How to Know if Someone Is Thinking about You Sexually & Desires You

You like them, but you’re unsure how they feel about you. Do they see you as a friend only? This is how to know if someone is thinking about you sexually.

Advertisements

You’ve met someone that you can’t take your eyes off of, but you’re not sure how they feel about you. Figuring out how to know if someone is thinking about you sexually will help you plan your next steps. If you don’t know, it can be a little bit of a problem, especially if you want to take the next step forward.

You’re sitting here with all these feelings and emotions coursing through you. You have butterflies when you see them, and your mind goes blank when they talk to you. We all experience these nerves around someone we really like.

The question is, are these feelings reciprocated? Or are you the only one who’s feeling this? It’s a good question to ask, and something to figure out for your own peace of mind.

How to know if someone is thinking about you sexually

So, how do you know if someone is thinking about you sexually? Not all of us want to wait around to see. Many of us are impatient and need some hint that our feelings aren’t one-sided. So, it’s time we figured this out. Because, if you’re like me, the waiting and anticipation are killing you.

The good thing is sexual attraction can’t be faked. If the signs match up, then it’s probably true that they think about you sexually. This is good news, right? Right! So, let’s get started. Seriously, it’s time to know.

#1 You feel it. What you’re feeling is chemistry. When you’re around them, there’s this feeling that you are more than just friends. If you have a feeling that they’re looking at you in a sexual way, well, don’t doubt yourself so quickly. Your intuition is probably right.

#2 They hang around you. When people are sexually attracted to someone, they stay close to their crush. But by close, I mean close. They want to be in your personal space. This is normal when it comes to sexual attraction. If they’re not into you, they’ll keep a distance from you because they’re not interested.

#3 They’re touchy. I’m not talking in a harassing manner. Whether it’s a woman or man, they love to touch the person they’re into… subtly. Maybe you made a joke, and while laughing, they touched your arm. See, if someone didn’t like you, they wouldn’t touch you. This is a huge sign to determine someone’s thoughts about you. People don’t touch people they don’t like.

#4 Eye contact. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: eye contact is everything. Your eyes can tell someone countless things. If someone likes you sexually, you’ll see it in their eyes. They’ll hold eye contact longer than usual and give you flirty stares. They’ll make sure to check you out whenever possible.

#5 They’re flirting with you. Okay, some people do flirt for fun, but even those people have an underlying attraction to you. People do not flirt with people they’re not interested in. It’s that simple. If they’re flirting with you, they’re trying to build sexual tension and chemistry. This is a great sign that you’re on their mind sexually.

#6 They’re nervous around you. When someone likes you, of course, they’re going to be a little nervous around you. They don’t want to screw it up and ruin their chances with you. Plus, since they want you, they’re trying to calm themselves down and act as normal as possible.

#7 Lip licking. Who would have thought lip licking would be a sign! Even though it’s a subtle act, lip licking is a huge sign they’re sexually attracted to you. Both men and women will instinctively lick their lips when they see someone they like or are thinking about a sexual act.

#8 They try to prolong interactions. When you chat, even though it looks like it’s about to end, they talk more. They don’t want to let you go. It’s cute *but if you really need to go, it can be a little annoying*.

#9 They suggest hanging out alone. Maybe you usually hang out in groups, but recently, they’ve asked to hang out alone with you. Well, this one isn’t rocket science when it comes to figuring out how to know if someone is thinking about you sexually. If someone is thinking about you sexually, they want to hang out with you alone and create a connection, maybe even try to make a move.

#10 They care about their appearance. Before they met you, they weren’t into their appearance. But since you have started hanging out, they’re more fashion-forward. They want to look good for you and impress you. Both women and men want to look their best in front of someone they like sexually. 

#11 They’re all smiles around you. When you hang out, whether alone or with other people, they’re always smiling. Both men and women smile a lot when they’re around someone they’re interested in. I mean, there are a couple of different smiles. You have the “boy/girl next door” smile and then you have the “I want to rip your clothes off” smile. Both are good.

#12 They tell you. If someone tells you they can’t stop thinking about you or you’re always on their mind, it’s not because they think about you as a friend. It’s because they’re sexually attracted to you. They want a chance to make a move. 

#13 There’s a lot of fidgeting. When you’re next to them, they play with their hair, a napkin, scratch their leg. There’s always some fidgeting going on. This isn’t because they’re bored if that’s what you’re thinking. Rather, it’s because they’re sexually attracted to you, and they’re nervous.

#14 Fixing themselves. Whether man or woman, they adjust themselves around you. If it’s a guy, he’ll move his junk around. If it’s a woman, she’ll fix her cleavage or hair. Since they’re sexually attracted to you, they’re nervous about what you think of them. Also, the guy could have a boner. Sorry, just had to say it!

Learning how to know if someone is thinking about you sexually is a little hard to decipher, but by using these signs, you’ll be able to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Advertisements

Annabelle – Chapter 10 – Girlfriend

Oh great, we’re “In a relationship” on Facebook.

I could feel things were moving forward with Annabelle. We would text and Facebook message each other when we were apart. We would send each other songs and it was nice. I could tell she had thrown the switch and I was the man in her life now.

It’s funny when you read Michelle compared to this odyssey with Annabelle. Here we are in chapter 10 and she’s just becoming sort of my girlfriend. When you live something you feel it immediately. But you’re in the movie and you can’t really see the whole show. Because you’re just one of the actors. Then you think about it later, and talk about it to your friends, it’s another layer. But when you write about it, you really can see it clearly, even if you can’t remember all of the dates and moments. I think that’s why therapists ask their patients to keep a journal. Writing lets you stand back from the events of your life and really see it for what it is or was.

Writing these stories has really helped me break the shell of my understanding and bring a calm clarity to my life and the journey itself.

Annabelle was in her 20’s and trying to make her way. I could see she was bitter that her parents had spent $100k on her education in college to go the School for the Arts here in Philly. She wanted to be an actress. Like millions before her she had the dream of being a successful actress. Her sister is an emergency room doctor. Her other sister is a lawyer. Both of then seem nuts and can’t keep a man. Her brother flies helicopters for NATO and lives in Texas. Annabelle’s parents had the money to send her to a good school and do whatever their “weird, artsy daughter” wanted to do. I’ve never met her family, because she said she didn’t want me to meet them because she kind of didn’t like them.

I know… Here it comes. Deep water.

This family is a product of dysfunction. Her father has an amazing job and makes a fortune each year. He’s fat and unhealthy and seems like a miserable person that hates his life. They’re from the south so there is some racism and homophobia in that family as well.

Annabelle has an uncle that she loves who’s gay and the family have basically disowned him because “being a faggot” is against God. What the fuck? I’ve met him and he’s a wonderful man.

Annabelle’s dad was always distant so that makes the daughters over achievers to please dad and never really understand men, and have fucked up relationships, because they were never raised by a man who led by example to send his daughters into tomorrow on a solid straight line.

The son usually ends up moving away and barely talking to the family, because dad’s a dick and mom’s tuned out.

Annabelle’s mother was I assume a trophy wife who lives the rich life. She blows money on all kind of stuff and even shoplifts sometimes for the thrill of it. This is a woman who is profoundly unhappy and thinks the rules don’t apply to rich people. Annabelle actually told me that she said that. She never cooked meals for the kids and all they did was eat take out so they’re sort of like wealthy white trash.

I guess this is where Annabelle learned her eating habits. You know how I feel about this. I’m an elegant dude with killer manners and I was appalled to watch Annabelle wolf her meals down when I was with her. She ate like my buddy Church when he’s stressed out and instead of drinking he stuffs his feeling with chow.

But here we have is this very tall somewhat average girl who just isn’t right for New York or Hollywood. They want a type and she just isn’t it.

A million people go to Hollywood and NYC each year thinking they are going to “make it.” Do you know how hard that is to do? It’s just mostly luck and being in the right place at the right time. I lived in LA and wanted to be a metal god in a rock band. It never happened. I’d probably be dead or a complete asshole had it happened.

Matt Leblanc had $17 in his checking account when he landed the role of Joey Tribbiani on the hit sitcom, Friends. He was broke. By the final season he was being paid $1 million an episode. That is lightning striking.

All of these dancers, writers, actors think their going to make it in these cities and maybe about 9 make it a year. Those are less than Powerball lottery odds.

So all of these failed “artists” are bitter when I tell them I’d like another round of drinks, or that I’m going to need these shirts back from the dry cleaners by Wednesday instead of Thursday.

So they huddle together with all of the other failures in their little circle of people and just do whatever they can. It’s really sad. You have to accept the inevitable and go do something else. I have an outgoing personality, so I went into sales and financial services. I was fine. I can comfortably wrap myself in my memories that I gave it a shot and it just didn’t happen. My father used to say, “if you don’t get something in life, you didn’t want it bad enough.”

Okay that’s total bullshit and something he read somewhere. His brother had a great creative mind but my dad just didn’t. No fault no foul. He was just that guy. But he educated himself with books his whole life. But the problem with that is you become the sum of other people’s experiences and thoughts. Not your own. It makes you sound smart and helps you get ahead in life, but there is no creativity in it. He once gave me the greatest compliment he would ever give me when he saw me play guitar. He said. “I love music but you can actually MAKE music.” That was huge to me. I’ll get into that whole thing in another post series that will publish in 2018.

But what I’m saying is, these failed artist types just aren’t very talent so they all cling together for support. That’s a normal reaction. Showbiz is the only vocation that devours its young. It’s sad, but if you choose that life be prepared to work as a waitress a lot.

When they’re with their failed brethren working on some shitty project or stage play that just suck Royal Canadian moose cock and is painful to watch you feel sorry for them as to how silly it is. It’s a shame. They always use words like “Amazing” to describe the performances of the people around them, and it just isn’t true.

I have been and artist (pen and ink) a musician and a writer. There is nothing AMAZING about any of it. They will say things like, Our musical director and pianist is so AMAZING. No. He’s not. He’s just a bitter asshole who is mean to everyone around him as he plinks away at his piano playing the shitty soundtrack to your play that makes no fucking sense.

He’s not at Carnegie Hall, he’s not selling out the Wells Fargo Center. That’s what he wanted, but it never happened, so he’s stuck with your shitty little troupe to just keep going.

People use the word, AMAZING and AWESOME all of the time now. Everyone is misusing it.

There once was a little boy who at 6 years old his teachers said. “I think something is wrong with your son. He hardly speaks. He is unreachable and unteachable. He’s lost in his world of dreams. That little boy was Albert Einstein. Now that motherfucker was AMAZING.

Little myopic, chubby, homosexual Reginald Dwight struggled in his life. That little boy became Sir Elton John. That man is AWESOME.

See the difference? I know it seems like I’m digressing into something else. My last girlfriend Michelle had her challenges in life but on the ground floor and pound for pound she’s a solid lady.

Annabelle is a handful. I feel love and lust for her, but now she’s picked up a camera and like a thousand other swinging dicks in this city calls herself a photographer. She’s struggling to figure out what she’s going to do with the rest of her life or at leat the next 5 years.

She’s a very juvenile 27-year-old. Michelle had worked in business since college. She’s worked for corporations and been in offices and worked with people in real commerce. Annabelle is a failed actress who is trying to make her way as a photographer taking other shitty actors headshots and shooting people’s weddings. It’s a constant struggle for a person who never worked in a real job and spent her childhood making art in her bedroom. If it was good and she got discover it would be a totally different story, but it’s not. It’s the other side of the coin.

This is what I have gotten myself into. I think I’m in love with her. I feel it. But there is a euphoria that is connected to it that isn’t real. It’s not good. I’ve felt this before but the drug of falling in love is so strong with this one that it’s doing things to me.

I had it with Michelle in the beginning as we all do, but with her it settled down into domesticity. That cools the addiction.

I’m older now and I have turned the clock back once again on a young girl. I’m older now and here I go with another 27-year-old who doesn’t know who she is, what she wants and where she is going. This is the problem dating younger women. It’s a vicious circle that I have repeated many times. Michelle was stable. This one is all over the place. Lost.

A leaf blowing in the wind.

But the drug of love takes me and I’m in it now. We don’t make love, we fuck. Annabelle has sex like she does everything else in her life. Like a fool. We have sex like she eats her food. There isn’t a mutual celebration of us sharing our most intimate vessels in union.

Because if the only tool you have is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.

It’s good. It’s hot. Come on. Even mediocre sex that isn’t what you want is still sex. The fury. The release. Sex is like free beer and pizza but if the pizza is tough and the beer is warm it’s just not the same.

She always had to be working on her photography, because her mind and calendar were unmanageable. But I get it. We’re in different places in our lives. She’s trying to make something. I’m cruising at 51.

There were times she would get so wrapped up in her work that she would come over. I was cooking her a romantic dinner in front of the fireplace. (I’m a deadly cook) She would show up sometimes and say tonight was a work party. That meant that at some point she would be working on her photography stuff. Do that shit at home. Manage your schedule and your work load and be able to turn it off when you’re with a loved one. I can always separate the two. That’s a person. Focus on them tonight.

I quit smoking and it was really easy. I literally stopped buying them. No withdrawal, because I had replaced that addiction with Annabelle. I know I loved her more than she loved me so it was easy. I went from a 36 waist to a 32 waist in 3 months. Yea. I did that for Annabelle.

When somebody really loves you, they love you for you. Period. They dig the person you are right now. But me being in love with the idea of love and not even knowing it was happening to me is a crazy addiction. That was me then.

I am no longer that man. (But still sporting the 32 inch waist, baby!)

I thought this post would be different. My notes said how when she came over and we watched Jurassic Park together. Or how the first time we had sex, I remember looking in her eyes with a sense of teenage nervousness as I slowly slipped her black lace panties down her long slender thighs and having sex with her for the first time. It was great. I was happy to be with her. I was lit the fuck up from being in love with someone.

So the relationship is hot and cold. I’m feeling a little crazy being with Annabelle. That should have been a string of red flags, but like when I started this tome you just can’t see it.

She’d be isolated from me for 10 days at a clip because she was so wrapped up in her stuff. Shoots, working on two plays at a time that were both garbage, and just being a scatter brain. She doesn’t have a good relationship with her dad, but it seems she is very much like him. Just an isolated person that is consumed by whatever she’s working on and to hell with the real people in her life.

She started talking about moving to Belgium out of nowhere and studying animation. (No idea) The next time I saw her (Which was like 3 days later) She said she was going to become a company member of a drag cabaret.  It’s just this one guy that loves to run around in public in a dress, and a few other losers that put on the most godawful shitty musical comedy plays that absolutely blow.

So here I am in love with the idea of love with a girl half my age and I am only feeling three things outside of the sex and dinners.

Frustration, aggravation, and grinding disappointment.

Oh great, we’re “In a relationship” on Facebook.

Fuck. What am I doing?

 

Google the lyrics to this song….

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday at 8am EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly