Michelle – Chapter 21 – Ghosted

“I’m just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.”

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This post was written in 2019. Due to scheduling restraints of more relevant content, it’s been delayed and is being published now.

If you’ve been reading this blog you’ll have read the Michelle story. Although not the inspiration for this blog like Maria, it’s one of the cornerstones of this publication. Michelle is one of the most important people I’ve ever met. The great thing is, you can simply type in her name in the search bar and read the whole story of our relationship. (Or buy my book, Phicklephilly, on Amazon!)

Sadly, she and I had always wanted to write about our legacy in this great city of Philadelphia, but never did. We collected bullet points and events on paper ,but like most people in love, we were having too much fun to record anything we did.

I did my best here to piece together out greatest hits on phicklephilly. I know Michelle had some fear about what I would publish on this blog because of her present situation.

Read Michelle before you read this piece because it’ll help you understand the full scope of what this relationship was.

Michelle and I had a very special relationship. It was more unique than any I had ever known, and I’m sure I will not experience it again. I’m lucky to have had my time with her. I always said; “You’re the nicest, pretty girl I ever met.” Because beautiful women don’t need to be nice. They just need to show up.

But Michelle always was.

I was blessed to have her as my girl. I was a 40 something loser from a failed marriage and working in New York in the world of finance. I got laid off with a team of other talented guys and needed a job. I ran out of options in NYC and turned to Philly. (The city I’m from) By some miracle, I landed a job in advertising at the news of record for Philadelphia.

Michelle worked in billing. I couldn’t imagine why such a beautiful women ended up in such a shitty department. But she eventually wanted to get into sales, and since my manager was secretly in love with her, he acquired her. Much to my delight. I was just happy to be near her and work with her. Incredibly pretty, but so nice. A rare combination.

We became friends.

Read Michelle. Then you’ll know what we were to each other.

Michelle kept in touch with me long after our breakup. One of the most extraordinary aspects of or relationship, is that we were able to stay best friends after our break up.

It was a classic phicklephilly breakup. “You aren’t going to marry me and give me kids, so goodbye.”

I get it.

I’m not doing that ever again. No bitterness, just can’t risk that again.

Michelle and I have been friends, longer than we’ve been lovers. (Which has so much deeper value)  I’ve never experienced that with anyone I’ve ever known. That seems odd to me, but I simply accepted that miracle for what it was.

That went on for years.

After all of that…

She sold all of her stuff, quit her job, and flew to California and went on to marry her high school sweetheart. She knew we didn’t work, and was done with dating all of the idiots out in the world so she retreated to the known. The guy from high school who she originally loved. They were both out of options so they decided to settle.

“He became the man I hoped he’d be” she said.

She settled for the American Dream.

The American Dream. I have lived that and I have nothing but the taste of ashes in my mouth for that life.

Michelle has been sold a bill of goods, that told her she needs to find a safe man by her 30’s, and get married and have kids. That is a sour lie told to every woman in this country, from the time they hit puberty. Maybe even before that. She’s a kid born out-of-wedlock. Adopted by assholes who have no idea who they were. They don’t even know who they are or why they want a kid, but they can afford you, so you get rescued. But from what? Death, then into the frying pan of these two idiots?

It happened.

But you’re smart and oh, so beautiful. Beauty goes so far in this world.

I only ever saw your kindness and sweetness and till this day I am astounded by you.

When everything in your life no longer makes sense you go for the American Dream.

(Never do this fair readers)

Marriage and settling on a guy that is reasonably handsome and can hold a job and is in the range to give you kids. You hated taking care of your cat, why in the fuck would you ever want to have kids? Kids are a fortune (I have the receipts. My beloved Lorelei cost me over $170,000)

He takes her camping, hiking, and hang gliding… Kill me now. Come on….She likes hanging out, and sipping chardonnay, and smoking cigs with interesting people.

Or does she? Maybe she’s ready to adapt to the safe option.

I know all of the above gets boring, and I don’t even do that anymore, but has she simply settled for mediocrity? But maybe by doing all of those mundane things they’ve saved her from a rich, exciting life, and she’s healthier for it. It’s all about her health. Right? I get that.

I haven’t heard from her since my birthday in 2018. That’s okay. Because on the day she left, I was fine with her leaving. I understood, and I knew where she would go. She’d retreat to her high school boyfriend.

And I get why she’s ghosted her best friend. Because she needs to be the wife to her husband, and the mom to her kids or whatever it is she’s doing. It just sucks that we all know who her best friend is, and that person is not allowed to be friends with her anymore. Simply due to the insecurities in her current. If you’re female, you can be friends with Michelle. If you’re male. No dice.

Hell, I ghost people. They need to be cut off. I just can’t have them in my life anymore.

I get it.

But I think this is it.

She was always texting me and face timing me for the last 5 years since she left. I think she finally found the assumed moral compass, to stop talking to the love of her life, so she could dedicate her life of what happiness is supposed to look like with her husband.

I get it. He always loved to control her. Control is weakness and insecurity. Relax Dave…you’ve won.  I just hope she can find some parcel of happiness in the choices she’s made.

Figure it out and you can still come to Janice’s house at Christmas!

(Kidding!)

Your hubby wouldn’t allow it!

Things are going well for Lorelei and me here in Rittenhouse. She’s doing great in her career and has been in a relationship with Ethan for over 5 years now. I’m managing a restaurant in Rittenhouse now and I love it.

I don’t go out anymore. Only occasionally with a close friend. The old crew has moved on, like they always do. I hope you’re doing well with your husband, and your job and family and life because that’s all I can hope.

I know I can leave this world knowing I helped one person.

I hope it was you Michelle, and I will always love you. No matter where you go, or what you do, I will always love you, and our time together.

Because it was magical and real.

And nobody can every take those memories away from us.

 

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on June 20th, on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

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8 Signs Its Time To End A Friendship

These bros ain’t loyals, sometimes good judies turn to jealous jackasses and your bestie may become an enemy.Deciding whether or not to break up with a friend can feel like a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Yet when considered logically, it could clearly be the healthiest choice.

As we go through life, we naturally make new acquaintances and form friendships with a select few. While we put great importance on carefully choosing who we let in, we should remember to cut ties with those who start to drag us down.

It’s really nothing to feel ashamed of. Naturally, people change and you may find yourselves in totally different places. Don’t assume that friends must always be forever, at times it simply can’t be fixed or reconciled. Sometimes you’ve got to consider your own long-term happiness and keep your social circle lean.

It can be a painful experience a friendship changes for the worst, but there’s no need to prolong the hurt. If your relationship possesses any of these eight indicators, it may be time gracefully part ways!

1. Your Relationship Has Become One-Sided

If your relationship has fallen off-balance and shows no sign of returning, it’s likely they don’t value you as you do them. Constantly having to pursue a friend without much return is terrible, it can even harm your self-worth.

If you’ve let your friend know and it still hasn’t made a difference, quit wasting your energy and let them go!

2. Manipulating and Controlling Behavior Runs Rampant

Stop to reflect on your relationship for a second, have you lost sight of being the real you? If you feel you’re no longer being authentic, relationship toxicity will be building up. Consider whether you or your friend manipulating each other, and why?

Healthy friendships are about sharing the depth of our character, not exploiting each other. If this is the case, it may be time to reassess the whole relationship.

3. They Are Dragging You Down With Them

Are you starting to feel guilty by association? If your friend has a questionable character or behavior, you may want to consider how it reflects back upon you. If they regularly exhibit bullying behavior, others may start to see you in the same light. Or worse yet, it may start to bring out the bully in you!

You’ve got to be careful with who you align or associate yourself with, you may pick up their qualities and mannerisms too.

4. There’s Spiteful Jealous and Furious Competition Between You

Your friendship is well on truly on the rocks if you find yourselves in bouts of jealousy and ruthless one-upping. The constant need to prove yourselves to each other is exhausting rather than comforting.

Remember, friendships should be empowering and encouraging not antagonizing!

5. The Best Thing Between You is History

Sometimes, we find ourselves holding onto lifelong friends for little more than the rich history. But what’s the point of holding on if the only positive part is a recollection of a childhood friendship. You’re now living in the present, where you, your friend and life may be radically different.

