Tips To Be The Best Kisser Ever

1. GO OUT AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

The key to becoming a good kisser is to start meeting new friends. You’ll never really know that some possibilities exist if you don’t get out of your comfort zone and show your beauty to the world. Just like me, I’ll never realize that waiting for the right guy would waste so many opportunities if I hadn’t made time mingling with lots of interesting men.↓

2. YOU SHOULD HAVE THE COURAGE TO DATE

Looking back, I never thought I’d say these words right now. I was actually not the type of girl who often went on dates. I was afraid to get hurt and meet a guy who wouldn’t take me seriously. But then, who cares? Sometimes we need to have courage and have fun. There’s no perfect relationship, anyway, so go on a date! Kiss as many guys as you want.

3. LEARN HOW TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE

So what if you’re a girl? Are we not allowed to express what we really feel and ask the guy we like on a date (unless he’s already taken)? As long as you’re not breaking the rules, go forth and take the man out! I know that it takes guts to be that kind of girl but if you don’t try it then you’ll lose the game. We are in the 21st century and many women have stood their ground to fight for our rights. One of those rights is to be able to choose who to date and kiss.↓

4. SEIZE THE DAY!

For someone who was never been kissed, the most important step you need to take before the act is to get over your inhibitions. Stop overthinking and just do it! Carpe diem they say—unless you want to lie unconscious on the ground and wait for a prince charming to come save you, which will probably never happen. Girl, princes don’t even come with shining armor so stop daydreaming and start living that dream today!

5. GIVE IN TO YOUR FEELINGS

Once you meet that guy who makes your stomach turn because of butterflies, do not waste any more time. Just pounce on him like a lion focused on its prey. You’ve waited long enough for this to ever ignore the chance. So please, just give in to your feelings. Let your emotions carry you away. Do not be afraid to be out of control. Remember, once you’re out in the jungle, you can only do so much to be wild and free.↓

6. PRACTICE, PRACTICE, AND PRACTICE!

Your first kiss may not be as magical or amazing as you’ve imagined it to be. But there’s probably a lot of time to make up for it. Don’t pressure yourself too much. As the old saying goes, practice makes perfect. Kiss random guys you like if you’re single. And of course, if you have a partner, experiment all the time. Avoid stressing yourself about getting better too soon—just do what you think feels good for both of you!

7. JUST ENJOY THE MOMENT

Take it slow. Despacito, as what the Biebs has reminded us to do in his anthem of the year. Enjoy the moment. Do not ever stop even if your lips are sore. Take time to savor those “kissable lips” like you’re kissing your significant another goodbye. When you’re done memorizing the curves of his lips, experiment with your tongue—push it in, desperately. Maybe move your hands a bit, rub his chest or wrap it around the back of his head, too. Yes, just like that.

When kissing becomes overwhelming for you, especially if you’re a beginner, just be yourself, try to relax, and close your eyes. Having a memorable kiss truly lies in you. Own it and make that intimate moment a magical one! So, which among these tips would you like to try?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

What Does His Kiss Mean? 9 Types of Kisses Decoded!

I’ve been busy this week with some commercial writing assignments so I’ve gotten some assistance from one of my female readers.

Take it away, Felicia!

Your field guide to the most common lip locks.

There are many different ways to kiss your lover, and knowing how to kiss a guy or girl in certain ways allows you to communicate something different about what or how you’re feeling in the moment, whether you’re making out, making up, or out in public on a date.

But usually, when you’re on the receiving end of any of these types of kisses, it’s hard to channel your inner Jane Goodall and make notes about the experience.

Don’t worry, y’all.

We’ve got you covered with both kissing tips, as well as the scoop on what kisses of different kinds mean.

Here’s a field guide to the major types of kisses, how to kiss a guy or girl like you mean it, and what you’re saying with every smooch.

1. The Peck

Sounds innocent, doesn’t it? But this quick lip-on-lip contact still sends a message.

The primary one?

“I want to kiss you and — hopefully, sometime soon — make out, but it’s early and we’re not there yet, so this peck on the lips is a suggestion that there is to be much more smooching in our future.”

2. The Long Peck

This is a lingering, closed-mouth kiss on the lips. It’s very sensual, yet still somewhat chaste and restrained. It’s how grown-ups say, “We are so about to make out big-time.”

This extended peck is usually followed by a knowing smirk and, sometimes, an audible “mmmm …”

3. The Woodpecker

These are rapid-fire pecks. Playful and cute, these say, “I really like you, a lot, but I don’t want to get myself all worked up right now.”

These kisses convey a lot of affection without allowing things to get too hot and heavy.

It’s also a good option when it comes to PDA. No one wants to watch you swallow each other’s faces while they’re having their morning coffee.

4. The French Kiss

The French kiss is the king of kisses and involves open mouths and some form of tongue interaction.

It’s too complex and nuanced for one description, so we’ve broken it down even further:

  • Standard French Kiss: Moving your open lips against each other with some tongue interplay can be very sweet, very hot, very passionate, or all of the above. This kiss really gets the hormones racing and says, “I would like to sleep with you.”
  • Tongue Tango French Kiss: Ideally an elegant ballet of tongue play, the Tongue Tango occurs when the tips of the tongues push off of each other and twist around. This kiss says “I think outside the box in and out of bed” This kiss, however, is a close relative of the dreaded Lizard Kiss, where tongues dart in a stabbing, lizard-like motion. What’s the lizard saying? “I am a creep.” So be careful.
  • He’s Eating My Mouth French Kiss: This kiss leaves the kissee with what we call a saliva beard. Basically, the kisser opens his or her mouth as wide as possible, rolls their tongue all around and down their partner’s throat, and then, inexplicably, slides it all over their poor partner’s face. This kiss says, “I want you to think I’m really sexual and passionate but in reality, I am totally oblivious to your vibe and will probably stink in bed. Big time.”

5. Love Bites

Getting in a little nip of the lip or neck means “I’m playful,” and might also reveal that you’re not totally opposed to a little bit of pain with your pleasure.

Try not to draw blood, though.

6. I Love You/I Hate You

This one involves a sudden, passionate embrace after bickering.

This kiss is unchoreographed mayhem at its best. It says, “You make me so mad and I can’t stand you but I must have you, and that makes me even madder which makes me want you, even more, damn you!!!”

7. Hard-mouth-closed

This one is featured in many classic films. It occurs when the leading man finally pins down his female nemesis/love interest and plants one on her. It’s often accompanied by a wrist grab so that you don’t push him away, you firebrand!

It says, “I’m going to teach you not to sass me and give me guff, by gum!”

8. Against The Wall

“I want you so bad.”

Although this kiss usually happens spontaneously and in a semi-public setting (e.g. alleyway, bar bathroom, book reading, etc.), you always wish there was a bed nearby that you could collapse into, because — damn it! — this is hot!

9. The Bend Back

Old-fashioned and romantic, he leans into you and bends you backward, often with one hand holding the small of your back, and the other placed gently against the side of your face. Swoony.

This is generally for people who are uber-comfortable with each other, have a sense of humor, and are absolutely crazy about each other.

This kiss says, “Darling, I am yours. Hold onto your petticoats as my white steed approaches to whisk us away to fairy-land.”

Yeah, it’s a fun one.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Why Do We Kiss? Science Explains Why People Kiss To Show Affection

What makes this intimate act so fascinating?

Pecking, smooching, French kissing, and playing tonsil-hockey — there are as many names for kissing as there are ways to do it. Whether we use it as an informal greeting or an intensely romantic gesture, kissing is one of those ingrained human behaviors that seem to defy explanation.

Its many purposes — a blow and peck for good luck on dice, lips to the ground after a rocky boat ride, kisses in the air to an acquaintance, and the long slow smooches of Hollywood — have different meanings yet are similar in nature.

Why is it that we love to pucker up? Why do we kiss at all?

Kissing is more than just showing affection.

Philematologists, the scientists who study kissing, aren’t exactly sure why humans started locking lips in the first place. The most likely theory is that it stems from primate mothers passing along chewed food to their toothless babies.

The lip-to-lip contact may have been passed on through evolution, not only as a necessary means of survival but also as a general way to promote social bonding and as an expression of love.

But something’s obviously happened to kissing since the time of the chewed food pass. Now, it’s believed that kissing helps transfer critical information, rather than just meat bits.

The kissing we associate with romantic courtship may help us to choose a good mate, send chemical signals, and foster long-term relationships. All of this is important in evolution’s ultimate goal — successful procreation.

Kissing allows us to get close enough to a mate to assess essential characteristics about them, none of which we’re consciously processing. Part of this information exchange is most likely facilitated by pheromones, chemical signals that are passed between animals to help send messages.

We know that animals use pheromones to alert their peers of things like mating, food sources, and danger, and researchers hypothesize that pheromones can play a role in human behavior as well.

Although the vomeronasal organs, which are responsible for pheromone detection and brain function in animals, are thought to be vestigial and inactive in humans, research indicates we do communicate with chemicals.

The first study to indicate that chemical signals play a role in attraction was conducted by Claud Wedekind, over a decade ago. Women sniffed the worn t-shirts of men and indicated which shirts smelled best to them.

By comparing the DNA of the women and the men, researchers found that women didn’t just choose their favorite scent randomly. They preferred the scent of a man whose major histocompatibility complex (MHC) — a series of genes involved in our immune system — was different from their own.

Having a different MHC means less immune overlap and a better chance of healthy, robust offspring.

Kissing may be a subtle way for women to assess the immune compatibility of a mate before she invests too much time and energy in him. Perhaps a bad first kiss means more than first date jitters — it could also mean a real lack of chemistry.

Men are sloppy and women are choosy when it comes to kissing.

Behavioral research supports this biological reasoning. In 2007, researchers at the University of Albany studied 1,041 college students and found significant differences in how males and females perceived kissing.

Although common in courtship, females put more importance on kissing, and most would never have sex without kissing first. Men, on the other hand, would have sex without kissing beforehand; they would also have sex with someone who wasn’t a good kisser.

Since females across species are often the choosier ones when it comes to mate selection, these differences in kissing behavior make sense.

Men are also more likely to initiate French kissing, and researchers hypothesize that this is because saliva contains testosterone, which can increase libido.

Researchers also think that men might be able to pick up on a woman’s level of estrogen, which is a predictor of fertility.

Why do people kiss? It’s more than just biological reasons.

But kissing isn’t all mating practicality — it also feels good. That’s because kissing unleashes a host of feel-good chemicals, helping to reduce stress and increase social bonding.

Researcher Wendy Hill and colleagues at Lafayette College looked at how oxytocin, which is involved in pair-bonding and attachment, and cortisol, a stress hormone, changed after people kissed.

Using a small sample of college couples that were in long-term relationships, they found cortisol levels decreased after kissing.

The longer the couples had been in a relationship, the further their levels dropped. Cortisol levels also decreased for the control group — couples that just held hands — indicating that social attachment, in general, can decrease stress levels, not just kissing.

Looking at oxytocin levels, the researchers found that they increased only in the males, whereas the researchers thought it would increase in both sexes.

They hypothesized that it could be that women need more than a kiss to stimulate attachment and bonding, or that the sterile environment of the research lab wasn’t conducive to creating a feeling of attachment.

Kissing, therefore, plays a role not only in mate selection but also in bonding.

At an Association for the Advancement of Science meeting on the science of kissing, Helen Fischer, an evolutionary biologist, posits multiple reasons for lip-locking. She believes that kissing is involved in the three main types of attraction humans have: sex drive, which is ruled by testosterone; romantic love, which is ruled by dopamine and other feel-good hormones; and attachment, which involves bonding chemicals like oxytocin.

Kissing, she postulates, evolved to help on all three fronts.

Saliva, swapped during romantic kisses, has testosterone in it; feel-good chemicals are distributed when we kiss that help fuel romance; and kissing also helps unleash chemicals that promote bonding, which provides for long-term attachment, necessary for raising offspring.

No, not all humans (or species) partake in kissing.

Some mammals have close contact with each others’ faces via licking, grooming, and sniffing, which may transmit the necessary information. And although chimps may pass food from mother to child, the notoriously promiscuous bonobos are apparently the only primates that truly kiss.

And while it’s thought that 90 percent of the human population kisses, there’s still the 10 percent that doesn’t.

So, it seems that as much as we use kissing to gather genetic and compatibility information, our penchant for kissing also has to do with our cultural beliefs surrounding it.

Whether we live in a place where kissing is reserved for close acquaintances, or somewhere where a casual greeting means a one, two, or three cheeker, one thing does remain highly consistent: the side to which people turn while kissing.

It’s almost always to the right. A 2003 study published in Nature found that twice as many adults turn their heads to the right rather than the left when kissing. This behavioral asymmetry is thought to stem from the same preference for head-turning during the final weeks of gestation and during infancy.

One of the best things about kissing, however, is that we don’t have to think about any of this. Just close our eyes, pucker up, and let nature takes its course!

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

The Custom of Kissing Under the Mistletoe

The custom of kissing under the mistletoe could possibly be related to a Scandinavian goddess.  Frigga, the goddess of love, marriage, and destiny in Norse mythology, is strongly associated with mistletoe, which has been used as a decoration in homes for thousands of years.

According to Scandinavian legend, the god Balder the Beautiful was killed by a spear of mistletoe and his grieving mother Frigg, who banished the plant to the top of trees.  When Balder came back to life, Frigg made mistletoe a symbol of love.

In Brittany, France, the plant is known as Herbe de la Croix because it is thought that Christ’s cross was made of mistletoe wood.

Mistletoe is associated with many pagan rituals. In fact, the Christian church disliked the plant so much, thanks to its pagan associations, that it forbade its use in any form.  Some English churches continued this ban as late as the 20th century. Druids believed mistletoe growing on oak trees was the most sacred form of the plant and that it offered protection from all evil, as well as being the source of much magic.

The early Christian church banned this use of mistletoe because of its association with Druids. The mystery of the mistletoe’s method of reproduction led many people to link the plant with spontaneous generation, fertility and aphrodisiacs. In medieval times, women wishing to conceive would wrap mistletoe around their waists and wrists to increase their fertility.

Holly became a Christian substitute for mistletoe, which is why we ‘deck the halls’ with it. The sharply pointed leaves in holly were supposed to symbolize the thorns in Christ’s crown and the red berries were to symbolize his blood.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

15 Crazy Facts About Kissing We Bet You Didn’t Know

All the making out facts you were afraid to ask.

Making out. Puckering up. Smooching. Snogging. Lip-locking. Tongue-wrestling. Rounding first base. Sucking-face. Whatever you call it, kissing is one of our favorite parts about falling in love.

We’ve already given you the scoop on what the ladies really think of kissing, dished on the secret health benefits of kisses, and given you invaluable tips on how to kiss and make out. Now, we’re taking it one step further with an impressive list of eyebrow-raising facts about kissing and interesting tidbits about smacking lips.

Consider it your introductory Philematology 101 class (which, you’ll come to find out, is the scholarly study of kissing).

1. Your kissing style originates in the womb.

See a kiss in any Hollywood movie, painting, or sculpture and more often than not, you’ll see couples leaning in to the right. Why is that?

A German researcher observed over 100 couples and noted that two-thirds of them tilted their heads to the right. The scientific community at large theorizes that this instinct originates from the womb when we naturally tilted our heads to the right.

2. Kissing takes serious muscle power.

One kiss requires 146 muscles to coordinate, including 34 facial muscles and 112 postural muscles. A team of British researchers — Elaine Sassoon, Annabelle Dytham, Robert Scully and Professor Gus McGrouther from the Rayne Institute in University College, London — studied kissing couples under an MRI scanner and found that a kiss mostly involves the orbicularis oris (the muscle around your mouth).

“Not only do you use your facial muscles in kissing, but approximately 112 postural muscles as well,” Professor McGrouther said to The Telegraph. Yikes, sounds like a serious facial workout!

3. Our love of kissing comes from rats.

Kazushige Touhara and colleagues at the University of Tokyo believe that our affinity for kisses descends from an ancient rat. Mice and men have a surprisingly similar genetic makeup — sharing a common ancestor that lived sometime between 75 and 125 million years ago.

This ancient rat-like creature went by the name of Eomaia scansoria (Eomaia, Greek for “ancient mother,” and scansoria, Latin for “climber”). The science team theorizes that this creature would rub noses with a mate to sample his or her pheromones and signal desire. So, basically, human kissing is really rodent behavior. Who knew?

4. The history of “X” behind XOXO traces back to the Middle Ages.

We use “XOXO” as an affectionate afterthought to our signature all the time in cards and love letters, but not many people know its origin story.

