Is My Partner In Love With Me? 9 Unconscious Things They’ll Do If They Are

It can be fun to look for signs your partner is in love, especially if they aren’t really the type to say it out loud. Not everyone, after all, feels comfortable expressing those three big words — “I love you” — or sharing their feelings. And that’s OK.

These can also come in handy at the very start of a relationship, before you both come out and say how you feel. There might be clues that mean your partner is in love, including the little unconscious things they’re likely do and say throughout the day.

Whether it’s the way they look at you, the questions they ask, or the ways they help you out, it can all point to love. You can still confirm it in other ways, however, if you’re wondering how they truly feel, in order to ensure you’re both on the same page regarding the status of your relationship.

“It’s always fine to ask what your partner is feeling in a relationship, especially if you are reading signs, but receiving very little direct communication,” Jonathan Bennett, relationship and dating expert at Double Trust Dating, tells us. Sometimes, you just need to say it out loud so you both know. But until then, keep an eye out for the unconscious things your partner might do if they’re in love, according to experts.

1. They’re More Affectionate

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“A partner who is truly falling in love might unconsciously be more affectionate in very tender ways,” Dr. Carla Marie Manly, PhD, a clinical psychologist, relationship expert, and author of Joy from Fear, tells us. “As defenses are reduced by emotional connection, physical displays of affection often naturally — and unconsciously — increase.”

They might lean in for kisses more often, tenderly brush your hair back from your face, or even wipe food off your lip. And you’ll probably feel compelled to do the same. These gestures show you’re comfortable around each other, and want to make each other feel secure and happy.

2. They Like To Be Close

In a similar vein, you might notice that they look for ways to be closer to you physically, in sweet ways. “This isn’t just during sexual contact, but even casually and subconsciously, like holding your hand while sitting, putting an arm around you when walking, and so on,” Bennett says.

If you two kept some distance before — possibly by walking side by side or feeling nervous about holding hands — you might be more into the idea of closing that gap, simply because you both want to.

3. They Help You Out In Small Ways

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You know someone’s in love if they suddenly want to run boring errands with you, just because it means spending time together. But the same can be true if you notice a shift from your partner focusing solely on themselves to focusing more on your needs, too.

“Love can be unconsciously displayed through increased awareness of the other person’s needs — both emotional and physical,” Manly says. “True love for another person unconsciously changes one’s orientation away from the self and toward the other person, and this results in thoughtful actions that are reflective of loving awareness.”

Instead of just making coffee for themselves, for example, they’ll begin to unconsciously pour two cups. Simple moments like these can reveal a lot.

4. They Start Saying “We”

“Love often translates unconsciously into inclusive, couple-type actions that generate more of a sense of ‘we’ rather than ‘I’,” Manly says. So if you notice that your partner starts speaking about you as a unit, take it as a sign.

“Vocabulary may unconsciously shift accordingly to reflect an orientation toward partnership,” Manly says, “such as ‘Maybe we can plan on going camping this fall?’ or ‘Wouldn’t it be great if we could find a dog to adopt someday?'”

This shows they’re thinking about you as a duo as well as looking towards the future, which is a path you’ll be way more likely to head down as a couple, if you’re both madly in love.

5. They Make More Eye Contact

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Eye contact can be pretty intense between two people who love each other, so if you notice your partner staring deeply into your eyes, there’s a good chance they’re in love.

“This can include making eye contact, but also simply looking at you randomly,” Bennett says. “If your partner can’t stop looking at you and even can’t seem to help staring, it’s a clear sign of intense attraction and love.”

You might catch them gazing at you from across the room, even when you aren’t doing anything particularly interesting. If they have feelings, their eyes will naturally settle on you more often, without them even realizing it.

6. They Prioritize Hanging Out

People want to hang out with those they care about, Bennett says, so if your partner wants to be around you more often — even if it’s just to do nothing — that can be a sign of love. And the same is true if they start choosing to hang out as a couple over other activities.

While it’s always good to have your own lives and hobbies going on outside the relationship, being in love can mean wanting to spend all your time together and prioritizing the relationship, especially in those early days.

7. They Call With Big News

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Whether it’s good or bad, it shows you mean a lot to your partner if you’re one of the first people they call with big news, and that’s because it’s a sign “they feel connected and safe to be vulnerable with you,” Christine Scott-Hudson, MA, MFT, ATR, a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in creative healing and art therapy, and owner of Create Your Life Studio, tells us. “If your partner makes you and your relationship a priority and treats it as such, they likely value you and what you have together.”

8. They Ask Lots Of Questions

You might also notice a shift in the conversation leaning more towards what you want and what you think. And that can be yet another sign your partner is focused on you, wants to know more about your inner world, and that they’re making you a priority.

“If your partner wants to know everything from your favorite color to your deepest secrets, it’s pretty clear that they can’t get enough of you,” Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells us.

9. They Light Up When They See You

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“Whether or not your partner realizes it, the way they react to seeing you walk into a room says a ton about the way they really feel about being around you,” Trombetti says. “It can be something as big as a hug or as simple as a smile. All that matters is that they show some enthusiasm to see you.”

Without even realizing it, your partner may start to do these things as they fall in love, and as your relationship grows. Holding hands, making more eye contact, and putting you first can all point to how they feel, even if they haven’t said it out loud.

You can, however, always confirm your hunch by asking, as well as talking about where your relationship is going, in order to make sure you both share strong feelings — and want the same things.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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You & Your Partner’s Body Language When You’re Sitting Can Speak Volumes

Whether you’re on a dinner date, side-by-side at a basketball game, or on the couch before Netflix and chill (or Disney+ and thrust), you and your partner’s body language when you’re sitting can speak volumes about your closeness. I spoke with body language expert Traci Brown about what you can gather from the way you and bae position your bodies in relation to each other, from the direction of their legs and feet, to how they use their hands.

In terms of overall body language, Brown says you shouldn’t base your sole understanding of how your partner feels about you on each individual body language cue. “You’re going to want to see more than one thing at once to get a good ‘read’ of what’s going on. Because if you just look at one movement by itself, you’re not going to get the picture of what’s really going on,” Brown tells us. Additionally, it’s important to remember that body language can only tell you so much about how someone really feels. The best way to understand your partner is to ask them any questions you might have directly, and remain in consistent communication about your feelings.

Here’s what body language experts had to say about what your partner’s sitting posture can mean for your relationship dynamic.

First, Look At The Distance Between You & Your Partner’s Bodies

“You want to look for how physically close they are to you,” Brown tells us. If you and your partner are sitting super close together and your bodies are touching, that’s a good sign you two are emotionally intimate.

But if your partner (or your date!) is on the other side of the couch, take note. Blanca Cobb, body language expert, previously told us that someone who’s not romantically interested in you will probably keep their distance. She said that if they “pull back, or turn their shoulders away from you when you get close to each other,” you might want to ask them what’s up.

Take Note Of Their Legs & Feet

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Have you ever noticed the way people sit in chairs or on couches? Maybe they have both feet planted firmly on the ground, or one foot on the ground and the other curled under their leg. Brown acknowledges there’s an “element of habit” in how people sit and with body language across the board, but when your legs are crossed toward someone, “you’re generally more into them,” Brown says. “You can also look at their feet. Are their feet pointed toward you?” If so, that’s a good sign. Body language expert Patti Wood also agrees that feet pointing toward you bodes well for attraction.

“[It’s] a limbic brain response  where the feet point, the heart follows,” Wood previously told us.

Don’t Ignore Their Arms & Hands

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Brown recommends taking note of how your partner touches you when you’re sitting next to each other. For example, bae leaning forward with a hand over yours, or their hand on your arm are both signs they’re feeling passionate. “If you see those together, it’s a pretty good sign that they’re into you,” Brown says.

On the other end of the spectrum, take note of any body language cue signaling your partner is bored. Brown gives an example of a couple she saw out on a date. One person was talking incessantly, while the other had their elbow on the table and their chin on their hand. “Things like that can be really telling as well,” she says. “Boredom is not a win.” Wood also told us that apart from turning away or slumping on the table, “lazily resting their arm around the back of the chair” might indicate your partner has checked out of your interaction together.

Brown reiterates that studying your partner’s body language, while helpful, shouldn’t be the only way you gauge how they’re feeling. “With body language, you’re getting a snapshot of an instant. The question is: Can you piece them all together to get a potential list of what could be on their mind?” she asks. “Body language can tell you you what’s on someone’s mind, but it doesn’t tell you why.” Ultimately if the dynamic between you and your partner feels off, don’t be afraid to face the tough conversation and ask them what’s up.

 

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7 Super-Romantic Labor Day Weekend Date Ideas For Fun Couples

Real couples dish on their romantic Labor Day weekend plans.

Labor Day weekend is coming up and it’s the perfect time to bond and re-kindle the fire with your partner.

We surveyed couples from all over the country to see how they would suggest spending this upcoming Labor Day Weekend, and the results made us totally jealous.

Here are our favorite romantic date night ideas for you and your significant other.

1. Book a spa day.

Dana and Jared of NYC said that one of their most romantic dates was when they booked a couple’s massage at the Mineral Springs resort, and spent the rest of the day enjoying drinks poolside on the roof deck. Dana’s favorite part of the mini getaway?

“It felt like we were taking a mini vacation without ever stepping on a plane!”

2. Take a trip to the Capitol.

Akanksha and Samarth recently drove out to Washington D.C. for the weekend and visited the sights.

“We went out in Georgetown at night, and then did some sight-seeing during the day,” Akanksha said. “The Smithsonian Museums are free on the weekends, so it helped us save some on the cost of the overall trip.”

3. Plan a mini honeymoon.

Newlyweds Maggie and Javier don’t have the office leeway to schedule their dream honeymoon yet, but that hasn’t stopped them from relishing in their newlywed bliss. They recently took a sightseeing cruise.

“We’re not doing a huge honeymoon yet, so we’re taking different day trips, and I have to say I enjoyed the cruise so much,” said Maggie. “The upstairs outdoor seating was the best!”

