California Dreamin’ – Ashley – 3 Strikes – Part 3

Wildwood, NJ – 1984

When I got back to Wildwood, NJ I would write letters and sometimes talk to Ashley on the phone. One night I had been drinking while I was on the phone with her and the conversation turned to sex.

Ashley became enraged, that I was gone from her life and all I wanted to do was talk about how great our sex had been. She yelled at me and told me she never wanted to speak to me again. She was peevish, ex-lover spurned with jealousy and rage.

I was fine with that. I was already seeing someone else by then.

Philadelphia, PA – 2008

25 years later, I’m living in Rittenhouse with my girlfriend, Michelle. One day I go on Facebook, and I have a friend request from Ashley! I was happily surprised to hear from her after so long. Facebook was still pretty new back then and people were reconnecting with all of their old friends from the past. Whether that’s a good idea or not, I don’t know. I’m going to say it’s a good thing. I’ve been able to chat with many of my old friends and it’s nice to see some of them after all of these years.

But after about a week or so, Ashley writes me a message that I’m not being a good Facebook friend and she’s cutting me off. I didn’t understand what that meant. I guess I was supposed to be more attentive on this social media platform. It seemed weird to me at the time, but after all that time I didn’t care. She just seemed crazy. Mental illness is an insidious thing. I’ve met enough crazy people here in Philly, and I just don’t care anymore.

Philadelphia, PA – 2020

Here we go again. We’re all in lockdown due to the global pandemic. Out of the blue, I get a message on Facebook from Ashley. Now it’s been 37 years since I laid eyes on her.

She and I would message each other on Facebook. It was nice to chat with her again after all of these years. We had a shared history from a long time ago when we were young and free in L.A. in the early 80s.

She had been to school and became a chef, married for over 30 years, had no children and had been living in Italy for many years. It was fun to catch up.

But after a short period, I started to notice a very angry tone in her messages. She seemed bitter and preachy about certain subjects. I’ve been around for a long time and have a wealth of life experience. I can pretty much read people through the written word as if I’m listening to them in person. It sounded like when she’d get mean in her messages, she was drunk.

I think she searched my blog looking for some heartfelt story about her and there just wasn’t any. I wrote about a bunch of wild things that happened to me and the boys when we got to LA but never got around to writing about her.

She gave me a really hard time about some of my posts. I felt violated and insulted by how corrosive her words were about my blog. So many cruel, words. It hurt, but I’m accustomed to trolls by now. I’m sure it was just her drunken bitterness coming forth from a life not lived. Just silly, juvenile, embarrassing behavior from a middle-aged woman.

It’s a shame when you find out a person has lived over half a century and hasn’t ever evolved as a person.

I have a low tolerance for drunk people even though I have a high tolerance for alcohol. (Not anymore, thank you) But she seemed drunk and rambled on in some of her messages. It felt uncomfortable and I felt bad for her. When I looked on her Instagram it was just a bunch of pictures of locations where she lived. She seems lonely. That’s the vibe I got. No kids, married for 30 years and has almost no info or photos of her husband.

I suppose what happened to her is that she’d sadly lived a life that’s been unfulfilled. She speaks and acts as though she hasn’t grown as a person or matured as an adult. She was still pissed about me leaving her back in 1983!

We spoke on the phone one morning and it was lovely. But she wanted to chat so much on Facebook messenger that it started to feel like too much. She said, “Promise me we can do this every week.”

Who says that? Promise me? I’m not making any promises to some 60-year-old woman who lives on the other side of the planet. I haven’t seen her in 37 years! Anything we ever were was finished a long time ago.

I also noticed how she would message me on Facebook, and if I didn’t respond, she would delete them all which seemed juvenile and weird. Sadly, Ashley’s never matured as a person and hasn’t evolved through the years. I can’t relate to any of that nonsense.

I think poor Ashley’s bored in her life and where she’s ended up, and has turned to alcohol for solace. But that never works. That’s just a band-aid covering up your real issues.

I spoke to my daughter about it and she said it all seemed kind of weird after all of this time.

I would have been happy to chat with her ocassionally on messenger. That would have been nice. But I don’t want to be in constant touch with someone and have them sending me clips of a bunch of music and songs I have zero interest in. It all seemed juvenile. I guess if you marry too young and don’t live a full life, you kind of get stuck behaving a certain way. I don’t know how her husband has put up with all of this childish behavior for so many years. I’d have divorced this woman/child years ago. But that’s his life, not mine. I don’t know the man.

So, at one point she sends me a message about how it’s been great talking to me and hopes I have a nice life. I saw it and didn’t respond. I could tell it was just an attempt to get my attention. But I simply don’t care. I feel nothing for this person.

There were a few more drunken messages that were later deleted. I’m assuming she writes a bunch of wild things when she’s half in the bag, and then the next morning when she’s sober, takes them down.

I figured she’d wait until the end of December of last year. If she hadn’t heard from me, she’d cut me off for the third time.

Had she just reached out to chat and behaved like an adult, we could have remained friends, but she hasn’t the ability to do that. I’m thinking possible bipolar and alcoholism at this point. But I’m not spending any time thinking about it at all. I’m too busy.

I was promoting some of my stuff on Facebook the other day, and I noticed the message chain from her was gone. I thought, “This is it.”

I searched for her on Facebook. She didn’t cut me off or block me, but she had unfriended me. So silly.

So, 3 strikes and it looks like I’m out.

But… like I always say. No matter what happens, good or bad… at least I got a story out of it…

 

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California Dreamin’ – Ashley – 3 Strikes – Part 1

Santa Monica, CA – 1982

When I first got to Los Angeles in 1982, I got a job as a busboy at a local restaurant in Santa Monica called Cafe Casino. It was located in the Wilshire Pallisades building down by the beachfront. Someone had come up with the idea of serving French cuisine in a cafeteria model. People would enter the restaurant, grab a tray and get in line for their meal. They would point to the things they wanted, and there were a couple of girls that would serve them. It was like an expensive high school lunchroom experience. We had a fun crew of people working there and we had a good time.

I had become friends with one of the girls who worked there named Kellie Lawson. She was from Kenosha, Wisconsin. She was one of a million people who had migrated to Los Angeles to become an actor. Most people that you met out there back then all wanted the same thing. Every person in the service industry was waiting for the big break that would never come. Every waitress was either an actress, singer, model, or dancer. Most of the men you met were actors, musicians, or screenwriters. None of them working in the industry, but waiting…

Kelly had got on a greyhound bus to escape the grinding boredom of her hometown in an attempt to make it big in Hollywood. A classic scenario seen a thousand times out there. We had started dating and would frequently fool around at her apartment. We sort of grew out of touch after I left that job to work at Merlin McFly’s down near Venice.

One afternoon, we’re at the restaurant and the guys and I were hanging outside the dining room by the doors. The lunch rush was over and the two glass doors swung open. Who comes rolling in with his squad but Heisman Trophy champion, O.J. Simpson!

I knew him more from the Hertz commercials, but the other guys all cheered when the athlete entered the restaurant. He was a good-looking guy and said hello to us all. When I shook the hand of this man, who could realize that 10 years later he’d be famous for something else.

One of the girls who worked there that I befriended was a charming beauty named Joelle. She was a part-time model and her boyfriend worked at Disney studios.

Here’s her modeling photo card. Beautiful!

A lovely girl. She was not only beautiful but full of sass. She’d laugh at all my jokes and seemed to find me amusing. I liked working with her and having her as a friend back then.

One day, I came to work and she was standing there with another girl. She was 19 years old, cute, and Joelle told me she was her cousin from Philadelphia. I chatted with her and thought she was cool. Since I was originally from Philly we had a small connection.

She was new to California, and I told her we should hang out. She gave me her number and we made plans to do something together.

