extremely confident(but not cocky!), genuinely happy, secure in themselves…someone who got their shit together and they know it damn, well, wouldn’t you want to be around them? It makes people wonder what’s the deal with that fascinating and confident person and they want to discover more. Self-confidence also makes you more approachable and easier to talk to, which breaks the ice when meeting new people.

3. Kindness

Who wants to be around mean or rude people? Imagine going on a date with someone who kicks puppies or is rude to the waiter, would that make you feel good? Doubt that, unless you’re totally messed up. There’s something heart-warming when watching someone perform an act of kindness to a total stranger.

Kindness towards others and oneself is something that is really attractive to most people. And don’t worry, it doesn’t make you seem weak, just the opposite – it’s a sign of immense emotional strength.

4. Passion

As the popular internet meme says, “People are prettiest when they talk about something they really love with passion in their eyes”. Passion is immensely attractive. It shows that the person in front of you is enthusiastic and has a strong will and a purpose in their life.

Your passion defines you and puts you on a pedestal, it makes you shine. Even better, if you have the self-confidence to express your passion without giving a damn what the others think, makes you a real rockstar in the eyes of most people.

This reminds me of the story of how Elon Musk hooked up with his children’s mother – he talked to her about…electric cars! They weren’t so popular back then, but imagine sitting in a bar, talking to someone like Elon about his passion…so electrifying!

5. Being open-minded

Ignorant people are immensely attractive…not!

Open-mindedness is linked to optimism and ability to solve problems and make better decisions. Open-minded people don’t rush to any particular judgment too quickly, which helps them make more informed decisions. It also prevents you from jumping to conclusions without knowing the full story, which could lead to huge limitations in all fields of life. Being open-minded gives you more opportunities, which helps you have a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset. All of that makes you a better person to be around, therefore – a more attractive one.

6. They make others feel important

Immensely attractive people know that every person is important and can make the world better.
They listen to the person in front of them carefully without interruptions and show a genuine interested in them. They also notice things about other people. They make a note of something they said or did well and point it out. Wouldn’t you be attracted to someone who makes you feel really special?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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The Confidence Gap In Men And Women: Why It Matters And How To Overcome It

In December of 1920, Amelia Earhart paid to go on her first plane ride. The experience lasted only ten minutes, but it changed the direction of her life: Amelia was determined to be a pilot. It didn’t matter to her that there were only a few women in the field of aviation. Through hard work and challenging conditions, she developed her skills. While other female pilots feared the long journey across the Transatlantic, Amelia’s gutsy determination led her to be first woman to fly it solo. The confidence she possessed was one of her greatest strengths and led her to set many  records.

Amelia Earhart was not the only highly competent female pilot during that time in history. Although she was skilled, I don’t believe that is what caused her to be so successful. Rather it was her confidence, her willingness to go after the impossible, and her belief that she could do it. At Zenger Folkman we’ve found that confidence proves to be equally as valuable as competence because it leads to action, attention, and resilience—all traits exemplified during Amelia’s transatlantic flight.

Amelia Earhart’s accomplishments were especially noteworthy at the time, because of her achievements in what had been a male domain.  Aviators were nearly all men. Gender differences in confidence are quite dramatic.  A study done at Cornell University found that men overestimate their abilities and performance, while women underestimate both. In fact, their actual performance does not differ in quality or quantity.

This female confidence challenge was also described as the “imposter syndrome” by Pauline Claunce and  Suzanne Imes. Women frequently express that they don’t feel they deserve their job and are “imposters” who could be found out at any moment.  They found that women worry more about being disliked, appearing unattractive, outshining others, or grabbing too much attention.

Men are not exempt from doubting themselves—but they don’t let their doubts stop them as often as women do.  A Hewlett Packard internal report found that men apply for a job or promotion when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them. What doomed them was not their actual ability, but rather the decision not to try.

Zenger Folkman’s research shows that as women’s experience increases over time, so does their confidence. The graph below shows that women’s confidence increases more with age than men’s. But consider the many opportunities lost in early years because of fear and lack of confidence.

 

Thanks. I hope this was helpful. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this piece.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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