4. Attend a music festival.

Alyse and Dave have found that their favorite weekend excursions always include attending a music festival. “It’s how we take a break from our hectic and busy lives and take an entire day (or weekend — depending on the festival) and just enjoy each other and the music we both love,” said Alyse.

The couple is considering a trip to the three-day art festival called Bumbershoot in Seattle, Washington this weekend to enjoy some of their favorite artists.

5. Explore a new city together.

Sarah and Chris’s favorite trip together was a long weekend in Chris’s Missouri hometown, where they visited the famous St. Louis Gateway Arch and went on a Budweiser factory tour. “It was awesome to have a date night somewhere out of our normal comfort zone,” said Sarah. “Exploring a new city let us explore a new aspect of our relationship.”

6. Attend a ball game.

While eating ballpark franks and drinking draft beer out of plastic cups doesn’t exactly scream romance, it’s definitely a fun and authentic way to spend some time together, without all of the financial pressure that can accompany a weekend couple’s trip. Anna and Matt plan on attending a Red Sox game this Saturday and spend Sunday in Gloucester for some fried fresh seafood and beautiful beaches.

7. Cozy up at a bed and breakfast.

Even though Rie and Terry live down the shore, one of their favorite weekend trips was spent at a bed and breakfast … just one town over!

“Even though we know the area, and could just as easily have eaten at the restaurants or browsed the shops in a day trip, we would usually be worrying about what the kids were doing for dinner, or if anyone would be home to let the dogs out,” Rie said. “By making a weekend trip out of one of our favorite local places, we were able to just enjoy each other.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Whether You’re Single Or Married, These Are 11 Facts About Flirting That Everyone Should Know

People flirt for six different reasons.

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In a 2004 review of the literature on flirting, Northern Illinois University professor David Dryden Henningsen identified six different motivations for the behavior:

• Sex: trying to get in bed
• Fun: treating it like a sport
• Exploring: trying to see what it would be like to be in a relationship
• Relational: trying to increase the intimacy of a relationship
• Esteem: increasing one’s own self esteem
• Instrumental: trying to get something from the other person

In that study, Henningsen asked 101 female and 99 male students to write out a hypothetical flirty conversation between a man and a woman, then identify the motivations for the things they said.

The behaviors broke down along gender norms: Men were significantly more likely to have a sexual motivation, while women tended to have a relational one.

Couples need to flirt, too.

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Like Tinder, cats, and dying alone, flirting is usually associated with single people.

But couples need to know how to flirt, too.

After studying 164 married people for a 2012 study, University of Kentucky researcher Brandi Frisby noted that most of them flirted — by playing “footsies” or whispering in their partner’s ear, for example — as a means of maintaining and emphasizing intimacy. Oftentimes, she wrote in her paper, married couples flirted to “create a private world with the spouse.”

People feel connected when they get past the small talk.

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You probably already know that asking questions of the person you fancy is a good idea.

But it’s all about the kind of questions you ask.

According to a widely cited 1997 study by State University of New York psychologist Arthur Aron, people feel more closely bonded when they ask each other intimate questions, as in “What roles do love and affection play in your life?” and “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?” 

Six months later, two of the participants (a tiny fraction of the original study group) even found themselves in love — an intriguing result, though not a significant one.

Men overestimate how interested women are.

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Evidence from multiple studies supports the idea that, among heterosexual people, men tend to over perceive sexual interest from women, while women tend to under perceive sexual interest from men.

A 2014 study published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology surveyed hundreds of undergraduate students from Norway, which according to the UN is one of the world’s most “gender egalitarian nations.”

Researchers found more women had been subject to instances where men over-perceive sexual interest from them than men. Young, single, and sexuality-fluid participants also experienced being over-sexualized more often.

The most attractive characteristics depend on gender.

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According to a 2011 study led by University of British Columbia psychologist Jessica Tracy, heterosexual men and women diverge greatly in the facial expressions they fancy.

After showing 1,041 people images of different facial expressions, Tracy found that:

• Happiness was the most attractive female expression, but one of the least attractive for men.
• Pride was the most attractive male expression, but one of the least attractive for women.
• Interestingly, an expression of shame was relatively attractive on both men and women.

Flirting can enhance your attraction.

University of New Mexico evolutionary psychologist Steven W. Gangestad told Psychology Today in 2016 that flirting is a “negotiation process” that happens after the first moments of attraction.

It’s a subtle sort of testing the waters. You don’t just say “I’m attracted to you; are you attracted to me?”

“It works much better to reveal [your attraction] and have it revealed to you in smaller doses,” Gangestad says. “The flirting then becomes something that enhances the attraction.”

It’s not about being the most attractive person in the room.

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It’s about signaling that you’re available.

According to research from Webster University psychologist Monica Moore (who studied people’s flirting behavior at singles bars, shopping malls, and other places where young people meet), women who smiled and made eye contact with others were more likely to be approached than those who were simply good looking.

There may be five main styles of flirting.

When it comes to flirting, everyone’s got a different M.O.

In 2010, Jeffrey A. Hall and Chong Xing published research that suggests there are five different styles of flirting. In 2015, they followed up on this research by breaking down each style into a series of verbal and nonverbal behaviors.

Here are some key behaviors of each type, as described by Susan Krauss Whitbourne on Psychology Today:

• Physical flirts tend to subtly touch the person they’re interested in.
• Traditional flirts believe men should make the first move.
• Sincere flirts get other people to open up to them.
• Playful flirts see the interaction as a game and may be using the flirtation as a means to another end.

You can take a quiz, developed by Hall to figure out which style best describes you.

The best flirters shift their strategy depending on context.

If you’re flirting with someone perceived as higher status than you, being more subtle will lead to more success, according to research.

A 2014 study conducted by University of Pennsylvania professors found flirters who can adjust how overtly they flirt will have the best success. “Presence of rivals, the potential for an advance to be considered inappropriate, or the higher social status of the receiver” are all situations where you’re better off being more subtle.

If successful, flirting can lead others to think you are also funny or creative, as well as attractive.

If you’re flirting on an app, there are some words that work better than others.

Compliments over text go a long way, dating website Plenty of Fish finds.

The website analyzed 60,000 messages on dating apps to find the words that got the best responses. For men, calling a woman “beautiful” led to a conversation 20% of the time. Women messaging men first receive responses less often, but using the word “nice” works best.

Flirting could be all about biology.

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Flirting may have less to do with words or body language, and more to do with biology.

Scientists have long speculated on how pheromones, or chemicals released by your body that have an impact on people around you, contribute to physical attraction. A 2011 study out of Florida State University found men who were exposed to pheromones released by ovulating women were more likely to drink alcohol and flirt with women.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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7 Most Important Things for a Healthy Relationship

Life begins with ‘Zero’ and ends with ‘Zero’. In between this, all the good deeds we do are bliss for life. One such blissful moment is getting married. In spiritual terms, a ‘Marriage’ is a holy form of bringing together two souls for 7 life cycles.

In generic term, ‘Marriage’ is considered as the start of a family, the birth of long-time commitments, something more than just physically uniting two humans, a cycle of happiness, a journey of endless sacrifices. In this place, love builds the home for itself and a pledge to be together always.

A briefing to all this, let us quickly glide through 7 most important things for a healthy relationship:

Respect

The first important thing to consider is respecting each other opinions. This is the immortal point in a person’s life, whether you are married or single learn to respect. Life revolves around, giving respect and accepting respect.

Any partner before falling in love considers respect as the most important factor and search for the same from the very first instance. It is very simple if you can’t be a respectful person, you are simply no-one.

At any point in the relationship if respect is lacking, then it creates an overall negative impact on the same. So, it doesn’t matter how rich you are, or how successful you are, if you lack ‘Respect’ then you are no-one but a ‘Dead Person’ alive.

Equality

The most generous part of life is equality. Equality refers back to treating people equally with no discriminations; then it may be caste, creed, rich-poor, color or race. Basic nurturing values for a human starts with equality and also ends with equality.

As in the first line of this blog says it all and is applicable to all. Now, if you are not treating your partner equally or keeping biased decisions, then sorry to say but you can’t expect a heroic life ahead.

If you are working and your partner is home, then instead of criticizing learn the ‘Why’s’ of being home. Everyone has their own journey and they are the ones who know their journey very well. So, if you want to be a part of their journey you should know their efforts and struggle behind the same.

If these few points are considered then a journey is no longer solo, it is full of joy and happiness. Equality arouses at home, so you should be able to train your brain in the worst situations as well.

Safety

Whether you travel by car or an airplane, seat belts are always advised as a precautionary measure for safety. In this small journey if safety is given so much importance, then just imagine how much importance a partner should get after getting married.

Among all the basic needs in a relationship, the safety of your partner plays a very important role. If you can’t keep your partner safe, then you are worth nothing. It is us and solemnly us who have to look after each other’s safety.

It’s not always true that a man has to keep his woman safe; even a woman can do the same. A woman can keep her man safe from wrongdoings, bad people and filthy habits. No matter what, the first priority should always be given to safety.

Trust

Have you ever heard of a plant without roots? No? Similarly, a relationship can never last long without trust. Trust is like stepping stones to each new level of life.

Trust takes longer to build, but can be broken easily with few misunderstandings or wrong deeds. A family can be built upon trust and can also be fallen apart from trust issues. Many hearts can be won by trust, and many hearts can be broken by the trust.

One thing for sure, a good heart will always win over others and frame a positive and trustful environment around. A partner expects nothing much from you, but an honest and trustful person.

Understand

The foremost thing of understanding leads us back to the common communication gap faced between many individuals. Communication in any relationship plays a vital role in understanding each other.

Understanding your partner very well can be achieved by healthy and pure communication between both. The more you communicate, the more you tend to understand each other likes and dislikes. Understanding your partner likes and dislikes is very important.

Honest

An honest heart is worth billions. A person may be poor, a person may be rich, a person may be strict, but what important is, a person must be honest. An honest heart is a blessing.

If the person whom we love is honest, then consider yourselves as the luckiest person in the world. When you and your partner are honest with each other, then the family which you live in are also embarked on those values. Nothing is more sustainable than an honest family.

You are honest, then nothing at the end matters. Everything happens as expected, and most importantly, not a single trust issue can be discovered throughout life. You become a person who has the habit of winning hearts and showing sincerity towards others.

Love

There are two phrases – falling in love and staying in love. Both have their equally strong meaning. When we fall in love, we tend to avoid common fights in the relationship.

Whereas, when we stay in love, we probably end up getting into small-small fights. A healthy and secure sentimental relationship can overcome many gaps and resolve issues leading to a joyful and prosperous life ahead.

By taking small steps daily you can endure better understanding which is a good sign of a significantly humble relationship. You should focus more particularly on how to grow love in the relationship rather than worrying on the wrong side. In this world of ‘falling in love’ and ‘staying in love’, you try to focus on ‘rising in love’!

In the Hindu religion, there is this tradition of taking 7 rounds or pheras against the bonfire or agni. Similarly, these 7 life principles are very important for any individual.

Apart from all these key points, Sex life plays an equally important role in a healthy relationship.

Try spending quality time with each other.

Try incubating new things together.

Try getting into the vacation zone by sparing some off work quality time.

Try doing the things you love together.

Try discussing your day with your partner.

Try keeping your physical intimacy alive like – kiss, hugs, touch, hands-in-hands, etc.

Try cherishing over small victories and achievements.

Try to witness the world from your better half’s viewpoint.

Try once giving everything a “Try”!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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If These 10 Things Happen In Your Relationship, You’re Meant To Be

No couple is perfect, but you two are pretty close.

You’re pretty sure you’ve finally found that right person for you. You know, the one who listens intently while you vent about your grueling day at work and is there to hold you tightly on the couch with your Netflix queue already lined up.

But how can you tell for certain that you’re in a healthy relationship? Luckily, science has some answers. Read up on these research-backed factors that strongly influence whether or not you and your partner are meant to go the distance. Because sometimes, relationship advice doesn’t do the trick.

1. You’re both positive.

Sure, this one might not come as a surprise, but studies show that a positive outlook and a few genuinely exchanged smiles a day can go a long way in keeping a relationship stable. Researchers from the University of Chicago found that when just one partner possesses a high level of positivity, there’s less conflict in the relationship.

“Positive emotions are fundamental to any relationship because they counteract the negative emotions that shut us down,” says Jane Greer, New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship. “This translates into feeling more secure with your partner and more trusting.”

And the benefits of seeing the cup half full don’t stop there.

Another study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who celebrated their partners’ achievements — say, a job promotion or killing that 7-minute mile — as if they were their own, experienced greater satisfaction than those who reacted negatively or with indifference. In the study, the couples who had broken up rated their partners’ typical responses to good news as “particularly uninspiring.”

While this isn’t to say you should break out in the Carlton Dance next time your partner offers up some good news, it’s a sure sign that optimism can benefit you both.

2. You keep texting to a minimum.

Between emojis and GIFs, our feelings and emotions are pretty clearly captured sans alphabetical symbols these days. But tread lightly when communicating with your significant other via telecommunication, say researchers from Brigham Young University.

After surveying 276 men and women around age 22 and in committed relationships, they found that heavy texting was to blame for both genders feeling dissatisfied with their relationships.

“Texting is precarious for a lot of people in relationships because it’s hard to flesh out our genuine expressions,” says Dr. Greer. “When one person is less interactive, the expectation is not matched by the reality for the other, and this can lead to disappointment and a feeling of disconnection.”

Similarly, the study found that the men who texted more often reported lower relationship quality than those who didn’t text their partners as frequently, while the women who texted more often reported higher relationship quality. Researchers speculate that as men detach from the relationship, they replace face-to-face convo with increased texting. The ladies, on the other hand, take to their mobile devices to try and make things work.

Bottom line? Hold the phone — literally.

3. You limit social media use.

You love checking your Instagram, Facebook and Twitter feeds — and, chances are, it’s probably also how you read your news. But over-scrolling on social media may be one of the most toxic things you can do for your relationship.

One study in the Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking found that people who use Facebook more than once a day (ahem, most of us) are more likely to report conflicts in the relationship that inevitably lead to negative outcomes like cheating, breaking up, or getting divorced.

“Romantic relationships can be challenging enough to navigate without these added technological complications,” says Joseph Cilona, Psy.D., Manhattan-based licensed clinical psychologist. “Finding ways to simplify or minimize potential pitfalls, like limiting what each other shares about your relationship on social media, is a great rule of thumb to follow.”

But good news for your social media mojo if you and your man or lady have been together for over three years: These results only held for couples in the early years of the relationship, which may mean the threat of Facebook coming between you two reduces the longer you stay together.