Eventually, we started dating and things became romantic. I had already been out there for over a year and was pretty jaded. But Ashley was new and was a fun, sweet girl to spend time with. Sometimes we’d just drive around LA in my van and end up down by the beach. We’d make out in the VW minibus and it was a romantic hot time.

We went on several dates. We went to see, ET: The Extraterrestrial, (I cried like a baby) The Dark Crystal, (A bunch of muppets with David Bowie), and Flashdance. (Chick-flick, but the great soundtrack.)

Sometimes we’d just hang out at my apartment, but many times I’d finish work and come visit her at her cousin’s house out in Culver City. It was fun to hang out in her room and watch TV and make out. We were just a couple of teenagers enjoying life and our youth together. We were a couple of kids on the loose in LA. She loved Richard Gere and I loved Farrah Fawcett.

One night I stayed over there late. We stayed up all night as young people do. When I came out to get in my van to go home, I saw that the driver’s side door was standing wide open.

My minibus had been broken into, and the thieves had stolen my entire stereo system. This was heartbreaking to me because I loved my van and listening to my tunes. They even took the boom box that I used to listen to on the beach back in Wildwood, NJ. I felt so violated by that incident, I was reluctant to go back to her neighborhood again. It was a planned professional job. They had hit several cars on the street that night.

The more Ashley and I spent time together the closer we became. She would stay over at my apartment in Mar Vista on the weekends. That eventually turned into our first intimate encounters. I don’t think I realized at the time that I was Ashley’s first.

But after that, it was really fun to be together, and fooling around became part of our relationship. It was a natural progression back then. You can only make out in my van for so long before the bigger things start happening.

One night while we were in my apartment fooling around someone broke into the apartment next door and robbed the place. My neighbor was in Greece at the time with her boyfriend so nobody was home. The thieves ransacked the place and I suppose stole anything valuable.  I later heard from one of my neighbord that they saw some guys listening next to my window to see if anybody was home. But I guess hearing our laughter they moved on to next door and ripped off my neighbor’s place instead of robbing us. Crazy!

My neighbor moved out shortly after that and I moved into her apartment. It was bigger and installed a waterbed I had gotten from a chef I worked with at McFlys who had back problems. That waterbed only cost me $120 and was awesome! It was so cool having a waterbed. I remember one night the thermostat in the unit went off and the whole side of my body was cold when I woke up. I thought I was half dead! I had a lot of wild times on that waterbed.

More tomorrow!

 

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How to Hook Up with a Girl Who Has a Boyfriend

Sometimes it seems like all the good ones are taken. Now, you’ve found a girl that you feel a strong connection with and attraction to, but she has a boyfriend. Here are some ideas for how to win her over, ranging from being straightforward to being stealthy. It’s up to you to decide: is all fair in love and war?

Telling Her Your Feelings

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    Evaluate your relationship with her. It’s important to consider whether telling her your feelings is appropriate based on the strength of your relationship.

    • Imagine you tell her. Is your relationship strong enough to handle it if she doesn’t feel the same way, or if she does but decides to stay with her current boyfriend? If yes, it might be worth the risk. If no, weigh your options carefully.
    • If you haven’t known this girl very long, this probably isn’t a good option. She could see your professed feelings as very abrupt or forward.
    • Make a pro/con list to weigh the risks and benefits of telling her your feelings. Also, consider the risks and benefits of not telling her. Is it worth the risk?
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    Plan out what you want to say. Frame this conversation carefully, so she knows you are not making demands of her. Ask a friend to talk out the scenario with you to work out any kinks. Your friend can give you a perspective on your choices of words.
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    Build up your courage. Of course, you’re nervous to tell her your feelings. Not only could this admission change your relationship with this girl, but it could affect your relationship with her boyfriend or other mutual friends if you have them. Fear signals that the outcome is important to you. Once you’ve decided you want to go ahead with expressing yourself, use your fear to motivate you, rather than deter you.
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    Tell her. Once you’ve built up your courage, go for it.

    • When you’re alone with her, say something along the lines of: “Caitlin, I know that you’re dating Sam, and I don’t want to mess anything up for you, but I’ve started to have feelings for you. I want you to know.” If you think she reciprocates the feelings, you can add, “I’ve sensed that the attraction might be mutual, and I want to clear the air.”
    • If she has been giving you vibes that she’s interested in, it’s important that she knows so that she doesn’t keep giving you mixed signals.
  5. Respect her response. You’ve weighed the risks and benefits of your decision, and you knew that she might not respond favorably. It is important, especially if you want to remain friends, to accept and respect her response.

    • She may tell you that she does not feel the same way. Rejection is painful, but it is one of the ways that we reduce our ego and grow.
    • She may tell you that she does have feelings for you, but that she wants to stay with her boyfriend because they have a strong relationship and she also has feelings for him. This is harder to accept because it feels like there is a glimmer of hope, but once she tells you her decision to stay with her boyfriend, you need to move on.
    • Don’t torture yourself. Waiting around and hoping that she’ll change your mind will only be a waste of your time. If you accept her response, you will be better able to move forward and search for a romantic connection elsewhere.
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Seducing Her Stealthily

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    Establish yourself as a constant in her life. If she only sees you around every once in a while, you won’t be on her mind that often. If you want a shot with her, you need to see her regularly

    • Join her friend group. Ingratiate yourself to her best friends. If her friends hold you in high regard, chances are she will, too. Being part of her friend group ensures that you will be invited to events that she will be attending.
    • Get her phone number. Wait for a natural opportunity to ask for her number. You were having a conversation and it was cut off? Ask for her number so you can continue talking. You’re planning a get-together for your friend group? Perfect reason to make sure you have her number.
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    Highlight your good qualities. Make sure she sees that you’re a positive person to have in her life. Do you have a great sense of humor? Are you empathetic and open to talking about your feelings?  Are you particularly creative? Slip these traits into your conversation with her or her friends. She’ll start to see what she’s missing out on.
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    Find the weak points in her current relationship. No relationship is perfect, and there are likely things she’d change about her boyfriend if she could.

    • Casually ask her about her relationship. As she grows to trust you, she’ll share more information with you. If she tells you that her boyfriend never takes the time to hear about her day, don’t tell her that you’d always make time to listen to her if you were in his shoes. Store this information. Another day, make sure you ask her how her day is going and actively listen.
    • If you are hanging out with her friends while she’s not around, pay attention if they are gossiping. They may say something about her relationship that you can use to play up your strengths in contrast to her boyfriend’s weaknesses.
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    Make your move. You’ve set the stage so that she sees you in good light. You can decide if your move will be verbal or physical. Will you tell her you’re attracted to her or just lean in for the kiss? Wait for a time when the two of you are alone and the mood is light.
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    Be prepared for her reaction. Though you’ve been contemplating this for a while, it could be totally out of the blue for her.

    • If she tells you she’s attracted to you, too, give her some time to decide if she wants to act on that. Don’t pressure her. That will make her withdraw from your friendship and undo the work that you’ve done to show yourself off.
    • If you physically hook up with her, recognize that there will be consequences. In all likeliness, she’ll feel guilty, and might even be angry with you for disrespecting her relationship status. You will seriously damage any relationship you have with her boyfriend, and likely with mutual friends.
      • If you make this move and she tells her boyfriend, you will probably be cut out of her life unless they decide to break up.
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    Ask her for a decision. Regardless of whether you expressed your feelings emotionally or physically, give her time to process her feelings. She may decide that she wants to give a relationship with you a shot. She may decide that she wants to stay with her boyfriend. Once she makes that decision, that’s it. Trying to convince her to change her mind will only make her put up walls. 

Waiting Patiently

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    Decide if she is someone worth waiting for. You could be waiting around for a long time for this relationship to end if it ever does. Even then, you might have to watch her go through a string of relationships if she moves quickly from one relationship to the next.

    • Consider her current relationship. If she’s in a strong relationship, she is not likely to leave it, even if she likes you, too.
    • Though it’s not romantic, scientifically there’s no such thing as “the one.” Do you want to spend your life waiting around for a girl who is interested in another person? There are plenty of other girls looking for someone like you.
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    Foster a strong friendship with her. If you care enough to wait for her, disregard Method 2. Don’t manipulate her feelings. Be present in her life and let her know that you are someone she can trust. She may drift in and out of relationships, but she will keep you around.

    • If you genuinely care about her, nurturing a friendship with her will come naturally. Make small gestures. Remember her birthday and how she likes her coffee. If you notice she’s having a rough day, ask her if she wants to talk about it.
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    Wait until her current relationship ends. She will know you care for her well-being if you respect her relationship. Don’t try to break it up.

    • If she is happy in her relationship, she will not thank you for critiquing her boyfriend or finding ways to get their relationship on rocky ground. Even if she is unhappy in the relationship if she realizes your motive she will see it as manipulative.
    • If you truly care for her, you will want her to be happy, even if it’s not with you.
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    Express your feelings to her in a timely but respectful time frame. Once she and her boyfriend break up, give her time to grieve that relationship and heal from the hurt. Don’t wait too long, though, or she may move on to another relationship before you get your chance.

Tips

  • Don’t be too clingy or she will try to distance herself from you.
  • Make absolutely certain that this girl is worth it. So often we want the impossible relationship because we are too afraid to find a relationship that might actually happen.
  • If you step on her boyfriend’s toes, it will be all over. He will be more protective of their relationship, and you might even be cut out.
  • If you realize you’re stuck in the friend zone, move on. There are other great girls who don’t have boyfriends.

Warnings

  • If she breaks up with her boyfriend for you, someday she may break up with you for someone else.
  • You can seriously damage relationships by trying to break a couple up. Not only might you ruin your relationship with her and her boyfriend, but you also may hurt relationships with mutual friends, classmates, or coworkers.
  • If you succeed in hooking up with her and she finds out about your plot, you could jeopardize your relationship.
  • In Method 2, you will be manipulating your own crush for your own selfish wants. If you are willing to do this, you may not care about her as much as you claim to.

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

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25 Signs You’re Not Actually Dating

Remember when you were in high school and college and dating really just meant “hanging out”? Once you reach a certain age—ahem, 21, when you can legally go out to a restaurant and order a bottle of wine—the definition of dating becomes much, much simpler. In order to be dating someone, you need to be going out on dates, among other things.

After the jump, 25 signs you’re not actually dating.

  1. You’ve never hung out before 10 p.m.
  2. All of your plans arise out of spontaneous run-ins.
  3. He’s married or has a girlfriend.
  4. You’ve been out more than five times, but have never had a meal together—it’s been all liquid.
  5. You don’t know his last name—let alone his middle!—or where he lives.
  6. You’ve gone out more than five times and haven’t so much as held hands or kissed. (You’re just friends, homie. Or he’s Amish.)
  7. You’ve only hung out in a group in public; the only alone time you have is in bed.
  8. You have to make all attempts at contact—except those late-night booty calls.
  9. You’re sleeping together, but he’s never slept over.
  10. You haven’t had brunch the next day.
  11. You’ve been “hanging out” for a month but have never done so in the light of day.
  12. If you meet his friends, they have no reaction to hearing your name.
  13. You meet up places—he never officially makes plans, like, “Are you free Saturday to see ‘Hot Tub Time Machine’?”
  14. It’s been less than a week since you began seeing him.
  15. It’s been more than a week since you’ve heard from him.
  16. When he sleeps over, he always sneaks out in the morning without saying goodbye.
  17. You only communicate through text messages and email.
  18. In fact, you met online and all of your “dates” have been via Skype!
  19. He leaves a $100 bill on your nightstand before he takes off.
  20. Your friends refer to him as a nickname instead of his real name.
  21. When you ask him to hang, he says he can’t because he’s got a date.
  22. His concern over you having the flu only extends to his inability to get laid, not to your physical well-being.
  23. When you go out for drinks, you always go dutch. Literally, you don’t even switch off buying rounds.
  24. It’s been a month and he doesn’t know how you like your coffee.
  25. He is having dinner, buying drinks, sleeping over, and making plans with someone—it’s just not you. If he’s “dating” someone else in a way that’s above and beyond the way he’s dating you, you’re not actually dating, sister.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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20 Things All Men Want Their Girlfriends To Stop Doing

When you get into a relationship, you start noticing your boyfriend’s habits, both good and bad and massive and small. The fact that he always forgets to turn the dishwasher on or he keeps buying more sparkling water when there’s a ton in the fridge? Those are two pretty small things and not a big deal at all. But there are other aspects of his behavior that are a lot more important, like how he feels about committing to you.

Just like you want your BF to be nice and have positive habits, he wants the same for you. The truth is that men have a list of relationship grievances that they would really prefer not to see on a regular basis.

Here are 20 things that all men want their girlfriends to stop doing.

20. Texting Your Friends While Hanging With Him

When you’re hanging out with your boyfriend, he really doesn’t want you to be on your phone… and he really, really doesn’t want you texting your friends. This is one of those things that literally everyone seems to do since it doesn’t seem rude.

But it is pretty rude, right? It’s no wonder that guys aren’t big on this.

19. Complaining All The Time

Does anyone like a complainer? No, definitely not, but guys especially don’t enjoy having girlfriends who complain all the time.

You could feel that you have totally legit reasons to be negative, like that one friend who never shows up for dinner plans on time. But to your BF, this is frustrating, and he doesn’t want to hear such negativity.

 

18. Taking Two Hours To Put On Makeup And Do Your Hair

Of course, it’s fun to put on makeup and attempt a new hairstyle (or the same hairstyle and lipstick that you always go for). Is it fun for your boyfriend to have to wait two hours for this beauty magic to happen?

Not so much… which is why this is something else that all men want their girlfriends to stop doing.

17. Bugging Him To Propose Already

It can feel frustrating to watch the months and years tick by and realize that you still don’t have an engagement ring on your finger. However, bugging a guy to propose isn’t going to work.

Men also want their girlfriends to stop asking when they’re going to pop the question and generally bringing this up in an awkward way.

16. Two Words: Couple Selfies

To you, couple selfies are the most adorable thing that you could post. You want to see the positive comments and show that you have such a cute boyfriend.

To your boyfriend, these are annoying. And not something that he wants to be a part of. All men want their girlfriends to stop taking and posting couple photos. They would really love for these selfies to disappear.

15. Two More Words: ‘It’s Fine’

All men definitely want their girlfriends to stop saying “I’m fine.” This is a cliche statement that doesn’t really work.

While it’s tempting to say this in the middle of an argument, it’s not going to deliver the results that you want. Instead of convincing your BF that everything’s cool, he’s just going to be mad that you’re not being honest with him.

 

14. Spilling Secrets (And Anything Else) To Your BFFs

It’s awesome to have a close group of friends, and of course, your BFFs are the people who you want to share so many things with. The problem is that while you have no problem spilling your boyfriend’s secrets (and anything else about your relationship), he’s not that comfy with this. All men want their girlfriends to keep these things to themselves.

13. Calling Him Bae Or Other Annoying Slang

Relationship slang like “bae” has gotten super popular over the past few years, so much so that you honestly think nothing of using these terms.

While you love them and think that they’re adorable, your boyfriend isn’t quite on the same page. When it comes to what men would love for their girlfriends to stop doing, using slang is on the list as well.

 

12. Social Media Oversharing

Your social media followers don’t really need to know every detail of the relationship that you’re in. And yet some people honestly don’t even think twice about oversharing on these platforms.

It’s safe to say that guys aren’t into these kinds of posts and really wish that their girlfriends would refrain from doing this.

11. Inviting Him Out With Your Friends

In super rare cases, a guy will be happy to go out with his girlfriend and her group of friends. It’s much more likely that he doesn’t want to do this at all.

It’s just like how you don’t want to head out with him and his friends. You just don’t get along or you don’t have enough in common, and everyone feels awkward or left out.

 

10. Saying His Mom Doesn’t Like You

Men don’t want their girlfriends to say that their mom dislikes them. It might be the truth. She could be so rude to you. But you should honestly never bring this up.

It’s important to have a good relationship with his family if you’re going to be with him forever, and yet you can’t really convince him that his mom isn’t the nicest person unless he tells you that himself.

9. Getting Angry That He’s Not A Mind Reader

All men would love for their girlfriends to stop expecting them to be mind readers. This happens a lot during fights or when you want him to understand what he did to make you so upset.

Many couples would love being able to read each other’s minds. It would definitely make things a lot easier. Unfortunately, that’s just not a thing. Sure, you don’t want to spell things out for him, but in this case, you totally should.

 

8. Buying Clothes For Him

You could find the nicest hoodie ever, buy it, bring it home, and your boyfriend could still shake his head and say that you shouldn’t have gotten it for him.

A lot of guys don’t want their girlfriends to buy clothing for them since it makes them feel like they’re incapable of doing that themselves. No guy wants their girlfriend to be their personal shopper.

7. Being In A Bad Mood For No Reason

It’s true that sometimes, you’re just not in a good mood. You can’t shake it, you can’t explain it… but you can stop moping around the house and annoying your BF.

The truth is that when you spend all day long being super unhappy, it changes the energy around you and it doesn’t make your boyfriend very happy, either. He would love for you to stop being in a bad mood for no reason at all. It just confuses him.

 

6. Nagging Him And Wishing You Could Change Him

Men don’t want to be changed by the women who they are dating. What’s something that they dislike even more? When their girlfriends nag them to change.

Sure, it could be true that he should dress better or stop using his phone so much. But he doesn’t want to hear these things from the person who loves him. It’s just all kinds of awkward and makes him feel bad.

5. Saying That You’re Bored

Sure, everyone gets bored. But everyone also finds it totally annoying when someone tells them that they’re bored.

Guys want their girlfriends to stop saying that they’re bored, and if you’re in the habit of this, it would definitely be good to stop (and find something interesting to do instead of repeating this over and over again).

 

4. Wanting Him To Stop Seeing Certain Friends

You have a right to dislike some of your boyfriend’s friends. Do you have a right to tell him to stop hanging out with them? Not really.

You wouldn’t love if he told you the same thing about your own social circle, so it’s probably best to steer clear of this type of conversation. Just don’t hang out with them and everything should be fine.

3. Texting Him Too Much When He’s At The Office

There’s a time and place for texting. It can be great to text your boyfriend so you can keep in contact with each other during the day (and maybe say some super cute things to each other, too).

But guys don’t enjoy their girlfriends texting them when they’re busy at the office and have a ton of deadlines and tasks on their plate.

 

2. The Silent Treatment

If men want their girlfriends to stop saying “I’m fine” then they definitely want to stop getting the silent treatment.

What seems like a smart and effective thing to do during an argument is actually super immature and even kind of silly. It doesn’t accomplish anything. Guys would be happy if their girlfriends would stop doing this, that’s for sure.

1. Moving Too Fast

Men also want their girlfriends to stop moving too fast. It’s hard not to want to do this when you like someone so much and if you’re a hopeless romantic.

But guys know that sometimes, moving fast can mean not seeing what’s actually going on or not getting to know each other enough. If girlfriends could stop doing these 20 things, relationships would be a lot smoother (but, of course, you could say that there are things that boyfriends do that aren’t the best).

 

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