What Does His Kiss Mean? 9 Types of Kisses Decoded!

I’ve been busy this week with some commercial writing assignments so I’ve gotten some assistance from one of my female readers.

Take it away, Felicia!

Your field guide to the most common lip locks.

There are many different ways to kiss your lover, and knowing how to kiss a guy or girl in certain ways allows you to communicate something different about what or how you’re feeling in the moment, whether you’re making out, making up, or out in public on a date.

But usually, when you’re on the receiving end of any of these types of kisses, it’s hard to channel your inner Jane Goodall and make notes about the experience.

Don’t worry, y’all.

We’ve got you covered with both kissing tips, as well as the scoop on what kisses of different kinds mean.

Here’s a field guide to the major types of kisses, how to kiss a guy or girl like you mean it, and what you’re saying with every smooch.

1. The Peck

Sounds innocent, doesn’t it? But this quick lip-on-lip contact still sends a message.

The primary one?

“I want to kiss you and — hopefully, sometime soon — make out, but it’s early and we’re not there yet, so this peck on the lips is a suggestion that there is to be much more smooching in our future.”

2. The Long Peck

This is a lingering, closed-mouth kiss on the lips. It’s very sensual, yet still somewhat chaste and restrained. It’s how grown-ups say, “We are so about to make out big-time.”

This extended peck is usually followed by a knowing smirk and, sometimes, an audible “mmmm …”

3. The Woodpecker

These are rapid-fire pecks. Playful and cute, these say, “I really like you, a lot, but I don’t want to get myself all worked up right now.”

These kisses convey a lot of affection without allowing things to get too hot and heavy.

It’s also a good option when it comes to PDA. No one wants to watch you swallow each other’s faces while they’re having their morning coffee.

4. The French Kiss

The French kiss is the king of kisses and involves open mouths and some form of tongue interaction.

It’s too complex and nuanced for one description, so we’ve broken it down even further:

  • Standard French Kiss: Moving your open lips against each other with some tongue interplay can be very sweet, very hot, very passionate, or all of the above. This kiss really gets the hormones racing and says, “I would like to sleep with you.”
  • Tongue Tango French Kiss: Ideally an elegant ballet of tongue play, the Tongue Tango occurs when the tips of the tongues push off of each other and twist around. This kiss says “I think outside the box in and out of bed” This kiss, however, is a close relative of the dreaded Lizard Kiss, where tongues dart in a stabbing, lizard-like motion. What’s the lizard saying? “I am a creep.” So be careful.
  • He’s Eating My Mouth French Kiss: This kiss leaves the kissee with what we call a saliva beard. Basically, the kisser opens his or her mouth as wide as possible, rolls their tongue all around and down their partner’s throat, and then, inexplicably, slides it all over their poor partner’s face. This kiss says, “I want you to think I’m really sexual and passionate but in reality, I am totally oblivious to your vibe and will probably stink in bed. Big time.”

5. Love Bites

Getting in a little nip of the lip or neck means “I’m playful,” and might also reveal that you’re not totally opposed to a little bit of pain with your pleasure.

Try not to draw blood, though.

6. I Love You/I Hate You

This one involves a sudden, passionate embrace after bickering.

This kiss is unchoreographed mayhem at its best. It says, “You make me so mad and I can’t stand you but I must have you, and that makes me even madder which makes me want you, even more, damn you!!!”

7. Hard-mouth-closed

This one is featured in many classic films. It occurs when the leading man finally pins down his female nemesis/love interest and plants one on her. It’s often accompanied by a wrist grab so that you don’t push him away, you firebrand!

It says, “I’m going to teach you not to sass me and give me guff, by gum!”

8. Against The Wall

“I want you so bad.”

Although this kiss usually happens spontaneously and in a semi-public setting (e.g. alleyway, bar bathroom, book reading, etc.), you always wish there was a bed nearby that you could collapse into, because — damn it! — this is hot!

9. The Bend Back

Old-fashioned and romantic, he leans into you and bends you backward, often with one hand holding the small of your back, and the other placed gently against the side of your face. Swoony.

This is generally for people who are uber-comfortable with each other, have a sense of humor, and are absolutely crazy about each other.

This kiss says, “Darling, I am yours. Hold onto your petticoats as my white steed approaches to whisk us away to fairy-land.”

Yeah, it’s a fun one.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Why Do We Kiss? Science Explains Why People Kiss To Show Affection

What makes this intimate act so fascinating?

Pecking, smooching, French kissing, and playing tonsil-hockey — there are as many names for kissing as there are ways to do it. Whether we use it as an informal greeting or an intensely romantic gesture, kissing is one of those ingrained human behaviors that seem to defy explanation.

Its many purposes — a blow and peck for good luck on dice, lips to the ground after a rocky boat ride, kisses in the air to an acquaintance, and the long slow smooches of Hollywood — have different meanings yet are similar in nature.

Why is it that we love to pucker up? Why do we kiss at all?

Kissing is more than just showing affection.

Philematologists, the scientists who study kissing, aren’t exactly sure why humans started locking lips in the first place. The most likely theory is that it stems from primate mothers passing along chewed food to their toothless babies.

The lip-to-lip contact may have been passed on through evolution, not only as a necessary means of survival but also as a general way to promote social bonding and as an expression of love.

But something’s obviously happened to kissing since the time of the chewed food pass. Now, it’s believed that kissing helps transfer critical information, rather than just meat bits.

The kissing we associate with romantic courtship may help us to choose a good mate, send chemical signals, and foster long-term relationships. All of this is important in evolution’s ultimate goal — successful procreation.

Kissing allows us to get close enough to a mate to assess essential characteristics about them, none of which we’re consciously processing. Part of this information exchange is most likely facilitated by pheromones, chemical signals that are passed between animals to help send messages.

We know that animals use pheromones to alert their peers of things like mating, food sources, and danger, and researchers hypothesize that pheromones can play a role in human behavior as well.

Although the vomeronasal organs, which are responsible for pheromone detection and brain function in animals, are thought to be vestigial and inactive in humans, research indicates we do communicate with chemicals.

The first study to indicate that chemical signals play a role in attraction was conducted by Claud Wedekind, over a decade ago. Women sniffed the worn t-shirts of men and indicated which shirts smelled best to them.

By comparing the DNA of the women and the men, researchers found that women didn’t just choose their favorite scent randomly. They preferred the scent of a man whose major histocompatibility complex (MHC) — a series of genes involved in our immune system — was different from their own.

Having a different MHC means less immune overlap and a better chance of healthy, robust offspring.

Kissing may be a subtle way for women to assess the immune compatibility of a mate before she invests too much time and energy in him. Perhaps a bad first kiss means more than first date jitters — it could also mean a real lack of chemistry.

Men are sloppy and women are choosy when it comes to kissing.

Behavioral research supports this biological reasoning. In 2007, researchers at the University of Albany studied 1,041 college students and found significant differences in how males and females perceived kissing.

Although common in courtship, females put more importance on kissing, and most would never have sex without kissing first. Men, on the other hand, would have sex without kissing beforehand; they would also have sex with someone who wasn’t a good kisser.

Since females across species are often the choosier ones when it comes to mate selection, these differences in kissing behavior make sense.

Men are also more likely to initiate French kissing, and researchers hypothesize that this is because saliva contains testosterone, which can increase libido.

Researchers also think that men might be able to pick up on a woman’s level of estrogen, which is a predictor of fertility.

Why do people kiss? It’s more than just biological reasons.

But kissing isn’t all mating practicality — it also feels good. That’s because kissing unleashes a host of feel-good chemicals, helping to reduce stress and increase social bonding.

Researcher Wendy Hill and colleagues at Lafayette College looked at how oxytocin, which is involved in pair-bonding and attachment, and cortisol, a stress hormone, changed after people kissed.

Using a small sample of college couples that were in long-term relationships, they found cortisol levels decreased after kissing.

The longer the couples had been in a relationship, the further their levels dropped. Cortisol levels also decreased for the control group — couples that just held hands — indicating that social attachment, in general, can decrease stress levels, not just kissing.

Looking at oxytocin levels, the researchers found that they increased only in the males, whereas the researchers thought it would increase in both sexes.

They hypothesized that it could be that women need more than a kiss to stimulate attachment and bonding, or that the sterile environment of the research lab wasn’t conducive to creating a feeling of attachment.

Kissing, therefore, plays a role not only in mate selection but also in bonding.

At an Association for the Advancement of Science meeting on the science of kissing, Helen Fischer, an evolutionary biologist, posits multiple reasons for lip-locking. She believes that kissing is involved in the three main types of attraction humans have: sex drive, which is ruled by testosterone; romantic love, which is ruled by dopamine and other feel-good hormones; and attachment, which involves bonding chemicals like oxytocin.

Kissing, she postulates, evolved to help on all three fronts.

Saliva, swapped during romantic kisses, has testosterone in it; feel-good chemicals are distributed when we kiss that help fuel romance; and kissing also helps unleash chemicals that promote bonding, which provides for long-term attachment, necessary for raising offspring.

No, not all humans (or species) partake in kissing.

Some mammals have close contact with each others’ faces via licking, grooming, and sniffing, which may transmit the necessary information. And although chimps may pass food from mother to child, the notoriously promiscuous bonobos are apparently the only primates that truly kiss.

And while it’s thought that 90 percent of the human population kisses, there’s still the 10 percent that doesn’t.

So, it seems that as much as we use kissing to gather genetic and compatibility information, our penchant for kissing also has to do with our cultural beliefs surrounding it.

Whether we live in a place where kissing is reserved for close acquaintances, or somewhere where a casual greeting means a one, two, or three cheeker, one thing does remain highly consistent: the side to which people turn while kissing.

It’s almost always to the right. A 2003 study published in Nature found that twice as many adults turn their heads to the right rather than the left when kissing. This behavioral asymmetry is thought to stem from the same preference for head-turning during the final weeks of gestation and during infancy.

One of the best things about kissing, however, is that we don’t have to think about any of this. Just close our eyes, pucker up, and let nature takes its course!

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Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1