6 Mistakes You Make That Land You In The Friend Zone

The Friend Zone is a place we all have dreaded to visit. But you could accidentally land up just there.

You try to play it cool on the first few dates because you don’t want to be deemed “needy”, “high maintenance”, “aggressive”, or “desperate”.

You make a point at highlighting your common interests. You both like football, you both like the art fair on Sundays, you are both foodies so you stay on that common ground of topics because they are safe and surface and fun and easy to talk about.

At the end of the date, you go “dutch”, hug, say goodbye, and you feel like you had a pretty great date. And it was a great time…for friends.

Where is the romance? What happened to the wooing?

Beware: you very well could be on the brink of falling into the friend zone!

Knowing how to get out of the friend zone is all about setting the precedent from the onset.

Here are the 6 mistakes, each of which could land you in the friend zone:

1. You went “Dutch”.

Do you want a friend, a colleague, a business partner or do you want a relationship partner?

He is paying for dinner. Paying = providing (masculine). Cooking/gifting = nurturing (feminine). We will go more into this (plus alternative ways that the woman can “pay”) in a future article.

2. You talk about fun and surface topics.

If you eventually want the clothes to come off, you’ve got to dig beyond the exterior by being real and getting raw. That’s how you stand out and create a heart connection.

3. You forgot to flirt!

It’s about the little things — the side glance, the “secret smile”, the little touches, and the flirtatious and slightly (but not overtly) sexy comments.

4. You act like a buddy.

Hanging out at sports bars, not putting effort into how you look, going dutch; these are all symptoms of friendships. It’s OK to share the same interests.

Women, it’s OK if you are a huge sports fan. But remember that you are looking for a boyfriend, not a buddy. You can still be sexy and cheer on your favorite team.

5. You think you’re being sarcastic, but you’re actually being a bitch or a jerk.

I know you want to be witty and always have a comeback, and I agree! That banter can be extremely sexy and can be a great technique when it comes to flirting.

But there is a difference between sarcastic and being bitchy or a jerk, and it’s too often confused. Take the edge off. Imagine that they said to you what you said to them.

How does it sound?

6. You’re easy going…too easy going.

You don’t require dates. You just kind of “hang out”. You’re missing the chase and moving right into what you consider to be “relationship mode”. But you’re wrong. You’ve been friend zoned.

Honestly, a lot of it is about gender roles. Be feminine. Be masculine. Be in your gender power!

The more feminine you are, the more masculine he feels. The more masculine you are, the more feminine she feels.

Stop being androgynous. I know. it’s a modern world. But you have more power in your gender role than you ever allowed yourself to embrace.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

How to Avoid the Friend Zone and Make Her Desire You

Afraid you’ll end up being just a friend with the girl you like? Use these tips on how to avoid the friend zone if you want to get into her pants.

The friend zone is a tricky place to fall in.

You may be trying hard to get close to a girl, close enough to tell her that you like her, but one fine day she turns around and tells you that you’re such a great friend, or worse, you’re just like a brother to her.

Ever been there?

I hope you haven’t.

Guys find themselves falling into the friend zone almost all the time.

It’s frustrating and demeaning, and at times, inevitable.

You may get really close to a girl with all the hopes of getting into her pants, but somewhere along the way, you may have taken a few detours that led you right into the friend zone.

What is a friend zone?

A friend zone is a happy place for a girl. It’s a place where she and a guy can sit together and talk about anything and get real friendly with each other.

For a guy, a friend zone is the worst place to be in, especially when he likes the girl who behaves like a friend.

In a friend zone, the two involved friends of the opposite sex are just friends and nothing more. They project no sexual interest towards each other and behave in a completely platonic manner.

But can any guy ever be friends with a girl he finds sexually attractive? Or course not. He can try to be a friend with the hope of getting an occasional cuddle or a warm boob pressing hug now and then, but he’s always going to be just be a friend while she dates every other guy in the yearbook.

How do guys end up falling into the friend zone?

A guy falls into a friend zone for very obvious reasons. He behaves like a friend. And he never lets the girl know that he has more than friendly intentions on his mind.

And soon enough, the girl loses all realization of the fact that this guy has a package down there. And he just becomes another sexless thing she hangs out with all the time as a platonic friend.

So why do some guys end up as friends instead of boyfriends or sex buddies? Here’s why.

#1 They get too close. Getting too close to a girl on platonic grounds will never help you. You may assume that it’s the easiest way to get a girl to know you better. She’ll definitely get to know you better, but only as a friend.

#2 No sexual chemistry. If a guy likes a girl, he has to make it subtly obvious that he’s sexually interested in her. If a guy behaves like a pushover and a doormat, no girl will feel even a tingle of sexual chemistry.

#3 The girl’s not attracted to the guy. This sucks, but this is the most common scenario. The guy’s probably creepy, annoying or just not good enough to be her boyfriend.

#4 The guy thinks she’s too good for him. At times, a guy may genuinely believe that the girl he likes is way too good for him. And instead of hitting on her, he secretly lusts for her, but gives up on pursuing her. Could you ever live with yourself by just being the friend of a sexy girl who dates every other guy but you?

#5 He plays the true friend card. It works in the movies all the time. The girl has a best friend who’s always there for her. She goes ahead and dates every single guy in the world, and finally, at the end of the movie she sees her true love in the form of her best friend. How touching! And that’s why they call it the movies. In real life, you can’t become a girl’s boyfriend just by behaving like a best friend.

How to avoid getting into the friend zone

It’s really easy to avoid the friend zone. All you need to do is drop a few hints now and then to let her know that you’re really into her. Use these easy tips to get the message across and get her to desire you while you’re at it.

#1 Be a friend without behaving like her other friends. Don’t talk nonsense for hours or spend time talking about her problems in life. Talk about places she visits, movies she’s watched, and her plans for the weekend. Talk date talk and she’ll sense the chemistry in the air.

#2 Try to talk to her when she’s alone. If her other friends are around, talk to her if you must or just avoid her. You can’t really hit on a girl when she’s surrounded by a bevy of friends.

But when you find her alone, make sure you turn on your charm and impress her. See her alone? Chat her up. And if one of her friends come by, grumble audibly in a funny manner and say something like “just when I thought I was going to get some alone time with you, this guy pops up out of nowhere!” and just laugh. She’ll be confused and wonder if you’re being serious or just joking.

But she’ll get the hint that you like spending time with her alone. Make it obvious that you like spending time with her in whatever way possible, but don’t ask her out or tell her you like her just yet.

#3 Compliment her when she deserves it. Flatter her pants off. If she looks good, tell her she looks hot. If you see a hint of cleavage and she catches you staring, just laugh, apologize and tell it you couldn’t resist it. Add a few funny sexual remarks and you’ll never get into the friend zone.

#4 Touch her and treat her like your girlfriend. But do it respectfully though. Clasp her hand while crossing the street and open doors for her when it’s just the both of you. Make her feel like a queen, and she’ll love the attention. But when her friends are around, don’t give her any preferential treatment. Let her realize that you’re special to her only when it’s just the two of you.

#5 Make her feel special and exclusive. Gift her something small and personal, but tell her to keep it a secret. When you create secrets, you build sexual chemistry and suspense which leads to romance.

#6 Ask her out and change the topic. When you’re talking to her for a while, ask her out for lunch or coffee. See how she responds. But within a second, change the topic. Don’t wait for her to answer. It’ll seem like a joke, but it’ll still make her wonder if you really do want to date her. Don’t make things awkward by waiting a while before saying something else. Keep it simple, keep it funny and yet reveal all the dirty thoughts in your mind, and change the topic immediately.

Wondering how to avoid the friend zone? Just understand these pointers and use these tips. You’ll never fall into the friend zone with any girl ever again.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

13 Naughty Ways to Get Out of the Friend Zone In No Time

You’ve just been put into one of the worst places you can be: the friend zone. Here’s what you can do to get out of the friend zone, in no time at all!

Being in the friend zone is one of the hardest places to be—for a lot of reasons. Not only is it a blow to your ego, but you also can’t really show that much emotion about it without looking like a crazy person.

For those of you unfamiliar with the friend zone, lucky you! However, I’ll explain it for you: the friend zone is when the person you have romantic feelings for only thinks of you as a friend. This can often stop someone from expressing their real feelings, and perpetuate a one-sided romantic attraction.

The good thing about the friend zone is that you can be close to the person you like as much as you want. The bad thing is that this person might not even know they just put you in the friend zone, because they don’t know how you really feel!

How you can get out of the friend zone

I’m actually pretty guilty of putting guys in the friend zone without a second thought. BUT, I do have to put some of the blame on them, for not at least trying to get out. If they would have made any sort of effort in telling me how they felt, or pursuing me in any other way, I may have felt differently.

Usually, they seemed happy to be just my friend, and never tried for anything else. It was only later that they started complaining about it. So, we put together a list of ways you can sneak right out of the dreaded friend zone!

#1 Tell them how you feel. They could have put you in the friend zone without even knowing that you have feelings for them—which is NOT their fault. If you’re in the friend zone by default, because you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell them, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Who knows? They could have feelings for you, too.

#2 Show them how you feel. If telling them isn’t an option, because you’re scared, or nervous, or whatever lame excuse you have, show them how you feel. Act like you have feelings for them. Tell them you like their new haircut, or that the color of their shirt makes them look really good. Do things for them that show them you care more than a friend would.

#3 Make them see you in a romantic way. More than likely, you’ve shown them the more intimate side of yourself. Now, I’m not saying to go make out with them, or anything. But make them picture you being someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend.

For example, if they start telling you about how this person’s boyfriend did this, come back by saying, “If I had a boyfriend/girlfriend, this is what I would do.” It gets their mind thinking about the way you’ll treat your significant other.

#4 Don’t let them talk to you as a friend. People don’t talk to their friends like they do to their significant others. If that’s your end game, don’t let them talk to you like you’re their BFF. Don’t let them gossip about other love interests, or complain about them, either. Let them talk about anything BUT significant other problems. They’ll never think of you as a possible boyfriend or girlfriend if they talk to you about those issues—trust me.

#5 Figure out why they only like you as a friend, and fix it. Maybe you only treat them like a friend. Maybe they don’t think you’re that compatible. Whatever it is, there is probably a way to get around it. If they don’t think you’re compatible, for instance, you can make it a point to show them just how compatible the two of you really are.

#6 Make physical contact every now and then. No. I don’t mean go, slap their butt, and tell them they look nice. Not at all. Subtly and nonchalantly make a point to touch them from time to time. Establishing physical contact will make them see that you’re being a little more than friendly.

A great way to do this is to just pat them on the back as you come up behind them, or touch their shoulder when they’ve said something funny. Little things that close the gap between you will move you out of the friend zone.

#7 FLIRT WITH THEM. For the love of all that is holy, FLIRT WITH THEM! One of the only things that can differentiate someone from liking a person as a friend and liking them more than a friend is flirting. If you’re continuously flirting with someone, you will send them a clear message that you like them romantically.

Not only that, but by flirting, you’re also opening up the opportunity for them to flirt back. This is a great way to lightly exchange some fun conversation that isn’t drawing attention to the fact that you’re stuck in the friend zone.

#8 Make them miss you. One thing that happens a lot of the time is that the people who put you in the friend zone don’t realize their own feelings. I have actually been guilty of this, and it was too late for me to have him after he found someone else.

I didn’t realize I felt that way until he was relatively out of my life. So, take a break. Don’t act mad, or anything, but just be busy. Be busy enough that they’re coming to you to hang out or to see what’s up.

#9 Casually compliment them out of nowhere. Perfectly placed compliments can go a long way to get you out of the friend zone. Telling them they look great when they’re wearing grubby clothes shows them that you find them attractive, even when they’re not all done up. They’ll appreciate this.

Compliments can also help, because people ALWAYS feel the need to compliment you back—which means they will be looking for something attractive about you. It’s literally giving them a reason to look at your best attributes.

#10 Surprise them with something subtle, but sweet. Surprising them with something that they wouldn’t expect you to remember is a perfect way for them to see how much you really care, and they will start to care about you because of your kindness.

Try bringing them their favorite cookies *that no one else but you knows they love*. This is a perfect way to sneak even more out of the friend zone!

#11 Do things for them that you would do for a boyfriend/girlfriend. If you really want to get out of the friend zone, then stop acting like you’re in it. Act like they’re your boyfriend or girlfriend. Treat them like you would your significant other, and you’ll be surprised how easily you can slide out of that zone.

#12 Realize that it might not have anything to do with YOU. Sometimes, you may be in the friend zone, simply because they aren’t in a place in their life that they can be dating or having a significant other. If you realize that and back off, they will notice and appreciate that, and then who knows? Maybe down the road, they’ll remember you being understanding, and it’ll make them like you more.

#13 Accept only having friendship. Sometimes, if you really want someone to see you as more than a friend, the best way to do that is to just accept that you can’t have them. This will lead you to forget about how you’re acting, what you’re doing, and you’ll just be yourself. That could really end up changing how that person feels about you.

 

Being in the friend zone doesn’t have to be a permanent sentence. If you’re trying to claw your way out of this dreaded zone, you’ll need these 13 tips to help you get out.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly