10 Things Guys Should Do During (And After) a First Date – If They Ever Want a Second

One step at a time, fellas.

So you went out on a first date with the woman you’ve been crushing on, and you thought she was absolutely amazing.

She’s the hottest, sexiest woman you’ve met, and you definitely want to see her again — a lot — but you’re not totally confident you know how to get a girl to like you, let alone get her to be your girlfriend.

How can you successfully ask her out on a second date and capitalize on the heels of that great first one?

If you want to know how to get her to like you, here are my 10 best during and after the first date tips for men that are (almost) guaranteed to get you that second date:

1. Ask her out at the end of the first date for a second date.

When asking her out at the end of the date, be sure to ask her to do something she told you during the date she finds exciting.

For example, if she likes Mexican food, tell her you know the best Mexican restaurant in town and you want to bring her there Tuesday night. Set that second date up so she doesn’t have time to think about the first date, and so she has something to look forward to.

2. Text or call her the very next day.

Either text her a simple message that says “Had a great time last night … Looking forward to the next time.” Or, call her and leave a message and tell her the same thing over the phone. Don’t try to be coy by waiting a day or two to follow up.

3. Don’t expect sex or force the issue of sex.

Take things slow and enjoy getting to know each other. There are no rules about when to have sex for the first time with a new potential partner.

You’re both adults, and if a woman decides that she doesn’t want to have sex with you for a month, respect her! Or, if a woman decides she wants to have sex with you on the first date, respect that decision, too!

When you do have sex, make sure that the two of you handle it like adults and not like children.

4. Be positive and fun when you’re out with her.

Don’t bash your exes. Don’t complain about all the things that are wrong in your life.

Spend time getting to know each other’s good sides.

5. Listen to her.

Question things that don’t sound right. Have a two-sided conversation instead of talking at her.

Most men tend to want to impress women based on their accomplishments. Women enjoy getting to know a man based on what’s inside. So spend time listening and having a conversation instead of bragging about yourself. The less you brag, the more interested she will be!

6. Don’t check out other women in front of her.

Do this, and you’ll never get another date with her again.

7. Compliment her once about the way she looks.

Don’t tell her all night long how beautiful she is or she may start to think that you’ve never before been out with a woman as beautiful as her, and you’ll start to lose your intrigue.

8. Instead of complimenting her looks, compliment her mind.

Bond with her mentally and emotionally and physically, and she will bond with you in ways that you’ve never experienced before!

9. Don’t agree with everything she says.

Challenge her mind — don’t just agree with her.

If you agree with everything she says, she’ll look at you as being weak. If she sees you as being weak, she will no longer be attracted to you and you will no longer get a second look or a second date.

I’m not telling you to be confrontational. I’m telling you to be open, honest, and real.

10. Once you’ve secured the second date, and the second date is successful, set up an “activity date” for date number three.

Take her to the park, go to the beach, or take your dogs for a long walk.

Do things that cause her to picture the two of you as a couple. Dates should be creative, not boring. Sitting there and swapping stories over dinner tends to get monotonous after date number one, so start creatively planning different dates so the two of you can start to get to know each other in a very different manner.

Follow these tips, and I assure you that you will get to see her again after that first date far more than you have in the past.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

The 6 Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Going on a First Date

And how you can avoid them!

First dates can be pretty scary. What should you wear? Where should the date be? What should you talk about?

Wardrobe woes and awkward silences aside, a first date can also quite literally be a scary experience. Especially in today’s modern dating world, it’s so important that a woman take the necessary measures to protect herself and be alert and aware of any possible dating red flags.

And this is even more crucial when it comes to online dating or meeting a man from a dating app like Tinder, which is a common way for snagging a date these days.

So what are some of the biggest mistakes women tend to make when going on a first date?

While a first date will, of course, never be perfect, here are some of the biggest mistakes that a woman can make, and some dating tips for avoiding them.

1. Leaving yourself defenseless

In this day and age, it’s safety above all else, ladies. This is especially true when you’re meeting a guy from a dating app or online.

We cannot stress this enough – you must always, always be prepared to protect yourself.

Taking a self-defense class is one great thing you can do so that you’re able to rely on and defend yourself in case a situation arises when you’re alone with your date. And besides the incredible safety factor, self-defense classes are also extremely empowering and can give you a great sense of strength.

An easier option is to carry something with you at all times that you can use to protect yourself, such as a personal alarm, like this one from SafeSound (get 50% off.) You won’t need any training to use it, it’ll fit in your purse, and best of all, it will give you peace of mind when you’re meeting up with that random dude from Tinder.

2. Not having anything to talk about

The whole reason you’re even going on a date is to find out more information about this person and decide if you’d like to see them again, right?

So if you’re going to go on a date and sit in silence the whole time, then you may as well have just stayed home and continued your Netflix binge.

Now, we’re not saying that you should sit down and divulge your entire life story, but you must come prepared with conversation topics or there’s really no use going at all.

And while it’s good to know the standard things, such as what he does for a living and what the name of his cat is, it’s also important to dig just a little bit deeper so that you can find out more about the kind of man he is.

3. Talking way too much

Have you ever been to a restaurant and overheard an awkward date? You know the one — the girl (or the guy) won’t stop rambling on, and the other person never gets in a word. They sit there twirling their straw, staring off into space, leaving you to wonder why they don’t just excuse themselves to the bathroom and never come back.

Trust us, you do not want to be this person – especially on a first date.

He doesn’t need to know everything about you, your childhood pet, and about your dear Aunt Judy on the first date. You’ve got to leave a little bit of mystery, you know!

Besides, it’s very important that he does the talking, too. That’s where those conversation topics come into play.

4. Forgetting to share your date details with friends or family

So, you met someone and you’ve arranged a date with them. Exciting, right?

However, this is where so many women make a huge mistake.

Before you even start celebrating, find your contacts. Now pick someone you absolutely trust and tell them where you’re going, when you’re going, and who you’re going on the date with.

It doesn’t matter if it’s your mom, your dad, your best friend, or better yet, all of them. It’s critical that you let someone know that you’re going to be on this date. This is especially true if the person you’re meeting is from the internet.

And hey, do you have friends who are active on the dating scene? Maybe you can be that trustworthy friend for them. Better yet, you can ask them to share their location with you via their phone, or buy them a personal alarm to keep in their purse.

5. Using a cell phone

We don’t know about you, but one of the most uncomfortable, depressing things is seeing two people who are out on a date and they’re both sitting there looking down at their phones.

These days, it’s hard for people to become disconnected from the online world. We feel like we need to be physically attached to our phones 24/7 as if our very lives depend on it.

You know how you’re always complaining to your friends about how you wish you could go back to the good old days and have an old-school type of romance? Well, guess what they didn’t have in those good old days? That’s right! A phone. Yes, you actually had to make eye contact and speak with another person.

Think about it like this: what if it was the other way around and the person you were on a date with took out his phone and started ignoring you? Would you consider going out with him again? We didn’t think so.

Put down the phone. Your followers can wait.

6. Not meeting in a public place

A first date should always, always be in a public place.

Don’t ever meet someone in a setting where you are alone with them.

Always pick somewhere that you know will be a place with a lot of people.

However, you should still always be prepared and look out for yourself by taking all of the other necessary safety precautions as mentioned, carrying something with you for protection, and informing your friends and family where you are.

Dating can cause a lot of mixed emotions. And it’s completely normal to feel all of these things at the prospect of a first date!

It’s important to have fun with dating, but it’s even more important to look out for yourself and protect yourself when venturing out into the modern dating world.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

9 Questions You Should Ask On A First Date

Get to know your potential love right off the bat.

One of the most exciting and potentially terrifying feelings is the anticipation of going on a first date. So many questions flood your mind as you prepare to meet your date.

Will they be interested in you? Will you be attracted to them? Are they as cute as they are on their Tinder profile? And will your date stand you up?

As someone who’s survived many first dates, I find it helpful to come ready with a handful of well-thought-out questions to ask to make the conversation flow smoothly.

Here are nine great questions to ask on a first date.

1. “Where are you originally from?”

If you don’t know where your date is originally from, ask them. When you ask this simple question, you may find points of connection that you might not discover otherwise.

For instance, if you find out that your date grew up on a farm, you can tell them about your elementary school stint in 4H. You’ll laugh together about waking up at dawn to milk the cows while the rest of the world is still in bed.

2. “Did you grow up with your family?”

It’s always good to learn a little bit about your date’s family dynamics early on. Did your date grow up with their family or live with someone else? Are they close to their family, or did they move across the country as soon as they could?

Whether your family dynamics are similar to your date’s or are extremely different, they’ll love how in-tune you are and how much their experience interests you.

3. “What is your favorite childhood memory?”

Asking your date about their favorite childhood memories can lead to an amazing conversation. Whether they loved building pillow forts, going roller skating, or sneaking into movies without getting caught, you’re sure to find some great inspiration for potential future dates!

4. “What do you do for fun?”

Asking your date about their hobbies can be the perfect gateway to an intriguing conversation. Do they like reading, writing, swimming, surfing, playing video games, or volunteering? How did they discover their favorite hobbies, and what hobbies do you have in common with them?

Finding out that this person also enjoys some of your favorite activities could lead to bonding experiences and even future dates!

5. “What do you do for work/study in school?”

Even if you have a vague idea of what your date does for work or what they’re majoring in, ask them more about their professional life.

If they’re working, what do they like most about their job? If they’re in school, what are they studying, and who’s their favorite professor? In fact, this is the perfect question to ask if your date takes pride in their professional life.

6. “Do you have any pets?”

If you love your pets more than life itself, find out if your date shares your love for animals. If they aren’t a pet person, find out why. If your pets are a major part of your life, this is a great way for your date to find out that they’ll always be a priority.

7. “What’s your favorite vacation spot?”

If you’re an adventurer with a constant case of wanderlust, ask your date which vacations they’ll always remember. Does your date love the beach? The mountains? A country you’ve always wanted to visit?

Keep their favorite vacation spot in mind if you guys start dating. That favorite destination could be a great 25th date!

8. “Which shows are you watching right now?”

Everyone has a binge-watch guilty pleasure, so ask your date which shows they’re currently watching. You may find that you both love the same show or that you’ve always wanted to start their favorite show.

You may even find yourself binge-watching episodes together at the end of your date!

9. “What are you looking for in a date?”

This question may seem intimidating to ask, but it’s important that you sort out what they’re looking for early on. What are they hoping to gain from the date? Do they want to go out again, or are they emotionally unavailable and just looking for a hookup? Are they monogamous, or are they looking for an open relationship?

You’ll never get what you want out of your dating life if you don’t ask, so get brave and be upfront!

Dating may seem scary, but your first date will be worth your time if you ask this person about their life. First dates can lead to long-lasting, beautiful relationships, so don’t be afraid to ask questions, and have fun!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

6 Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Experts

First dates are nerve-wracking — that’s something everyone can agree on, right? And in the age of internet dating, even though you can find out a lot of information about someone online, for better or worse, you never really get a feel for a person until you meet them. And of course, that is just the beginning! If you’re unsure of the best way to get to know a potential lover from the get-go, there are some good questions to ask on the first date that might help to figure out if you’re compatible.

“A simple question can lead to a conversation that takes its own course, with little effort from either of you,” Dr. Carissa Coulston, a clinical psychologist, and the main author of relationship articles for The Eternity Rose, tells Bustle. For the sake of nurturing an initial conversation, keep things to the basics at first. “Helpful and neutral questions revolve around work or career interests, hobbies, sport, music and family — these are typically non-contentious.”

And what you might want to avoid? Coulston says generally to steer to left of asking about ex-relationships, or probing into any problems that your date might have briefly referred to, like issues they had with their parents when they were a child.

“Of course, these more personal topics can be discussed between the two of you down the track if your relationship should progress,” Coulston says.

Ultimately, you can talk about whatever you want, and you might have much easier and deeper conversations on some first dates than on others. Below, a few experts shed light on some good initial questions that can give you a peak into a person.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

The 21 Best and Worst First Date Questions You Could Possibly Ask

Some guys have a knack for first dates. They can seamlessly navigate conversations, so topics flow from one to the next without any lulls. They effortlessly balance talking about themselves while still learning about their partner. They’re charming, funny, and quick-witted. They just really have it down.

Then there’s the rest of us, who might need a little help on first dates when the prolonged silence with our partner sounds deafening. If you find yourself in a bind on a first date, not sure of what to say, here are 20 questions that should hopefully get you and your partner talking again. These questions aren’t the boring “What do you do for work?” They’re ideal questions to ask if you really want to get to know your partner. (We also provided three bonus questions of what to definitely not ask your partner.)

The Best Questions to Ask on a First Date

1. What’s been your favorite vacation?

Why it’s good to ask: Everyone loves going on vacation and talking about what they did that made it so great,” says Maria Sullivan, Dating Expert and VP of Dating.com. “Asking this question on a first date will open up a conversation about where your date has traveled and if you are both into the same types of vacation destinations.”

2. What’s your dream travel destination?

Why it’s good to ask: “Talking travel really works,” adds Amanda Bradford, founder and CEO of the dating app, The League. “In one study, 18% of couples on first dates who discussed travel wanted to go a second date. In contrast, less than 9% of couples who talked about movies wanted to go out again.”

3. What are you most passionate about?

Why it’s good to ask: “People love discussing the hobbies and pursuits they enjoy,” says Bradford. “If you want to know who someone is, find out what they love.”

4. Are you more of a morning or night person?

Why it’s good to ask: Some people are able to wake up at the crack of dawn while other are able to stay awake until the crack of dawn,” says Sullivan. “Asking your date this question will give you an idea of their daily schedule. For example, are they up early at the gym or up late binge watching their favorite shows?” This can help determine if you two are compatible with one another.

5. Who should play you in the movie of your life?

Why it’s good to ask: “This fun ‘what-if’ question caters to their ego—and the actor they choose clues you in on how they see themselves,” says Bradford.

6. What’s the most interesting fact you know?

Why it’s good to ask: People are full of interesting facts,” says Sullivan. “This is a fun question to ask to find out what your date knows, and you might even learn something new.” Additionally, everyone loves coming across as interesting. It’s great you’re giving your date the opportunity to do so.

7. Who did you see for your first concert?

Why it’s good to ask: “Music is a great date topic,” explains Bradford. “Prepare to be impressed that they saw Beyonce, or saddened that they saw Nickelback.”

8. What was the best day of your life?

Why it’s good to ask: “This question takes your date back in time to a big life moment that they’ll love reliving,” says Bradford. “It goes much deeper than surface-level chat, and this deeper dive makes you stand out from other guys this person has been going on dates with.”

9. What’s your favorite holiday?

Why it’s good to ask: This question can give you insight into your date’s religion based on the answer, which can be an important part of a relationship,” explains Sullivan. It also opens up to conversation about religion, which yes, could be a lot on a first date, but also might not be. You’ll have to gauge to see if you should take the conversation there.

10. What’s the best gift you’ve ever given someone?

Why it’s good to ask: “They’ll get to brag a bit while feeling very generous,” Bradford says. It’s also a big red flag if they haven’t given anyone anything.

11. What do you love most about your job/career?

Why it’s good to ask: “This question lets you talk about work in a positive, emotionally evocative way, rather than boringly asking, ‘So, what do you do?’” says Bradford.

12. What were you like as a kid?

Why it’s good to ask: “Sharing stories from childhood gives them a chance to be vulnerable by giving you a glimpse of their younger self,” explains Bradford. “You’re helping them connect with you and with their younger self.”

13. What does your ultimate favorite meal consist of?

Why it’s good to ask: “Who doesn’t love food?asks Sullivan. “This question will allow you to figure out what types of food you have in common and if things go well, it can even help you decide where to go on your second date.”

14. What’s your hidden talent?

Why it’s good to ask: “This allows them to show off while sharing a secret—and sharing personal secrets can build trust and connection,” says Bradford.

15. Would you rather…?

Why it’s good to ask: “A first date should be fun, and good ‘Would You Rather’ questions get your date laughing,” Bradford says. “A 2014 study found that women are drawn to men with a sense of humor. Here are some fun examples!” Bradford recommends:

“Would you rather have a snowball fight or a food fight?”

“Would you rather walk in on your parents having sex, or they walk in on you having sex?”

“Would you rather have eight arms or be a cyclops?”

16. What do you usually do on weekends?

Why it’s good to ask: This question gives you a chance to see if you have matching lifestyles. If your partner’s weekends consist of reading in bed whereas most weekends you’re out at the club drinking with friends, then they might not be the right person for you. If you do have similar weekends, then the conversation will naturally flow from there. For example, if you both like reading, you’ll be able to discuss your favorite books. If you both like going out, you can talk about your favorite bars.

17. What’s on your bucket list?

Why it’s good to ask: This question now only gives you a sense of your partner’s interests, it also provides great ideas for date number two. If you really like them after the first date, sky diving might not be that crazy of idea if that’s something they’ve always wanted to try out.

18. Want to share an embarrassing moment?

Why it’s good to ask: On dates, we try to present the best version of ourselves, as we should, but sometimes, it can get a little too serious and even start to sound a little “braggy.” This question helps you and your partner be vulnerable with one another, breaking down any facades.

The Worst First Date Questions:

1. Why are you single?

Why you shouldn’t ask: “Although this question may seem harmless, it may leave your date feeling awkward and unsure how to answer,” she says. It also can be read as an insult. In essence, you’re asking, “So what’s wrong with you?”

2. How many exes do you have?

Why you shouldn’t ask: “Asking this personal of a question on a first date can be a big red flag,” she says. “It is important to take your dates privacy into consideration and not ask anything that might make them feel uncomfortable.”

3. How much money do you make?

Why you shouldn’t ask: “Someone’s income is not an important piece of information for a first date and may make you seem like you are more interested in money than the actual person,” she explains. “Spend the first date asking questions that will allow you to learn more about your date’s heart, not their wallet.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly