13 Types of Men You Shouldn’t Date if You’re Looking for True Love

Not to call out men, but some of them suck. So, ladies, here are the types of men you shouldn’t date and fend off heartbreak.

Here’s another one submitted to me by a female reader. Thought it worth sharing…

Thank you, Sylvia!

Take it from someone who has dated her fair share of the types of men you shouldn’t date. If I can prevent you from going through what I did I will do everything in my power to make that happen.

Ladies, we are smart. We know what we want. But, we are not perfect and we often let men get into our hearts and mess with our minds. It isn’t our fault. I blame it on biology.

For any men reading this, I do NOT mean all men. As the title clearly states, this is about certain types of men you shouldn’t date, not all men. With that being said, any man who ever questions something you say with, “not all men,” is probably a type of man you shouldn’t date.

There are types of men you shouldn’t date?

As open-minded as I like to consider myself to be, yes, there are types of men you shouldn’t date. There are types of men you shouldn’t even get near. And yes, ladies, there are types of women that men shouldn’t date too. 

Is this a punishment for people that mistreat us? Not exactly, it is self-preservation. It is a way to protect ourselves from trauma before it happens. I know that we cannot prevent heartbreak. It will happen to the best of us.

But we can prevent unnecessary heartbreak and pain that was avoidable. There are men that should not be allowed to date us. They should be forced to wear a sign that says, “do not date me.” But, since that isn’t a law *yet*, we will have to do the work to weed out the bad ones ourselves.

Types of men you shouldn’t date

I hope I didn’t scare you too much, but just enough to focus on you. Women should not have to put up with men that mistreat us. But, there will always be some of us who get swept up or stuck in manipulation.

This is for those of you on the lookout for types of men you shouldn’t date and those who aren’t sure at all what to look for or where to look. Everything from red flags to subtle behaviors can pinpoint the types of men you shouldn’t date, so bear with me.

#1 The Procrastinator. A guy that puts off everything until the last minute is not just doing so at work. He pays his bills at the last second or even late. He is generally irresponsible. Not to mention, he cannot make you a priority.

This is the type of guy that promises you will do something great for your anniversary but continues putting it off until you are too old to leave your front porch. You do not want to end up with this guy. So, why date him now? You want a man that can keep his promises.

#2 The Charmer. A charming guy is great. He makes you less nervous. He knows the exact right thing to say and exactly when to say it. And that is what makes him so dangerous. I’m going to pull from Disney for this metaphor, but remember Frozen? Well, Hans is this guy.

And Anna’s lack of knowledge about men she shouldn’t date almost led to the downfall of Arendelle. Before getting sucked into the charm of a man like this, remember you don’t want a guy who is perfect. If he is, he is hiding something. You want a guy that is real.

This a real-life Kristoff. He may have some quirks and woes, but he cares and is there for you.

#3 The Generalizer. This is my personal favorite. This is what I dealt with for four-plus years. So I am an expert on this type of man you shouldn’t date. This is the guy that sort of says the right thing. You like him, and you think he likes you but are never quite sure.

He gives you just enough hope to stick around, but never enough to feel confident in the relationship. He doesn’t call you his girlfriend or introduce you to his friends or family, but he does show signs he likes you.

If he cannot be straightforward with you one way or another, it will never go anywhere past his confusion, so get out now, before you are too hooked. 

#4 The Love Bomber. A love bomber is dangerous. This is someone that rushes into things really quickly. This is someone that says I love you early. They spoil you and treat you how you always wanted to be treated. Sound great, right?

No. A love bomber is on the hunt for someone looking for acceptance and wants to be validated, and they do that. They love bomb you and smother you with amazingness so that you crave that feeling. And they do it just long enough to trap you.

Then another side of them comes out. The bomb goes off so to speak and this love bomber can become controlling, abusive, and even violent. This is a master manipulator. So, look out for a guy who loves too much, too fast. He cannot love you if he doesn’t know you.

#5 The Avoider. Much like the procrastinator this man is emotionally juvenile. He may like you, you may have a great time together, but anytime you want to take a step forward he avoids it like the plague.

He will make excuses not to meet your friends or family. He won’t make room for your toothbrush and and extra set of underwear at his place. He is pretty much avoiding commitment. Think of him as Chandler Bing from Friends before Monica.

He has potential, but you deserve better. You do not want to be his Janice.

#6 The Secret Keeper. A guy who keeps secrets cannot be trusted. Relationships are not just about communication, but honesty. And if he is shady, there is a reason for it. Ladies, we have a sixth sense, we can smell when something fishy is going on.

Instead of second-guessing yourself, second guess him. Do not go through his drawers or his phone. I am not telling you to be a crazy jealous person. Instead, confront this guy. Ask him for straight answers to the things he has been hiding. If he cannot be upfront with you, you can do better.

#7 The Pathological Liar. My most recent ex was this guy. For the longest time, I rolled my eyes and kept on dating him. He was a pathological liar. And this isn’t someone who lies about cheating necessarily, but about everything.

At first, he told me he got into a prestigious school and had this awesome job. When I found out it wasn’t true I didn’t push, I assumed he was just trying to impress me and moved on. But these small fibs and random and almost pointless lies continued.

For a while, it just seemed like this odd yet harmless thing to me until I uncovered some truths about his past. The lies carried into every aspect of him and our relationship. If someone lies with no purpose, they have no problem lying to anyone. 

#8 The Cheater. ALERT! ALERT! Once a cheater always a cheater is not just a saying. This person has a track record. You wouldn’t take a job with a CEO that has a history or embezzlement, so why date a man that has a history of being dishonest?

We all hope we can be the one that he will stay with and won’t cheat on. We even tell ourselves we are the real deal and the other girls are just for sex. But do we believe that? Even if we did, we deserve better. We deserve a man that is loyal and devoted.

If you know he cheated before, calculate your risk. If he cheated once in high school or college and regrets it, go in with caution. But if he has cheated in the last three years, turn the other way. This is the type of man you want to avoid.

#9 The Misogynist. If he doesn’t treat women equally, he won’t treat you equally. If he is only respectful to women he finds attractive and not anyone else, he is a misogynist.

No matter how much good you see in him and how successful or funny he is, a misogynist will never let you soar. He will never let you do better than him. He will not consider your feelings or opinions. He may be damn good at pretending, but a misogynist is not a man, he is a coward.

#10 The Green-Eyed Monster. Jealousy is ugly, my friend. We all get a taste of envy once in a while and that is normal, but when it gets out of hand, you shut it down. I, myself, had trust issues due to past relationships. And I knew I needed to take a step back from dating or else I would be a jealous mess.

As someone who has dealt with this personally, I can tell you someone who is jealous was likely burned in the past. This doesn’t mean you should feel sorry for them and let them control your life. It means, if you like them, give them a chance to get over their trust issues on their own.

If they are jealous either way, you do not need that in your life. Jealousy doesn’t just drive them nuts, but it drives you nuts. You want to prove you are honest and loyal, but shouldn’t have to. Jealousy means there is no trust, and you cannot date someone that doesn’t trust you.

#11 The Hulk. A man who has anger issues is the type of man you shouldn’t date. This is a man that cannot control himself. Whether he punches walls or gets in fights in bars, there is no saying if or when that anger will make its way back to you.

Save yourself the trouble. There are plenty of not violent men out there that are still passionate.

#12 The Dude. The man that is a child is not the man for you. You should not have to care for the man you’re dating. If he can’t hold down a job, do his own laundry, and cook at least three different meals, he needs to grow up.

A man who is lazy in life is lazy in love. 

#13 The Ghost. The Simba of twenty-first-century humans. This is the man that disappears without a trace. Maybe you chatted for a week, maybe you went on a great date, maybe you have been dating for months, then he just dropped off the face of the earth.

No one is unreachable in this day and age. He is making the choice not to talk to you and not to answer you. Whether he haunts your Instagram or keeps up on your Snapchat, he is not interested in you at the level you deserve. Even if he comes back to life and messages you, he does not deserve your attention.

There are men out there with the respect to actually talk to you, find one of them.

It may take a little longer to find your Prince Charming when you cut out the types of men you shouldn’t date, but it is well worth it!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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Men and Women Share the Biggest Red Flags in a New Relationship

Dating is hard. Maintaining your various dating profiles on The Apps is practically a full-time job in itself, and even once you meet somebody, hit it off, and make it past the first date, there’s no guarantee that it will be plain sailing. In a thread on Reddit, men and women have been sharing the warning signs that something isn’t right in a new romance, from minor quibbles to major red flags.

1. Jealousy

It can feel flattering, at first, that your new partner wants to keep you all to themselves — but jealousy often leads to controlling behavior. If your boyfriend or girlfriend acts annoyed every time your attention isn’t on them, if they insist on knowing where you are, who you’re spending time with, even who you’re texting, then you’re in an unhealthy relationship.

Another commenter cites: “When they start complaining about other people in your life and trying to get you to see how ‘bad’ these people are for you.” If the person you’re seeing starts making disparaging or “concerned” remarks about your friends and family, and suggests you’d be better off spending time with just them, well, that’s textbook abuser behavior. Abusive partners will often separate their partner from their support network in order to make them dependent on them. Here’s how to spot the signs that you’re being manipulated by your partner.

2. Flakiness

It’s disappointing if the person you’re seeing texts you to cancel a date, and extra disheartening if they do it more than once. As one commenter puts it: “To an extent life can and will get in the way, but there’s a certain level of enthusiasm you want to see from a potential partner and if they can’t muster it during the honeymoon stage of dating, it’s probably not going to improve later.”

Here’s the thing: we’re all busy. But if somebody really wants to see you, they’ll likely be able to carve out enough time in their busy schedule for a quick coffee date in between their other commitments. Remember, you’re worth other people’s time.

3. The way they interact with other people

Watch out for how your date talks about other people. Do they make harsh judgements about people they hardly know? Are they rude to waiters? Even if they’re being perfectly courteous to you in that moment, this behavior is an indicator of how they treat other people in general, and shows you that it’s possible they’ll act this way towards you at some point.

See also: people who only ever seem to talk about themselves on dates and don’t ask you any questions. “Take note of how many times they’ll say or start a sentence with my/I/me/personally,” advises one commenter, as a time-saver.

4. The way they talk about previous partners

Look, when you’re on a first or second date, the best thing to do is simply not bring up your past relationships. If the conversation ends up going there, be brief. And if somebody talks about their ex in detail, you should listen carefully: it’s entirely possible that they are not over that person, and you might find yourself cast in the role of rebound fling.

Equally concerning is if the person you’re seeing says that their ex is “crazy”: this often translates to “they behaved in a way I found inconvenient,” or even “I cheated and they responded emotionally.” And if they insist that all their exes are assholes? Well, you know what the common denominator there is. “If ALL their exes are jerks, it most likely means that they are the jerk,” says one commenter. “The two crazies I dated both spoke this way about ALL their former relationships.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Phicklephilly 2 is now for sale on Amazon!

 

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15 Signs That Say A Girl Only Wants Attention, Not You

Signs that your girl only wants your attention, not you

Consider this scenario: You meet a girl and you both really hit it off well. In the beginning, she keeps doing things to get your attention. You do not pay much heed to it and find it cute.

But over time, her behavior becomes desperate and intense. You start doubting her feeling towards you. It seems you are just there in her life to satisfy her ego and you do not really matter to her. If this is a situation that you are facing in your love life, then you are actually the victim of an attention seeking girlfriend.

Who is an attention seeker?

Simply put, an attention seeker is a person who only wants attention from all the people around him/her. He/she probably feels empty and disappointed if they are unable to garner the attention of others. For gaining the attention of others, an attention seeker is actually quite skilled in managing and manipulating people. Socially too, the person is able to adapt very easily.

It seems you are there in her life to just satisfy her ego and you do not really matter to her.

When you are dating an attention seeking girl, you will notice that she will have the power to draw you towards her and keep you by her side, but will never really give you the respect and value that you deserve. She will ensure that you give 100 percent to the relationship and might even make you believe that you both can have a bright future together. But in the end, she genuinely has no interest in being in a relationship with you. She wants you around just to validate her and boost her ego.

Types of attention seekers you meet in the dating world

Attention seekers usually get into relationships in order to make sure that there is someone constantly by their side to praise them and put them on a pedestal. Here are the types of attention seekers that you may find in the dating world.

Merrymaking attention seeker

When you will hang out with this kind of attention seeker, he/she will seem adventurous and fun to you. The merrymaker will instill life and enjoyment in any place or situation whatsoever. But when in a relationship, such merrymaking attention seekers tend to frustrate their partners with their boisterous and loud behavior.

Over sexualized attention seeker

He/she will seem absolutely irresistible to you because of his/her physical appearance and way of speaking. You will feel as if you are lucky to be in a relationship with such a sexy person. However, you might end up being jealous and angry most of the time due to his/her flirtatious behavior.

lady flirting with a man
Always being flirty source

Argumentative attention seeker

This kind loves to dominate others by using his/her debating skills. Partners of argumentative attention seekers generally feel annoyed and drained due to their aggressive ways.

When in a relationship, attention seekers dominate their partners, do not care about how their partners feel regarding their attention seeking attitude and they want attention from not only their partners but others as well. So if you meet a girl and feel that she wants your attention but has a boyfriend, then do not be shocked because this is how an attention seeking girl usually behaves. Better keep your distance from such a girl, because attention seeking is deeply ingrained in the minds of such people.

15 signs a girl only wants your attention and NOT you

An attention seeker is so addicted to attention that he/she can adopt any means to seek the validation and approval of others. If you want to avoid being duped by an attention seeking girlfriend, then look out for these 15 signs which will help you identify an attention seeker in no time.

1. An attention seeker thrives on compliments

A girl seeking only attention from you will work on her appearance and make herself look sexy just to get praise from you and the others around her. She will also unnecessarily make negative remarks in relation to how she looks so that you can compliment her instead. She basically lives on compliments.

2. Bragging is like her favorite hobby

She will exaggerate her achievements and good qualities. She will persistently brag about herself, her life, her job, her family, etc., not to put you down, but just to show you her importance and value. She actually feels the need to be superior to the people around her, so showing off is one way to do so.

lady bragging to get attention
Being a boss Image source

3. She loves creating a scene

Her world comes crumbling down if she has to face even a small problem like a fight with her friend or a bad day at work. She loves creating a scene out of nothing and tells everyone about it. In this way, she keeps getting the attention she wants and you keep being there for her because of genuine interest and concern.

4. An attention seeker is highly active on social media

You will notice that most of the time, the girl will be active on various social media websites like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram etc., and will keep uploading pictures and quotes on her profiles. She does so because she wants people to be in constant touch with her and keep giving her the attention she needs. She will probably not reply to your text messages or call you back. But she will definitely reply to you or tag you on social media posts. This is an absolute sign your girl is attention seeker.

5. She can easily make you and others feel jealous

If she feels that you are losing interest in her then she will bring back your attention towards her by making you feel jealous. She will flirt with your friends in front of you and might even act close with her guy friends. In addition, she can make others jealous by flaunting you in front of her friends. She will become too cozy with you in front of her friends so that they feel uncomfortable and bad. This is a sign she only wants attention.

6. She is never really there for you

She expects you to be there for her at all times. But when you will need her, she will always bail out giving you some lame excuse. She will never give you clear answers to any of the questions you ask, especially if the questions are related to commitments and your future together and will always cook up some story to keep you by her side.

7. An attention seekers opens up very fast

After she meets you and thinks you are the guy she wants attention from, she will actually become way too comfortable with you. She will start sharing her feelings and thoughts with you and behave with you like you are an old acquaintance. If a girl becomes overtly friendly with you in a short span of time then you must be careful, because she might just be an attention seeker.

Signs she is an attenion seeker
Speaking about everything Image Source

8. An attention seeker lacks maturity

At first she might seem like a mature adult to you. But eventually, you will see that she is like a child who constantly needs approval and attention from you. If you fail to do what she wants then she will throw tantrums and irritate you. She will not feel secure about herself and you will have to continuously validate her.

9. She never lets you have ‘me-time’

An attention seeking girlfriend will always want you by her side when she wants it. If you decide to spend time on your own then she will get upset very easily. If you make plans with your friends, then she will either manipulate you to cancel the plan or force you to take her with you. She wants to be the center of your world so she will never let you have me-time.

10. An attention seeker argues a lot

Without any concrete reason, she will start fighting with the others or with you. It is just her way of seeking attention and establishing her superiority over others/you. At the end of the arguments or fights, she will twist the conversations in such a way that all the blame will be on you and she will steer clear of any blame.

11. Flirting just comes naturally to her

Not a day goes by without her flirting with another guy. It is like a routine to her. Even if she is in a relationship with you, she will not shy away from making advances at another guy. This is because attention from one guy is not enough to fill the void in her.

12. She pretends to be nice

A girl thriving on attention pretends to be nice and kind-hearted because she knows this is how she will be able to get the validation from others. So she is extremely good and goes out of the way to help people, just so that they approve of her. But internally, she might not be that kind-hearted at all.

13. An attention seeker seems to know everyone

It seems that people all over the world are her friends. She has so many contacts and acquaintances that you fail to keep up and remember them. Her social media profiles have lengthy friend lists and even if she has not met someone in person, she will behave as if she knows them very well.

14. She likes hanging out in public places

Instead of going out with you for a peaceful and quiet date, she will make plans to go to a nightclub or the hottest place in town. Why? Obviously because she wants to be seen and wants to get attention, so she will prefer public places where other guys might also notice her. This is an absolute sign she is an attention seeker.

couple holding hand in public
Spending time together Image Source

15. Her friends are copies of her

Most of the time, the friends she hangs out with are just like her. They also exhibit the same attention seeking signs, because of which she might actually not let you meet with her friends as well. Very rarely will you find good friends around her and even if good friends are there, they will not able to improve her behavior.

Attention seeking girls are unable to build strong and normal relationships with others because it does not give them the ‘celebrity feel’ or any sense of stimulation. So if you are hoping to create a long lasting relationship with someone, then do not fall into the trap of an attention seeker.

How to handle an attention seeking girl?

A couple of suggestions for those who have fallen for attention seeking girls would be the following: Deal with the entire situation with a lot of patience, self-assurance and self-security, be strong enough to set boundaries in your relationship and do not let it go if she crosses those boundaries, talk to her honestly and let her know that such a behaviour will not be tolerated by you, and finally back off from the relationship. Do not give her the opportunity to use and hurt you. If there is no hope for the relationship then you must have the courage to break up with such a girl.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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Dating a Latino? Here are 7 Things You Must Prepare Yourself For

If you are dating a Latino man today, you might have spent a long time knowing each other. This is especially true for couples who came from different cultures.

Dating a Latino is not a walk in the park. You also have to prepare yourself for the challenges or differences that may arise from your relationship. Aside from their sense of style which is very important, it is also vital to know more about their culture, food, their love for dance, and most particularly their passion for music.

You might find dating a Latino challenging, that’s why we laid out this list to help you. Here are things you should know in dating a Latino, according to Day Translations:

1. You will hate the things you loved

Latinos are known as family-oriented. It is not a surprise anymore if the Latino that you are dating always talks about his mother. What will drive you more crazy is if you found out that at the age of 30, sometimes it is still their mother who is buying their underwear! Sounds totally made-up, right? Not if you’re dating a Latino.

2. You will dread your mother-in-law

As mentioned above, Latinos are most of the time, dependent on their mothers. Do not get surprised also once you marry a Latino that your mother-in-law will always have a say with everything around your house from the color of your sofa to the food that you serve. It might feel like an invasion, but that’s just how tight-knit their families are.

3. You will celebrate Christmas at night

This is a very common tradition for Latinos. Once you are invited by a Latino to celebrate Christmas with them, you have to expect lots of greetings through hugs and kisses. Latinos typically celebrate Christmas at midnight on December 24, also known as Buena Noche. It might seem exhausting, but on the bright side, Christmas is one of the most festive seasons of the year in Latino culture.

4. You will eat your dinner very late

Once you are dating or living with a Latino, you have to expect that you will be eating your dinner late at night. This can happen most especially if your mother-in-law visits your house. She will be sharing lots of things with you to the point that you will have your dinner at 10 in the evening, but hey, better late than never, right?

5. You will arrive late everywhere

Once you are about to meet a Latino, do not expect that you will meet him at the exact time that you scheduled. Most of the time, they don’t have a sense of punctuality, so get ready in adjusting your own schedule to fit theirs. Their 8 a.m. is sometimes 8:30 a.m. or even more than one hour late.

6. You will understand the meaning of jealousy

Latinos, just like most passionate lovers, are very affectionate to the point that they will have bouts of jealousy. Don’t look at it as a flaw, rather see it as his expression of love for you. But after he has expressed his feelings of jealousy, get ready because he will be extra sweet and romantic.

7. You will dress more conservatively

Remember number 6? Latinos don’t like it when their ladies get ogled at in public. Yes, you have to dress more conservatively because they don’t want you to get disrespected by other guys. It does not mean that you have to cover every part of your skin, they just want you to be more formal and look respectful.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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Burden in my Hand

“If you want to make a delicious omelet, you’re going to have to break some eggs.”

I’ve been working a lot lately. Frankly I’m feeling a little burned out. But I love to work and get my energy from those around me. I get bored if I’m not doing something productive with my days.

I enjoy my down time though. I love my alone time. My daughter Lorelei is in and out. Normally she’s working and hanging our with friends or spending time with her boyfriend. After work I like nothing more than to come home, sit in my chair, sip some wine and watch my shows on Netflix.

Last night I was just chilling and I look over at my phone and there’s a text on my Facebook messenger.

It’s from Annabelle! (See: Annabelle: 2013 to 2014)

I wrote her series last year. It’s been done and in the can for a long time. It was difficult to write. Writing about my other ex Michelle was a pleasure. (See: Michelle – 2007 to Present – A Brand New Day) But I found that you can live something, you can think about it and talk about it with your friends and family, but until you write it out, you never really resolve your feelings.

Once I wrote about Annabelle, I finally forgave her and let her go.

I haven’t seen her in over 3 years, and the only contact she’s had with me was a happy birthday on Facebook messenger last year. I’m so over Facebook, Instagram and social media in general. I just use it to promote phicklephilly now. I no longer care to show the world what I’m doing, nor do I care what anyone else is doing. The people in my life call me, text me and spend time with me. Real world stuff. Who gives a shit what you’re eating for dinner, or what vacation you’re on. I don’t give a shit about your kids. I don’t want to see your baby. That child who doesn’t even realize that his privacy as an individual citizen has been stolen by you so you can show off.

Get a life and go live it privately.

So I’m chilling at home last night watching my show, and I look over at my phone and there is the message. First of all Annabelle has my phone number she could have simply called me or texted me directly if she wanted to talk to me. But here I get a test on Facebook Messenger.

Apparently she’s been reading phicklephilly and realized that Annabelle is about her. First of all, please follow my blog properly Annabelle. I need followers! You can also “like” and comment if you want to.

Here’s what the text said: (I’ve corrected all of the grammatical errors)

“I hope that your hatred and your venom doesn’t completely fill your memory of me. There was a long time when things were good. Also don’t call my family white trash. The artists that you wrote about in your last account are some of the most successful culture makers in Philadelphia, and mark my words, spend more on one project than you make in a year. And God bless them for the difficult road they have taken. You sound like an asshole, and every time you call yourself a gentleman and make another generalization about women, you reveal your falseness.”

Bitter? Table for one?

I have no hatred or venom for anyone in this world. If there’s one person I should have it for it would be my ex-wife, not for the way she behaved in my life but for the way she treated and hurt my daughter. (I do like that Annabelle used the word “Venom”) I have nothing but good will towards Annabelle. She goes on to say that there was a long time when things were good in our relationship.

I have to disagree. Sorry for the spoiler, but we only dated for around 9 months. The first month or so was courtship and then she was my girlfriend for maybe 7 months after that. Much of the time she was absent even when we were in the same room together. The best parts of the relationship were few and far between for me. I was frustrated, annoyed, and disappointed most of the time. But I still felt love for Annabelle, but I’ve been over it for years. Rarely does she ever cross my mind anymore.

She doesn’t like that I referred to her family as white trash. I suppose that was a bit harsh. But stereotypes are earned by those that get them. You can have a bunch of money and still behave like a hillbilly.

The only way I know anything about her family is because she would never let me meet them. I wanted to but she said that I wasn’t ready to meet her family. I remember her actually saying that she even didn’t like her family very much.

Of course that all changed when they kicked in a fortune for her to live in a newly constructed house.

In regard to these “culture makers” she’s referring to, I just don’t see it. Performing silly, poorly written performance pieces does nothing to contribute to the art culture here in Philly. The Walnut Street Theater, Ballet X, (Love!) The Philadelphia Orchestra, The Philadelphia Museum of Art, The Annenberg, and so many more. Who cares how long they spend on a project. Why spend a year of your life making trash? It’s just not any good. I’ve seen several of their shows and it’s just silly cabaret that feels forced and tragically outdated. I think they need God’s blessing for the foolish and wasteful path they’ve all chosen in their poverty-stricken lives. Just the grinding sadness of approaching middle age and never to have held down a real job or ever learned a prosperous vocation.

She says I sound like an asshole. I’ve gotten this before about the blog from these “raging feminist types.” Someone calling me an asshole or a misogynist either don’t know me or are too dumb to understand what they’re reading on my blog. 80% of my followers are women and they are the most loyal and outspoken on phicklephilly. I am proud to have a strong female following of bright, sharp women that can think for themselves and understand what’s real in the world and what’s truly important in their lives. I’ve recently added a female author to my blog. She owns every Saturday for the next year!

Annabelle also says that every time I call myself a gentleman and make generalizations about women I reveal my falseness. (Does anybody even use the word “falseness?” It sound like something she read somewhere.

Here’s the thing. If anybody should know what a gentleman I am, it should be Annabelle. All of the romantic gestures I showered her with, standing up from my chair when she left or entered a room, opening the door, pulling out her chair for her, putting on her coat for her, all the dinners I cooked for her, the surprises, the gifts, etc. Annabelle had never, EVER been treated as well as I treated her. She still communicates and is friends with a former lover that used to knock her around when he was angry. Who’s the asshole now? I’ve never raised my voice or my hand to a woman, EVER. I have 3 beautiful sisters and a daughter that know I am one of the last true gentlemen alive in the world. But how could Annabelle realize that even now? She had the best and she squandered it. My dear friend Robert refers to her as “The Selfish Loser.”

But, I like how Annabelle has crept out of the shadows to secretly read phicklephilly. I LOVE that my art has inspired her to attack me on social media. Because good art makes you feel something. Shitty art is dismissed and forgotten.

In closing, I really don’t want to hurt Annabelle. It’s just a bunch of words on a blog. I have to tell these stories. Writing her series really cleared up a lot of things for me, because as you’ll read in the coming chapters she really did a number on me. She didn’t willfully do it, she just isn’t mature enough to know how bad her behavior is and how it affects those around her. Adults just don’t do that to each other.

There are a few more chapters of Annabelle left and they’re pretty interesting. Thanks to everyone who supports phicklephilly and most of all to Annabelle for inspiring this bonus post!

 

 

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