10 Texts To Never Ever Send Your Ex (+5 He May Actually Want To Read)

The first few days after you break up with someone can feel pretty weird. You were used to texting this person all the time (with cute emojis included), telling them your every thought, and of course, hanging out with them regularly. Now, all of a sudden, there’s radio silence and all you can think about is what went wrong.

When you’re looking at your phone and wondering if it’s alright to get in contact with your ex-boyfriend, there are definitely some text messages that are totally cool… and some that he would frown at. In the art of breaking up, there’s a fine line between friendly and awkward.

Here are 10 texts to never send your ex, and five that he may actually want to read.

15. Never Send: ‘Who’s That Girl In Your Profile Pic?’

There’s really nothing worse than seeing a photo of your ex-boyfriend with another girl. You might be tempted to text him and ask who the girl in his social media profile picture is.

The problem? This will make you look kind of bad since you’ll look super jealous. This is a text message to never send your ex.

14. Never Send: ‘Remember When…?’

You might also be staring at your cell phone, wondering if you should text your ex and ask him, “Remember when we ate pizza for a week straight?” or “Remember that crazy vacation where everything went wrong?”

You don’t want to text him this, either, because it would just bug him.

13. Want To Read: ‘Want To Come To My Birthday Party?’

On the other hand, when it comes to text messages that your ex-boyfriend might actually want to read, asking him if he wants to come to your birthday party is one of them.

Maybe you said you would stay friends but haven’t made good on that promise. This would be a nice thing to do and a way of breaking the ice.

12. Never Send: ‘What’s Up?’

You never want to send a text that says “What’s up?” This is especially true if it’s late at night. This sends the message that you want to hang out and that you might still have feelings for him.

Even if that’s true, things might get awkward fast, and you probably would rather avoid that.

11. Never Send: ‘I Bumped Into Your Friend The Other Day’

You also don’t need to text your ex and mention that just the other day, you ran into one of his super good friends.

This is a totally unnecessary text message since he’ll probably hear about it. And he might think that you’re just trying to get in touch with him, not really saying anything.

10. Never Send: ‘I Love Your New Haircut’

If you texted your ex that you love his new haircut, that would creep him out. He would wonder how you knew since you haven’t seen him lately, and then he would realize that he posted a new photo of himself on social media.

You know that you check him out online… but you don’t want to make that super obvious to him.

9. Want To Read: ‘No Hard Feelings, Let’s Be Friendly’

Your ex probably wouldn’t mind if you texted him, “No hard feelings, let’s be friendly.” This is a particularly great text message to send if you two have mutual friends or run into each other on a regular basis.

No one likes an awkward breakup, and this would help with that.

8. Never Send: ‘Are You Dating Again?’

You don’t want your ex-boyfriend to ask you if you’re dating again, so you really don’t want to ask him this question, either. The truth is that you don’t need to know this information. You two broke up.

He’s not going to want to give you a straight answer, anyway, and then you’ll get even more frustrated.

7. Never Send: ‘We Need To Talk’

Rehashing the breakup is never a good idea. Yes, even if you thought of the perfect comeback to something that he said, or you think that you can “win the breakup.”

It’s not the best idea to text him “we need to talk.” He’s probably just going to say that he doesn’t want to.

6. Want To Read: ‘I Heard About This Great Job’

Your ex might want to read a text from you saying that you heard about an awesome job that could be his dream one. Maybe you can help him out and refer him for a position that you heard about.

If you two are on good terms, there’s no reason not to send this text message.

5. Never Send: ‘I’m Still Annoyed With You’

If you ever want to text your ex that you’re annoyed with him, that’s not a great idea. You also don’t want to text something that continues the argument that you had or whatever caused the breakup.

This will just start a fight or make him upset, and that’s not that productive, right?

4. Never Send: ‘Did I Leave Any Stuff At Your Place?’

If you text your ex that you wonder if you left anything at his apartment, he’ll be able to tell that you’re looking for an excuse to get in contact with him.

If he’s a decent person, he’ll definitely let you know if you did leave stuff there, so this is kind of unnecessary.

3. Never Send: ‘How’s Work Going?’

This isn’t the best text message to send, either. He’ll be confused that you’re getting in touch with him and he won’t want to tell you too many details.

After all, you’re not together anymore, so you both need to find other people to talk to regularly and confide in.

2. Want To Read: ‘I Just Wanted To See How You’re Doing’

Did you break up on friendly terms? Maybe it’s been a while and you really are curious about how he’s doing. It’s totally okay to check-in and it’s okay to ask him about his life these days.

He’s going to appreciate it and he’ll want to know how things are going for you too, for sure.

1. Want To Read: ‘I Miss You’

Your ex-boyfriend might actually want to read a text from you that says that you miss him. If you really think that you have a chance of getting back together, why not go for it and take a chance?

You never know… he could be waiting to hear this from you, and maybe he was too shy to text you the same thing.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Will My Ex Come Back? 14 Positive Signs They Regret Leaving You

You and your ex broke up, but you’re hungry for them to return. We’ve all been there. But how can you know the answer to, will my ex come back or not?

Haven’t we all wondered, will my ex come back? I know I have. Though I broke up with an ex, it took me years to move on. I was constantly in a debate with myself—wondering whether or not I made the right decision. Of course, we would go back and forth, breaking up one day and getting back together the next.

In the moments where I was alone, I constantly worried about whether or not my ex would come back to me. In hindsight, I was in a destructive relationship of game playing, but that’s not necessarily the case with you.

You may have broken up with your partner or taken a break and realized that your relationship is something worth fighting for.

Will my ex come back?

If that’s the case, naturally, you want your ex to come back to you. Perhaps you think too much time has passed or that they’ve moved on. But, listen, if you want to give the relationship another try, it’s never too late.

If you’re wondering, will my ex come back, you don’t want to live with the big “what if” question and regret not giving the relationship another shot.

Now, if your partner is abusive, then you should move on and definitely not try to get back with your ex. But if the breakup was based on something else: not enough alone time, needing to find yourself, etc., then why not give it another try?

Who knows what will happen? And if you end up breaking up again, at least there’s no regret. You can get back together with your ex… if you want.

#1 You feel it. I know you probably think I’m a hippie, but listen, your intuition isn’t lying. If you feel they want to get back together with you, you’re probably right. Your gut can tell you what’s going on; all you need to do is listen. We’re usually able to feel people who are close to you, and this includes your ex.

#2 They stay in contact with you. When we’re over a relationship, we cut all ties. This is the only way we can move on and heal from the breakup. But if your ex is still keeping contact with you, they’re trying to see if they have another chance. There’s no other explanation unless they want to torture you.

#3 Your ex wants to spend time with you. Come on, if this happens, you know what’s going on. Of course, unless they just want to have sex. If that’s the case, they don’t want you back; they want sex – big difference. But if they want to hang out, watch movies, go for walks, or grab dinner, they’re not looking for just a bang. They want you back.

#4 They’re nostalgic. When you bump into them, they talk about the good times they shared with you, almost as if they miss those moments. And that’s because they do; they miss you. The memories they have of you are positive, and now they’re figuring out whether breaking up with you was a good idea in the first place.

#5 They ask about you. You don’t ask about people unless you care about them. If they’re asking your friends about you, they want to know what’s happening in your life. Of course, they’ll try not to be too obvious, but asking about you already blew their cover. 

#6 They ask if you’re seeing anyone. Well, you know they wouldn’t be asking you this if they didn’t care. But they’re asking you because they want to know what’s going on. If you’re single, they’ll make a move. If you’re in a relationship, they’ll probably poke and see how long the relationship has been going on; wagering their odds of getting you back.

#7 The breakup wasn’t concrete. You decided to go on a “break,” but there was nothing concrete about your breakup. In fact, you didn’t even break up, there was just a long pause. If there was no closure, there’s always a chance for things to start up again.

#8 They tell you that they’ve changed. There may have been some issues you couldn’t work out because you both weren’t able to handle them. But, time apart has given you the opportunity to grow as people. Your ex has noticed this positive change, and now you two are more mature to enter the relationship again.

#9 You both didn’t want to break up. Maybe school was too much, or work was taking over your life. And though you didn’t want to break up, you didn’t see any other option. If you both didn’t want it, but did so out of an external force, then the love you share is still there. That’s the love you can’t forget.

#10 They see you’ve changed. When you broke up, it’s possible you weren’t in the best of places. But with some much-needed space apart, they see how much you’ve grown and changed. They see the breakup helped you grow as a person, and now they’re ready to give it another shot.

#11 It feels natural to be together. Whenever you see each other, it just feels right. You can’t explain why, but next to your ex, everything feels secure and comforting. Your ex also feels the same way and doesn’t hesitate to tell you. If you feel “right” being together, your ex will come back.

#12 You’re both single. Well, this is a pretty important factor. Most people won’t try to get back with their ex if they’re in a relationship. But if you are both single, there’s a high chance they’ll try to weasel their way back to you. This is the moment where everything is laid out nice and neat. They don’t need to fight your partner or sneak around and send you DMs.

#13 You were together for a long time. Long term relationships always have a high chance of patching things up and reuniting. You were together for a long time, so it’s natural to want to get back together with someone who knows you like the back of their hand.

#14 They’re getting close with your family again. Ah yes, this is a pretty subtle sign your ex will come back to you. If they’re trying to get close to your family again, it’s not because they love hanging out with your parents. They’re trying to reconnect with the people who are the closest to you in an effort to get you back.

Do you have an answer to, will my ex come back? You now have all the signs you could possibly want. After reading the signs, what do you think? 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

If You Still Miss Your Ex Years After Your Breakup, Experts Suggest This

Even if you’re completely over your ex, you might still feel wistful hearing the Cardi B song they played on repeat, or buying their favorite cereal. You might feel nostalgic reminiscing on the magical Miami getaway you took together, or the warmth of the winter holidays you spent with their family. Next thing you know, déjà vu creeps up as you re-read their favorite novel at their go-to café. The fact of matter is, you may still miss your ex years after your breakup, and that’s OK. While you may feel guilty, frustrated, or unsettled about this fact, know there’s nothing wrong with wondering how your ex is doing or even musing on the fun times you shared.

Todd Baratz, a psychotherapist who specializes in sex and relationships, says that sometimes, missing your ex can go hand-in-hand with missing who you were in that relationship, or simply missing the relationship in general. Because you might not actually miss your ex. You might just be craving someone you can snuggle, split some noodles, and marathon-watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine with. And even if you do miss your ex for the person they are and how they made you feel, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. “Some people think that if you miss your ex, you’re not over them. Don’t listen,” Baratz tells Elite Daily. “It’s OK to miss someone.” Not only is it OK, but it’s extremely common, Baratz says. It’s worth considering how grief and loss play key roles in everyone’s emotional, post-breakup turmoil.

Westend61/Westend61/Getty Images

“There isn’t one way to grieve and get over lost love. It’s a huge transition that is often accompanied by longing and even regret,” Baratz says. “People’s experiences after the end of a long-term relationship are often more intense because of the cultural misinformation and judgment that is out there about relationships. Don’t listen to the B.S. — know that whatever you are feeling is legit and valid.”

He adds that for many people, getting over an ex or feeling “less bereft” can take a long time. But instead of recognizing your mournful feelings about your ex and beating yourself up over them, Baratz recommends looking at your emotions as an opportunity for introspection.

A key way to do that is by going to therapy, if possible. “If it’s been years [since your breakup], that is totally OK,” he says. “But [the feeling of missing your ex] definitely is reflective of powerful meaning, that I would encourage you to utilize. A therapist can help you work through the messages that may be hiding beneath the feeling of longing for your ex.”

Psychotherapy concept. Sad afro lady sharing her problems at counselor's office, sitting on couch and emotionally telling something
Shutterstock

One of those takeaways can be that you miss being in a relationship. Clinical psychologist Dr. Joshua Klapow previously told Elite Daily that moving on from a relationship “means getting out of a routine,” including losing someone you regularly talk to, as well as the “social status of being in a relationship.” Ask yourself: Do you miss your ex as a person (their personality, the way the treated you, their mannerisms and their habits), or do you miss the happy moments you shared and having someone to hang out with 24/7?

If you can’t see a therapist to talk out your feelings, remember that self-care after a breakup is key. That can mean journaling, taking warm baths, breathing fresh air, eating good food, and getting adequate sleep. And of course, in this technologically plugged-in day and age, a valid form of self-care is also muting or blocking your ex on social media.

Along with therapy, Baratz also encourages his clients to date and have sex with other people, if they want. Missing an ex, he says, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not ready to start dating again after a breakup. “You’d never turn down your dream job because you were sad about quitting your prior one. So, go out and date other people! Have sex with other people,” he says. “This can be extremely helpful in opening yourself up to feeling desire and being desired. This can be powerful and is often part of the process of healing from a breakup.”

FilippoBacci/E+/Getty Images

And finally, if you feel like it’s appropriate, you can also reach out to your ex for closure — but proceed with caution. “Just be mindful about why you want to or don’t want to be in contact with an ex. If your relationship was a long-term relationship, it’s not uncommon that folks remain friends. That is OK, too!” Baratz says. “Just make sure to establish new rules alongside the new relationship that is no longer romantic.”

If you and your ex haven’t spoken in a long time (or at all), be extra thoughtful. “After you have spoken, take time to reflect upon the feelings that arise without judging them, or using them to try and make conclusions,” Baratz advises. That’s to say, don’t start scheming to get back together just because your chat didn’t blow up into an argument. The ability to just observe your emotions without passing judgement is crucial, Baratz says.

Whether you’re decoding your twinges of longing on your own, unpacking them with a therapist, or re-learning desire by getting back in the dating game, be patient with yourself. It might be awhile before you feel OK clicking through their Instagram Stories or listening to Shawn Mendes, but that’s all a part of the process. You’re exactly where you need to be.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly