Can You Get Coronavirus From Kissing? Here’s What Experts Suggest

A quick peck on the lips with your partner can feel like the most natural thing in the world. A steamy makeout sesh with a friend with benefits or an after-date kiss with your latest Tinder match might seem equally harmless and easy. But while the coronavirus continues to spread around the world, you might want to consider steering clear of contact and exercising extreme caution. Kissing can transmit coronavirus, and ultimately, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

COVID-19, a respiratory disease caused by a novel coronavirus, has been detected in countries all over the world, including the United States. It is primarily spread through human contact through the mucus membranes in the face (the mouth, eyes, and nose), so touching anything that’s been in contact with an infected person’s respiratory droplets and then touching your face, for example, can expose you to the virus. “Coughing and sneezing can also expel saliva, as well as mucus,” Vincent Racaniello, Ph. D., Higgins professor of microbiology and immunology at Columbia University, tells Elite Daily.

The severity of the pandemic varies by region, with some cities and states reporting more cases than others, but the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommend avoiding close contact with people who are sick and putting distance between yourself and other people if coronavirus is spreading in your community. All these factors considered, swapping saliva is a no-go if coronavirus is spreading in your community, since you or your potential partner could be an asymptomatic carrier.

kamisoka/E+/Getty Images

“Any type of droplets, whether they be respiratory or saliva, can spread the virus, so kissing is definitely going to be something you want to be very careful about,” Dr. Darshan Shah, founder and medical director of Next Health, previously told Elite Daily. “And definitely when you’re in close quarters with someone, like in a romantic situation, you’re going to be spreading respiratory droplets to each other as well, so you need to be very careful.”

There’s no way to tell if you’ve been exposed to coronavirus right away, because symptoms (fever, cough, shortness of breath), don’t show up right away and transmission depends on what you both have been exposed to. “For the first five to 10 days, people won’t exhibit any symptoms at all,” says Shah. “So even though someone doesn’t have symptoms, it doesn’t mean they don’t have coronavirus.” According to the CDC, coronavirus symptoms might not show up in infected individuals until two to 14 days after exposure, so even if the other person says they feel totally fine, be vigilant and think twice. Shah recommends asking them if they’ve been traveling recently, “especially to one of the affected areas,” or if they’ve been around other people who are showing symptoms. “So, if they have a family member at home that has symptoms, or if they know that they work at a place where someone was diagnosed with coronavirus, those are the types of situations where they really need to be careful about their intimacy.”

LOUISE BEAUMONT/Moment/Getty Images

“Once infected, there’s little that can be done,” says Racaniello. If you are not yet showing symptoms, Shah recommends trying to boost your immune system with foods like ginger and leafy greens, green tea, and spices like turmeric and oregano. Get seven to eight hours of sleep every night, and try to keep your stress levels down as much as possible. If you can exercise at home for a little bit every day, that’s also a good idea. “That’s really all you can do if you don’t have symptoms,” Shah says. But if a few days have passed since your makeout and you’re feeling symptoms, the CDC recommends self-quarantining as much as possible and calling your doctor to figure out next steps.

If you have an exclusive partner who you know hasn’t traveled abroad and hasn’t, to their knowledge, been around any potential contaminated situations or people, Shah says you’re “probably OK to go ahead and kiss each other.” He still recommends adhering to the CDC guidelines making sure you and your partner are both practicing social distancing (the practice of “deliberately increasing the physical space between people to avoid spreading illness,” according to Johns Hopkins Medicine) from others for at least 14 days in order to avoid exposing yourselves, and thus, each other if you want to keep kissing regularly.

If you think you’re showing symptoms of coronavirus, which include fever, shortness of breath, and cough, call your doctor before going to get tested. If you’re anxious about the virus’s spread in your community, visit the CDC for up-to-date information and resources, or seek out mental health support.

 

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How to Kiss: 20 Secrets Good Kissers Know

During a hot hookup sesh, kissing might not be your top priority — you might want to get right down to business. But TBH, kissing can sometimes be the most important part of any intimate moment, and there are so many different types of kisses and kissing positions you can try out. To make sure that you learn to kiss to your fullest potential, we’ve gathered the best tips and tricks on how to be a good kisser and *wow* anyone you touch lips with!

It’s honestly pretty difficult to tell if you’re actually a good kisser (even celebrities have awkward kissing tales). And sometimes it’s just about the chemistry and ~tension~ between you and your bae. But we’re here with advice that will leave you confident AF in your kissing abilities regardless of the situation. Here’s how to kiss a guy (or girl), and impress the heck out of them doing so.

1. Good kissers keep it #real.

The #1 must for how to be a good kisser: You actually want to kiss. If you’re kissing someone only because it feels like what you “should” be doing ~in the moment~ or because you feel weird pressure, then STEP AWAY FROM THE FACE.

2. Good kissers respect consent.

A well-timed “Can I kiss you?” can be swoon-worthy. Boundaries are important — you gotta make sure that you and bae are on the same page.

3. Good kissers understand the importance of setting.

Like your English teacher says: setting = time + place. Is the right spot for a first kiss at your grandma’s house, or in the middle of an argument, or when you have the flu? Probably not. But what about on camera? These first-time kissers decided to have their first ever big smooch documented for the world to see. Check out how a first kiss really happens…

4. Good kissers stay fresh.

Another important tip for how to kiss a guy (or girl): Would you want to be thisclose to someone’s face space only to find that their mouth smells like the dumpster behind Olive Garden? Kay. If you’re anticipating a trip to MakeoutTown, avoid the stank-inducing foods like garlic, onions, processed Cheetos-like cheese, etc. It’s basic manners.

5. Good kissers Keep Calm and Carry Balm.

No one can hate when your gloss game is strong, but actually mashing that onto a human’s face is gross and cruel and no. Bae is probs trying to kiss your actual lips, not your Melon Mango Primer, so stick to that good ol’ neutral lip balm.

6. Good kissers talk it out.

Listen, #aintnobodygottime for bleh makeouts. Good kissers skip to the good parts by taking control and mentioning the things you do like (“So, that tongue move you just did. Yasss.”), and show them alternatives to the things you don’t. (“Hey, instead of that … toothy … situation you did with my lip, how about you just graze it gently, like this?”)

7. Good kissers move ~like you’re my miiiirrror~.

  • I’m not mad at envisioning J.Timbs when kissing anyone, and
  • Bomb-dot-com kisses are a mirror dance — meaning, mimic: Slow down, take note of the things bae does, and gently do it back. Bust out moves you’d want them to do to you. Remember that the show’s not all about you: You’re both in control of this dance.

8. Good kissers know: Less is EVERYTHING.

Thinking too hard about going for some ~sexy trick~ you learned is how makeout seshes end up feeling like dental cleaning. How to be a good kisser? Start off small and slow, and only #turnup if you feel like it’s right. Oh, you’ll know.

9. Good kissers ARE ANTI-HICKEY.

Question: Who thought it’d be sexy to literally be a mouth vacuum? Oh, no one? GREAT — then we’re officially retiring The Hickey. Be nice to Bae’s neck: Small kisses down from the jaw or gentle lip-brushes FTW.

10. Good kissers know that lips-only are for basics.

  • Under the jawbone.
  • Soft spot behind the earlobe.
  • The UGH-so-cute little dip in the collarbone.
  • Tip of the nose.
  • Inside the wrist.
  • Forehead.
  • Shoulder.
  • CLOSED EYELID. #THEPOSSIBILITIES.

Give the both of you a second to mouth-breathe again and freakin’ explore!

Megan Tatem

11. Good kissers take the long route.

Consider this a Google Maps for your meggouts:

1. Start at the lips, kissing (NO TONGUE) gently down towards the chin, then all along the jawbone, towards the ear. From here, give their earlobe a little nip, or whisper softly … “So when are we getting Chipotle?” (Optional.)

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

2. Sneak up on bae from behind and kiss from the top of their shoulder, along the curve towards their ear. (And again, The Optional Whisper: “I want to eat an entire pizza with you.”)

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

3. Gently kiss down the forehead, starting at the hairline, along the slope of the nose, ending at the lips. Congrats: You’re now so *goddamn cute.*

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

12. Good kissers can make PDA not-obnoxious.

Bae will def appreciate the sneak-attack smooch:

  • Facing each other on the bus? BOOM, tip-of-the-nose.
  • Approaching them while they’re sitting? BOOM, forehead.
  • Strolling along, holding hands? BOOM, knuckle-peck.
  • Are you vertically challenged and only come up to their shoulder? BOOM, shoulder smooch.
  • Netflix + chilling? BOOM, inside-of-the-wrist lip-graze. (Careful. Tickles.)

13. Good kissers can keep their tongue in check.

First Rule of Tongue: USE SPARINGLY. Start off by just finding their tongue with the tip of yours — almost like a gentle tongue fist-bump — then pull back. Try grazing past the tip of their tongue — then pull back. Circle the tip of their tongue — then pull back. (Drool and breath and blegh happens when you don’t pull back.)

When you’re feeling up for it, you can try running your tongue just along the inside of their upper lip, or pull a quick lick under their top lip in a sort of come-here/teeny-ice-cream-cone maneuver.

14. Good kissers don’t nibble. Anything. EVER.

I’m sorry — the thought of someone “nibbling” on my lip the way I legitimately nibble on straws and pen caps and beef jerky GIVES ME THE ABSOLUTE FEAR. Why do we still tell each other to nibble?! Good teeth action starts with taking bae’s bottom lip between your front teeth, giving a gentle tug, and letting go.

15. Good kissers play with the pre-game.

Before kissing, lean in and swipe your lips past theirs, slowly and lightly, then pull back. Take a one-two pause to bask in Bae’s “OMG WTF I NEED YOUR FACE” reaction before going in for the kill. And for those feeling sass-tastic: If you’ve taken a break and are getting ready to lean back in, build up some anticipation by pulling back a half-inch and smiling, like Not yet, sucker — Deal With It.” Proceed with makeout as scheduled. #sorryneversorry

16. “But what do I do with my hands?!” you ask.

Both on either side of their head — with plans to slide back into their hair.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

One on their lower back, and one behind the neck (can also venture into Hair Land).

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

Both hands lightly resting on their chest.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

Both hands on hips, which can sneak around their lower back to squeeze.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

One hand taking a selfie. (JK – just making sure you’re still paying attention.) (But we’d be super impressed if you could pull it off, JS.)

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

One or both hands pulling on the neck of their shirt a little bit, towards you.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

A few fingers up and down their spine, down the nape of their neck, or hovering around their cheeks and jaw.

Megan Tatem/Crystal Law

17. Good kissers can manage bad kissers like a pro.

Pause an aggressive kisser by leaning back, putting a hand gently on their collarbone, and approaching v e r y s l o w l y — almost like saying, “Chill. Take it down 4 notches. Like this.” Reroute an overly acrobatic kisser by pulling back, just enough so you can whisper, and say, “I like kissing you like this.” Proceed with what you’d want done to you. (Pray that they’ve read this article and know how to mirror.)

18. Good kissers mix it up.

Just because you kiss your bae one way doesn’t mean you can’t mix things up. Surprise can bet such an exciting element of kissing. Maybe you mix it up from trying no tongue to trying a little more tongue to backing off on the tongue. Feel out the mood to see what kind of kiss would be best.

19. Good kissers know that kissing isn’t everything.

Kissing is AMAZING, but there are so many other ways to show affection. Hold your bae’s hand or kiss their hand even. Say something unexpected and sweet in your crush’s ear. Get them a little surprise gift for no reason at all. Kissing helps to build romance, but there are so many things that keep that fire alive.

20. Good kissers always keep their eyes closed.

Seriously, there’s no reason to have your eyes open while you’re making out! It just makes things super awkward and kind of kills the mood.

 

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The Custom of Kissing Under the Mistletoe

The custom of kissing under the mistletoe could possibly be related to a Scandinavian goddess.  Frigga, the goddess of love, marriage, and destiny in Norse mythology, is strongly associated with mistletoe, which has been used as a decoration in homes for thousands of years.

According to Scandinavian legend, the god Balder the Beautiful was killed by a spear of mistletoe and his grieving mother Frigg, who banished the plant to the top of trees.  When Balder came back to life, Frigg made mistletoe a symbol of love.

In Brittany, France, the plant is known as Herbe de la Croix because it is thought that Christ’s cross was made of mistletoe wood.

Mistletoe is associated with many pagan rituals. In fact, the Christian church disliked the plant so much, thanks to its pagan associations, that it forbade its use in any form.  Some English churches continued this ban as late as the 20th century. Druids believed mistletoe growing on oak trees was the most sacred form of the plant and that it offered protection from all evil, as well as being the source of much magic.

The early Christian church banned this use of mistletoe because of its association with Druids. The mystery of the mistletoe’s method of reproduction led many people to link the plant with spontaneous generation, fertility and aphrodisiacs. In medieval times, women wishing to conceive would wrap mistletoe around their waists and wrists to increase their fertility.

Holly became a Christian substitute for mistletoe, which is why we ‘deck the halls’ with it. The sharply pointed leaves in holly were supposed to symbolize the thorns in Christ’s crown and the red berries were to symbolize his blood.

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice – Kissing Etiquette Tips

Proper kissing etiquette will make sure that you make the perfect impression with your partner. Kissing is such a sensual act and it is critical to get it right.  Use these tips to make it a moment to remember.

Some people get stuck in the mindset that the best place for the first kiss is the doorstep. This is all based on society’s portrayal of dating. The best place for kissing is wherever it happens naturally. If the right moment is in the elevator, in the car, or in a movie, the kiss will be far more memorable when you follow your instincts.

How do you know if the other person is ready to kiss or not? A lot of it has to do with their body language. If the person isn’t facing you or avoiding to look you in the eyes, there is a good chance that they do not want to kiss.

The same is also true if they have their lips clamped tight. That is a signal that you should take to mean that you are not going to break through that defense.

The approach of the kiss is also an important part of this process. Imagine that the kiss approach is like landing an airplane. If done the wrong way, there is a going to be a crash landing!

One of the worst ways to come in for the approach is to have an open mouth or tongue out. This is a huge turn off. It usually leaves the other person with bad impression and is not proper kiss etiquette.

It is best to have the lips closed but not in a pucker before you land. That is similar to flying the plane with the landing gear down. It just isn’t functional and looks silly. In this case, being silly is not the goal you want to achieve.

Be very aware of your breath. This is not only true for your first kiss, but even kisses with your partner or spouse. No one likes the onion or garlic kiss.

I also know many people who say that smokers are not very aware of kissing etiquette. I have heard people say that kissing a smoker is like kissing an ashtray. I don’t know if that is true or not, but it certainly cannot be pleasant.

The best remedy for your breath is to have gum, or mints. Mints are even better because then there is not an obstacle in your mouth if the kiss goes beyond just a little peck.

Kissing is best when you match the speed and pace of the person kissing. You do not need to go straight to the back of the throat when kissing. In fact, many people will find this gross.

Be very aware of your saliva when kissing. A little wet is nice and pleasurable, but with anything, it can go too far. If either of you have to wipe your mouth after the kiss, then it was a little too much.

Most of all, enjoy the moment and go with the flow. The best kisses are the ones that are unplanned, sweet, and surprising. These tips on kissing etiquette will help you get the best experience possible.

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject!

 

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Cherie – Chapter 5 – Be Careful What You Wish For – Part I

Don’t be a guy.

Be a man.

Saturday arrived. I woke up relatively early. Philly had periods of showers but the rain was supposed to stop around 1pm, so that was good. I didn’t want another rainy day date with Cherie. But actually I was looking forward to seeing her so the weather didn’t really matter.

I stopped by the salon to drop off some detergent and bring my friend Trish some fives for the register. She was hung over from a night of Jameson at Tattooed Mom’s with her friends on South Street. She stopped drinking alcohol about a year ago, because she said she didn’t like how she behaved on it. Said it made her angry. Trish is angry anyway and I can only imagine what a nightmare she is on booze. That’s probably part of the reason she can’t function without smoking marijuana everyday and drinking oceans of coffee just to get through the day. I’ll be writing a chapter about her in the near future but for now I’ll stick to the events of today.

I give Trish the fives and she hands me a twenty out of the register. I’m walking across the lobby to take a seat and chat with her for a bit when she says. You have a hole in the back of your pants. I’m like, “Stop checking out my sweet ass.”

“Seriously dude. You have a huge hole in your pants. Don’t you feel that?”

I reach back and sure enough, there is a pretty good-sized hole there.

“I didn’t want you going out on your date today with a big old hole in your pants, dude.”

I joke that maybe I could guide Cherie’s hand to it in the movie theater for some cheap thrills.

“It’s the 3rd date!”

“I hate that shit!”

I tell her I agree. I don’t know if you all know this but a lot of young people are under the impression that the 3rd date equals sex. Which I find stupid. In all seriousness I would rather get to know someone and if there is a mutual attraction, the sex should just happen as a celebration at some point. There should never be a deadline related to intercourse. That almost sounds predatory.

So I head back to my apartment to put on another pair of jeans. I grab a pair and realize I haven’t worn them in a while. Like two years. They are a 36 waist. I now wear a 32 waist, but can do a 34 with a belt. They’re just too big and I look ridiculous. I grab another pair. Another hole in the seat. What’s going on here? Did I wear out the seat of two pair of jeans? I know I see the occasional mouse here in the building but what sort of butt munching rodents do we have around here?

I find a pair that are in decent shape with no holes in the seat, and put them on. This will have to do. I go downstairs and summon an UBER. While driving down to Columbus Boulevard to the multiplex, I chat with my driver, Hanna. She asks me what movie I’m going to see. I tell her the lady I’m taking likes scary movies, so we’re seeing, ‘Ouija: Origin of Evil.’ Some how she gathers from our conversation that my date is younger than me. She asks, and I tell her she’s a little younger. She tells me about a male friend of hers, who is 50 something and was dating a woman in her 40’s and just wasn’t happy. He said that women his age were all carrying all the same baggage. He’s now dating a woman around 30 and says that younger women are just more fun. I say that I agree, but when you date younger women they all eventually want to get married and have kids.  She says that her friend is always up front about that sort of thing. Maybe I should have been clear about that in my last 3 failed relationships. And here I am being driven to what could possibly be a 4th similar destination.

She lets me out and I go into the lobby and get in line for tickets. The movie starts at 1:50 and it is now 1:30. I get the tickets and as I turn to wait for Cherie, she appears. On time. Early. I like that. It’s really nice to see her. Even though it’s only been four days since our last encounter.

Her hair is up in a bun, exposing her lovely slender neck. makes me think about how I kissed that neck on Tuesday. She’s wearing a yellow blouse, and light brown slacks. They cling to her shapely legs.

We are about to enter our auditorium and we notice the floor is really sticky. Someone must have spilled a soda there, and they tried to mop it up but didn’t get it all up. Now I’ve been to plenty of movie theaters in my time, and have jokes about the sticky stuff and detritus that is on the floor of the theaters, but this was really sticky. I had to laugh out loud. I practically had to curl my toes to keep my shoes from being pulled off by that sticky floor. Just a classic ‘out at the movies’ moment.

We go in and decide that we both like to sit in the back of the theater. I ask her if she wants anything to eat. I suggest some delicious buttery popcorn. She says it’s ok but doesn’t like how it can stick in your teeth. She says she likes chocolate, but not dark chocolate. I tell her I love dark chocolate. She smiles and knows what I mean. I really do prefer dark chocolate to milk chocolate, but I also love the color of her skin. I go and mortgage my house at the concession stand on exorbitantly expensive snacks. Medium popcorn, medium cherry coke, bottle of water, and a bag of snickers minis for baby. $21. The food was as much as the tickets. The kid behind the counter even told me I could upgrade to a large popcorn and a large soda for $.50 more. I compliment him on his up-sell, but politely decline.

I get back to Cherie. I get all of our snacks and drinks squared away and sit down. “How did you know I loved Snickers?” she asks. “Well I’m funny and you like to laugh, so I figured, Snickers. she smiles and we settle into the previews. There aren’t many people in the theater. I like that. There’s also no late arrivals and no one is sitting in front of us. I love that as well. People are getting seated and chattering a little but that’s acceptable during the previews. We’re whispering closely. Then we kiss. It’s really nice. I feel like a teenager. I haven’t smooched in a movie theater in years. It was so sweet to hold hands too. She rubbed my arm and caressed my hand, and I was even so bold as to rub her leg and knee. It was all very gentle and romantic. What a refreshing difference from the crap women I went on dates with a few months ago. But I’m really enjoying this elegant romantic odyssey.

There is one rub that I have to mention. It’s happened a few times since then. We call it the C-Block, or the CBs. Cherie and I are in the very back row of the theater. All the way in the aisle to the right against the wall. There is only one way out. Doesn’t some pair of fucknuts sit at the very end of the aisle? This couple just sort of drops it there. One row down would have been fine. But they are right now, in OUR aisle. They could have sat anywhere. There weren’t that many people in the theater. It’s just a human thing. Homo Sapiens are such social animals they have to be together all the time. I can tell Cherie doesn’t want them there and neither do I. But there’s nothing we can do. Nothing but make a bunch of trips to the snack bar and the bathrooms. This way we can thrust our delicious firm buttocks right in their stupid faces.

Oh, never mind. It’s just annoying, we just wanted some private time to neck in the back of the theater!

The movie was a pretty by the numbers horror flick. I’d give it a solid three and a half stars. Demon possession, scary children, and good sudden frights do make you jump. We shared the popcorn and the candy. It was lovely. I was happy to be there sharing this Halloween treat with her.

After the film, we went outside. The sun was out and the rain was gone. It had been warm during the week, but had suddenly turned chilly in the last couple of days. Cherie always has trouble finding a place to park in the city, but down by the movie theater there is always loads of parking spots. We walk over to her Saab, and hop in to get out of the chill. We’re chatting about our next move, (which I have already planned) and more kissing ensues. She tells me she was hoping I would agree to sit in the back of the theater so we could neck. It appears this girl really likes me. She says she likes how soft my hands are. It makes me think of Captain Quint when he grabs Matt Hooper’s hands in the film Jaws, and says “You’ve got city hands, Mr. Hooper, from counting money all your life!” That, and the scene in Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men” when one of the men on the farm puts petroleum jelly in his one glove to keep is hand soft for when he touches his woman. I don’t know why my mind flashed to those two images but for a moment they do.

I suggest we go over to Dave and Buster’s to go play games together. She likes the idea. I will say this about my lovely neuroscience major. She is very bright and quick of wit, but extremely laid back and easy-going. She’s from California, and this chick is chill. I always compliment her about her sweet disposition, because I really like that about her. Peaceful is good. She tells me, that between her two jobs, going to class, and taking care of her son, she has to make many decisions every day. She says she likes how I take charge, and just tell her where we’re going and what time it’s happening. I always have a plan and take the lead. She finds that attractive. So take note male readers, many women like to be told what you’re doing with them and where you’re taking them. Women are great negotiators and communicators, but when it comes to picking a lunch spot, just tell them pizza or sushi or just take them somewhere they serve different stuff and go. I have to give thanks here to my late father in regard to the clock. If he told you something was going to happen, or we were going to be somewhere at a specific time, it happened without error. He taught me that your word is your bond, and always be punctual. Like Beau Bridges says to Michelle Pfieffer in The Fabulous Baker Boys, “Punctuality is the first rule of show business.” Life itself is like a giant long series. You’re the star of your own show. Make it a fun, exciting show if you can. To sum up: Girls like a take-charge man.

Don’t be a guy.

Be a man.

 

 

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Annabelle – Chapter 9 -Matyson

“I’m like twenty-six, and you’re fifty-one.”

I noticed something strange when I looked at Annabelle’s Facebook. It suddenly said that she was in a relationship with some guy. I looked at the guy’s Facebook and the only photo was just a pair of weird hands holding a cat. I remember not being upset about it, because the dude seemed like some kind of weirdo. But I did need to find out what was going on before I invested anymore time into this girl.

There was a restaurant that I used to love at 20th and Chestnut called Matyson. I went there years ago with my ex, Michelle. (See Michelle – 2007 to Present – A Brand New Day) Normally I don’t want to go to a restaurant that doesn’t serve drinks, but Matyson has exceptional food, and that’s where the focus lies. When I brought Michelle there I just brought a bottle of wine.

After my wonderful experience at Matyson with Michelle, I always associated the place with love. So having recently fallen for Annabelle, I figured I had to take her there for dinner. She’s a pescatarian, and they have some amazing seafood dishes. She loves to eat and I knew she would love it.

I made the reservation, and asked for a quiet table. I cruised by the place and they weren’t open yet. I headed to the liquor store to pick up some wine. I got a white and a red, just in case she wanted either. I return to the restaurant and Annabelle is already there. I tell her it’s a BYOB and that’s why I have the wine. We go in and the hostess seats us in the back. I had asked for a quiet table on my reservation and that’s what I got. It’s early and the place will probably fill up and get noisy, but until then, we’re good.

We’re chatting and they open the wine as we’re looking at the menu. I don’t remember what she ordered but I know I got the swordfish and it was terrific. Every time I’ve eaten at Matyson the food was always amazing. You could always find something exotic on the menu as well. Sweet breads, escargot, etc.

So the dinner goes well, and we’re done. I can’t remember if we had dessert, but we probably did, because Annabelle likes treats. I suggest we do a picture for posterity. When really all I want it for is to document us together and put it on Facebook. Back then I loved to show off all the places I went and all of the people I was hanging out with. I realize now that most people’s social media is just the greatest hits of their lives. I think if you could see the day in and day out it would be pretty boring. But back then I was just happy that I was going on dates with this younger woman and wanted the world to know. It all seems so silly to me now.

So she comes from around her side of the table and sits next to me.

“Ooh… This is where I want to be!” she exclaims.

I’m actually surprised. For some reason I just couldn’t get a good read on this one. With my last girlfriend Michelle, I knew she liked me because we were always getting drunk and attacking each other. With Annabelle it’s been a long slow promise. I mean, I know these younger girls aren’t very sure of themselves, but it’s taking a bit of time. They take the picture and I’m happy with the result.

“This is really great Annabelle.”

“Yea, it is. (sighs) You’re a tough one.”

“Tough? I’m not tough.”

“I REALLY like you.”

“I really like you too, Annabelle.”

“I’m like twenty-six, and you’re like fifty-one.”

“You’re twenty-seven now, and age is but a number my dear.” (I didn’t say that, but something like that.)

“I’m kinda seeing someone.”

That’s when I literally felt this searing pain spread from my heart outward. It was actually like a fire that suddenly flashed across my chest. “Oh….” I think she could sense my pain. Maybe she was afraid to hurt me, but didn’t know what she wanted.

We left the restaurant and were walking towards Rittenhouse square. She started to say she didn’t really like this guy and feels that it will end soon. I had to seize the moment and show my alpha dominance.

“Well normally, when I have a presence in a woman’s life, those sort of problems just work themselves out.”

“Yea, you’re probably right. I don’t really like him”

I don’t know who this clown is, and frankly I don’t care. But I want this girl, and I will win. I’ve won before. (Even if it was only temporary!)

But in hindsight as I write this, I should bear in mind a word of caution. Is this what Annabelle does? Does she like most girl in their twenties, simply leap from guy to guy? By doing that, you never fully experience the loss of a lover. You simply discard him when you’re tired of him or have discovered a new place in which to land. It’s a wicked cycle. I could someday be on the receiving end of what’s about to happen this other guy.

We’re walking down 18th street and I ask her if she’d like to see the batcave. She agrees. It’s only around the corner. I take her in and the first thing she sees is the mini lights I have strung around the french doors that lead to my veranda. I have them on a timer and it looks really cool and illuminates the living room just enough. We sit on the couch and I ask her if she wants some wine. I pour her a glass and fix myself a vodka and tonic. I put on some chill music and we just hang out.

“Is that a working fireplace?”

“Absolutely, and it’s awesome on cold winter nights here.”

There’s some smooching and light making out. I think I’m all good here. I don’t have to worry about a thing. She really likes me, and hasn’t felt this way before and is a little confused. It’ll be fine.

Eventually, she actually falls asleep in my arms. I just remain still and sip my drink listening to the music.

I’m happy. Annabelle is with me at my house. Things are moving forward. I’m falling in love with her if I haven’t already.

She wakes up about twenty minutes later.

“Was I asleep?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Wow. That’s never happened before.”

“Sure, you’ve fallen asleep plenty of times!”

“No I mean, I’ve never been on a date with a guy and I’m so comfortable early on that I can just fall asleep next to him.”

“Get used to it.”

She smiles, “I should probably get going, I have an early shoot tomorrow. Can I use your restroom?”

“Absolutely. Through there and then make a right. I’ll call a car for you.”

“You’re funny.”

We walk outside and she says that she’ll see if she can get cab. I tell her to wait. She looks puzzled. A black Lincoln pulls up and stops. I tell her to get in and they’ll take her home. This is when UBER was really new in the Philadelphia market. Back in 2013 it was still an exclusive service. They were one of my accounts and I had a $600 credit with them!

The car pulls away and I go back in the house. I’m in my chair sipping a drink and smoking a cig. My phone pings.

“Thank you for a lovely evening, and this limo ride home! I feel SO special!”

“That’s because you ARE special, Annabelle.”

 

 

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Clarice – Chapter 1 -The CEO

Another tale of one man’s journey navigating his way through the dating scene in Philadelphia.

I met Clarice on Tinder. She is an attractive sixty-one year old black woman. You read that correctly. Clarice is the CEO and Chief Strategist of her own consulting firm. They develop effective marketing campaigns for non profits. she attended the Academy of Vocal Arts at Indiana University. her profile says she is curious, creative, impatient, inspired and passionate. She states that “Life is too short to be colorless, wishy-washy or indecisive.” She goes on to say, “If that’s your definition of feminine, then I’m just not that girl.” She’s not interested in hook ups, she’s looking for a meaningful relationship. “I know what I like, I know who I am, and what I can and cannot do.”

Well, let’s find out about all of that.

I asked her what I ask all of my matches on Tinder. “What prompted you to swipe right on my profile?”

“You have a friendly face! Sometimes it’s that simple.”

“Thank you for that Clarice, I like yours too!”

“Then perhaps we should meet face-to-face so that we can share our mutual admiration over a glass of wine…?

She gets right to the point. I like that.

We texted on tinder for a short time and I relinquished my number. She did the same, and we kept the conversation going that way. But it didn’t last long. I locked down a date and it was on.

We decided to meet at the Italian restaurant, Panorama. Clarice actually chose the place. The wine bar at Panorama is one of the premier Philadelphia wine bars, located in the heart of Old City at Penn’s View Hotel. Panorama is home to the largest wine preservation and dispensing system in the world as declared by The Guinness Book of World Records, no other Philadelphia hotel or restaurant offers such a selection. They have one hundred and twenty wine taps!

I hopped on the bus at 16th and Market street and rode it all the way to Front Street in Old City. Penn’s View Hotel is practically right there. I walk in and scan the room. The place looks like they remodeled it a bit. I look down the bar and there is the only black woman in the restaurant, so I head over. Clarice only had one photo on her profile, and she sort of looked stern in it. But I’m pretty sure it’s her. I greet her and get out of my coat and scarf.

I sit and we decide on what we’re going to drink. She says we should try one of their signature Panoramic Flights — a personal wine tasting offering a sampling of five different wines within a select group – from a selection of over 2 dozen fun and provocative themes. I’m okay with that. There are five in a flight. I’ll be interested to see who gets the odd glass. She wants food too. She says if she gets the mushrooms would I eat any of them and I tell her I won’t. But I tell her I’ll try them. I’m just not a fan of mushrooms.

We’re sharing the wine flight…sort of. She chooses one, and then I choose one. I taste hers, she tastes mine, and that’s it. The mushrooms come and whatever they did to prepare them, they did well. The shrooms taste pretty good. Then she gets bread. For a skinny chick she sure likes to eat.

She really is a lovely woman. Slender, delicate features. High cheekbones. wears her make up well. She’s glamorous and fashionable. Looks like money. I love her wrists and fingers. delicate and dainty. I would like to see what those legs look like, but this is our first date.

I run the program and she’s laughing and giggling like a schoolgirl. I can tell she’s bored with these other losers. Phicklephilly is the man for the job. She tells me she was with a man for ten years. married to him for five of them. She’s been divorced for thirty years! So she has basically been single all through her thirties, forties, and fifties! But she does say she was engaged to a Jewish guy for a while but that didn’t work out. She formerly was an opera singer. (I thought I saw a little diva in there) She has no children (Double bonus: No kids and too old to have any!) Like me, both parents are dead. She has one brother, whom she says has a shitty wife. There is no other family.

We sip our way through the next two glasses on our wine flight. Only one glass left after this round!

I can tell the date is going well and she is laughing and feeling refreshed to be around a man such as myself. She says she finds so many men boring. This was a Monday night. She says she has another date Wednesday, and one on Friday. I appreciate her honesty, but could care less who else she goes out with. Because when Led Zeppelin goes on first, those other bands should just cancel their tour and go back to their garage. I can tell she really likes me. One third through the date, she asks if I want to go see Rogue One with her on saturday. I tell her yes! Why not, she’s Pam Grier hot. Looks like she’s in her forties. Then she tells me she likes country music and I tell her that maybe we should start seeing other people. (Because I don’t like country music) she laughs, and thinks I’m a riot.

Final glass of wine, and guess who snags it. Yep. Clarice!

She picked the place, the wine, the food, set up the next date, and now the final glass of wine is hers. No wonder this lady is alone. Most men can’t handle a woman this aggressive, confident, and controlling. But I’m not other men. I’ll let this fish take the line out a bit and tire herself out. Then I’ll slowly and methodically reel her in, gaff her, and bring her aboard.

The bill comes and lo and behold,  I can’t tell you what Clarice’s wallet looks like, because it never came out. I help her on with her coat and we’re off. She’s taking the Market street subway line back out to Upper Darby. I can ride with her to 13th street because I’m going to Time (whiskey and jazz bar) on Sansom of our annual toy drive for the kids in the hospital at Children’s Hospital. I’m sitting next to her on the train, and I say to her, “I probably should have kissed you when I had the chance.”

“We are not doing any PDA (public displays of affection) on this train.” she quips.

I laugh and get it. There is a black girl across from me looking me right in the eye. I can’t have everybody giving her the gas face when I get off the train. I hop off at 13th and tell her I’ll see her Saturday for the new Star Wars movie!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at 9am EST.

 

Eliana – Part 1 – Third Time’s the Charm

Another tale of one man’s journey navigating his way through the dating scene in Philadelphia.

I met Eliana on Tinder. She is a very cute Filipino girl. Pretty, early thirties, fine boned with lovely slender legs. But she is very busty. That is rare for women of Asian origin. But if you ask her she will say she is Pacific Rim, not Asian.

We chatted for a bit on Tinder and then we decided to meet. She is a chef, so she works a lot of odd hours. We tried to figure it out between our schedules, but it was a struggle. She seemed nice and ready to date. I liked her.

She met her husband when he was in the military. He clipped her young and married her. He is of Austrian origin. Western European. He probably wanted her because she was sexy, exotic and young. She has a son who works as a flight attendant (probably gay) and a daughter who works in pharmaceuticals. I’ve seen pictures and her son is a nice looking boy and her daughter is smoking hot. Filipino and Austrian makes very good-looking girls.

They made those kids right away so it must have meant that the sex was fire. She cracked them off a year apart. They were married for a while. Her son lives with her out in Westchester. Her daughter is in college in California. She said her ex-husband is an asshole that eventually became verbally abusive. Eliana seems very sweet so I figure it’s his personality flaw not hers. Normally that is the case. Probably a military narcissist and she eventually became not good enough for him. They lived in Florida back then. The daughter is the little princess in dad’s eyes and can do no wrong. Eliana describes her as the spoiled brat. Dad probably loves her because she looks more like his side of the family. The son doesn’t like his father and says he’s an asshole just like mom. I figure military dad doesn’t like his son because he think’s a gay kid couldn’t have come from him and it’s mom’s fault. (Just speculating)

We scheduled a date to meet for lunch in the city. She has a brilliant car. it’s a Chevy Volt. Mad technology. But she’s afraid to drive into the city. She doesn’t know the city well and she says she’s not good at parallel parking. Typical Asian chick. (Sorry) We made a date and then I bailed because I had a cold. I was sniffing and sneezing and mostly coughing all of October 2016. She didn’t like that but I stayed in touch with her because she seemed nice. She was patient and forgiving, and understood.

We were supposed to meet up again. It was a Thursday. My partner Achilles at the salon got sick and asked if I would run the salon from 10am to 8pm. That’s a long day but I don’t mind it. It’s a fun job and I get to chat with the ladies and write this blog. So I had to bail again.

I could tell she was perturbed and my credibility was slipping. She had been in a shitty marriage, then she dated a guy for a few years and he was crap too. Apparently he was verbally abusive too. Her son is very protective of his mother. He always advises her on these losers. But he told her she needed to get out there and date again. I haven’t met him but I like this kid.

His mom is hot and she needs to meet a nice man.

So finally I make another date with her. Some time had passed and I didn’t know if she would be still interested. But she was and I begged her to meet me again in Philly again. She told me her son had told her to take the train. He knows she’s not good with navigating center city and the whole parking thing. That’s a challenge for anybody I know coming into the city. Finding a spot is hell and the parking authority is a vicious bunch of robbers. I swear they must be paid some sort of commission for ticketing cars because I have never met a more motivated team of employees that will run down every expired car in the city to write them a ticket. Who would want to do that job? “How was your day, honey?” “Good. I hurt every person I touched.”

She agreed to meet me and I told her to come to Racheal’s my favorite breakfast spot. It was afternoon but they make deadly sandwiches and I figured it would be quiet spot we could chat. The owner and staff know me so it would be a safe haven.

She parks in a lot and arrives on time. I wasn’t even there. Apparently she can get down here in 30 minutes. Good to know. Normally I am at the spot waiting for the girl but she is there wondering where I am. I’m sure she is already apprehensive because I ditched two times before.

I scamper from my apartment and head through Rittenhouse Square. I get there and she is there waiting for me. She is wearing a long coat, but she is wearing a light dress. We meet and she is sweet and beautiful. She looks like her pics, which are very close to the stock photo I have posted here.

She says since she is from the Philippines and lived in Florida so she owns a lot of light clothing. I ask her if she’s cold and she says no. Her ample bosom is very visible and I assume she is sending me a message. Her breasts are beautiful and she is really showing them off. Her dress is low-cut and they are very visible, which is distracting but lovely. I’m a leg man but they are tantalizing.

She is wearing boots but I can see that her legs are well turned and nice. She looks good. She seems really comfortable with her body and her sexuality. That could work.

I ask her if she wants anything to eat and she says no. I suggest we walk in the park. Rittenhouse is beautiful this time of year. The crews are busy putting up all of the Christmas lights and the tree. We walk through the park and chat. We get to know each other. I like her. There is something about her that gives me a sexual charge. Most women I meet don’t do that for me. But this one has a certain something. I can’t tell what it is. It’s not that I can’t tell, I just don’t know why I want her that way. She just exudes a certain sexuality. Maybe that’s what pulled her husband in. I totally get why he fell for her, because she has that thing.

She is distant a little bit. She talks and is social but keeps her physical distance from me. I find that confounding but I like it. It makes me want to reach for her more. We walk the park and get to know each other. She thinks I’m not that into her but I am. She says things like,  “You want to run away from me but I don’t.”

Sounds like rejection and esteem issues. Dismantle it before it’s begun. (Red Flag)

I think this is a sweet woman who has been hurt by a few losers and is gun-shy. Being around her I get a good vibe. I think she is very sexual. I have dated a lot on this odyssey and many of the women I have met give off a zero sexuality vibe. That’s probably why they are alone. Eliana has just chosen to lock herself away to protect her heart for a while. I may have the key to that lock.

Like any good sword fight in the park there is always a good thrust and parry, as my father would say, and I can feel there’s chemistry.

It’s windy and cold. The leaves dance around our feet in Rittenhouse Square.  My island girl doesn’t like the cold but says she is always warm. But the December day is taking her. I pull her close and kiss her. She pecks me back. I know she wants more but she’s guarded. That’s okay. I’m a very patient man.

We head back to Rachael’s. They must think I’m a gigalo. But I love that place and they are good at keeping my secrets. It’s warm in there and we sit at a table in the back.  We look at the menu and decide to get some food. They won’t come to the table, you have to go to the counter. She wants the ham sandwich, I go with the roast beef. She asks what the difference is between imported ham and domestic ham. The chef says the imported ham is more expensive but he doesn’t know where it’s imported from. I find this annoying but at the same time I want to know the answer. I vow to find out what the difference is. I know domestic is round and imported is rectangle but that’s all. It’s really funny. No one in my life has ever asked that question. But someone should have.

While I was ordering she was rubbing my back. It was distracting but I know this babe is electric and likes me.

We eat our sandwiches and they are terrific. Normally Rachael’s is my Saturday breakfast go to but these sandwiches are slamming. She is happy and grateful. I like her and she turns me on. It took awhile but we finally met. Many of the women I have met on the dating scene are incredible bores but she’s fun and sexy.

I walk her to her car and we sit in the vehicle for a moment to warm up. We kiss. I kiss her again. I can tell she is holding back to protect her heart. But I kissed her more and she became a little more passionate.

Eliana is a great lady. She is a hard-working self-made woman I respect. I want to see her again.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at 9am EST.