Attractive People Reveal the Ups and Downs of Being Beautiful, and It’s Hard to Say If They’re Lucky

Many tend to think that beautiful people have it easy, and they do, in some ways. But many studies show it’s hardly heaven on earth for them. Some may even leave you wondering if beauty is more of a curse than a blessing.

Bright Side is aware that looks aren’t everything and good-looking people agree with us.

1. People of the same gender like to put them down, and many times they succeed.

Research shows that people feel threatened by beauty and when encountering someone beautiful, they may plan to put them down out of fear or jealousy. For instance, research has proven that if an attractive person has a job interview and is being questioned by a recruiter of the same gender, chances are, they won’t get the job because the interviewer will feel threatened.

People in the office might have a tendency to gossip about good-looking people because they can’t take away their looks, but they can kill their character. Those with good looks agree and express those people are constantly more competitive — specifically with them, pissed off if they don’t feel happy all the time, projecting their insecurities on them, and pushing them away for fear of competition, rejection, jealousy, or any other reason. They feel continually judged like they’re on stage.

2. People usually have higher expectations of them.

Psychologists call this phenomenon the Halo Effect, which is the way people link all kinds of positive features to their beauty by association. But in the case of attractive people, many associate them not only with positive features but also with positive results. Therefore, if someone’s good-looking, they expect them to have a loving family, a successful job, and easy life. Attractive people feel that there are a lot of expectations that they perform well professionally and that their career success naturally has to keep pace with their looks.

But it’s not that simple because they fail too. And the harsh part is that they’ll be continuously judged for it. And heaven forbid if they complain. Many people believe that if someone is attractive, everything bad that happens to them is their own fault.

3. They’re a bit smarter than others, even if some people believe they’re dumb.

A study has suggested that they might be a bit smarter than others. It discovered that intellect is linked to proportional and fit bodies. However, handsome individuals struggle with the stereotype that because they’re good-looking, they must be stupid. They have even gone as far as saying that their friends have confessed that they thought they were too pretty to be smart.

Attractive people may have even experienced the consequences of this stereotype. If they showed they were smart in any way, people wouldn’t like it, and would still judge them. They believe that you’re not allowed to be attractive, kind, intelligent, and self-sufficient all at the same time.

4. Many think attractive people are also nice, funny, and trustworthy.

Because of the Halo Effect, no matter their age, many people unconsciously believe that if someone is gorgeous, then they’re also kind, funny, honest, and reliable.

Handsome individuals admit they’ve experienced this bias and share the fact that people tend to be nicer to them. They’re also able to be more open because people are more forgiving with them. Even children are comfortable around them almost immediately.

5. They’re more persuasive even if they’re not trying to be.

Your uber has arrived

Being attractive gives people more confidence, which grants them the power to persuade others. It has been shown, for example, that when recruiters interview people of the opposite sex for a job, they’re more likely to hire someone attractive because their beauty influences their decision. And even if cute people aren’t trying to persuade someone to go their way, they just need to ask for something to get what they want.

As a result, gorgeous individuals confess that they can get away with things like passing an exam, getting out of parking fines, or getting into clubs for free. Fortunately, many don’t like using their beauty charms to their advantage. They know they have a lot of superficial power over a lot of people but have little-to-no interest in using it.

6. People tend to think they’re healthy.

Tru

Research suggests that facial symmetry can be perceived as a sign of health and that people with facial features that are not deemed as beautiful are more prone to catch a disease and become ill. Aside from the face, the body also counts. It’s not news that people who are considered attractive have a fit body and are an average weight, which makes healthy people stand out. Many beautiful people take care of their bodies and try to stay in shape. They believe in a healthy diet, some light exercise, water, and daily sunscreen.

7. It’s hard for them to find out if someone loves them or is just fooling around.

At the beginning of a relationship, they tend to have some doubts about the intentions of their significant other. Handsome people are not sure if a man or a woman loves them deeply or is simply attracted to them physically. They may even think their partners just want to brag about their looks.

This is why they complain that it’s hard to find a relationship with someone who knows them. They feel like others just tolerate their personality and don’t embrace it. Some beautiful women admit they’re not sure if guys are interested in getting to know them or if they just want a trophy girlfriend.

8. They get too much-unwanted attention which can be tiring, intimidating, and dangerous.

The smile from that handsome man was ok, but after a while, being in the spotlight makes them uncomfortable, awkward, and can lower their confidence. They tend to be insecure, because of the hyper-focused attention on their bodies, and feel like there’s nowhere to hide. If that’s not enough, they also get creepy looks from strangers with bad intentions, so they need to be extra cautious about where they go.

9. But looks aren’t eternal or even their best asset, and they know it.

Yes, being beautiful can have its perks, but it still comes with its limitations. It’s also an asset that fades away. As they age, attractive people feel their physical beauty slipping away in a very magnified way. It’s almost like having a superpower that they start to lose control of. The important thing, though, is to remember that it’s not the most fundamental thing that’s necessary to succeed in life. Take it from a cute guy: “Really though, it’s more about the charm I have that lets me get away with a lot.”

As with most things in life, even beauty has its pros and cons. Which of these advantages do you think is the best? Which of the disadvantages do you think would be horrible to put up with? Start the discussion below!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

13 Reasons Why The Older You Are, The More You Hate Everyone

Here’s a post a friend of mine on here sent me. She describes herself as a cranky, jaded introvert. 

But I agree with her on many of these points. I ran into a woman I haven’t seen in probably two years. She looked healthy but seemed exactly the same as she was when I met her over five years ago. Fifteen minutes into the conversation I was already bored. Without the distraction of other people at a bar or the excitement of attending an event, she seemed dull. I’ve come to realize how rampant mental illness is in today’s world.

I believe as we age we need to continually evolve to be better. But I think we can all agree that during this pandemic we really found out who our real friends are.

Anyway… Take it away, Donna!

I used to be one of those girls who was absolutely desperate to be popular, have friends, and be around people.

As I get older, I’ve realized that I’ve turned into a grumpy, crotchety lady who really doesn’t want to be around people.

“Generally, people become more emotionally stable, agreeable, and conscientious as they leave their youth behind,” says Jenn Granneman, author of The Secret Lives of Introverts, “They also become quieter and more self-contained, needing less socializing and excitement to be happy.”

To a point, it’s becoming more of an introvert is a natural process that can’t be helped.

Here’s why you become more introverted and start to hate everyone as you get old — and why I’m OK with turning into a misanthrope.

1. The older you get, the more often people have let you down.

All those Disney songs about having friends who never disappoint you or bail on you clearly haven’t taken into account the majority of the human race.

By the time that you’re 20, you’ve probably been dealt major blows by people you never thought would hurt you, and that makes you really jaded toward people.

2. As you age, the fun of being around people begins to disappear.

Popularity stops being cool when you realize how much money it costs to be popular, and how much of a time-waster it is.

3. You learn over time that people ruin the coolest things.

Ever notice how it only takes one stupid person’s actions to ruin a good thing? Ever notice how many good things get ruined this way?

This is why we can’t have awesome things: stupid people!

4. You find that most people you meet are boring as hell.

Their entire lives revolve around things that aren’t important. They don’t really make you think about anything in particular. They are boring, and there’s a certain point where boring becomes a reason not to talk to them.

If I do hang out with people, I want them to have a real spark inside them, and that just doesn’t really happen too often.

5. You discover that ninety-nine percent of the people you meet are fake.

I hate the fact that most people I’ve met can’t talk about how they really feel, what they’re really going through, or what they honestly think about you.

At the end of the day, most people will sugarcoat things that shouldn’t be sugarcoated, and most people won’t tell you the full truth, even if it’s an absolute necessity.

6. You realize that dealing with people’s drama is exhausting.

I’d rather watch TV.

The drama is more entertaining and it won’t negatively affect me.

7. You find that most get-togethers quickly become incredibly boring.

Let’s face it: most people don’t want to go to those tired dinner parties thrown by their bosses anyway.

8. As years pass, your tolerance for people judging you and telling you what to do shrinks to zero.

People always love to get angry when you don’t live the way they want you to live.

I’m too old to have people judge me, try to control me, or tell me how to live my life. Shouldn’t others be more worried about their lives instead?

9. The longer you’ve been alive, the worse people treat you in general.

When you’re a kid, everyone coos at you and coddles you. When you’re a teenager, everyone hates you. When you’re an adult, everyone hates you and expects you to do stuff for them.

I don’t recall signing up for this BS.

10. By the time you’re 30, you realize that your pets are more mature than the people you regularly talk to.

That might be why I prefer to drink wine with my cats.

11. There’s a certain point where you can’t deal with people’s shallow behavior.

If I was 300 pounds, I could guarantee that men wouldn’t want anything to do with me and that people, in general, would make mean comments about my weight.

Knowing this made me really worn out when it came to talking to people. I don’t want to bother with people who would discard me based on how much I weigh, what I wear, or how I look.

12. People have really messed up expectations about how others should treat them, versus how they treat others.

With most people, manners have gone the way of the dodo, but they have no problem expecting others to be nice to them.

I’m so over it.

13. When push comes to shove, getting older also means that you realize that most people aren’t worth it.

This makes the few people who are worth talking to all the more precious.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Want to Feel Better After a Broken Heart? Then Stay Away from People Who Suck!

Are you divorced or recovering from a heartbreak and working to rebuild your self-esteem? When you’re working to get your confidence back and build boundaries, there is one “hiding in plain sight” barrier that will keep you from reaching your goals.

And that’s surrounding yourself with toxic people.

You know *exactly* who they are…

  • The pushy one with unsolicited advice that makes you doubt your decisions
  • The rude one throwing shade with snide comments and back-handed compliments
  • The one who blames you and makes themselves the victim when you call them out on their BS.

Sound like anyone you know?

Is this a sister or brother? Your father or mother? Your adult child? That “friend” who says they’re “only trying to help you?”

Literally every person deals with these folks on the daily. And his/her comments are so hurtful because they know which button of yours to push. They’ve known you for a long time, and know your sore spots, triggers, and vulnerabilities. They’ve had decades to perfect them.

That’s why one of their comments can leave you devastated for days.

The secret about toxic people in your life…

100 percent of that criticism has nothing to do with you. They are projecting their own insecurities onto you and not taking responsibility for their own crap.

Remember the time your sibling said, “those jeans look a little snug on you, don’t you think?” although they knew you were hitting the gym again?

They guaranteed can’t fit into their own jeans anymore, or just saw a picture of their slimmer selves in college.

Remember that time you got that promotion at work and instead of congratulating you, your mom or dad said, “Oh, so I guess that means you’ll be spending even less time with your kids.”

 

So, what do you want to do about them?

Option 1: Continue to let them walk all over you, saying “that’s just who they are. They won’t change. This option is risky because you put yourself at risk of continued frustration and hurt feelings.

Option 2: Stand up for yourself. This doesn’t have to look like a Jerry Springer fight. But it takes courage, especially if this type of person has treated you a certain disrespectful way for years or decades.

  1. “Hey (insert person’s name), it really hurts my feelings when you do/say (insert harmful action here). I would ask that you keep those comments to yourself.
  2. “Hey (insert person’s name). I notice that you’re always commenting or giving me unsolicited advice on my divorce/looks/weight/recovery/insert whatever they’re always commenting on. I would ask that you don’t do that anymore, at least until I specifically ask for your advice.”

So, a quick heads-up when you stand up for yourself against toxic people. If the person has any amount of emotional intelligence, they may take a step back and say, “Oh, wow … Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad,” or something along the lines of that.

Or they may get defensive and turn it on you. They may say, “I’m only trying to help you. If you don’t want my honest opinion, then fine.” And then they might stomp away or hang up the phone or stonewall you or some other 5-year-old-at-the-playground silliness.

If that reaction occurs, that is a HUGE RED FLAG that maybe this relationship is unhealthy. This ain’t the end of the world–it’s just an opportunity to set up healthy boundaries.

Oh, and I get you may not just be able to walk away from that person so easily. They might be a relative or close friend you have known for years.

But remember–being related to someone DOES NOT give them carte blanche to disrespect you.

It takes a herculean effort to be confident enough to speak up and stand your ground when they push back. But until then, remember:

  1. Be aware that some of the most toxic people may be the ones closest to you
  2. Their hurtful words have nothing to do with you, but everything to do with their own insecurities
  3. You have the power to speak up for yourself…even if you’re older and haven’t done much of it.
  4. Family members and close friends *do not* get to be disrespectful just because they’re in your life and have done so for decades.

So, how about you? Do you close friends and family who put you down?

What two steps will you take the next time it happens?

 

 

Sun Stories: Trinity – Chapter 3 – Dopamine Overload

I was working at the salon. It was Saturday. We’re firmly ensconced in the busy season and killing it. I’m on my own, but the cash register is singing and I’m having an amazing day.

I’m texting a potential girl for a lunch date this week, when my phone buzzed.

I thought it was the girl I had been texting with a final word. (Brooke again trying to catfish me?)

But I got a sudden text from Trinity.

It got my strict attention.

“I’m seeing a lot of legs!!! You must be so happy lololol”

I’m shocked and astounded. Here’s a girl I really like, that ghosted me, but suddenly lights me up. I need to be cautious,…. or I need to be… ME.

You know who I’ll pick.

“Hi, Trinity. It’s been a total leg show here at the salon all day. Finally finishing up the day.”

“That’s wonderful!! Lol It’s a total leg show out in the street too!! I feel overdressed lolo!

I love that the girl I really like that ghosted me for a week has suddenly contacted me and is discussing my favorite fetish and is now online!

“What are you up to? I could go for a post work cold beer”

“I’m in your neck of the woods! Where should I go?

So this is the girl I really I want to hang out with and a week ago I was angry because she blew me off. The gods must be smiling upon me for bringing in over a thousand dollars into the salon today.

This is my moment with Trinity…..I pull the trigger.

“Meet me at Happy Rooster in 15 minutes.

 

Holy Shit. Is this really happening?

I finish up at the salon and lock the door. I light a celebratory cig and walk down Walnut street to 16th. Happy Rooster is a block away.

I’ve chosen well.

Prey is in range, and the lion is on his way. I’ve worked in sales my whole life. When the client is ready. You must strike.

I’m excited. I haven’t heard a word from Trinity in over a week since we last tried to meet up. I thought it was dead and gave up. But after a great day at the salon and the 80 degree weather, the planets are lining up and I’m ready to unfold with the universe as usual.

This shouldn’t be happening, but it IS!

It so reminds me of when I was courting Michelle. (See: Michelle – A Brand New Day) That energy. That unsure, off balance vibe, that’s always going to right itself once you see her. Just be you. That charming guy at the salon that she feels safe with.

I’m not worried, I can only think of the smell of the cigarette I’m smoking right before I sit next to her in Happy Rooster.

I head over there, puffin tuff. I have to do it. This is destiny. Who gives a shit. She has a boyfriend in Boston, and she’s just texted me.

I have to be me.

The city is awash with people. The weather is unseasonable warm and it’s a preview of what the city looks like all summer. A non-stop sea of lovely young women in various stages of undress.

I traveled two blocks and it was a non-stop pageant of bare legs. It was magic for me. But I love that not only did Trinity realize the exposure, she connected it to me and reached out.

That’s huge. She remembers what I like, and took the time to text me on a special day.

Let’s put a cap on this extraordinary money day at the salon with a beer with a pretty girl.

“Just arrived.”

I toss my cig and head in.

Trinity’s at the bar and there’s surprisingly plenty of room.

I like that. The bartender, Chase is a raven haired beauty with tattoos in all of the wrong places that will assure she’ll never work a job where she has to pay taxes.

Her bar back is a very pretty, young baby with hair like chocolate and a face that’s made for a painting.

I enter and Trinity’s at the bar sipping a beer and very happy.

I’m stunned that I am in her presence.

A week ago I was so pissed that she ghosted me and I was doing my usual dopamine withdrawal, but she has no idea.

“Hey, Charles… sit where you want. On either side of me.”

“I sit to the right.

I tell the bartender (Hot Chase) I’d like a Yards, Pale Ale. ( I haven’t had a beer in 6 months because I’m not into beer and I figure that would work.

“When does Victory Summer Love Happen?”

“I have it now.”

“Oh God… I want that…”

I am overjoyed that Happy Rooster has my favorite summer beer and I’m sitting next to the object of my desire. (For the moment)

Chase places the ice cold bottle in front of me on the bar and I’m stupid happy to be in this moment.

I turn to Trinity and we toast. I feel the click of the necks of our bottles and then we both tap the bottles on the bar. We sip. “To new friends.”

We both sip from our beers and after the day I’ve had, I describe the taste of Summer Love as kissing the face of God.

I tell Trinity about how I wanted to text her after she ghosted me. How I wanted to say, “This is why you have no friends… you don’t ever get back to them!”

Trinity loved this and laughed saying her friends in Boston say the same thing.

There was much laughter and I could feel our amazing connection.

Trinity was constantly doing all of the things to me that I write about in this blog. Touching her face, grabbing my arm, touching me, etc. Just text book attraction.

I love this.

I just want to hang out with Trinity, and get free drinks at Square with her. I don’t want to hurt her relationship with the boyfriend in Boston.

Ever.

Not cool.

“I’m sorry I ghosted you but my job is so intense i just get so focused on it I forget everything else. I’m sorry. My friends in Boston tell me the same thing.

“You have friends?”

We laughed over that.

I won’t do that to you ever again.”

No worries. I’m happy to have you in this moment. Trinity.”

“I have to go soon.”

“Okay.”

“I have to go meet my boyfriend at the bus station. He’s coming into town in an hour and then we’re going on vacation.

“Finally. You’ve been working your ass off, Trinity.”

Yea. We’re going to Austin and then I’m leaving him and going to see a friend in Colorado. She’s been wanting to see me, and if I’m in Austin I have no excuse not to jump and see her.

I love all of this intrigue. How strong can their relationship be if they are so far apart? Then she leaves him in Austin and sees her friend.

This makes me think back to when Michelle was trying to get back with her ex Dave and was making all the effort and I clipped her because I was present here in the city.

If I got super cranky when Trinity didn’t get back to me after I invited her out for free drinks. that tells me the vibe is on. I love the dopamine vibe.

We walk outside, and smoke cigarettes together. It’s so warm out. A rare day this chilly Spring.

I feel such a strong connection to Trinity and I hope if anything at my age I just get to hang with her again.

I’m literally at that point in my life.

Just to go to the movies would be amazing. Kill some dinosaurs at Dave and Buster’s would be terrific.

I’ve isolated my prey and I really like her.

We flick our cigs and she goes in for the hug.

I like that.

“When I get back from all of this we’ll go to Square and do that thing we talked about.”

“Yes. It’ll all be free.”

“Cool. see then, Charles.”

I tell her the bus station from Boston is in Chinatown.

I watch as Trinity walks away knowing that even though her legs are wrapped in denim they are magic beyond words.

I need to drink with her at Square.

I’ll just flirt with all of my favorites at the salon until Trinity returns.

And compartmentalize the rest of my life as usual.

Welcome to phicklephilly.

 

 

 

If You Exhibit More Than A Few Of These Personality Traits, People Probably Think You’re A Prick

It should go without saying that having the character traits that make one likable is one of the most valuable tools any person could ever possess.

Likable people earn more money, get more ass, and generally have better social lives than their counterparts.

And it makes perfect sense when you stop and think about it.

Let’s face it, no one likes an asshole, and more importantly not a single person – not an employer, not a client, not the guy sitting at the bar – wants to be anywhere near someone they can’t stand.

Just think about the last time you were around a person who, for one reason or another, just rubbed you the wrong way.

Perhaps your gut reaction was to just get the fuck out of dodge and away from that person as quickly as possible, or maybe you even wanted to unleash a violent haymaker against the side of his head to shut him the fuck up.

We typically know right away who we like and who we don’t.

Although without even knowing it, you too may fall into the ranks of an unlikeable person.

Hey, we realize that might be hard to believe – how could anyone not like you? – but it is possible you’re not the crowd-pleaser that you think you are.

What’s encouraging, however, is that even if a person falls into this category, he can rise above it by making some minor tweaks to his behavior. But he must first learn more about what makes him unappealing in the first place before a change is possible.

These attributes are a sure-fire sign that there is room for improvement.

Modest-Bragging

It is essential to be confident and feel like you are the very best at what you do – whatever that may be.

But no one likes a braggart.

Most people are privy to this, even people needing so desperately to brag, so they boast about themselves in a way that almost sounds like they are their worst critic.

These people might do this as a way to fish for compliments or to point out their supposed awesomeness to a crowd.

The guy casually playing guitar at a party might talk about how it would be easier for him to get gigs in his hometown if he didn’t write such obscure tunes.

But what he is trying to say is: Hey, I’m writing music unlike anybody in this area, and I’m smarter, more talented, and more original because of it.

The same goes for the guy who makes fun of himself for being a gym rat when all he is doing is drawing attention to the fact that he works out extensively.

He might as well rip off his shirt and make everyone feel his pecs. That’s what he really wants to do.

People who exhibit this behavior believe that it makes them less of a blowhard, but according to Forbes columnist Travis Bradberry, no one is fooled.

“While many people think that self-deprecation masks their bragging, everyone sees right through it,” Bradberry wrote. “This makes the bragging all the more frustrating because it isn’t just bragging; it’s also an attempt to deceive.”

Always So Serious

There are those people who are so desperate to be revered as passionate that they always try to give off the impression as someone who is absorbed in their work.

At social functions, these people might not laugh at jokes, make jokes of their own, or engage in any of the conversations.

Nope.

They are too busy trying to be seen as intense and focused geniuses to care about having fun.

This is a huge turn-off.

Likable people can be serious about their chosen profession and still cut loose when it is appropriate.

More importantly, they are friendly to others and do not act above them.

“They focus on having meaningful interactions with their coworkers, remembering what people said to them yesterday or last week, which shows people that they are just as important to them as their work is,” Bradberry wrote.

 

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