funny – Phicklephilly

15 Funny Questions To Text Your Crush When You Want To Make Them LOL

Getting a funny text from a crush can cause a surge of joy that puts a pep in your step for the rest of the day, especially if their texts are so laughable and cute, you end up re-reading them over and over again. But having a successful convo with your crush via text isn’t just about making them chuckle. It’s also about keeping the conversation going long enough to build a connection that could turn into a date. So, if you’re trying to shoot the perfect shot, having funny questions to text your crush on deck will help you make a great impression. Here are some funny conversation starters to get you off on the right foot.

1. “I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?”

2. “If I were a triangle, would you say I was an ~acute~ one?”

3. “I had a dream that you asked me out on a date and I said, “No.” Can I please take it back?”

4. “How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.”

5. “Are you up for making a trade? How about a date for a kiss?”

6. “On a scale from one to 10, you’re a nine… So, will you let me be the one you need?”

7. “You’ve been everything I’ve been searching for… Hey, are you Google?”

8. “What did the rice say to the teriyaki chicken? Honestly, IDK, but would you be down to grab some this weekend and investigate?”

9. “What do you call an everyday potato? A commentator.”

10. “Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?”

Glad overemotive dark skinned lady with curly hairstyle, laughs happily, expresses sincere emotions, being amused by friend, dressed in orange casual jumper, models in studio alone with mockup space — Shutterstock

11. “Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?”

12. “I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Could you try calling it for me to see if it rings?”

13. “What do I have to do to get on your drunk dial list?”

14. “On a scale of one to America, how ‘free’ are you tonight?”

15. “What songs do you usually sing in the shower?”

Try not to take a flirty, friendly conversation with your crush too seriously. Enjoy the lightness that comes with witty, back-and-forth banter and see where it takes you. You never know — this could be the start of something great.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

15 Underrated Pickup Lines That’ll Definitely Impress

Pickup lines might not always be the best way to start a flirty conversation because they might not be everyone’s jam. But when used appropriately, there are plenty of underrated pickup lines that can serve as useful tools in the dating sphere. Whether you’re on your favorite dating app or you’re trying to make conversation with your crush, zero in on pickup lines that feel authentic to who you are.

According to Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W., Ph.D., and social psychologist, studies show that pickup lines can successfully showcase your humor and communication style to a potential match. “Pickup lines serve as an advertisement, filter, and screening device,” wrote Nicholson on Psychology Today. “The type of line a [person] chooses says something about [their] personality and attributes. Similarly, whether [the other person] finds a particular type of line appealing says something about [their] personality and attributes as well.”

If any of these one-liners make you chuckle, chances are, a compatible match will also find them funny. Or, at the very least, they’ll be happy that you worked up the courage to say something.

1. “Can I ask your opinion on something?”

2. “I think I dropped my phone. Can you call it?”

3. “Are you French? Because ma-damn, you’re fine.”

4. “Hi, I’m [Name]. Someone said you were looking for me.”

5. “Besides being gorgeous, what do you do for a living?”

6. [Point to your friend] “‘Hey, see my friend down there? [He/She] wants to know if you think I’m cute.”

7. “You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pickup line.”

8. “Do you have any raisins? How about a date?”

9. “Hey, are you stairs? Because you take my breath away.”

10. “Good thing I brought my library card, cause I’m checking you out!”

Bar drinking cocktails young couple in love dating talking with drinks at restaurant at night. People at restaurant with alcoholic cocktail beverage. — Shutterstock

11. “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? You are hot.”

12. “Do you know what my shirt is made of? [Boyfriend/Girlfriend] material.”

13. “Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause, you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.”

14. “Can I follow you home? My parents always told me to follow my dreams.”

15. “Didn’t I see you on the cover of ‘Vogue’?”

Even though the stakes can feel impossibly high when approaching someone who’s caught your eye, it’s important to stay true to who you are. There are plenty of compatible matches out there who will appreciate getting a sneak peek into your personality, so don’t be afraid to make a move.

22 Halloween Costumes So Clever You’ll Wish You Thought Of Them First

“I love number 19!”

1. A Chicken Strip:

2. Wonder (Bread) Woman:

3. Cardiac Arrest:

4. Ghost Malone:

5. American Gothic:

6. When Life Gives You Lemons:

7. Cereal Killers:

8. A Pumpkin Spice Girl:

9. Bee-yoncé:

10. A Moosician:

11. A Black-Eyed Pea:

12. An Acute Angel:

13. A Freudian Slip:

14. A Gold Digger:

15. Hell On Wheels:

16. A Blessing In Disguise:

17. It’s Raining Men:

18. Llama Del Rey:

19. French Kiss:

20. Tequila Mockingbird:

21. A Stormtrooper:

In case it took you a second: Storm from the X-Men + a Stormtrooper = genius.

22. And A Zom-bee:

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

15 (Hilarious, Kind Of Sad, But Also True) Signs It’s Time To Get Laid

We all go through dry spells. We all know what it’s like. So let’s give ourselves permission to laugh about those moments when you realize it has been entirely too long since you last had sex. Here are 15 signs.

1. When you feel around on the empty half of your bed, you find a single snow boot, a Life Magazine from 1967, and a half-eaten animal cracker that you swear is judging you with his frowny circus animal half-face.

2. You didn’t know “condom dust” was a thing, until you checked the hidden pocket in your wallet.

3. You’ve stopped saying uber-confident stuff to your friends like, “Tonight, I’m going to Bonetown, Virginia!” and now mutter quietly to yourself about how you yearn for physical intimacy. And then you shed a single tear, unbeknownst to the revelers around you, who are, in fact, there for your birthday party.

4. Your mom’s like, “Are you getting enough sex, dear?”

5. Your friends don’t even ask anymore.

6. You’ve kind of pretty much totally forgotten how to lip-kiss.

7. You have not plucked your Creepy Nipple Hair since before Carly Rae Jepsen was a thing.

8. You have looked at your naked reflection, stood tall, and said aloud, “I’m not that bad.”

9. You have looked at your naked reflection, stuck out your stomach, jiggled it around, frowned at your bellybutton, then ate ice cream in bed until you fell asleep.

10. You have almost successfully convinced yourself that nobody else in the whole world is having sex when your roommate — who has the same name as one of your parents — comes home with the loudest. One night stand. Of all time.

11. You know what’s better than sex?! Cheese. And RPGs. And watching Louie on Netflix, alone, in bed, with a box of white wine. Seriously, you all are missing out.

12. You’ve envisioned telling your next sex partner how long it’s been since your last sexual encounter, in case you do something severely incorrect.

13. Sometimes it feels like you are being beaten in the genitals with a wooden plank, but when you look down, nothing’s there.

14. Sometimes you forget you have sex parts.

15. You take comfort in knowing that you went 16 years without sex. Granted, that was from age zero to 16, but dammit, you can do it again if necessary!

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly Facebook: phicklephilly Twitter: @phicklephilly

Tinder Moments – 18 Strange Tinder Profiles To Make You Cringe Your Face Off

I haven’t done one of these in a while, but why not? These are crazy!

Tinder is a place where people should express themselves, because if you’re looking for a partner for sexy time, or a partner for the not-sexy-times too (which we call a relationship), you should just get it over with and show off your weirdest quirks straight away. Right?! Well that’s what these Tinder people did, and… actually maybe I change my mind. Don’t do what these people did, because people (like us) will laugh at your f*cking weird Tinder profiles. Sorry not sorry. Heh heh.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly Facebook: phicklephilly Twitter: @phicklephilly

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Tag: funny

15 Funny Questions To Text Your Crush When You Want To Make Them LOL

Like this:

15 Underrated Pickup Lines That’ll Definitely Impress

Like this:

22 Halloween Costumes So Clever You’ll Wish You Thought Of Them First

1. A Chicken Strip:

2. Wonder (Bread) Woman:

3. Cardiac Arrest:

4. Ghost Malone:

5. American Gothic:

6. When Life Gives You Lemons:

7. Cereal Killers:

8. A Pumpkin Spice Girl:

9. Bee-yoncé:

10. A Moosician:

11. A Black-Eyed Pea:

12. An Acute Angel:

13. A Freudian Slip:

14. A Gold Digger:

15. Hell On Wheels:

16. A Blessing In Disguise:

17. It’s Raining Men:

18. Llama Del Rey:

19. French Kiss:

20. Tequila Mockingbird:

21. A Stormtrooper:

22. And A Zom-bee:

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15 (Hilarious, Kind Of Sad, But Also True) Signs It’s Time To Get Laid

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1. A Chicken Strip:

2. Wonder (Bread) Woman:

3. Cardiac Arrest:

4. Ghost Malone:

5. American Gothic:

6. When Life Gives You Lemons:

7. Cereal Killers:

8. A Pumpkin Spice Girl:

9. Bee-yoncé:

10. A Moosician:

11. A Black-Eyed Pea:

12. An Acute Angel:

13. A Freudian Slip:

14. A Gold Digger:

15. Hell On Wheels:

16. A Blessing In Disguise:

17. It’s Raining Men:

18. Llama Del Rey:

19. French Kiss:

20. Tequila Mockingbird:

21. A Stormtrooper:

22. And A Zom-bee:

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18 Strange Tinder Profiles To Make You Cringe Your Face Off

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