10 Texts To Never Ever Send Your Ex (+5 He May Actually Want To Read)

The first few days after you break up with someone can feel pretty weird. You were used to texting this person all the time (with cute emojis included), telling them your every thought, and of course, hanging out with them regularly. Now, all of a sudden, there’s radio silence and all you can think about is what went wrong.

When you’re looking at your phone and wondering if it’s alright to get in contact with your ex-boyfriend, there are definitely some text messages that are totally cool… and some that he would frown at. In the art of breaking up, there’s a fine line between friendly and awkward.

Here are 10 texts to never send your ex, and five that he may actually want to read.

15. Never Send: ‘Who’s That Girl In Your Profile Pic?’

There’s really nothing worse than seeing a photo of your ex-boyfriend with another girl. You might be tempted to text him and ask who the girl in his social media profile picture is.

The problem? This will make you look kind of bad since you’ll look super jealous. This is a text message to never send your ex.

14. Never Send: ‘Remember When…?’

You might also be staring at your cell phone, wondering if you should text your ex and ask him, “Remember when we ate pizza for a week straight?” or “Remember that crazy vacation where everything went wrong?”

You don’t want to text him this, either, because it would just bug him.

13. Want To Read: ‘Want To Come To My Birthday Party?’

On the other hand, when it comes to text messages that your ex-boyfriend might actually want to read, asking him if he wants to come to your birthday party is one of them.

Maybe you said you would stay friends but haven’t made good on that promise. This would be a nice thing to do and a way of breaking the ice.

12. Never Send: ‘What’s Up?’

You never want to send a text that says “What’s up?” This is especially true if it’s late at night. This sends the message that you want to hang out and that you might still have feelings for him.

Even if that’s true, things might get awkward fast, and you probably would rather avoid that.

11. Never Send: ‘I Bumped Into Your Friend The Other Day’

You also don’t need to text your ex and mention that just the other day, you ran into one of his super good friends.

This is a totally unnecessary text message since he’ll probably hear about it. And he might think that you’re just trying to get in touch with him, not really saying anything.

10. Never Send: ‘I Love Your New Haircut’

If you texted your ex that you love his new haircut, that would creep him out. He would wonder how you knew since you haven’t seen him lately, and then he would realize that he posted a new photo of himself on social media.

You know that you check him out online… but you don’t want to make that super obvious to him.

9. Want To Read: ‘No Hard Feelings, Let’s Be Friendly’

Your ex probably wouldn’t mind if you texted him, “No hard feelings, let’s be friendly.” This is a particularly great text message to send if you two have mutual friends or run into each other on a regular basis.

No one likes an awkward breakup, and this would help with that.

8. Never Send: ‘Are You Dating Again?’

You don’t want your ex-boyfriend to ask you if you’re dating again, so you really don’t want to ask him this question, either. The truth is that you don’t need to know this information. You two broke up.

He’s not going to want to give you a straight answer, anyway, and then you’ll get even more frustrated.

7. Never Send: ‘We Need To Talk’

Rehashing the breakup is never a good idea. Yes, even if you thought of the perfect comeback to something that he said, or you think that you can “win the breakup.”

It’s not the best idea to text him “we need to talk.” He’s probably just going to say that he doesn’t want to.

6. Want To Read: ‘I Heard About This Great Job’

Your ex might want to read a text from you saying that you heard about an awesome job that could be his dream one. Maybe you can help him out and refer him for a position that you heard about.

If you two are on good terms, there’s no reason not to send this text message.

5. Never Send: ‘I’m Still Annoyed With You’

If you ever want to text your ex that you’re annoyed with him, that’s not a great idea. You also don’t want to text something that continues the argument that you had or whatever caused the breakup.

This will just start a fight or make him upset, and that’s not that productive, right?

4. Never Send: ‘Did I Leave Any Stuff At Your Place?’

If you text your ex that you wonder if you left anything at his apartment, he’ll be able to tell that you’re looking for an excuse to get in contact with him.

If he’s a decent person, he’ll definitely let you know if you did leave stuff there, so this is kind of unnecessary.

3. Never Send: ‘How’s Work Going?’

This isn’t the best text message to send, either. He’ll be confused that you’re getting in touch with him and he won’t want to tell you too many details.

After all, you’re not together anymore, so you both need to find other people to talk to regularly and confide in.

2. Want To Read: ‘I Just Wanted To See How You’re Doing’

Did you break up on friendly terms? Maybe it’s been a while and you really are curious about how he’s doing. It’s totally okay to check-in and it’s okay to ask him about his life these days.

He’s going to appreciate it and he’ll want to know how things are going for you too, for sure.

1. Want To Read: ‘I Miss You’

Your ex-boyfriend might actually want to read a text from you that says that you miss him. If you really think that you have a chance of getting back together, why not go for it and take a chance?

You never know… he could be waiting to hear this from you, and maybe he was too shy to text you the same thing.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Here’s How To Digitally Disconnect From Your Ex After A Breakup & Recharge

In the early 2000s, dealing with a breakup meant packing up all of the photos and mementos from your relationship, throwing them in a box, and hiding it all away in your closet. In 2020, however, recovering from heartbreak often looks more like establishing some boundaries from your ex’s social media. Whether you turn your phone off or put your old boo on mute, knowing how to digitally disconnect from your ex after a breakup can help you start to heal ASAP.

“After a breakup, I always recommend my clients start with removing all of the emotional triggers around them,” Pricilla Martinez, CEO of Regroop Life Coaching, tells us. “Nothing is more detrimental to your healing than thinking your ex moved on from you when you’re still in the middle of dealing with all of your pain.”

According to Martinez, looking at your ex’s social media can give you the impression that your ex wasn’t affected by your breakup as much as you were. While everyone handles heartbreak differently, no one wants to feel like they’re competing for the title of “Who Cares The Least.”

If you need to recharge after heartbreak, here are 12 tips to digitally disconnect from your ex.

Unhappy woman reading bad news on cell phone and crying while sitting in the bedroom.

Shutterstock

1. Limit Your Contact With Them

For Trina Leckie, host of Breakup BOOST podcast, the best way to disconnect after a breakup is to limit all the digital contact you have with your ex, from texting and calling to looking at their social media. “You have to accept that the relationship has come to an end and make your healing the priority,” Leckie tells us. “When you keep someone top of mind, you don’t give yourself a chance to distance yourself to get your emotions in check and get the clarity you need.”

2. Mute Their Account

If you find you keep peeking on your ex’s page or you can’t resist clicking on notifications from them, Martinez suggests putting your ex on mute. “I would say you should mute their account until you are fully ready to unfollow them,” Martinez says. “If you aren’t ready to completely cut them off, mute their account, so it doesn’t pop up on your feed.” Putting their texts on “Do Not Disturb” may also help you, so you don’t get a notification if they do reach out, and can choose to respond on your own time when and if you feel ready to.

3. Consider Unfollowing Them

If you’re still following your ex after a breakup, it can be easy to catch yourself lurking on their page a little bit or overthinking everything they’re up to. As Martinez shares, showing your ex the digital door, (i.e., unfriending or unfollowing them on social media) can help you get some final closure. “If you’re not interested in having a connection with this person, then why follow them?” Martinez says. “If you really want to close that chapter, you don’t need an update on their next partner, their job, or what they had for dinner.”

4. Don’t Be Afraid To Block Them

If your relationship ended badly and you never want to talk to your ex again, or you’re really struggling to get over the heartache, Leckie says it’s OK to fully block your ex from social media and from texting or calling. “The goal is out of sight, out mind,” Leckie says. “That way, you aren’t tempted to check on them, and you won’t constantly be wondering if you are going to hear from them.”

5. Archive Your Pics (Or Fully Delete Them)

Honestly, bless Instagram’s archiving feature. If you’re tired of seeing old couples pics of you and your ex but aren’t quite ready to delete everything, archiving your photos is the IG equivalent of throwing a box under the bed. You don’t have to see it, but it’s not gone forever. Of course, if you’re really feeling done, it’s OK to delete photos, too.

6. Kick Them Off Your Netflix/Amazon Prime/Hulu Account

If you and your boo shared a bunch of online accounts, consider this the time to change all your passwords. You don’t need to see what movies they’re watching or what annoying things they’re buying on Amazon Prime.

Profils of a sad woman checking smart phone online content in the street

Shutterstock

7. Stop Sharing Your Location

Seeing that your ex is getting sushi at that place that you told them about is just going to make you upset. Disconnect from Find My Friends, Snapchat’s Snap Map, or anything else that tells you exactly where they are.

8. Unfollow Or Mute Their Friends

Know what you don’t need to see? Your ex’s best friend’s IG Story of your ex out at the “club.” If you follow a bunch of your ex’s pals, consider unfollowing or muting them for a while. Or forever.

9. Unfriend Them On Venmo

You may think this is extra, but what’s really extra is going on Venmo to pay your roomie for your electricity bill and seeing your ex Venmoing that person you always used to fight about (because they would flirt in front of you) for “drinks” at your favorite bar.

10. Get Them Off All Your Astrology Apps

I don’t care what Co-Star says, they are not your perfect match, and you don’t need to see what intentions they are setting for today.

11. Unfollow Their Spotify

You may have forgotten that you even followed them on Spotify, but you will always remember spitting out your coffee at work when a playlist titled “Screw My Ex” came up in your Spotify friend activity.

12. Don’t Forget Finstas

Your Finsta, their Finsta, their friends’ Finstas… when you start muting or unfollowing, don’t forget about everyone’s second account. You won’t regret it.

Recovering from a breakup can be hard for everyone. Still, getting some digital distance from your ex can help you heal faster. And sometimes, emotionally recharging means letting your phone die for a bit.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Will My Ex Come Back? 14 Positive Signs They Regret Leaving You

You and your ex broke up, but you’re hungry for them to return. We’ve all been there. But how can you know the answer to, will my ex come back or not?

Haven’t we all wondered, will my ex come back? I know I have. Though I broke up with an ex, it took me years to move on. I was constantly in a debate with myself—wondering whether or not I made the right decision. Of course, we would go back and forth, breaking up one day and getting back together the next.

In the moments where I was alone, I constantly worried about whether or not my ex would come back to me. In hindsight, I was in a destructive relationship of game playing, but that’s not necessarily the case with you.

You may have broken up with your partner or taken a break and realized that your relationship is something worth fighting for.

Will my ex come back?

If that’s the case, naturally, you want your ex to come back to you. Perhaps you think too much time has passed or that they’ve moved on. But, listen, if you want to give the relationship another try, it’s never too late.

If you’re wondering, will my ex come back, you don’t want to live with the big “what if” question and regret not giving the relationship another shot.

Now, if your partner is abusive, then you should move on and definitely not try to get back with your ex. But if the breakup was based on something else: not enough alone time, needing to find yourself, etc., then why not give it another try?

Who knows what will happen? And if you end up breaking up again, at least there’s no regret. You can get back together with your ex… if you want.

#1 You feel it. I know you probably think I’m a hippie, but listen, your intuition isn’t lying. If you feel they want to get back together with you, you’re probably right. Your gut can tell you what’s going on; all you need to do is listen. We’re usually able to feel people who are close to you, and this includes your ex.

#2 They stay in contact with you. When we’re over a relationship, we cut all ties. This is the only way we can move on and heal from the breakup. But if your ex is still keeping contact with you, they’re trying to see if they have another chance. There’s no other explanation unless they want to torture you.

#3 Your ex wants to spend time with you. Come on, if this happens, you know what’s going on. Of course, unless they just want to have sex. If that’s the case, they don’t want you back; they want sex – big difference. But if they want to hang out, watch movies, go for walks, or grab dinner, they’re not looking for just a bang. They want you back.

#4 They’re nostalgic. When you bump into them, they talk about the good times they shared with you, almost as if they miss those moments. And that’s because they do; they miss you. The memories they have of you are positive, and now they’re figuring out whether breaking up with you was a good idea in the first place.

#5 They ask about you. You don’t ask about people unless you care about them. If they’re asking your friends about you, they want to know what’s happening in your life. Of course, they’ll try not to be too obvious, but asking about you already blew their cover. 

#6 They ask if you’re seeing anyone. Well, you know they wouldn’t be asking you this if they didn’t care. But they’re asking you because they want to know what’s going on. If you’re single, they’ll make a move. If you’re in a relationship, they’ll probably poke and see how long the relationship has been going on; wagering their odds of getting you back.

#7 The breakup wasn’t concrete. You decided to go on a “break,” but there was nothing concrete about your breakup. In fact, you didn’t even break up, there was just a long pause. If there was no closure, there’s always a chance for things to start up again.

#8 They tell you that they’ve changed. There may have been some issues you couldn’t work out because you both weren’t able to handle them. But, time apart has given you the opportunity to grow as people. Your ex has noticed this positive change, and now you two are more mature to enter the relationship again.

#9 You both didn’t want to break up. Maybe school was too much, or work was taking over your life. And though you didn’t want to break up, you didn’t see any other option. If you both didn’t want it, but did so out of an external force, then the love you share is still there. That’s the love you can’t forget.

#10 They see you’ve changed. When you broke up, it’s possible you weren’t in the best of places. But with some much-needed space apart, they see how much you’ve grown and changed. They see the breakup helped you grow as a person, and now they’re ready to give it another shot.

#11 It feels natural to be together. Whenever you see each other, it just feels right. You can’t explain why, but next to your ex, everything feels secure and comforting. Your ex also feels the same way and doesn’t hesitate to tell you. If you feel “right” being together, your ex will come back.

#12 You’re both single. Well, this is a pretty important factor. Most people won’t try to get back with their ex if they’re in a relationship. But if you are both single, there’s a high chance they’ll try to weasel their way back to you. This is the moment where everything is laid out nice and neat. They don’t need to fight your partner or sneak around and send you DMs.

#13 You were together for a long time. Long term relationships always have a high chance of patching things up and reuniting. You were together for a long time, so it’s natural to want to get back together with someone who knows you like the back of their hand.

#14 They’re getting close with your family again. Ah yes, this is a pretty subtle sign your ex will come back to you. If they’re trying to get close to your family again, it’s not because they love hanging out with your parents. They’re trying to reconnect with the people who are the closest to you in an effort to get you back.

Do you have an answer to, will my ex come back? You now have all the signs you could possibly want. After reading the signs, what do you think? 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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Michelle – Chapter 24 – Last Goodbye

“When I saw Michelle for the first time, I thought, That’s the saddest girl I’ve ever seen….
and the most beautiful.”

I think this is my final entry in the long running Michelle series. 

Because she’s long gone.

I wish only health and happiness to her and her family.

 

“Do you think I can have one more kiss? I’ll find closure on your lips, and then I’ll go.”

“Maybe one more lunch and one more dinner and drinks?”

“I’ll be full and happy, and then we can part.”

“But in between meals, maybe we can lie in bed one more time.”

“One more prolonged moment where time suspends indefinitely as you rest your pretty head against me.”

You always said, “At the end of the day, I wish I could start all over and have it again with you.”

My hope is if we had “one mores,” they’d equal a lifetime, and I’ll never have to get to the part where I let you go.

But that’s not real, is it?

There are no more, “One mores.”

I met you when everything was new and exciting here in Philly, and the possibilities of the world seemed endless.

And they still are.

For you and for me.

But not us.

Somewhere between then and now, here and there, I guess we didn’t grow apart, you grew up.

I look at your beautiful face. I’m trying to memorize every lovely detail. Because I know I’ll never see you again.

When something breaks, if the pieces are large enough, you can fix it.

Unfortunately, sometimes things don’t break, they shatter.

But when you let the light in, shattered glass will glitter.

And in those moments, when all the pieces of what we were catch the sun… I’ll remember just how wonderful it was.

And just how beautiful it will always be.

Because it was us.

And we were magic.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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Men and Women Share the Biggest Red Flags in a New Relationship

Dating is hard. Maintaining your various dating profiles on The Apps is practically a full-time job in itself, and even once you meet somebody, hit it off, and make it past the first date, there’s no guarantee that it will be plain sailing. In a thread on Reddit, men and women have been sharing the warning signs that something isn’t right in a new romance, from minor quibbles to major red flags.

1. Jealousy

It can feel flattering, at first, that your new partner wants to keep you all to themselves — but jealousy often leads to controlling behavior. If your boyfriend or girlfriend acts annoyed every time your attention isn’t on them, if they insist on knowing where you are, who you’re spending time with, even who you’re texting, then you’re in an unhealthy relationship.

Another commenter cites: “When they start complaining about other people in your life and trying to get you to see how ‘bad’ these people are for you.” If the person you’re seeing starts making disparaging or “concerned” remarks about your friends and family, and suggests you’d be better off spending time with just them, well, that’s textbook abuser behavior. Abusive partners will often separate their partner from their support network in order to make them dependent on them. Here’s how to spot the signs that you’re being manipulated by your partner.

2. Flakiness

It’s disappointing if the person you’re seeing texts you to cancel a date, and extra disheartening if they do it more than once. As one commenter puts it: “To an extent life can and will get in the way, but there’s a certain level of enthusiasm you want to see from a potential partner and if they can’t muster it during the honeymoon stage of dating, it’s probably not going to improve later.”

Here’s the thing: we’re all busy. But if somebody really wants to see you, they’ll likely be able to carve out enough time in their busy schedule for a quick coffee date in between their other commitments. Remember, you’re worth other people’s time.

3. The way they interact with other people

Watch out for how your date talks about other people. Do they make harsh judgements about people they hardly know? Are they rude to waiters? Even if they’re being perfectly courteous to you in that moment, this behavior is an indicator of how they treat other people in general, and shows you that it’s possible they’ll act this way towards you at some point.

See also: people who only ever seem to talk about themselves on dates and don’t ask you any questions. “Take note of how many times they’ll say or start a sentence with my/I/me/personally,” advises one commenter, as a time-saver.

4. The way they talk about previous partners

Look, when you’re on a first or second date, the best thing to do is simply not bring up your past relationships. If the conversation ends up going there, be brief. And if somebody talks about their ex in detail, you should listen carefully: it’s entirely possible that they are not over that person, and you might find yourself cast in the role of rebound fling.

Equally concerning is if the person you’re seeing says that their ex is “crazy”: this often translates to “they behaved in a way I found inconvenient,” or even “I cheated and they responded emotionally.” And if they insist that all their exes are assholes? Well, you know what the common denominator there is. “If ALL their exes are jerks, it most likely means that they are the jerk,” says one commenter. “The two crazies I dated both spoke this way about ALL their former relationships.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Phicklephilly 2 is now for sale on Amazon!

 

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