At some point during online dating, you become so desensitized from all the swiping, that it’s hard to remember you’re looking at actual people.
It’s like in that season of The Bachelorette where literally every guy looked the same.
Dating apps can start to become a lot more about quantity over quality. So to separate yourself from the pack, it’s important to create a quality profile. You know, one where you’re not just doing yoga on top of a mountain like everyone else.
It’s easy to get matches on Tinder, but it’s hard to get actual messages that turn into dates and dates that turn into relationships — if that’s what you’re looking for.
So how can you create the perfect profile?
I asked Meredith Golden, dating coach, online dating expert, and owner of SpoonMeetSpoon, about some tips to make your Tinder profile really stand out. Here are her suggestions:
1. No Sausage
Think you need to be a vegetarian to snag a date? No, that’s not what Golden means.
She explains, “I see a ton of too-tight clothing that simply isn’t flattering. A single girl doesn’t need to be a double zero to get a swipe right, but she does need to look good. Clothing that is too small is unflattering.”
My opinion? In the long run, you want your relationship to be built on connection and compatible personalities. So while an attractive photo might get you more right swipes, body positivity and respect is incredibly important for both you and anyone who will love you.
You should wear whatever you feel most confident and happiest in, and post those photos if that’s true to yourself.
Would you want to go out with that guy who is pouting or posing in every one of his photos? Probably not. But I have to admit, I am very guilty of putting pose-y pictures up on my profile.
I think I look goofy when I smile! I don’t like what it does to my nose!
But Golden says, “You have a nanosecond — LITERALLY — to make a positive impression. A picture showing your beautiful smile conveys happiness. Happiness attracts happiness, and this will increase your chances of a swipe right.”
If you have a happy pic, a guy will envision a happy date, a happy relationship, so on, and so forth.
3. Be Short And Sweet
I don’t go on Tinder to read a novel. Full disclosure: It’s been a while since I’ve read a novel in general.
Golden says, “Long-winded is unattractive on apps. How many times have you been stuck in a conversation with a talker, smiling on the outside, but cringing on the inside, trying to plan your exit. Well, same goes for dating apps, but there’s no need for social graces. Instead, you’ll just get swiped left.”
To summarize? “Short and sweet wins,” she says.
4. Be Positive
No one wants to date a Negative Nancy! Or a Depressing David! Or a… I ran out of names.
“I can’t emphasize this enough. A fair amount, I’ll see, ‘If you don’t plan on ever meeting, what’s the point?’ in a blurb. This is a repellant. Just because you think it, doesn’t mean you have to say it. You catch more flies with honey,” Golden notes.
You might think you’re setting a boundary with a comment like that, but instead, it sounds like an aggressive ultimatum before you’ve even met someone. And that is a red flag.
5. Have Interests
Listing a few interests is better than having no bio whatsoever.
Golden says to have around “three interests” laid out in your profile:
And have a witty and charming anecdote to back up each. These interests are often used as a springboard for exchanges on apps. He swiped right because he thinks you’re cute; influence him to ask to meet because of your witty and charming messages.
I once swiped right on a guy who said he loved string cheese. I asked him if he strings it or bites into it, because only sociopaths bite into string cheese. And tomorrow, I have my third date with him. So voila! Write down your interests! Be interested in string cheese!
Golden gives a few more ideas: “For example, if you say you love adventure, have a great story to back this up: ‘This one time, I was climbing Mount Kilimanjaro…’ not ‘this one time, I was so adventurous, I took a cab instead of an Uber.'”
To summarize, it’s important to be positive. Smile, post photos where you are your best, most authentic self, and make sure to list a few of your interests. But don’t overshare — leave something to talk about once you start messaging.
After reading this, it might be time to redo my own profile.