What is the Hinge dating app, and how does it work?

From Tinder and Bumble to Grindr and OkCupid, there are dating apps galore for those who want love at their fingertips. Hinge is a lesser-known app that can easily get lost in the sea of options, but it’s still worth taking note of its special approach. Who knows? Maybe Hinge is the dating app for you.

For starters, Hinge is swipe-free. Focused less on mindlessly flipping through options and more on cultivating relationships, this app isn’t intended for casual hookups. It is, as the website states, “designed to be deleted.”

Here’s everything you need to know about the Hinge app and how it works.

What is the Hinge dating app?

Most dating apps are more or less set up the same way but with minor tweaks. However, Hinge boasts a pretty unique interface. Here’s a breakdown of all its features.

Hinge

Beyond the pictures

The dating app experience is nearly synonymous with swiping—so much so that “swipe left” is now slang for finding someone unattractive. But if we’re being honest with ourselves, mechanically swiping on human beings (often solely based on their looks) can be a little dehumanizing and lonely. It certainly isn’t the most ideal way to find a partner. That’s why Hinge ditched the classic swiping mechanic in 2015 in favor of scrolling through profiles. The app encourages users to focus more on personality traits rather than just photos. Judging from the fact that Hinge got more shoutouts in the New York Times wedding section in 2017 than Tinder and Bumble, this method seems to be working.

Furthermore, Hinge collects a lot more data than, say, Tinder. It allows people to emphasize which “filters,” or traits, are most important to them (e.g., religion or height). This allows the app’s algorithm to find more personalized and suitable matches. Once per day, this algorithm will pick out your “Most Compatible” match, ideally making it a teeny bit easier for you to find your soulmate.

Beyond the screen

Hinge also tries to combat the difficulties posed by a tech-based experience. The impersonal feel of an app makes it far too easy to ghost whoever’s on the other end of the algorithm. To discourage this kind of behavior and to aid the forgetful, Hinge introduced an anti-ghosting feature. “Your Turn” reminds users to respond to messages they’ve left sitting in their inboxes. The developers also made an effort to consider life beyond the app. The “We Met” feature allows users to provide valuable feedback on actual dates they went on with their matches, which aids the algorithm for future pairings.

All in all, Hinge is for people looking for a more personal dating app experience. Here’s how to actually use the app.

fizkes/Shutterstock

Is the Hinge app free?

You can use many of the Hinge app’s features and browse profiles in your area for free. But if you want to get the most out of the app, you’ll want to consider upgrading to the Preferred Hinge membership. The higher-tier option gets you all the features of the free app, plus lets you apply filters on potential matches including “height, whether someone has children, whether someone wants children, politics, drinking, smoking, marijuana, and drug use.” The paid version also saves time by giving you unlimited likes and the option to see everyone who liked you at the same time.

Preferred Hinge membership is offered for $9.99 per month, $19.99 for three months, or $29.99 for six months.

How does the Hinge dating app work?

After setting up your basic profile and photos, you’ll be given an array of personal questions to look at. Choose three of these to answer and display on your profile—keep in mind that these are what will be drawing people in, so pick wisely!

Then, choose all the filters that match up with the type of person you’re looking for, like gender, age, ethnicity, and more. While Hinge is free for everyone, paid tiers offer more filter customization if you have a specific set of desired traits in mind. If there are some filters you’re dead set on, mark those as “dealbreakers” to ensure you come across the right profiles.

Now, it’s time to actually start searching. Go to the “discover” tab on the bottom left of your screen to check out your suggested matches. Then, peruse people’s profiles, liking and commenting on what sticks out to you. If someone doesn’t float your boat, you can choose to pass. Otherwise, you can strike up a conversation and see where that takes you.

Here’s to hoping you find your happily ever after!

 

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14 Opening Lines To Use On Dating Apps While Quarantined

There’s nothing quite like a global pandemic to put a serious damper on your social life. But if there’s one positive thing about being in quarantine 24/7, it’s the opportunity to step up your dating app game, beginning by brushing up on your icebreakers. After all, your dating life doesn’t have to end in quarantine, it just has to adjust a little. Honestly, we could all use a laugh right now, and having a few flirty opening lines to use on dating apps while quarantined is a great way to not only to put a smile on someone’s face, but maybe even score you a FaceTime date with a cutie.

Taking that first step and reaching out to someone can sometimes be the hardest part, so if you get writer’s block when it’s time to make the first move, no worries. Here are some opening line ideas to help get you chatting.

1. Just so you know, I’m the total package: beauty, brains, and hella toilet paper.

2. Most important question ever: Team Joe Exotic or Team Carole Baskin?

3. Hey, you’re cute… wanna Netflix Party and chill?

4. Quick! What are your top three favorite things about being in quarantine? Go!

martin-dm/E+/Getty Images

5. I’m just looking for someone who enjoys sweatpants, Uber Eats, and taking long walks around the living room together.

6. If I said I wanted to quarantine together, would you hold it against me? And by it, I mean you.

7. You’re cute! I could see us getting SOCIAL in the not too DISTANT future.

8. What’s the best thing you’ve marathon-watched today?

9. I know we’re on lockdown, but I was hoping you’d want to open up to me.

10. Corny jokes are the quickest way to my heart. Tell me your best quarantine joke!

SimonSkafar/E+/Getty Images

11. It’s a good thing we’re in quarantine, because I don’t think I could stay six feet away from you otherwise.

12. I could definitely see myself practicing social ~closeness~ with you after all this.

13. What’ve you been doing to stay sane? I hit up this cutie on [insert whatever dating app you’re using here] and it’s definitely helping.