Historians trace it back to the Middle Ages when most people couldn’t read or write. The peasants used to mark “X” as a stand-in signature and then kissed the document as an added gesture of sincerity.

5. A king once decreed that kissing be outlawed.

On July 16, 1439, King Henry VI banned kissing in England. His reasoning? It was to curtail the spread of disease in the kingdom. Duly note that his mental breakdown around 1453 required his wife, Margaret of Anjou, to assume control of his kingdom. (So that’s the level of crazy we were dealing with at this time.)

This went on to spur a lot of other weird smooching bans all over the world. Later in 16th Century Naples, not only was kissing in public banned, but it was punishable by death as well.

6. French kissers caused commuter headaches.

Oh, the French. Apparently in the early 20th Century, so many French commuters were getting frisky on the train that they had to ban kissing altogether.

So whenever you feel the train slow to a stop and hear the conductor’s drone voice call out over the intercom that the train has stopped “due to a sick passenger aboard the train ahead,” you might have an idea of what’s up.

7. The luck of the Irish comes with a kiss.

Call it the (germ-infested) luck o’ the Irish. Over 400,000 tourists gather to kiss the Blarney Stone near Cork, Ireland, every year — dubbing it the most “unhygienic” tourist attraction in the world. According to local legend, those who bend over backward to kiss the stone are “greatly” rewarded with “the gift of the gab,” essentially meaning flattery.

So if you’re looking to obtain the name of sweet talker, you might want to take a trip to Blarney Castle. But be warned! It’s been said that people have fallen to their deaths attempting the superstitious feat.

8. We almost didn’t have epic movie kisses.

. . . Some of the greatest kisses in Hollywood history almost never happened. Why? Back in 1930, a set of censorship regulations called The Hays Code prohibited acting couples from kissing in a horizontal position (as in, lying down). Also, married couples had to sleep in twin beds on screen and, if kissing action did happen on beds, one actor had to have their foot on the ground.

Oh yeah, and they couldn’t kiss for longer than three seconds. Not exactly the picture of romance, right?

Well, directors had a way around this. While filming the 1946 film , Alfred Hitchcock had Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant repeatedly kiss, briefly disrupted by dialogue and movement. It’s now considered one of the sexiest movie scenes of the time. Luckily, this pain of a ban dropped in the late 1960s.

9. People make careers out of the science of kissing.

Just in case you were so into kissing that you wanted to make a career out of it, the study of kissing is better known as philematology. And someone who studies kissing wears the title of osculologist. (That sounds like a cheesy bro T-shirt.)

10. This couple’s record-breaking kiss is incredible.

According to the Guinness World Records, the record for the longest-lasting kiss goes to Ekkachai and Laksana Tiranarat of Thailand. These champion smoochers locked lips for 58 hours, 35 minutes, and 58 seconds. (No word on if they got bathroom breaks, but we’re thinking that would have been a mood-killer.)

11. Kissing saves lives.

If your man isn’t big on PDA, this might convince him otherwise. A famous study once determined that men who get a peck on the cheek from their wives before heading out to work lived five years longer than their kissless counterparts

12. The Italians are expert kissers. Everyone else? Not so much.

C’mon guys, this is a depressing statistic. According to The Normal Bar, only a little over half of the world’s lovers kiss passionately. Take notes from the Italians. They know their romance.

13. The average person spends two weeks of his or her life kissing.

Experts estimate that the average person will spend 20,160 minutes of his or her lifetime kissing. In other words, that’s your senior spring break in college. So what happens in Cabo becomes a statistic.

14. Looking for The One? Kiss this many guys…

That’s a lot of frogs to find your prince. But that’s the price of true love, right? A British study commissioned by eHarmony to release with The Rose Project tracked the number of dates, breakups, and one night stands it takes for men and women to find lasting love — and kisses weren’t left out of the equation. It determined that it takes 15 kisses for women and 16 for men.

15. Kissing has amazing health benefits.

Making out with your partner is just what the doctor prescribed. Kissing burns calories (specifically, about two to three per minute), strengthens your immune system, relieves aches and pains, and prevents cavities! I mean, who knew how healthy swapping spit could be?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Phicklephilly 2  is coming soon on Amazon!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly