Sexual Flirting: How to go from Flirting to Fire

You’ve met a new someone and you’re feeling the frissons of attraction. How do you read between regular flirting and that special kind of sexual flirting?

It’s a special feeling. It’s a sexy, unique feeling, and one which takes over your consciousness, leaving you unable to concentrate on much else. I am, of course, talking about sexual flirting and the sensation of being so into something, you literally want to devour them in one sitting. You want them, you know they want you too because they’re mirroring your flirtation, and it’s going to happen sometime, sometime soon.

This building of sexual tension is one of the best feelings at the start of a relationship, but it can also be something that happens between two people who aren’t in a relationship. This is how hooks ups begin!

Whether you’re in a relationship or you’re not, sexual flirting is fun, it’s just the right side of naughty, and it will make the anticipation and build-up to the main event something you can’t get enough of.

But, what exactly is sexual flirting, and how is it different from regular, ‘I like you’ flirting.

What is sexual flirting really?

Sexual flirting isn’t about ‘I like you, it’s about ‘I want you, and there’s a very real difference between those two statements. You can like someone and want to get to know someone, whilst also wanting to get closer to them. But if you want someone, you don’t always have to want to get to know them. Think about Tinder for one, much of the flirting that goes on is downright sexual and nothing else!

If you’re not sure how to go about performing sexual flirting, and you’re trying to give someone you’re seeing the heads up that you’re feeling a little, shall we say, frisky, then let’s check out a few features of this special, steamy type of flirting.

Give these a go!

#1 The eye contact and coy smile combo. We’ve all seen this one, and we’ve probably done it without realizing it. Sexual flirting 101 is catching his or her eyes, looking down for a second, and then letting your eyes run up their body to catch their eyes once more, all with a coy smile on your face. If you bite your finger or sip on a straw at the same time, you get bonus points for extra hot sexual flirting.

#2 Talking just a little naughty. There is a difference between dirty talk and naughty talk, and when you’re trying out sexual flirting, you need to stick to the naughty side of the spectrum. Dirty talk is for when the deed actually happens, not before!

Again, coyness is the way to with this one, something like ‘I’m sorry I can’t help but stare at your biceps’ and then cover your eyes in a joking way and say ‘oh I can’t believe I just said that, to cover it up and give an innocent edge. Sexual innuendos work wonderfully well in sexual flirting because they’re thinking ‘did they really just say that? Or, am I imagining it?’, and it keeps the game flowing back and forth.

#3 Invade their space. You know that regular flirting involves slight touching, e.g. touching their arm when you laugh, or a joking nudge, but sexual flirting takes it up a notch. Now, be careful not to cross any lines here, you’re trying to invade space not invade their personal boundaries!

I’m talking about standing just a little closer than you normally would, so they can feel your breath against their skin. That odd brush against their skin that’s just a second longer than is necessary. These are all sexual flirting hints that aren’t heavy, but make them think ‘hmm, there are signals coming my way here.

#4 Make your compliments suggestive. If you’re going to compliment them on any part of their body, make sure you add in a hint of suggestion. For instance, when you’re trying out sexual flirting, you won’t say ‘oh I love your eye color’ because that’s general flirting and it’s cute, not hot. What you want to do is pick a body part that is close enough to the main event, but nothing too direct. So, ‘you know, you have great legs’ is a good one. Legs aren’t offensive, but they lead somewhere quite sexual…

#5 Stroke their hand. This one might sound ridiculous at first, but hear me out. When you’re out in public, sat holding hands perhaps, make lazy circles on their palm. It feels fantastic, and it’s just enough suggestion to make them know what you’re thinking about. It’s not a full-on PDA, and it’s not going to make anyone uncomfortable, but the two of you will know where it’s going.

Why you should hold it back, just a little

The above five ways are top examples of sexual flirting. You don’t want to be direct and too full on. Firstly, if they’re flirting back there’s a good indication that they’re on the same page as you. But you don’t know for sure, especially if it’s the start of getting to know each other, or you don’t know them well at all!

By going too far, you run the risk of them becoming upset and running away. And that’s never a pleasant experience for either party. Sexual flirting is about testing the waters, seeing if there might be a possibility of more about to happen.

Of course, sexual flirting is also great fun, and when you’re batting the same signals back and forth, you’re going to feel amazing right at that moment. It’s about the anticipation, and it’s about keeping that going for as long as you can before you both spontaneously combust and can’t take the tension for a second longer! By that time, you both know what’s happening next.

When you notice that things are heading towards bedroom 101, hold it back, just a little. Why? Because the longer this flirting goes on, the more satisfying the final deal will be! You’ll both be in a state of frenzy and can you imagine how amazing it’s going to feel when relief comes to the two of you? Divine!

The importance of reading your flirting partner well

I should point out however that sexual flirting is a little risky. I say this because some people can’t handle it as well as others. For instance, if you are flirting with someone who is quite shy, they might not feel comfortable and may feel that you’re coming on too strong.

If you’re trying to build a relationship with this person, they might also feel that you’re pushing things too fast. I can’t give you much advice on this one, other than to test the waters and do what you feel is right. You know this person in this situation, at least a little, and you know whether they’re shy or they’re a little more reserved.

Some people don’t like to acknowledge sex and attraction, they simply act it out rather than talk about it or show it. That’s their choice to work that way and you have to respect it.

This is also where a lot of Tinder conversations go from promising to zero within a few minutes. You talk to someone, they seem great, and you do not have to hook up on your mind. Suddenly they’re hitting the sexual flirting buttons left, right, and center, and it’s just too much too soon. You don’t talk to them again.

The sad thing is they might have just read it all wrong and could be a really great person to get to know. This is why you have to read your partner, or the other person, as well as you can before you give this type of flirting a try.

Regardless, the single best type of sexual flirting is when you both 100% know you’re on the same page, you’re bantering back and forth, the anticipation is building, and it feels like a pressure cooker reaching its peak temperature, about to blow.

When it finally happens, all the time you put into this sexual flirting business will pay off, believe me!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

11 Psychological Tricks That Make Him Want You so Much More

Sometimes you just need a little strategy …

I honestly believe that love is something that can be cultivated … to a point.

There has to be a spark of interest there at first, but how deep someone falls in love with you will often be a result of the effort you both put forth to make that feeling happen.

Though you can never force a person to like you (and should never try, even if you could), there are definitely some psychology-based dating tips and methods that can help you learn how to get a guy to like you — and make people think of you more highly in general.

These psychological “mind tricks” are even backed by science.

If you’re trying to get his attention but aren’t exactly sure how to get a guy to like you, give these psychology-based dating tips and tricks a spin.

1. Ask him for favors.

Studies have shown that people tend to like people who they do favors for, even if they initially hated them.

This is because we subconsciously make ourselves believe that the person would do the same for us as we did for them.

This reverse psychology phenomenon is known as the Ben Franklin Effect, since the Founding Father himself was the one who discovered this strange trick. As he wrote in his autobiography: “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”

2. Compliment him … just not all the time.

Most guys don’t get complimented frequently, so when they do hear a compliment, they tend to eat it up.

The only problem is that compliments lose their significance if you hear them all the time.

By spacing out compliments to a max of once per day, it keeps him on his toes.

3. Prolong your eye contact just a little bit longer.

It’s true. Studies have found that prolonged eye contact increases the likelihood that two people will fall in love.

The man behind the groundbreaking research on this subject, social psychologist Arthur Aron, says, “the two biggest factors to falling in love through eye contact are i) the other person is reasonably appropriate and desirable, and ii) there is reason to think they might be interested in you.”

4. Use his name.

The names we’re given are music to our ears.

Hearing your name being said by someone is an ego boost, albeit a small one.

Studies have shown that hearing your own name has a unique effect on brain activation, as our “brains involuntarily respond to the sound of our own names, even in a state in which we are unable to respond to or act on anything else. What could be more powerful than that?!”

5. Mirror his gestures.

One of the most common ways that people show a connection to someone is to subtly copy their gestures.

This is actually done on a subconscious level when it’s a seriously natural jive.

Psychologists have noticed that you can actually create a closer bond by mirroring someone, even if those gestures are done totally consciously.

Who knew?

6. Don’t be afraid to show him your flaws.

A lot of women tend to want to hide their flaws and look “perfect” as a way to attract men.

Though you definitely don’t have to show all your flaws immediately, showing him that you occasionally goof up makes you human to him… and it also shows him that you’re not a fake.

7. Expect good things from him.

Among psychologists, this is known as the Pygmalion Effect and it says that we tend to mold to the expectations that people set for us.

If you think he’s a jerk, then you’ll behave in a way that will encourage him to be a jerk, even if it’s on a subconscious level.

So, expect him to be good to you and he will be better to you than if you expected him to be a twerp.

8. Let him talk about himself.

People love to talk about themselves.

We are our own favorite subjects, even if we aren’t narcissists by nature.

By asking him questions about himself, what he does for a living, and getting him to open up, you’re getting him to like you more by indulging him in his favorite topic of conversation.

9. Have a life outside of him.

You know who loves having a woman who has her man as the center of her universe?

Abusers and people who are way too insecure to have a healthy relationship.

By showing him that you’re balanced and not desperate, you’re giving him the green light to pursue you without worrying of you becoming a Stage 5 Clinger.

10. Show that you have similar values, hobbies, and traits to him.

Studies show that we tend to fall in love (or associate) with people when we share similar values and backgrounds as them, a phenomenon known as Similar/Attraction Theory.

So, if he’s a rebel, show your rebellious side.

If he’s a family guy, talk about how important your parents are to you.

11. Be ready to walk if he still doesn’t reciprocate.

Nothing is as sexy as a girl who values herself enough to stop chasing a man.

Be ready to walk if he doesn’t reciprocate feelings.

You never know; he might come around.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!