14. Hey! We should talk, because between you and me, it’s getting pretty boring having conversations with myself in here.

Get out there and start chatting — from a responsible social distance, of course.

 

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How Involved Should Our Friends and Family Be In Our Dating Lives?

I think we’ve all experienced a time in our lives when we dated, or even married a person that our friends and family were less than happy with.

But when the people in our lives don’t like the people we’ve chosen to date or with whom to be in a relationship, what does that do to our decision making process? Does it have some effect on us?

We all sometimes think that the decisions we make belong only to us. But in reality, our romantic connections are connected to our close friends and family lives.

Our romantic lives, and the choices we make are improved when our friends and family approve of that person. There have been times I’ve seen that if my friends and family don’t like her, that relationship can begin to deteriorate.

Many times, the approval of our friends and family members in regard to our romantic decisions, actually enhance our chances for success. If your friends and family like your current choice for a potential mate, you may actually have a more committed and sustaining relationship with that person.

This works across all types of relationships. It transcends race, same sex, religious beliefs, age gap and even national origin.

For the most part, we care about how our friends and family feel about our romantic relationships, and our perceptions of their approval or disapproval can influence how we feel about the relationship itself.

Many years ago, one of my sisters was in a relationship with a man the family sort of didn’t approve of. She has a strong sense of identity, and has always been fierce in her beliefs and her choices in life. She’s always been an independent thinker, and didn’t care what others thought of her decisions. She wasn’t affected by her family’s approval or disapproval of her romantic relationships. Sometimes we actually thought that she liked to do the opposite of what we expected her to do. (“She’s just being contrary.” my mother used to say) She remained in a committed relationship even when friends and family disapproved. The marriage worked, and we eventually grew to love him, but it was only after he proved he was industrious and became more ‘like us’ that we approved of him.

This is more of an anomaly than how things usually work out, but it bears mentioning. Most times, these types of relationships crumble under the stresses of life because they’re not a match. There’s a reason your friends and family don’t approve. But when you’re in love with someone, you don’t always see what’s obviously clear to those around you who truly care for you. (Notice how we only accepted him after he fell in line with our lifestyle and value system?)

The people we choose to spend our days and nights with aren’t really exclusive. Our friends and family’s feelings about our romantic partners can influence how we feel about our relationships. We feel more connected to partners to the extent that others approve of them, and less connected to the extent that they don’t. 

However, our personal characteristics, the ways of viewing the world around us that we inherently carry with us… can alter the extent to which our feelings for our partners are influenced by the approval of others.

 

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48 Women Share Things Men Write On Their Dating Profiles That Are Instant Deal-Breakers

Consider this an unapologetically brutal crash course in how NOT to carry yourself on dating apps.

    • 1
      Face - Chlaramydia, 21 Aidy, 26 less than a kilometer away less than a kilometer away

  • 2
    Text - Picture of guy flipping off the camera "Swipe left if..." The use of words or phrases that imply a lot of previous drama (petty, sick of games, etc) "I never message first..." Guys who throw themselves a pity party in their bio/obviously have no self confidence

  • 3
    Text - "Is every woman on here shallow? Prove me wrong!" "Just a super nice guy looking for his one true love" Or if they write an entire profile full of spelling mistakes. "I'm hear 4 a good tiem, hmu"

  • 4
    Cheezburger Image 9055564544

  • 5
    Text - "I'm probably more awesome than you." A friend wanted to know why he was never getting girls. This was on his page. I told him if I saw this I'd see it as a major red flag and indication of negging to come.

  • 6
    Cheezburger Image 9055565056

  • 7
    Text - pictures of your children or even worse, someone else's kids. I get it that people want to be upfront about having kids, but I find it extremely weird that people post pictures of their children on dating sites. And other peoples kids? Even weirder and much more creepy. Just don't...we can read from your ile if you have kids or not.

  • 8
    Text - Of course this doesn't just go for guys - but people in general. Saying, "I'm funny, nice, motivated", etc., is a huge turn off. Instead, say something funny in your profile, make yourself come off nice - don't self proclaim yourself positive adjectives - let others be the judge of that. That's not humble, 'nice', or funny. There's a lot of that in profiles around my area.

  • 9
    Text - A list of NO NO fatties NO feminists No uglies NO asians NO tattoos NO piercings NO trannies NO Cool. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool. Clearly you're a catch. Gonna move on and faaaar away And the ones who brag about alpha male red pill meninist bull. Hello red flag! Not written but when the only pictures are blurry shots of multiple men drinking beer? Nope

  • 10
    Text - Complaining about having gone on dates with women who didn't "look as good" as their profile pictures, or demanding proof that profile pictures are up-to-date or pictures are not taken by a professional photographer. Basically being presumptuous /bitter/ accusatory that women misrepresent themselves in their profiles, which wastes his time. So entitled and dehumanizing! Yet surprisingly common.

  • 11
    Text - The use of emojis in the profile or conversation. "Just a super down to guy..." "I don't really read much because I'm so busy at the gym....does men's fitness count? Lol" "Looking for a step mom for my kids." "Suuuuuuuuper sarcastic so if you don't get my humor, oh well." The worst is if we ever get to the point of talking and my military career comes up - "oh yeah? I wanted to join the army, but I would punch a guy if he started yelling at me like they do." No, ass hat, you wouldn't. You

  • 12
    Text - "I'm a King looking for my Queen." Run. Do not walk. Run, from profiles that have this line or some version of this.

  • 13
    Text - School of Hard Knocks (just sounds like zero education for me), General Manager at "None of your Business".... just leave them blank Partner in crime, Tinderella, Unicorn (or any of the other tired phrases) Smoking in your pictures. One single picture, or super low quality, unflattering pictures... or several pictures that aren't you (like your food, memes, making fun of sports teams/politicians.... your vehicle... scenery) 420 friendly (I don't care if you smoke, but if you have 10 words

  • 14
    Text - Not a woman but I'm sure this one isn't gender exclusive. "I love to laugh." No shit? Bumme... I was really hoping to find my female Ben Stein. It's like saying "I'm a nice guy." If you can't think of enough about yourself that you feel the need to point out something you share with literally 99.9% of humanity you're probably REALLY boring.

  • 15
    Text - Once had some guy message me. Checked his profile and it was a lot of ranting about how women never give him a chance, are all sluts looking to date assholes, etc. A couple of his profile pictures contained pictures of him showing off various weapons. reply

  • 16
    Text - Men of Reddit, how many of you deleted your shirtless selfies and fixed the "your"s in your profile after reading this thread?

  • 17
    Text - Honestly I saw this once: God and Jesus are my life. Looking for my future helpmeet. If you think you're strong and independent, keep moving. Women like that will never submit to their godly husbands as the Bible commands. And on the other end of the spectrum, some guy messaged me to tell me that he WOULD carry on a conversation with me but my belief in a higher power shows a lack of intelligence on a deep level that "can't be fixed." Then why the FUCK would you message me at all??

  • 18
    Text - One guy who once copy-pasted the same creepy message (don't remember the contents as this was many years ago) to me and a friend complained about "high standards bitches" on his profile He didn't like me calling out his copypaste thing so he called me "another high standards bitch." General life pro tip, don't refer to women by derogatory names on a dating site profile.

  • 19
    Text - Making an inappropriate joke about my race on their profile/to me. Examples: "Praising the 'asain!. " "Darker the berry the sweeter the juice. "[A]sian persuasion " (<one i recieved yesterday on okcupid) no, please. no

  • 20
    Text - "I just want someone who can hold an intelligent conversation." Every single guy I've come across that says this usually means "I want to talk about things I'm interested in and nothing else."

  • 21
    Text - Anything along the lines of "just tired of games" or "looking for someone who is real" You sound like a whiney person who has some serious baggage.

  • 22
    Text - "over 6' since apparently that fucking matters" "Just in town for x days" "Tacos and beer and whiskey" Emoji lists Pointing out that you're into fitness as if I couldn't tell by the fact that all your photos are gym selfies

  • 23
    Text - I once saw a profile where the dude literally threatened to find you online and post all the raunchy selfies you shared with him if things went sour. Like seriously? Who exactly is your target audience? But mostly it's just blank profiles. I always skip them

  • 24
    Text - For me it was when they said yes to "drinks often" I always wanted and alcoholic. also never messaged anyone back who posted pictures of their kids on their profile. I am proud of mine and I love him but I would never put his picture on my page. Hell, no one even got to meet him until weeks or months in. Those sites are for adults and believe me, there are a lot of weirdos. Keep your kids pics private.

  • 25
    Text - "No fatties" I have no issue with peoples personal preference but that is just rude. If you are uninterested in overweight people just don't talk or engage with those people

  • 26
    Text - Maybe it's because of my advanced age (late 30's), but MOST of the men wait until we are on our first date before admitting that they are actually older than what they stated on their profile. I even state CLEARLY on my profile for men to not message me if they are lying about their age. Don't waste our time. Sheesh

  • 27
    Text - Late to the party but I have seen SO many guys put things like "RIP Grandma 6.2.17" Yes, Tinder is totally the place to remember your deceased grandmother.

  • 28
    Text - "Djrtjenfrognsskganfkdsnfsjdkfbdnd" I'll fill that bit in later. (never does) "Nobody ever reads this part" "Loves to go out partying every weekend with the boys" Any topless picture, bad spelling, bad grammar, text talk, complaining about what kind of woman he doesn't want, pictures of his car, pictures of a random expensive item of clothing, pictures of himself at the gym" "Wants to date but nothing serious"

  • 29
    Text - "Not into weird stuff" Probably most definitely is into weird stuff.

  • 30
    Text - I'm a happily married woman but reading this treasure trove of horror stories makes my husband and me want to create a dummy profile just to look through all this. At the same time, I'm terrified of who I know that we'd see.

  • 31
    Text - Bad grammar. OMG. Put your best foot forward. Not you're

  • 32
    Text - This is what happens when you've been together too long... I asked my wife what I could put on my dating profile that would make her not want to date me. She put down her book, lowered her reading glasses, looked me straight in the eye and said "Stop surfing reddit and take out the damn garbage!"

