4th of July Date Ideas (That Won’t Break the Bank)

Here are a bunch of fun ways to ignite some sparks of your own.

1. Plan an outdoor picnic. We know, it may sound a little clichéd, but grab an American flag blanket at a cheapie store (c’mon, show your patriotism), a bottle of wine, and some American fare to share with your guy. You can bring along a Frisbee or Nerf ball to toss around after lunch. Outdoor eating can be much more relaxed and romantic (not to mention more affordable) than your typical dinner and drinks.

2. Hit up a rooftop bar with your guy. You’ll get to enjoy cocktails in the breezy summer weather, and you might even be able to spot a nearby fireworks show — minus the crowds and mobs of children.

3. Go on a romantic “getaway.” Almost every town has its appeal on the 4th, so head to your local tourist hot spot. Breaking your usual routine and taking advantage of what your town or city has to offer will make you feel like you’re on a mini vacation. Plus, experiencing new activities with your guy is exciting.

4. Bake a 4th of July cake. Don’t go all Betty Crocker on your guy, but baking a festive cake with him can be a flirty, fun way to get some one-on-one time. Top the cake with whipped cream, blueberries, and strawberries. Hint: If you happen to buy too much whipped cream, you can always find, um, other uses for it.

5. Head to an outdoor concert. A lot of cities host 4th of July concert and firework shows (what’s not to like about two-for-one dates?). Check out your local paper to see what’s going on nearby. Don’t feel like springing for tickets? You can usually mingle your way close enough to the concert stage, but outside the seat parameter, to listen to the live music for free.

6. Host a BBQ. We all know guys like to barbecue, so let your man be manly as he grills up the hamburgers and ribs. A casual cookout can be a great way to break the ice and introduce him to your family or friends. Don’t forget the festive cocktails!

7. Do something historic. Google your town or city to find out what local American memorials or museums you can visit. You’ll both learn a bit about the past and get a renewed appreciation for your heritage.

8. Get wet. When we think of July we think beaches and bikinis. If you don’t live near a beach, find a friend with a pool or buy a day pass to a public pool. Upload summer tunes to your iPod and have your guy rub you down with sunscreen and cocoa butter. You two can even sport those corny American flag bathing suits if you feel so inclined.

9. Have a movie night. If you’re far away from the beach and fireworks, invite your guy over for a movie night, 4th of July style. Pick out a few festive flicks and cozy up in front of the TV. Some suggestions: Born on the Fourth of July, Independence Day, and The Patriot.

10. Bond over a bonfire. You could always forgo the fireworks and curl up around a campfire with him. Bring along sparklers to get into the spirit.

 

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Undeniable Signs Your Ex Wants You Back After A Breakup

It’s obvious.

Relationships aren’t always a straight line. While movies teach us that there is an order to which things must go if we’re going to make our relationships go the distance, the truth is that most of the time life is just too kooky to follow any prescribed guidelines.

Sure, some people do meet their partners, flirt, date, fall in love, and get married. But then there’s, you know… everybody else on planet Earth. You meet, you flirt, and then you lose their number. You start dating and break up abruptly only to get back together three years later. Relationships and “plans” don’t exactly go together brilliantly.

Is it any wonder then that people get so confused about where they stand when it comes to the person they are dating? Figuring out if someone is flirting with you is tricky enough on its own, but trying to decode the signs your ex wants you back after a breakup, that’s like advanced level mathematics.

If you split up with a girlfriend and she’s still in your life, chances are you have asked yourself at least once “Does my ex miss me?” and thought about whether or not the two of you should get back together. You’ve probably also wondered if she misses you.

Since you can’t exactly come out and ask her that (at least not without ingesting several different beers and probably some questionable snack foods), we’re here to help you figure out if there’s a possibility she’s still harboring those romantic feelings from days of yore!

Here are 15 signs your ex misses you and wants you back.

1. She picks a fight with you for no reason.

Actually, there is a reason. The reason is that she’s still harboring feelings for you and just straight-up doesn’t know how to deal with that.

So what does she do instead? Yell at you because your car is “stupid.”

2. She finds silly reasons to reach out.

“I saw a guy wearing a coat on the street that looked just like yours so I had to call and see if it was you!” No, she didn’t. She missed you and needed the excuse to call you u

3. She’s all over your social media.

Sure, nothing noteworthy about liking a couple of pics on Instagram, but liking every pic posted since you guys split? She’s missing you.

4. She tries to make you jealous.

Speaking of social media, take a peep at her feed. Is she rocking new hair, a low-cut top, a new dude or two? It’s no accident — she’s trying to get your attention.

5. She complains about her current relationship.

Sure, the two of you agreed to be friends, but all this griping about her new guy could indicate that she wants to be with you and not him.

6. She gets jealous of the women you date.

Of course, she doesn’t see it that way. She just thinks you could do better. Like, you know, getting back together with her

7. She won’t return your stuff.

You know she still has your favorite t-shirt, but she denies it. Why? Because it still smells like you and she can’t let go of that.

8. She talks about you with your mutual friends.

You hear from one friend or another that she’s talking about you fondly. She’s trying to get back into your life and it’s a truly grassroots campaign.

9. She gets nostalgic out of nowhere.

As far as you’re concerned, the first time you met her parents was a disaster… which is why it’s so weird she’s telling the story like it’s sweet and funny now, and you didn’t totally set her dad on fire during the fondue party. My girlfriend misses you!

10. She booty calls you late at night.

Hell, if she’s booty calling you at all it could be evidence that she’s still hooked.

11. She refuses to talk to you after you split.

You thought everything was cool but now she’s giving you the cold shoulder. She isn’t mad, she’s hurting and she misses you.

12. She hasn’t dated anybody new.

She’s holding out, not because she couldn’t get someone new easily, but because she wants to get back together with you!

13. She shows up to all the same events as you do.

She wasn’t always a party girl, which makes her sudden appearances at the same social gatherings as you a little obvious. She wants to reconnect and she’s making sure it happens.

14. She mentions things about you that she misses.

“I miss your smile” doesn’t just mean you have a great set of teeth. It means she misses you and saying she misses just one piece of you is a lot easier.

15. She’s sending you romantic texts and sexts.

How much more of a clue do you need, man? She wants you, needs you and misses you. She is basically telling you so.

 

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20 Easy-To-Miss Signs You’re In Love With The Wrong Person – Part 2

11. Their Behavior In Public Sometimes Embarrasses You

If you have a partner who is unable to act like an adult in public, you may be with the wrong person, Rappaport says. Maybe they have an annoying habit of getting super rowdy or maybe they don’t show respect for servers. “You don’t want to be apologizing for your partner’s bad behavior,” she says. If you find yourself in situations where you feel the need to make excuses or apologize for your partner’s behavior, you’re probably in love with the wrong person.

If this is happening in your relationship, talk to your partner about it. Don’t bring it up at the moment, and berate them like a child. Instead, wait until you’re alone together and have a serious talk. “Wait until you’re out of the situation, your emotions have neutralized and you’re in a private space to tell your partner that they embarrassed you and why,” Campana says. If it goes well, you can use this conversation as a way to understand your partner and possibly bring you closer together. If your partner can’t take the conversation seriously, it’s a telling sign that they’re not serious about you.

12. You Don’t Feel Comfortable Talking To Your Partner About What You Really Want In Bed

The definition of “good sex” varies from person to person. As Ricciardi says, “It’s unrealistic to think you’re going to be craving your partner’s body 24/7, 365 days a year like lovebirds do in the movies, but having a healthy sex life with lots of passion and desire is super important.” If you find that your partner isn’t as interested in things that you are in the bedroom or you find yourself not being sexually pleased, she says you may have fallen in love with the wrong person. Sure, many people have different libido levels or want different things in bed. Although communication is key, you need to have that level of intimacy in order to feel comfortable enough to tell your partner what you really want. “If you’re with the right person, your pleasure should be important to them,” she says.

13. You’re Having A Lot Of Sex Without Any Intimacy

If sexual compatibility is the only thing keeping you together, you may not be with the right one.

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“Most people think that regular sex with your partner means a healthy relationship, but not always,” Ponaman says. Instead, “emotional, connected sex” equates to a healthy relationship. If you’ve fallen in love with the wrong person, you may have this idea that having more sex is the key to keeping your relationship alive. According to Ponaman, many couples unconsciously shift from sex with an emotional connection to sex for necessity. “If it becomes something you pencil into your schedule, it’s no longer an act of love but a ‘to-do,'” she says. If sex is the only thing keeping the two of you together, that’s a sign you may be with the wrong one.

14. You Overthink Everything You’re Going To Say Because You Worry About What Your Partner Will Think

While it’s important to watch what you say, it’s even more important to have the freedom to express your feelings. When you’re in love with the wrong person, you will have a hard time being your true self around them. As Ellen Bolin, certified professional relationship coach, tells us, “You’ll never want to disappoint or ‘rock the boat,’ so you worry about how your partner is going to react to what you may want or need.” The right person will make you feel 100% comfortable being yourself. You’ll be able to say whatever you want without feeling like you’re going to be judged or ridiculed. If your partner triggers your deeply rooted insecurities or fears, reconsider whether this is a relationship that’s worth staying in. “Every relationship brings out different sides of our personality,” Campana says. “The most important thing is that the sides our partner brings out are the sides that we really like.”

15. They Like Having Things Go Their Way

“If you have a partner that is a bit selfish and has to have their way all the time, you may be … with someone who has not grown up sufficiently enough to be in a relationship,” Rappaport says. A healthy relationship with the right person is one where there’s compromise. You should be able to feel like your voice and your opinions truly matter to them. If you don’t, you might have fallen for someone who’s all wrong for you because they don’t respect you enough to see you as an equal.

16. You Don’t Care If Your Friends Or Family Like Them

Your friends and family can see things about your partner that you don't.

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As Samantha Daniels, Dating Expert and Founder of Samantha’s Table Matchmaking tells us, this is a big one for the majority of people in relationships. “The blessing of your friends and family can make or break any relationship,” she says. But if you find yourself thinking that you don’t care if your friends and family like the person you’re in love with, this may be a sign you’re in love with the wrong person. “This typically indicates that you might not feel as strongly about this person as you thought because if you did, then you would seek validation from your friends and family members.”

17. Being Around Their Family Makes You Uneasy

“I’m not saying this is a deal-breaker, but it certainly can be,” Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells us. This is especially true if the family is super important to both of you. So if you just can’t stand their family (or vice versa), you may have picked the wrong person. “Chances are, no matter how crazy or wrong your partner’s family might be, they love them,” Trombetti says. “You may need to find someone to be in love with whose family is a better fit for you.” According to her, sometimes it happens. This is one of those things you really need to decide if you can live with.

18. They Are All About You And Your Needs Only

Having a partner who’s all about your needs may seem like a dream situation to some. But as dating coach Julie Spira says, this is an easy-to-miss sign that you’ve fallen in love with the wrong person. For example, when you and your partner are trying to choose a restaurant for dinner, your partner is the type to always (or most of the time) say, “I don’t care, you choose.” As Spira says, this constant catering to your needs could indicate that they don’t feel comfortable speaking up for their own wants or needs. “They may not feel comfortable enough to be themselves in the relationship or they struggle with their own feelings of insecurity and desire to please others,” she says. You should be with a partner, not someone who’s just going to wait and take orders from you. That is not the person you may want to be in a relationship with.

19. Your Relationship Makes You Feel Emotionally Exhausted

If your partner is emotionally exhausting, your relationship may be more trouble than it's worth.

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Nobody says relationships are easy. But it shouldn’t be so difficult to the point that you’re completely drained. As Daniels says, “a good relationship should leave you feeling energized, not drained.” If you realize that being with your significant other makes you feel emotionally exhausted, you may be in love with the wrong person. “This sign typically indicates that you don’t feel emotionally free and stable around this person, therefore you have to put up a front when you’re with them, leaving you emotionally drained,” she says.

20. You Love The Potential More Than The Reality

“​If you find yourself imaging who the person could be rather than who they actually are, this is a huge red flag,” Matlin says. ​In other words, you’re creating a fantasy scenario in your head while ignoring the realities of the situation. “Sometimes we love potential more than reality because we are actually scared of true vulnerability and commitment,” she says. “But this is self-sabotage in the making.” So if you find that your fantasy about your relationship doesn’t quite match up to reality, you may be in love with the wrong person.

It’s easy to beat yourself up when relationships fail or you keep going back to the same types of people that aren’t the best for you. But as Ponaman says, always have compassion for yourself.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, and this says nothing of your worth or ability to attract someone great,” she says. “This simply means you’ve made choices that are not aligned with who you truly are. If you want to find someone right for you, go back to square one. I know it’s hard to start over, but trust me, it’s worth it.”

Letting go of a situation that seems right but isn’t truly what you want can be hard. But if you can muster up the courage to do it, you can be in a relationship with the right person who loves you and who you love in return.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

20 Easy-To-Miss Signs You’re In Love With The Wrong Person – Part 1

For the most part, you can’t really choose who you happen to fall in love with. You can definitely choose what you want to do with those feelings, but you can’t force yourself to have feelings for someone and you can’t really force yourself to stop. As a result, it’s so easy to find yourself in a situation where you’ve fallen in love with the wrong person.

More often than not, these situations never really end well. If you think you’re in love with the wrong person for you, relationship experts Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola, authors of the upcoming book, How To Keep Your Marriage From Sucking, tell us, you’re in great company. “Almost all of us have been there, too,” they say.

Just think about it. If we all fell in love with the right person right away, none of us would have to deal with the pain of going through a breakup. You wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not your partner would cheat or why they seem to be checking out. You certainly wouldn’t have to look for the various signs that they’re “The One,” because you’d just know.

Oh… good show by the way.

The One (TV Series 2021– ) - IMDb

Sometimes knowing you’re in love with the wrong person will be obvious and sometimes it won’t be. So here are some easy-to-miss signs that you might be in love with the wrong person, according to experts.

1. You Communicate Your Concerns But Nothing Ever Changes

When you're in love with the wrong person, they won't change their behavior for the better no matter how many times you ask.

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“Waiting for your partner to change is a recipe for heartache,” Caitlin Killoren, relationship coach at relationship training app, Relish, tells us. In a healthy partnership, you and your partner will express your individual concerns and find a way to tackle issues together. But if you love the wrong person, you can have all the tough talks you want, and communicate your concerns as often as you like, but nothing ever changes. That’s because you can’t ever really expect to change a person. As Behrendt and Ruotola say, most people are reluctant to change on their own accord. In situations like this, it’s important to realize that this might be a long-drawn-out breakup in disguise. “Eventually you will need to be honest with yourself about where this relationship is or isn’t going,” they say.

2. Your Schedules Don’t Line Up

Have you ever fallen in love with someone who lives across the country in a different time zone or who works overnight, while you work a regular nine to five? If so, Bethany Ricciardi, a relationship expert with Too Timid tells us, you could be head over heels in love with the wrong one. Being in a long-distance relationship or having completely different work schedules doesn’t give you much time to spend together. Although these can work out with the right amount of trust and communication, there’s a reason why many of them don’t. “We all have wants and needs,” Ricciardi says. “Sometimes I like to think of us as flowers; we need to be given a little bit of sunshine and water every day. So who’s giving that to you when you and your partner never see each other?”

3. You’re Spending A Lot More Money For Your Relationship Than Your Partner Is

You may enjoy paying for everything in your relationship like date nights, dinners, surprise trips, or even a Netflix account. That’s totally fine. But as relationship coach Jenna Ponaman, CPC, ELI-MP tells us, “If your partner doesn’t make the effort to share in the responsibilities, this may be a sign of codependency.” The relationship has become more about necessity, and less about desire. If this continues, you may begin to feel a sense of imbalance. According to her, the relationship can become filled with resentment, arguments, and dissatisfaction. If paying for everything doesn’t seem like a bad sign to you, those are clear and obvious ones to pay attention to.

4. You’ve Started To Adopt Unhealthy Lifestyle Habits

If you started to adopt unhealthy habits after being with your partner for some time, they might not be the right person for you.

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If you used to practice self-care a lot, made sure to get a good amount of exercise weekly, and ate healthy before your partner and suddenly it changed, Ponaman says you may have fallen for the wrong person. “This varies from person to person, but healthy eating, for example, allows the body to feel rejuvenated, energized, and good,” she says. “If you were once a healthy eater and decided to ‘ease up’ on the lifestyle after you began to see your partner, it shows you and your partner’s lifestyle habits may not be fully aligned.” It really comes down to the reason behind why you decided to make the change. If it’s to make you two seem more compatible, you may have fallen for the wrong person.

5. Your Relationship Is A Never-Ending On-Again, Off-Again Saga

On-again, off-again situations may make you feel hopeful that one-day things are finally going to work out. But as Jenna Matlin, Clairvoyant Intuitive of The Queen of Wands Tarot tells us, “​The danger with on-again, off-again relationships is that you are inadvertently training yourself to return to the very thing that does not work.” So if you’re stuck in a cycle where you keep breaking up and getting back together, you may be in love with the wrong person. “[If] you find yourself in this situation, you have to break the cycle and go cold turkey if you can,” Matlin says. Furthermore, trying to maintain a friendship might not work either because it can lead you right back into that mess.

6. You Barely Spend Any Time With Your Friends And Family

Your life can change when you finally meet your match. But as Ponaman says, that’s not always a good thing. “Good change is when you make a choice that is clearly for your highest good, but if you feel like you’ve sacrificed something to make this person happy, sometimes this isn’t the healthiest of choices,” she says. For instance, if your relationship is causing you to spend a lot less time with your friends and family, you may have fallen for the wrong person. “In most cases, we tend to make these sacrifices to spend more time with our partners,” Ponaman says. “But this only happens because we don’t feel that we have had enough attention from our mates.” When you’re in a healthy relationship with the right one, she says you wouldn’t need to change your pre-relationship lifestyle to accommodate theirs.

7. They’re Not Into “Labels”

If your partner isn't into labeling the relationship but you are, it might be a bigger compatibility issue.

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Not everyone is big on labels and it’s not uncommon to be in a situation where one partner just wants to “see where it goes.” But if you’re in love with someone who hasn’t given you any signs of commitment and that’s what you really want, you probably fell for the wrong one. “That’s a pretty big disconnect,” Ashley Campana, certified matchmaker at Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking, tells us. “It’s reflective of a major difference in values.” If this is the case, communication is key. Tell your partner that putting a label on what you have matters to you and be clear on why. You can even start the conversation by talking about your boundaries for the relationship. “If your partner isn’t into it, you need to think about what that means for you,” Campana says. “What are your relationship goals and will your goals align with this partner? If not, then bye.”

8. You’re Only With Them Because It’s Comfortable

​Being in a relationship with someone who’s been around you for what seems like forever can make you feel comfortable. “But just because a person has been in your life for a long time and it feels comfortable, it does not mean that they are a good fit for who you are now, or will contribute to your growth moving forward,” Matlin says. If you feel like that passion and desire for your partner is lacking, she says you need to be willing to “step out into the wilderness” and trust that the right person will come to you. “Be willing to embrace ambiguity,” she says. “Trust the unknown. Be radically honest with yourself and what you truly want.”

9. You’ve Confused Being In Love With Having A Crush

Having an intense crush on someone may seem like love, but it’s important to differentiate the two. According to Matlin, a crush is sometimes one-sided. “It’s often an obsessive, overly emotional, and idealized focus on another person,” she says. Most importantly, there’s a huge distance between you and your person of interest. When that crush turns into unrequited love, you know you’ve fallen for the wrong person.

Loving someone, on the other hand, is to see the person for who they are and loving them for the good, bad, and ugly. As dating and relationship coach Rosalind Sedacca, CLC, tells us, “It’s usually based on a deeper sense of respect for who they are. We feel more accepting of and tolerant about their behavior, even when it doesn’t please us. We find a way to still love them, even when we don’t love their decisions and choices.”

10. Your Partner Isn’t The Type To Apologize

If your partner isn't emotionally mature enough to apologize, they are not the one for you.

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It’s important to remember that all couples get into disagreements. But how you choose to respond to each other at the moment can determine whether your relationship is right for you or not. “If your partner does or says something that hurts you deeply and is unable to apologize, this is a sign that they are uncomfortable admitting any wrongdoing,” relationship expert and spiritual counselor Davida Rappaport tells us. This is a major sign of emotional immaturity.

Saying “I’m sorry” is so simple and shows that you can take responsibility for your actions. “Without accountability, there can be no improvement,” Killoren says. If you’re with someone who can’t say sorry after doing something hurtful, you might have fallen in love with someone who’s possibly immature and most likely not right for you long-term.

I’ll have the rest of this article out by noon today!

Stay tuned!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Romantic Thanksgiving Date Ideas

A lot of people believe that Thanksgiving isn’t Thanksgiving unless you spend it stuffing yourself silly with food, surrounded by annoying uncles and aunts. But for couples without children or whose families are far away, Thanksgiving can be a wonderful opportunity to spend some romantic time together without distractions. So skip all of the stress this Thanksgiving and plan a special day for just the two of you with one of the ideas below.

Cook a meal together for two

While playing hostess to your in-laws and simultaneously cooking a Thanksgiving meal for 10 may seem like a recipe for a panic attack, cooking a turkey together with your best guy is filled with sexy opportunities. Envision sipping wine together as you stir the cranberry sauce and let your imagination run wild!

Have someone cook a meal for you

For those of you who think cooking is a chore rather than a delight, there’s nothing like enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner out on the town. Simply make a reservation, show-up and voila! While other women are spending the day slaving over a stove, you and your man can enjoy all of the pleasures of eating a five-course, candle-lit meal with none of the work.

Stay at a B&B

Holidays are so few and far between, why not extend your Thanksgiving into a Thanks-weekend and spend four days being thankful you’re not at home?

Go somewhere warm

Or even better, chuck the idea of a traditionally chilly Thanksgiving and relax the weekend away, basking in the sun at a tropical resort. The trees may not change color in Florida or the Bahamas, but there is still a lot of holiday cheer to be found there.

Watch a parade

You don’t even need to go anywhere to enjoy a romantic Thanksgiving. Sipping hot chocolate and holding hands together while watching a local parade can be just as lovely.

Or snuggle on the couch

Don’t even get dressed! Thanksgiving is one holiday that’s made for sleeping in, so don’t hesitate to ignore that alarm for once. You can always TiVo the parade and watch it later.

Volunteer at a soup kitchen

For couples in pursuit of the true meaning of Thanksgiving, soup kitchens and charity organizations are always in need of volunteers on the holiday when attendance is even higher than usual.

Go see a movie

One of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions is going out to the movies with my boyfriend, just the two of us.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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