4. You cuddle.

Most of us admit to loving the feeling of being physically close to another human — it’s a natural, biological response. But when consistent physical intimacy (not just sexual) is a staple of how you both behave in your relationship, it also signals your levels of happiness together.

A study published in The American Journal of Family Therapy surveyed 100 men and 195 women to examine their preferences and attitudes towards romantic physical affection—massaging, caressing, cuddling, holding hands, hugging — and found overwhelmingly that the amount they experienced in their relationship was significantly correlated to their levels of couple satisfaction.

“Cuddling and tenderness help maintain the physical connection and intimacy shared between couples—not just when you’re being sexual,” says Dr. Greer. “As a result, it can be easier to get turned on because there’s always an element of sexual energy being shared through physical touches, therefore leading to a happier relationship overall.”

So next time you’re in the mood to snuggle, remember that science is on your side.

5. You fight instead of holding back your feelings.

While you might get down and out about the latest tiff you had with your boo, one study reports that it may be the all-important glue that winds up keeping your relationship together.

Researchers from Florida State University found that expressing anger when disagreements arise may actually be necessary in resolving problems in the relationship. In fact, that whole saying “forgive and forget” could surprisingly lead to buried feelings of resentment that fester and almost always come up later in the courtship.

“If you learn to argue in a healthy way early on, then you’re more comfortable expressing your emotions to your partner and working through your different points of view,” says Dr. Greer. “This creates a good working framework for handling arguments in a positive way instead of them resurfacing constantly, causing more strain in the relationship.”

So don’t be afraid to put your feelings out there and fight (respectfully, of course) next time you feel passionately for or against something in your relationship.

6. You have regular sex.

If the honeymoon phase has come and gone and the two of you still maintain a consistently hot-and-heavy romp schedule, you’re on the road to relationship bliss. In fact, a study published in the journal Society for Personality and Social Psychology found that having sex at least once a week brings as much happiness to your relationship as making an extra $50,000.

For this study, researchers surveyed more than 30,000 Americans over four decades, and found that having sex just once a week was the frequency most linked to relationship happiness. Surprisingly, couples who had sex more or less frequently were not happier.

“Intimacy is just another type of communication, so if that communication falters, so will your sexual connection in response,” says Dr. Tessina. That being said, your sexual chemistry is not a race to the sack.

“If you’re mutually enjoying more sex, than it will make you both happier, but remember that it comes down to both people wanting to be intimate that often,” adds Dr. Greer.

7. You’re similar.

You know the old saying, “opposites attract”? Well, if you happen to have a lot in common with your partner, it may be a better recipe for attraction.

In fact, a study by researchers from Wellesley College and the University of Kansas found that we’re actually hard-wired to desire “like-minded others.” They were able to reach this conclusion by analyzing pairs or people — from romantic couples to friends and even mere acquaintances — interacting in public. The pairs were asked questions about attitude, values, and prejudice, among other things, and it was found that the longer-term relationship pairs had greater similarities than those who had recently become acquainted.

“If you’re more alike in terms of your personalities, you’re sharing similar styles of dealing with a variety of things in life — from interacting with friends to experiencing life changes,” says Dr. Greer. “So if you and your partner share similar values and interests, you’ll wind up with more cooperative spirits and having a greater respect for one another.”

8. Your spending habits differ.

You’re certainly not alone if you find that the majority of the arguments you have as a couple are sparked by personal (or combined) finances. In fact, a Money Magazine poll found that a whopping 70 percent of couples argue about finances the most — more than household chores, togetherness, sex, snoring, and so on.

But if the two of you have stark differences in the way in which you prefer to spend — AKA one of you is a spendthrift and the other is a tightwad (yes, that’s an actual term) — you just might be perfect for each other. The proof is in one study by the Universities of Pennsylvania, Michigan and Northwestern. Researchers surveyed over 1,000 married and unmarried couples, and found that most individuals tend to choose their spending opposite when it comes to selecting a lifelong partner.

So if that sounds like you and yours, you just may have the perfect yin-and-yang combo to make things work. “Just remember to prioritize the big-spending opportunities like buying a car, house, etc,” reminds Dr. Greer.

9. You laugh at the same jokes.

If you and your sweetie both know how to appreciate a raunchy comedy routine, love anything with Will Ferrell, or both equally detest either of those two scenarios, you’re a match made in heaven, says science.

A study published in the Western Journal of Communication found that 75 percent of happy couples laugh together at least once a day. Even more interesting, another study reported in the same journal found that 92 percent of married men and women credited humor as a factor that made a significant contribution to their married life.

“Laughing at and appreciating the same comedy is the emotional oil to grease the wheels of a relationship to keep it moving forward,” says Dr. Greer. “It gives each of you the resilience you need to laugh off the petty and irrelevant things that naturally build up in life and offers more chances to bond intimately on a regular basis.”

10. You both love to booze it up… or not at all.

We’ve all seen it at one point in our lives — the couple scenario where one person is totally sober and the other is a giant, falling-all-over-the-place mess. There’s a good reason why those unmatched levels of drunkenness or sobriety don’t wind up working out in the end.

In a study published in the Journal of Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research, scientists reviewed data collected from nearly 20,000 married couples, and found that the spouses who consumed relatively the same amount of alcohol were less likely to divorce than pairs where one person drank more heavily or significantly lighter than the other spouse.

“I’ve seen many couples split when one of the pair of drinkers got sober,” says Dr. Tessina. “Alcohol alters a heavy drinker’s experiences and perceptions, so couples who drink heavily together naturally have similar ways of living, as do couples who don’t drink much at all.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Survey Says Until Isolating Together, Nearly Half Of People Had No Idea What Their Partner Did For Work

If your partner seems like a different person now that you’ve seen them working from home, you’re not alone.

According to a new survey of 1,500 British adults, 46% say they had no idea what their significant others did for work until watching them while isolating.

The survey, which was commissioned by Virgin Media, noted that before seeing them in action, they only knew their partners “have lots of meetings,” and even more vaguely, “work in an office.”

With some weeks of watching them work from home, the survey says, now just 22% are still in the dark.

The survey also noted that there were pros and cons to working under the same roof: 32% say they enjoy having someone to speak with while they toil away, and 26% say they liked bouncing work-related ideas off their captive audience. Thirty-one percent say they welcomed spending more time with their loved ones.

On the other side of the coin, 25% say they’re annoyed by overhearing work-related calls, forcing them to move to another room. Eighteen percent say they think their partner is too loud when working from home, and 12.5% say they hate that their partner eats all the snacks.

Twenty percent say they’ve had arguments over the right temperature for working from home, while 20% also say they can’t agree on background music.

A quarter of the respondents say that working from home is messing up their work-life balance.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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10 Reasons Not To Delete An Ex’s Number

Your relationship (or whatever it was) was sweet … until it wasn’t. It ended with a not-so-clean break, and the aftereffects have lasted longer than the relationship itself. You run into him when you’re out and you immediately fall back into his trap. Texting ensues and soon you’re in another downward spiral that leaves you feeling more bitter than you did in the first place. As your friends will tell you, the solution is clear: delete his number. However, it might not be that simple. Here are 10 reasons not to delete his number from your contact list.

10 Reasons Not To Delete An Ex’s Number

  1. He might actually call. You don’t recognize the number, and you answer with an innocent “hello?” It’s him, now you’re stuck on the phone making awkward small talk. The call could have simply been avoided with the “Do Not Answer” button.
  2. Emergencies happen. If he was once someone you could count on, chances are he still might be.
  3. He texts you. Old habits die hard, and it’s obvious when you’re lying in a text message. “Sorry, who is this? I got a new phone” doesn’t always make the cut. Knowing he’s texting you gives you the freedom not to respond.
  4. Why can’t you be friends? Someday (far into the future), after your battle wounds have healed, you might want to keep in touch with this person. After all, you did have some good times together. It would be a shame to lose a potential friend over fights that happened years ago.
  5. He could help your career. Remember when he told you about his cousin’s lucrative marketing firm in Chicago? Well, now you’re moving to Chicago, and you need a job. If you have his number and you’re on good terms, he might help you network or make a business contact.
  6. He’s entertaining and smart as a whip. You’re the next contestant on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” or in the back of the “Cash Cab,” and you need a lifeline. Your ex could make you money!
  7. It’s childish. We’re all mature adults now, right? There are better ways to move on from an old flame, starting with completely forgetting he’s in your address book instead of dwelling on it.
  8. To prevent contact. Yes, deleting his name helps you get him out of sight and out of mind, but a glaring “Don’t Do It!” in place of his name is an effective reminder of the bad times, too.
  9. For your little black book. You might be done with him, but one person’s trash may be another person’s treasure. He didn’t click with you, but could he work with a friend in the future? Delete his number and you’ll never know.
  10. Rekindle an old flame. Maybe, after all the heartbreak, there is still relationship potential. Deleting his number out of spite could hurt you later on.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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9 Relationship Stages That All Couples Go Through

Wondering what relationship stage you’re in right now? Here are the 9 relationship stages that all couples go through, no matter how the love starts.

Relationships are unique.

And one experience of love is never ever the same.

You may have been in several relationships in your life, and all of them may have been very different from the earlier one.

But there are a few traits about every single relationship that binds all relationships along a similar path.

Relationship stages in your love life

Relationships, just like life, have their own stages. It starts off with infatuation and goes through several stages along the way.

And these stages are like tests that check your compatibility with each other.

Go wrong anywhere along the way, and your relationship will take the brunt of the fall.

Have you ever met a couple who seemed like they were going to stay together forever, but ended up breaking up a few years later?

Perhaps, in all probability, they went wrong in one of these stages of the relationship.

The 9 relationship stages that all couples experience

Are you in a new relationship? Or are you in a seasoned relationship with someone you’ve been with for several years?

It doesn’t matter how long your relationship has lasted, because all the relationships will fit snugly in one of these relationship stages.

Find your own relationship stage here, and it’ll definitely help you understand your own love life better.

Stage #1 The infatuation stage. This is the first stage in every relationship. It almost always starts with an intense attraction and an uncontrollable urge to be with each other. Both of you may be intensely sexually attracted to each other, or both of you may just love the cuddles and each other’s company. In this stage, both of you overlook any flaws of each other and only focus on the good sides.

Stage #2 The understanding stage. In this stage, both of you start getting to know each other better. You have long conversations with your partner that stretches late into the night, and everything about your partner interests and fascinates you. You talk about each other’s families, exes, likes and dislikes and other innocent secrets, and life seems so beautiful and romantic.

Stage #3 The stage of disturbances. This stage usually forces its way into a happy romance after a few months of blissful courting. Do you remember the first fight or angry disagreement you and your partner had? For the first time ever in the relationship, both of you confront each other over a conflict, even though it’s sorted out quickly.

Stage #4 The opinion maker. In this stage, both of you create opinions about each other. As the months pass by, both of you know what to expect from each other, and you make an assumption about your partner’s commitment towards the relationship.

When these opinions and expectations about your partner differ now and then in real life, it can either leave you ecstatic or depressed.

You don’t expect your man to buy you flowers, but he does. You feel ecstatic. At the same time, you expect him to pick you up from the airport on time. But he arrives an hour later because he forgot all about picking you up. It depresses you.

Stage #5 The moulding stage. You have your own expectations from an ideal partner. And in this stage, both of you try hard to mould each other to fit your own wants in a perfect partner. This stage is a lot about give and take, and both partners constantly try to subtly convince each other to change their behavior towards the relationship. This is a power struggle, and one that can end the relationship if both partners are domineering.

Stage #6 The happy stage. If the relationship survives past the moulding stage, both of you may have changed equally for each other and understood each other’s expectations. In this stage, the relationship cruises along perfectly and both of you may be blissfully happy with each other.

Almost always, this is the stage when both of you feel like a perfect match. You may even decide to get engaged or get married. This happy stage is also the stage of attachment when both of you truly feel connected to each other and love each other intensely.

Stage #7 The stage of doubts. It’s been several years since both of you have been in a relationship with each other. And somewhere along the way, doubts start to creep in. The intensity of the doubts depend on how happy both of you are in the relationship.

You start to think of your past relationships, your exes, and other prospective partners. You tie your happiness in life with your relationship. If you’re unhappy, you blame it on the relationship.

In this stage, you start comparing your relationship with other couples and other relationships. Would your relationship survive this stage? It definitely could, as long as your relationship isn’t monotonous and repetitive.

Stage #8 The sexual exploration or bust stage. This is the stage when your sex life starts to play a pivotal role. Both your sex drives may change or one of you may get disinterested in sex.

In this stage, you either give up on passionate sex or constantly look for ways to make sex more exciting. If sexual interests start differing here, one of you may end up having an affair. But on the other hand, if you find creative ways to make sex more exciting, your relationship could get better and bring both of you a lot closer.

Stage #9 The stage of complete trust. This is the happy stage when both of you love each other and trust each other completely. But at the same time, the unbreakable trust in each other could also turn into taking each other for granted.

In this stage, both of you know the direction of the relationship and both of you are completely happy with each other and find it easy to predict each other’s behavior and decisions. But with stability in love comes the urge to take each other for granted.

As pleasant as this final stage of love may be, it’s still no excuse to take each other lightly or stop appreciating each other, because love is an intense emotion that can be rekindled by anyone else at any time if you fail to express your romance to your lover.

If you’re in a relationship for a while, you may have experienced all or most of these relationship stages. And if you’re still in a young love, don’t let the dark side of these relationship stages scare you.

Instead, look at these 9 relationship stages as stepping stones into a better future, one that’s filled with a lot of love and happiness, just as long as both of you remember to keep love alive all the time.

 

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Sun Stories – Achilles Heel

Has Sharon finally found Achilles heel?

Achilles has had his share of challenges with his girlfriend Sharon off and on for the last ten years. There were times he wanted to just pack it in and end it. But Sharon has stood the test of time. Achilles’ only weakness.

He finished his shift at the salon, and rode his motorcycle home, just like any other Friday afternoon.

He went home and set the table in the dining room. Then he started cooking up a really nice dinner. He made the salad, grilled the veggies, cooked the steaks to perfection. He’s Greek. They can do everything.

The table was set. Candles glowed in the dimly lit room. Romantic music played softly in the background. Sharon would be home any minute. Achilles gently laid a bouquet of flowers at her place on the table.

She came through the door, to see him standing next to the table smiling. She paused, and then saw the flowers at her place.

“What did you do?” she said accusingly, as if he had done all of this because he done something bad.

Sharon approached the table. Achilles continued to smile. Beyond the flowers was a small black velvet box.

She gasped.

“Open it…” he said calmly.

With trembling hands, Sharon picked up the tiny vessel. Glancing up at him as she slowly opened the box, revealing a beautiful diamond engagement ring.

He proposed.

She said yes.

And they lived happily ever after. (Fingers crossed!)

Yea… Achilles is getting married!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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