  • 33
    Text - After reading this: I found out I'm doing a pretty good job with my dating profile and I do the conversation thing pretty well too. It's too bad I'm ugly EDIT: THANK YOU FOR THE GOLD, KIND STRANGER! First time ever!

  • 34
    Text - For pictures: When all of your tinder pictures are with other girls or poor attempts to crop your ex out. Edit: I'm taking about every single photo here people.... Either A) you have no good pictures of yourself without your ex. (Which is a frequent case unfortunately) B) you are trying to portray yourself as being able to get a lot of girls, so you deliberately post pictures of yourself with only groups of girls.

  • 35
    Text - "Fluent in sarcasm." I think this one's unisex Translation-- I'm not funny, but I've convinced myself that the reason nobody laughs at my jokes is that they're just too intellectual and edgy for a mainstream audience. I'm also put off by a huge wall of "favorites." Maybe this isn't as much of an issue in the Tinder age (I've been out of the game for a couple of years) but I used to see a ton of guys who would list, like, two hundred favorite movies or bands. It's a good sign that he's goi

  • 36
    Text - I'm most turned off by men that have a very specific set of "rules" or "priorities". It makes it sound like they're saying "this is the space in my life that you are expected to fill, don't deviate from this" I was most attracted to a man that had a profile that described himself humbly and with humour. I was also very drawn to the profile picture with a big friendly smile. It felt like he was showing me his authentic self. Getting married next year. :)

  • 37
    Text - Really any list of people you don't want to date. It just makes you look like an asshole...just filter out who you don't want. Admittedly I haven't been single in two years so I'm not sure if men are still doing that, but if they are, stop it.

  • 38
    Text - The shirtless pic of you in your bathroom mirror. The group picture with no indication of who you are I'll assume you are the least attractive person in that picture and you are trying to use your more attractive friends to get me to click on your profile (frequently that seems to be the case). That irritates me since it feels like you are trying to pull a bait and switch edit: So apparently the group thing is something women are also guilty of. I'm sure it is irritating regardless of gen

  • 39
    Text - Okay I haven't seen this yet but when guys take a picture of themselves where the camera is angled UP at their face from their lap...?? Nothing is more unattractive than a guys sudden double chin and uninterested glare, it's the worst angle for anyone! It's the same look women get if they look up while giving a blow job. It's not the best way to show off your face, guys.

  • 40
    Text - Personally, I can't stand the "Bet $20 you swiped left" or "What's the point, you'll swipe left anyway" I will not end up pity swiping right or because I want to prove you wrong. And anything about dogs always being "number one" or "must love dogs" is so overused it seems pretentious. Jokes on them because cats are the true overlords anyway.

  • 41
    Text - I think it's hilarious that 40+ guys are reporting they don't have kids but want them in the future. They clearly are interested in women that are 10 years their junior. Swipe left I also read.... "no drama" it leads me to believe if you have to state you don't want drama your life is already filled with it. Swipe left. When did so many men become near professional athletes? So many talented mountain bikers, triathletes, yogis, extreme marathoner, ski, hike etc. I get tired just reading t

  • 42
    Text - About me: "Just ask" Likes: "Idk, lots of stuff lol" Either that, or "I'm a true gentleman just looking for a real lady." Self-proclaimed gentleman are usually damaged, doormats, or wish reality was like TV-1950s. But the worst - the actual worst - only reveal themselves after you start messaging. The ones who make you carry the whole conversation. They never ask questions, even when they were the ones who initiated, and they give one-sentence answers. The worst.

  • 43
    Text - Blank profiles. Profiles that make it clear you are deeply full of yourself. Ones with shirtless mirror photos. Edit: Wow. First comment over 10k upvotes Thanks, all!

  • 44
    Text - Complaining about exes on the profile is a big deal breaker for me.

  • 45
    Text - god family ball grind gains goals hmu) for you geezers... hmu stands for "hit me up"

  • 46
    Text - Bad grammar. Saying you like to party as if that's your favourite hobby. That weird review thing they do like "best guy ever - the times" or something.

  • 47
    Text - "Get at me!" "Just chillin hmu" A list of emojis I'm supposed to decipher that explain who you are "420 is my middle name" (not against it, just don't care for it IMO) "I'm really 19 not sure why it says 26 haha )" Edit: Oh, and I just saw one that simply says, "My dick is 9" l'll prove it ;)"

  • 48
    Text - Anything that insinuates you're too good to be on [insert dating site here]. If you were really too good for Tinder, you wouldn't be on Tinder.

  • 49
    Text - Not on the profile, but when they msg you out of nowhere and the first thing they say is sexual. I legitimately had a guy msg me, "I want to shoot in your mouth" as a first msg Never saw or heard from the guy before and THAT'S how he thinks it would be appropriate to start a conversation. I mean really. Edit: this did not happen on tinder

 

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If You’re On Dating Apps But Not Into Casual Hookups, Here’s What To Write On Your Profile

Fortunately, dating apps have made connecting with like-minded singles easier than ever before. However, if you’re not looking for a casual encounter, making your intentions known might seem like the best way to get the most out of your matches. That’s why anyone who’s on dating apps but not into casual hookups has probably considered how to communicate this without it coming off as too “intense.”

Although it’s definitely a good idea to be honest, online dating coach and dating profile writer Eric Resnick recommends avoiding the use of language that could dissuade people from contacting you. “Writing that you aren’t looking for a hookup is defensive language,” Resnick tells Elite Daily. “It makes you sound like you aren’t going to trust the intentions of anyone who contacts you, regardless of what they may actually be.”

Finding matches who are on the same page isn’t always easy, and ultimately, it’s up to you to decide which approach you’re most comfortable with. “Being honest may scare away a potential match and you have to decide if that is a risk you are willing to take,” prominent couples’ therapist Dr. Gary Brown tells Elite Daily. Thankfully, both Dr. Brown and Resnick agree that keeping your profile focused on what you are looking for instead of what you aren’t is a good place to start.

“If you aren’t looking for a hookup, don’t talk about hookups,” says Resnick. “Talk about the type of person you want to meet and the type of relationship you want to find. Don’t say you are looking for someone to rush you down the aisle or to have a baby with, but be honest about the type of relationship you’re looking for.” Even though it may seem like adding a disclaimer against casual encounters will help sort through incompatible candidates, according to Resnick, casual sex seekers will probably still reach out. There’s not much you can do to avoid that. “The people who just want a hookup are going to message you anyways,” explains Resnick. “For them, it’s a numbers game.”

To anyone looking for something more meaningful than a fling, Dr. Brown recommends casting a wide net and not limiting yourself to dating apps that have an overtly casual implication. If it still seems like you’ve been getting attention from people who are almost always looking for casual sex, Resnick says it’s also important to consider your profile photos.

Resnick suggests avoiding photos that are overtly sexual in nature. “On dating apps, people are going to look at your pics more than anything and those pics tell a story,” he says. “Make sure they’re telling the story you want to tell.”

Figuring out the most effective way to present yourself on dating apps can be tricky. That said, the results you get are oftentimes dependent on crafting an image of yourself that’s in line with the type of relationship you’re looking for. That’s why staying true to yourself while also focusing on the kind of relationship you’re hoping to find is key.

 

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6 Worst Opening Lines On Dating Apps That Women Have Actually Gotten

Be they corny, crappy, or creepy, the worst opening lines on dating apps are always the ones that make you go, “Wow, I really matched with this person? Goodbye!” Coming up with the perfect opening line on a dating app is a science and an art. Yes, you’ve got to be intriguing — quirky, even if that’s your dating app vibe. But there’s a difference between being a bit offbeat or unconventional in your opening message, and straight-up uncomfortable.

If you’re not super experienced when it comes to crafting dating app openers, all you need to do is sit down and brainstorm some cute, clever things to say. Even a quick glance at a match’s profile is a good start: Ask about their city or about favorite foods, or even a “Would you rather?” type question. A nicely filled out dating app bio is literally an open book! It’s filled in with information so you can find the appropriate topics to broach with your potential f*ck buddy and/or love of your life. What you don’t do is skip over the socially acceptable realm of dating app small talk and skip straight to strange feelings, sh*tty compliments, or niche fantasies — sexual or otherwise. Here are six women on the most cringe-worthy dating app openers they’ve received.

Courtesy of Haley, 24

Unfortunately, the line — “Girl, you’re [looking] thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.” — is a reference to viral, heavily memed court case video, where the defendant was literally caught saying that to an undercover police officer. Not only does it have wack origin, it’s super forward! Clearly this man is horny on main. Haley, 24, literally had the right response.

“ARE YOU FROM MCDONALD’S? BECAUSE I’M LOVIN’ IT.”

Haley, 19, got this opener on Bumble. When asked if she had a screenshot, Haley said, “No, because I unmatched his *ss after he said he deserves my body.”

THE ONE ABOUT ONIONS

Courtesy of Bea*, 22

Apart from her love of indie music and rosé, Bea*, 22, did have a reference to onions in her Tinder profile. She included this cute, quippy little tidbit: “You know that part in Shrek where he said he was an onion because he had layers? Me A/F.” But she never said she liked onions. And what’s up with being worried about whether your Tinder match to make you cry?

A REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE COMPARISON

Courtesy of Ariana*, 25

“Love men who immediately go from negging to horny,” says Ariana*, 25. For those of you who don’t know, “negging” is the practice of offering someone a backhanded compliment. It’s often a tool to make someone vulnerable and get the upper hand in romantic or sexual endeavors.

“It is dismissive and degrading to the other person and can eventually undermine their self-confidence. Usually the person doing the negging is insecure in their ability to attract [someone] without putting them down,” dating coach Christine Baumgartner told Bustle.

“I WANT TO PAINT YOU GREEN AND SPANK YOU LIKE A DISOBEDIENT AVOCADO 🥑 😏”

This opener Charlotte, 22, received is truly the kind of sh*t that you can’t make up. There’s so much to unpack here. Why an avocado? Why not any other fruit? Or was he really just going for a millennial food? And in that case, there’s questions about whether he has sexual desires for oat milk, charcoal ice cream cones, hot wings, or anything sprinkled with turmeric, too. “Literally, so weird,” Charlotte says.

A REALLY INVOLVED COP SAGA

Courtesy of Kathryn, 23

Not only did this man slide into Kathryn’s, 23, DMs with the modern-day Bonnie and Clyde visuals. He later messaged her this: “You’re [student newspaper] writer… here’s a tip. The shooting TN: cop pulled over, man (non-SU student) started a confrontation, gun fight ensured, suspect dead, cop in stable condition.” Um, OK! “These may have been a few weeks apart, but the first one was awful and the second one was hilarious,” Kathryn says. Either way, maybe homeboy needs to tune into a police scanner for his kicks and get off Tinder.

While weird dating app openers are few and far in-between, here’s hoping they can give you a few laughs when you encounter them — and not make you swear off dating apps for life.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Bailey – Chapter 1 – From Texting to Connecting

I matched with Bailey on OkCupid. Let’s take a look at her profile.

Bailey

27 – Philadelphia, PA

Straight, Bisexual, Heteroflexible, Sapiosexual, Woman, Single, 5’5″ Thin

My Self Summary

So apparently OkCupid decided to delete all of my content on my fucking profile. I had a bunch of witty things written here. Oh well… I’m a spoken word artist. Honest, raw, blunt, cynical, funny, frugal, practical, logical, nurturing, attentive, catering, independent, passionate, no nonsense. I was originally looking for a life partner but this website doesn’t offer those so let’s just hang. Not here for sex unless we actually go together. I’m old fashioned. If you have kinky anywhere on your profile, buzz off.

What I’m doing with my life

Working at an insurance company and retail job, volunteering and performing as a a spoken word artist. Also, I’m a really nice, gentle person. You just can’t tell from this profile.

I’m really good at:

Being funny in a super corny way. Talking to myself in public. Word play.

The first thing people notice about me

My facial piercings. Especially my Medusa.

Food: Soul food and Chinese. But I legit will eat almost anything. Every guy I meet is some craft beer snob. I’ll take a sip for the sake of feigning open-mindedness. But THE SHIT IS NASTY, OK? I like cheap ass wine and Seagram’s wine coolers. The girly jams. That’s it.

Six things I can’t live without

This list is ever changing…

Poetry, Grandma, Music, Curse words/SAT words, This asshole cell phone, Google maps

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Finding my happy place. Black lives matter. Trump is a cunt.

On a typical Friday night I am

At a social or artistic event

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I spontaneously cry during cute commercials

You should message me if

You are drama free, baggage free, looking for something real, ***own a car*** (I’m not a chauffer) and want to connect in person quickly.

You eat sleep and breathe art

You like a nice firm cuddle.

You smell like sunshine and rainbows

You acknowledge that I’m not crazy. I’m quirky. Big Diff.

It bothers you that I didn’t put a period after rainbows.

 

That’s Bailey’s profile.

I like her. 27 years old. As we all know here at phicklephilly that’s my sweet spot. They are all looking for daddy and then want to get married and have kids. Then it’s over. That’s okay. I love meeting them and offering what wisdom I can. At this point since I’m long divorced and Lorelei lives with me I am beyond all of that. I may marry again. But she will be a doctor that will take care of my sorry ass and love me forever.

But for now, I want to meet quirky pierced “Fell asleep face down into a tackle box” baby. She’s going to turn 28 the day after Christmas. No problem meeting and old goat so I’m going to bring in the ’67 Pontiac GTO game I always do. Let’s see what happens. The blog won’t write itself, and the art is all.

Can’t wait to meet Bailey. She seems really nice. In her profile she says she’s thin. That could mean nice legs.

Let’s go with that.

I decide to write the first text on OkCupid.  She’s unique so I need to go with something original in my approach. Then I remember she likes “Dad Jokes” So I open with the following:

Waiter: Careful these plates are hot. Me: That’s okay, I’m not really attracted to plates.

She responds. “Gems. I knew you’d have some.”

“Hi Bailey. I loved your profile and you seem absolutely fascinating.”

“Thank you and likewise. I have a special place in my heart for comedians.”

“Me too. I’ve done stand up in the past and it’s terrifying and hilarious. Please tell me more about your spoken word art.”

“I’ve been writing and performing poetry since middle school as well as singing and acting. After high school I stopped performing for years until last year. Now I attend 2 open mics a week and occasionally book paid gigs. It’s my favorite thing in the world. It has brought be a lot of friendships and happiness.”

“That’s awesome! Let’s meet up for lunch one day. What days/times are good for you?”

“Tomorrow I’m available until 6pm. Sunday I have open availability as well.”

“Tomorrow I’m out-of-town. I could meet you after 4pm on Sunday.”

“Okay, that works for me!”

“Wonderful. I’ll find a place to meet up!”

(I provide my phone number)

So we switch over to texting and I’m feeling a good vibe. I think I like this quirky girl. I set up our first date for noodles and snacks at Dan Dan, the sechuen restuarant where my buddy Nate works as a bartender. She likes the idea and I’m going to meet her there Sunday!

So we’ll see what happens.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish everyday.

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Nadia and Frankie

So I’d been chatting to a girl named Nadia on Tinder for a week or so and we had organized to go on a date the next Thursday; we were both pretty busy and that was the only night we were both free. The weekend comes around and I meet a girl at a party. Frankie (the girl at the party) and I hit it off straight away and we play some beer pong, talk and generally just have a good time. I walked her home and we set a date for Tuesday.

Tuesday comes around and we have a great time. Met for coffee late evening, went for a walk around the city and got dinner. She says that her roommate won’t be home until later and invites me back to her apartment for a movie and after the first half of Guardians of the Galaxy, we get to having sex.

I go to the kitchen to get a drink and, being home alone, I decide that just wearing my underwear will be fine. So I’m at the sink, gulping down water in my underwear when I hear a rattle. It’s not coming from Frankie’s room, it’s coming from the front door. I panicked, turned to face the front door and as it opened, I vaguely recognized the girl’s face.

Turns out Nadia and Frankie lived together.

Obviously almost-naked me is the last thing poor Nadia expected to see when she came home; she managed to get about 3 steps into the hallway before she even noticed someone was there. As soon as she did, she screamed and bundled herself back against the door, clearly thinking I’m some weird guy who breaks into people’s apartments semi-naked to steal tap water or some shit. I go bright red, embarrassed as hell while trying to calm Nadia, who’s seconds away from a heart attack.

By this time, fully naked Frankie comes running into the hallway confused as hell, much to Nadia’s surprise. After she calmed herself down, Nadia was pretty cool about the whole thing. I explained about the party and the date and she was initially kinda pissed but she said she understood and was cool about it. Carried on dating Frankie until she moved to New York for a job. Amazing girl, amazing figure.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Phicklephily – Tinder Moments

 

Here are even more crazy Tinder posts!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly   twitter: @phicklephilly

5 Steps To Get Laid Using Tinder

If you’re a single guy and not living under a rock, then you’ve probably heard of the dating or rather hook up app called Tinder. Tinder is basically an application that lets you like or dislike profiles of people by swiping right for “like” or left for “nope”. Tinder lets users upload pictures from their Facebook profile and also adds a snippet of information from their profile as well.

Although women are on tinder for different reasons, tinder is in my opinion better for one night stands than OKCupid or PlentyofFish because subconsciously, women view Tinder as a “hook-up” app”.

The goals of this guide are simple:

  1. Get an attractive girls attention/attraction
  2. Get her number as soon as possible
  3. GET LAID within 24 hours on tinder. Ideally within 2 hours.NOT get a date, not text a girl endlessly and hope she chooses you and certainly, not to go on multiple dates.

The facts to remember:

  1. There are at any given time, a number of girls that are DTF (down to fuck) on tinder.
  2. EVERY attractive girl on tinder has multiple guys messaging them and they are interested in multiple guys as well.

Tinder is possibly the most superficial dating app out there and it works so well for precisely that reason.

I signed up to tinder and after a few weeks of tinkering around, I must say I’ve become quite good at it.

Basically, in the last 3 days, I’ve been on four “Tinder Dates” and hooked up with two of the four women. All four were attractive – not as attractive as women I’d approach in person, but attractive enough to hook up with. The week before that, I met five girls from tinder and hooked up with one.

After extensive tweaking and a LOT of messages sent out, I’ve developed a surefire way to get dates and more specifically, hook up with girls from Tinder.

1.  Your Photos

Your tagline on tinder is irrelevant. Only your pictures matter on first impression. Tinder is a superficial app and you literally have a few seconds to a make a first impression-in fact, a lot of times you have less than a second before she swipes to the left.

First Picture: This should be a GOOD picture of your face. By good picture, let me specify: It should show the “best side” of your face. If you are not sure, as a few female friends what they think of you picture, if you were a stranger. If you are a really good looking guy (i.e when you are not smiling, women in general refer to you as “hot”), you don’t necessarily need to smile.

If you are not a traditionally “good looking guy,” get that angle right and smile! In a separate post, I will discuss facial aesthetics and how you can maximize your looks. Every guy can be considered good-looking if he puts in the effort.

Second Picture: This should be one of you in a social situation,with well groomed guys preferably well dressed. Mine has me in a fitted suit. It communicates maturity, sophistication, high status, fashion sense and a thriving social life with males friends of high status.

Third Picture: This should be a picture that shows off your body. If you’ve been working out and taking care of your body, this picture should show you doing something natural- chilling with friend on the beach, lounging at the lake, chopping wood, mid-transformation into your werewolf – whatever. Just make sure its not a selfie of you in your bathroom mirror-UNLESS, you have a phenomenal physique. This guide is about getting laid on tinder, not finding a relationship.

Fourth Picture: Optional. If you’ve got killer pictures for the above three, you are good to go.

2. Profile

I recommend creating a new facebook profile just for tinder. However, this has been known to be glitchy with tinder and end up giving you no matches at all. One of the first things you should do is start liking pages that girls like in general. This increase the interests you have in common. Usually TV shows that girls love will get you there. I dont watch TV as its a waste of valuable time, but a google search let me know what is popular out there.

3. Technique

Swipe right. Let me explain something to you, guys. In the real world, women get to pick and choose who they want to sleep with. Getting laid for men is a numbers game, with the probability of you getting laid increasing as you improve you looks, lifestyle, Game and social status.

With Tinder, you’ve got your looks down and sub-communicated your status. Your next step is to play the numbers game. Don’t fall into the trap of looking for attractive women and discounting those you don’t find attractive.

The reason for this is that it is a WASTE OF TIME. If you were to pause at every third girl you found moderately attractive, check out her pictures and read her tagline, you just wasted a few precious seconds.

Swipe and get as many matches as possible. If you live in a large city of 1 million+ residents and you have followed my above instructions, you WILL get multiple matches.You can filter for the girls you find attractive as the matches line up. I prefer to get 6-10 matches before I start messaging.

4. Messaging

The purpose of messaging is two fold:

  1. To Screen the girl and see if she is looking to get laid, or DTF.
  2. To Get her number.

Send out messages to all your matches. Remember – you are looking to meet up with women on tinder THAT DAY. As in, within a 24 hour period.

Here’s a sample from one of the girls I hooked up with. I was messaging with a few other girls as well. I’ve included two examples of interactions where I hooked up with chicks: one for travelling men and one for men who don’t travel as much. These are WORD for WORD without any editing.

Non-travelling men: This was a 20-year-old college student at a local college.

On Tinder:

Me: hey hey

Jenna: hey!

Me: What’s up cutie 🙂

Jenna: At the library working on a group project…what u doin?

Me: At the gym letting out some stress – long day. Tough project or so-so?

Jenna: ugh soso over it though”

Me: Lol – I feel your pain. Text me xxx-xxx-xxxx- easier

Jenna: O.k!

Texting:

Jenna: “Heyyy”

Me: Yo! Can you give me a recommendation for a decent bar in town? BTW, you’re really attractive, Jenna!

Jenna: Thanks! You’re pretty handsome, yourself !What are you into? ___,___,_____- are good.

Me: o.k, I’ll check them out-you should come over for a drink when you are done with your project.

Jenna: Where do you live?

Me: ______ by___________ street

Jenna: I’d love to but, my car got swiped yesterday and is not in the best condition for driving

Jenna: You could always come over to my place for a drink…

Me: K-I’m getting off from the gym now- gonna shower. Text me you address and I’ll let you know before I come over.

Jenna: * Address*

I went over to her place – she told me her roommates were at the library all night (it was finals week last week), so chilled and drank for about 30 mins. I asked her to show me her room and once we were inside, I pulled her to me. Make out, condoms, bang.

The next example is  for men who travel a lot, which I believe is where the beauty of tinder reveals itself, because you can get higher quality(better looking educated,sophisticated,more interesting) women – especially if you travel out of a smaller town with less going on. Again, it’s a real interaction which happened last week.

On Tinder:

Me: Heyy what’s up- dang! You are cute!

Jess: Hey thanks 🙂 you are pretty dang cute yourself

Me: Thank you 🙂 I’m visiting Dallas-making new friends, but the weather is killing me!

Jess: “Visiting from where?”

Jess: And yes, the weather is terrible!

Me: From LA. You look like a sophisticated lady-what bars do you recommend in the downtown area?

Jess: Haha-take me to LA with you.Whats your scene? Theres a party at_____ that my friend is promoting , techno music at______ and a cool dj at _____

I honestly haven’t been out in awhile, but I’ll be going out tonight.

Me: Hey-text me, its much easier xxx-xxx-xxxx

Texting:

At this point she texts me:

Jess: Heyy, Its Jess

Me: O.k – you are quite the resource! I will look them up later and perhaps bar hop.Hopefully find something with a dancefloor.

Hit me up later and if you end up in a really fun place!

Jess: O.k!

Three hours later…

Jess: Did you find somewhere to go?

Me: “Yes! Bar____. Its banging in here!”

Jess: “Haha ok! I’m at_____ . Theres a dancefloor…just sayin,lol.

Me: Theres a bigger dancefloor here- come over, its a 3 min cab ride.What are you drinking?I’ll have one waiting for you.

Jess: I’m in the line-come get me.

And that was that, men. I took her back to my hotel room and tore it up.

5. Breakdown

In both cases, I used the same very basic formula:

1. Get her attention and her number: I always tell them as soon as possible that they are cute / attractive. Because I’ve done a great job on my profile pictures, I usually get a compliment back in return. If she doesn’t respond to my compliment, I will immediately ask her. “Aren’t you going to tell me that I look cute as well?” (Credit Chris at goodlookingloser.com  *possible trigger images*).The next and MOST IMPORTANT step is that I ask her to do something for me! Usually, its recommendation to a bar. Why do I do this? Its called the Benjamin Franklin effect. “The Benjamin Franklin Effect states that once a person has done you a favor they will be more likely to do you another favor.”

In this case, it is not a favor, but we are trying to get her number as soon as possible. Consequently, I give her my number and tell her to text me because its “easier”. Girls are more likely to text you when you give out more number first. They are even more likely to do so when they are invested in you.

2. Meet her that night: Always go for the meet up that night. There are a hundred guys messaging her at the same time. I know because, I had every girl I hooked up with show me their tinder app and I read the messages other guys were sending them. Heck, I even had girl setting up future dates with guys as I was using the bathroom!

The longer you wait for the meet up , the less likely you will have sex with her. If you are in a different town, make sure that you mention that you are new in town. This exponentially increases you chances of meeting up that day.

There you go! Go forth and get laid. Feel free to post any results, comments or questions in the comment box below.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                       Facebook: phicklephilly