The last thing you want to do is hold onto stale relationships purely out of historic honor!

6. They No Longer Contribute Anything Positive to Your Life

Sometimes we’ve simply got to stand up for ourselves. If someone does nothing but bring us down, we must respect ourselves enough to let them go. Friends should be a natural extension of your life, as you should be to theirs.

Whether it’s cheering each other up, spurring each other on or even just having a laugh together. Everyone contributes something different, but make sure it’s positive!

7. The Negative Situations Over-Shadow the Positive Ones

If the bad has begun to outweigh the good, it’s likely your friendship is beginning to sour. A friendship should be mutually beneficial and make both of you happy, not provoke emotional situations or altercations.

While an occasional fallout is quite common, having consistent problems is a strong indicator of incompatibility.

8. They Are Chipping Away At Your Self-Esteem

True friends provide a crucial support system for each other, especially within the associated stresses of modern living. Whenever either one has problems, troubles or doubts, their buddies will rally to provide moral support. This single most important aspect of friendships is raising each other’s self-esteem.

Breaking up with a friend is never easy, but if they are working against your self-confidence and causing you to doubt yourself, it’s definitely time to jump ship!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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Life Before Quarantine – Part 7

During quarantine I’ve been fairly productive. I get my energy from people but I really enjoy my alone time. My daughter agrees. We’re both perfectly happy being on our own. I was looking through some photos the other day and I got some great memories of when we were all allowed to come out and play. I thought I’d share some of them with you. I’ll run this series every week until I run out of photos! If you see yourself, hit me up!

I’m very fortunate to have met you all and enjoyed the times we had together. Thank you!

Enjoy!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Life Before Quarantine – Part 6

During quarantine I’ve been fairly productive. I get my energy from people but I really enjoy my alone time. My daughter agrees. We’re both perfectly happy being on our own. I was looking through some photos the other day and I got some great memories of when we were all allowed to come out and play. I thought I’d share some of them with you. I’ll run this series every week until I run out of photos! If you see yourself, hit me up!

I’m very fortunate to have met you all and enjoyed the times we had together. Thank you!

Enjoy!

 

Two Face takes a wife…

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Life Before Quarantine – Part 5

During quarantine I’ve been fairly productive. I get my energy from people but I really enjoy my alone time. My daughter agrees. We’re both perfectly happy being on our own. I was looking through some photos the other day and I got some great memories of when we were all allowed to come out and play. I thought I’d share some of them with you. I’ll run this series every week until I run out of photos! If you see yourself, hit me up!

I’m very fortunate to have met you all and enjoyed the times we had together. Thank you!

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Life Before Quarantine – Part 4

During quarantine I’ve been fairly productive. I get my energy from people but I really enjoy my alone time. My daughter agrees. We’re both perfectly happy being on our own. I was looking through some photos the other day and I got some great memories of when we were all allowed to come out and play. I thought I’d share some of them with you. I’ll run this series every week until I run out of photos! If you see yourself, hit me up!

I’m very fortunate to have met you all and enjoyed the times we had together. Thank you!

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Life Before Quarantine – Part 1

During quarantine I’ve been fairly productive. I get my energy from people but I really enjoy my alone time. My daughter agrees. We’re both perfectly happy being on our own. I was looking through some photos the other day and I got some great memories of when we were all allowed to come out and play. I thought I’d share some of them with you. I’ll run this series every week until I run out of photos! If you see yourself, hit me up!

I’m very fortunate to have met you all and enjoyed the times we had together. Thank you!

Enjoy!

 

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

How to Kiss a Friend Accidentally and Get Away with It

Ever been tempted to kiss a friend? While it’s alright to get attracted to a friend, it’s not always the safest bet to make a move. Find out how to kiss a friend and get away with it!

Kissing a friend is a tempting proposition. But unless it’s a mutual desire, it’s best to stay away from such complications. But if you really do want to get frisky with a pal, here’s your guide on how to kiss a friend, the easy way.

It’s sneaky, but hey, if sexual desire matters more than friendship to you, why not give this a go?

How to kiss a friend

Have you ever tried to kiss a friend? In most cases, it just doesn’t work out.

Your friend may be shocked, surprised, or may want to stay away from you.

But if you really do like a friend and want to take it further down the path of love, then this piece on kissing a friend may not be appropriate for you.

But on the other hand, if you just want know how to kiss a friend, and then worry about your mixed feelings later, this may be the easiest way forward.

There are a few times when you can kiss a friend and get away with it, and a few other times when it’s just completely inappropriate to kiss a friend.

Firstly we’ll get to the five ways by which you could kiss a friend out of the blue, with no preamble or even a hint that you’re attracted to your friend.

#1 Kissing a friend when you’re drunk

This is pretty much the safest way to kiss a friend and get away with it. And let’s face it, more than half the first kisses between friends use this move. When you’re out with this friend you like or at a party, have a few drinks and wait for the booze to kick in. And once you’re feeling the buzz, use that as the perfect accidental excuse. Try and get the coziest spot next to your friend, preferably an isolated spot.

Start a conversation with your friend and eventually start whispering to your friend. Of course, you’re *drunk*, aren’t you? Whispering into each other’s ears is completely acceptable when you’re high!

And at some point of the conversation in between all the close facial contact, go right up and kiss your friend. The kiss may last a while longer if you’ve built a lot of sexual chemistry through all the body contact, but even if your friend’s not drunk, you’d still be able to sneak in a quick kiss. And your friend can’t really get upset or do anything about it, after all, you’re drunk out of your mind!

#2 Playing truth or dare

Kissing a friend doesn’t come easier than this. So if you’re ever trying to figure how to kiss a friend, focus on arranging a drinking game like spin the bottle or truth or dare.

Sometimes, you may get a kiss or a lot more than that. But at other times, you may not always end up lucky and another friend may end up kissing the friend you want to kiss. But not to worry, if you didn’t get a chance to kiss your friend during the game, just get drunk and go back to step #1!

#3 Kiss your friend when they’re consoling you

This is a sneaky move, and it’s another common ploy in getting to kiss a friend. Many people use this, and quite frankly, it works very well.

Have you just lost something of value and need some consoling? Everyone needs a friend they’re down and need consoling. So call the friend you like and tell them how *depressed* you are and how much you’d appreciate it if they could come over to your place to cheer you up.

When your friend comes by to your place, snuggle up and hug your friend. Just stay in that position as you mumble your sorry ass story and explain how depressed you are. At some point, you’d know that your friend’s pretty comfortable with the hug too. Now you can linger your hands on their back or go straight for the kiss. The kiss may last a while, or a few seconds. But if it does last, the kiss could lead both of you into bed and even go a lot further.

On the other hand, if your friend does take offense, you could apologize profusely and tell your friend you didn’t know what came over you. Yeah right, you effing perv!

#4 Accidentally kiss your friend

Now if you want to know the dirt on how to kiss a friend while trying this, you won’t be able to get a big, wet kiss using this move. But on the upside, your friend can never really point their finger at you, or even remotely accuse you.

So you’ve been clubbing recently? You know how hard you have to shout to be heard over the blaring speakers, don’t you? Almost always, two people who want to have a conversation have to stick their faces together to be heard. If you create an opportunity to create a quick successive series of questions and answers, you can move your face across when your friend’s yelling into your ear, and hey, guess what you just did, you kissed your friend!

How to kiss a friend accidentally conversation tip:

You: Hey, I’m going to get a drink, you want one too?!

Friend: Yeah!

You: What?!

Friend: Yeah, I’ll have one too!

You: What do you want to have?!

Friend: A beer!

You: What?!

Friend: A beeer!!

You: Why don’t you have a Hawaiian Volcano?

Friend: A Hawaiian wha….

You: A hawaiian vol… ummh!

Oops!! *Grin*

Now this works well even in a movie theater, and it’s sneaky, isn’t it? And an improvisation of this kiss is when you both are hugging and kissing each other goodbye. Turn your cheek in ever so slightly when your friend’s about to kiss you goodbye, and viola!

#5 How to kiss a friend via text flirting

Now this is a safe way to kiss your friend. It involves a lot of late night texts which eventually lead to sizzling sexual chemistry between both of you. It’s almost always foolproof as long as you take your time and play it cool. Get this easy step right, and you’re definitely going to do a lot more than kiss your friend. Get this wrong, and it’s still safe for you!

Times when you just shouldn’t kiss a friend

Now that you know the best tips on how to kiss a friend sneakily and avoid any complications, perhaps it’s time to know the times when you should never really kiss a friend.

#1 When they’re being touchy feely

Look, friends can be touchy feely or every flirty at times. But that’s just not enough of a reason to kiss a friend. Unless the vibes are just right, don’t kiss your friend just because they’re cuddling up or holding your hands. It’s risky and can cost you your friendship and the intimacy.

#2 When your friend’s asleep

This is an absolute no-no. As tempting as a sleeping friend can look, you just can’t kiss a friend when they’re asleep even if you’re drunk. There’s every chance that your friend may wake up and think you’re an absolute pervert! And your other friends will have the same opinion too.

#3 When your friend’s hung over

This kind of a situation may work in a porno flick and it’s a great fantasy too, but it’s just not something you should ever do. You may be really desperate or may have been looking for an opportunity like this since forever, but just don’t do it. There are far easier ways, so why bother with this. It’s just really perverse, and you just can’t take advantage of a friend who trusts your company.

An opportunity may crop up some other day, but never kiss a friend if you find yourself in such a situation. Respect your friend and yourself, because if you do take advantage of a drunk friend, that makes you no different than a rapist.

#4 When your friend is grieving

Now it’s natural to feel physically and emotionally connected when you’re hugging a grieving friend, but don’t use the closure and take advantage of the situation. If your friend makes the first move, then go right ahead. But if your friend just wants a shoulder to lean on at a difficult time, be there for your friend as a friend, not a lusty buddy.

So the next time you’re wondering how to kiss a friend, look no further. This is as foolproof as it can get, especially when you’re trying to get away with kissing a friend!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Amelia – Chapter 6 – Square 1682 – Part 1

So the last few Mondays Amelia and I have been getting killed at the salon and finding repose at Square 1682 pounding drinks. Roman’s on point, plying us with whiskey and chardonnay for a $5.50 check. (See: Roman – Rock n’ Roll Bartender)

He’s always tipped handsomely to match his face. It’s the perfect place for me to drink.

Amelia loves it, because it gives us a night to decompress and get free drinks. I’m happy that for the first time I can hang with my staff.

We’re hanging at the bar and doing our thing, but some older woman starts to talk to Amelia.

This blonde is middle aged and puffy, and waiting to meet her friends upstairs at the hotel. They’re clearly not coming down to meet her and she,s about to attach herself to Amelia.

She’s plowing four fingers of Crown Club in a rock glass.

She somehow inserts herself into our conversation like any lonely drunk.

She attacks Amelia with all of her tales of wind sailing and her activities and kids. It’s like an awful Tinder profile come to life.

I feel for my comrade who’s being very nice because she’s awesome.

This Michelin man in a dress is awful. She’s going on about how she hates young women who are in shape. (Amelia) How she hates how men don’t understand her or how we can lose weight faster than women.

It’s an awful insertion, and the poor lonely middle-aged woman doesn’t know she’s invaded my time with my friend and coworker. I sit quietly and think this is the thing that destroyed her marriage

This is why she’s alone, but I still feel sad for her, as annoying as she is stealing my time with Amelia.

Amelia in the meantime has created a story with this woman that she is my daughter and that I’m her dad.

I find this out about half way between the exchange.

I love exotic fiction and role playing, and admire my coworker for coming up with a creative situation.

Eileen is a cute child. But Amelia is an elegant friend. I understand clearly from 40 years of being in corporate life, but I feel so close to Amelia.

Not the older man preying upon the young girl.

Nothing like that.

I work with her everyday. I look forward to seeing her when Monday arrives. Amelia has a certain magic that radiates her from her every day.

We reveal everything that’s going with us with our romantic lives and it’s just easy and automatic.

It always feels safe, and there’s no judgement. I know Amelia and admire who she is and I feel safe in who I am with her.

I never expected this.

I never expected that it would feel this much fun!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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6 Myths about Coronavirus!

www.cracked.com/blog/6-dangerous-and-stupid-myths-about-coronavirus/