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Tinder Moments – 18 Strange Tinder Profiles To Make You Cringe Your Face Off

I haven’t done one of these in a while, but why not? These are crazy!

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picture someone in spiderman costume above city tinder spider-Man, 37 Crime fighter at The Avengers less than a kilometre away. Friendly, sensitive, strong sense of responsibility, liberal sexual attitude. Two previous Itrs, neither ended particularly well so now I'm looking for that special someone to hang around with. Good with heights and basic first aid deal breaker ed but not a EDIT INFO

 

18 Strange Tinder Profiles To Make You Cringe Your Face Off

Tinder is a place where people should express themselves, because if you’re looking for a partner for sexy time, or a partner for the not-sexy-times too (which we call a relationship), you should just get it over with and show off your weirdest quirks straight away. Right?! Well that’s what these Tinder people did, and… actually maybe I change my mind. Don’t do what these people did, because people (like us) will laugh at your f*cking weird Tinder profiles. Sorry not sorry. Heh heh.

  • 1
    Selfie girl with glasses blur lips tinder- Done Kelly, 20 24 miles away Active 1 week ago About Kelly Im sentient trash. nonbinary femme queer (im not a woman and don't call me one). I like lots of other stuff: bedroom pop, cartoons, food, puppies, aliens, u name it. STRANGEBEAVER.cOm X

  • 2
    picture man wearing backpack in muddy field tinder Mark, 36 McMaster University less than a kilometer away I'm looking for a girl to dress up like Garfield and eat lasagna off my chest. No weirdos. 102 Friends for Common Connections ID

  • 3
    picture girl long red hair tinder Vegan, feminist, I only date guys with muscles and an income. Anti vaxination. I am a vegan. If your not an atheist you need to check yourself. You know my name, not my story. X

  • 4
    picture blonde girl tinder i love me a guy in a fedora:) just kidding if u wear a fedora don't FUCKING message me RECOMME SYDNEY X

  • 5
    picture girl bright orange hair tinder I'm a chubby non-binary vegan queer. I sling vegan baked goods for a living. I reference Harry Potter on the daily. If you're not down for polyamory then we probably won't get along. Xearning ve only make frie e since M

  • 6
    girl wearing glasses red lipstick tinder About Mary Feminist, vegetarian, journalist, music junkie.

  • 7
    tinder messages Perrity YOU MATCHED WITH PERRITY ON 13/2/17. k-konnichiwa cutie chan; 33 *tips fedora and blushes* *hides behind corner waiting for m'lady to respond* Sent Okay wtf is happening Type a Message... Send GIF

  • 8
    guy taking selfie glasses blue shirt tinder- Tim, 23 Sam Houston State University 40 miles away lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched some woman at that party. him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch X ored Panda/ Tinder

  • 9
    selfie girl hair tinder Done Sydney, 24 18 miles away Active 33 seconds ago About Sydney The only reason I want a boyfriend is so that when I'm singing Fergilicious and it's at the part where she says "I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness he's my witness" I can point to him and he'll do the little "WOOOOH" part because right now I have to do both parts by myself and it's stressful because right after the WOOOOH part I have to get right back into rapping and the transition is hard

  • 10
    girl taking selfie looking drunk tinder Vanessa, 19 18 miles away If what you look for is a girl with personality then you're in luck because I have multiple Don't listen to her X BoredPanda/ Tinder 3

  • 11
    picture girl eating burrito sky tinder - Rachel, 20 1 mile away active 14 minutes ago About Rachel tbh I just want to get some free chipotle out of this

  • 12
    picture pretty girl smiling in tree tinder Megan, 24 37 miles away Active 9 hours ago About Megan I prefer my men out of shape and overly sensitive. X

  • 13
    selfie girl smiling tinder Alessandra, 27 10 miles away Active 1 hour ago I'm married and not interested. I just think Tinder is a fun activity while l poop.
  • 14
    picture girl black hair tinder Nicole, 19 43 miles away Active 41 minutes ago I'm 5'11, and if you couldn't tell I have long brown hair and huge tits

  • 15
    picture blonde girl tinder Chelsea, 23 25 kilometers away Active 1 hour ago If you like celery in soup, I hope you like celery on your children's graves because ur weak, ur bloodlines weak, and you'll never survive the winter

  • 16
    picture girl black hair tinder Samantha, 21 7 miles away Active 1 day ago Standing tall at 5'2" I want to do adult things with you.. "whispers* taxes "panting softly* pay the mortgage *moans* make sure we turned off all the lights, our utility bill was fucking $300 this month

  • 17
    picture girl hose water spraying into mouth tinder Courtney 21 Distance: 14 miles away Active: 51 minutes ago Tagline How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammer...merciless...insatiable... Shared Friends

  • 18
    picture someone in spiderman costume above city tinder spider-Man, 37 Crime fighter at The Avengers less than a kilometre away. Friendly, sensitive, strong sense of responsibility, liberal sexual attitude. Two previous Itrs, neither ended particularly well so now I'm looking for that special someone to hang around with. Good with heights and basic first aid deal breaker ed but not a EDIT INFO

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

 

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5 Tips For The Best Tinder Profile

At some point during online dating, you become so desensitized from all the swiping, that it’s hard to remember you’re looking at actual people.

It’s like in that season of The Bachelorette where literally every guy looked the same.

Dating apps can start to become a lot more about quantity over quality. So to separate yourself from the pack, it’s important to create a quality profile. You know, one where you’re not just doing yoga on top of a mountain like everyone else.

It’s easy to get matches on Tinder, but it’s hard to get actual messages that turn into dates and dates that turn into relationships — if that’s what you’re looking for.

So how can you create the perfect profile?

I asked Meredith Golden, dating coach, online dating expert, and owner of SpoonMeetSpoon, about some tips to make your Tinder profile really stand out. Here are her suggestions:

1. No Sausage

Think you need to be a vegetarian to snag a date? No, that’s not what Golden means.

She explains, “I see a ton of too-tight clothing that simply isn’t flattering. A single girl doesn’t need to be a double zero to get a swipe right, but she does need to look good. Clothing that is too small is unflattering.”

My opinion? In the long run, you want your relationship to be built on connection and compatible personalities. So while an attractive photo might get you more right swipes, body positivity and respect is incredibly important for both you and anyone who will love you.

You should wear whatever you feel most confident and happiest in, and post those photos if that’s true to yourself.

2. Smile

Would you want to go out with that guy who is pouting or posing in every one of his photos? Probably not. But I have to admit, I am very guilty of putting pose-y pictures up on my profile.

I think I look goofy when I smile! I don’t like what it does to my nose!

But Golden says, “You have a nanosecond — LITERALLY — to make a positive impression. A picture showing your beautiful smile conveys happiness. Happiness attracts happiness, and this will increase your chances of a swipe right.”

If you have a happy pic, a guy will envision a happy date, a happy relationship, so on, and so forth.

3. Be Short And Sweet

I don’t go on Tinder to read a novel. Full disclosure: It’s been a while since I’ve read a novel in general.

Golden says, “Long-winded is unattractive on apps. How many times have you been stuck in a conversation with a talker, smiling on the outside, but cringing on the inside, trying to plan your exit. Well, same goes for dating apps, but there’s no need for social graces. Instead, you’ll just get swiped left.”

To summarize? “Short and sweet wins,” she says.

4. Be Positive

No one wants to date a Negative Nancy! Or a Depressing David! Or a… I ran out of names.

“I can’t emphasize this enough. A fair amount, I’ll see, ‘If you don’t plan on ever meeting, what’s the point?’ in a blurb. This is a repellant. Just because you think it, doesn’t mean you have to say it. You catch more flies with honey,” Golden notes.

You might think you’re setting a boundary with a comment like that, but instead, it sounds like an aggressive ultimatum before you’ve even met someone. And that is a red flag.

5. Have Interests

Listing a few interests is better than having no bio whatsoever.

Golden says to have around “three interests” laid out in your profile:

And have a witty and charming anecdote to back up each. These interests are often used as a springboard for exchanges on apps. He swiped right because he thinks you’re cute; influence him to ask to meet because of your witty and charming messages.

I once swiped right on a guy who said he loved string cheese. I asked him if he strings it or bites into it, because only sociopaths bite into string cheese. And tomorrow, I have my third date with him. So voila! Write down your interests! Be interested in string cheese!

Golden gives a few more ideas: “For example, if you say you love adventure, have a great story to back this up: ‘This one time, I was climbing Mount Kilimanjaro…’ not ‘this one time, I was so adventurous, I took a cab instead of an Uber.'”

To summarize, it’s important to be positive. Smile, post photos where you are your best, most authentic self, and make sure to list a few of your interests. But don’t overshare — leave something to talk about once you start messaging.

After reading this, it might be time to redo my own profile.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

How To Improve Your Dating App Profile For 2020 So You Get Way Better Matches

One from the ladies…

For a long time, I left my bio blank on dating apps. I hated reading cheesy bios with lame jokes in them that make it seem like someone’s trying way too hard and I didn’t really get how this would help improve my dating app profile for better matches. I didn’t use any of my allotted 500 characters in the bio section — until recently. It’s not that I had fewer matches without a bio but that my matches didn’t exactly know how to strike up a conversation or hold my interest, which was partly my fault. I didn’t give them any clues about the kind of person I am or the things I’m interested in. I didn’t even link my Spotify or Instagram accounts.

In 2018, I plan on making a few more changes to my dating app profile that will hopefully lead to better matches and more first dates. It’s all part of my ultimate 2020 resolution, which is to give fewer f*cks but get a lot more.

I spend a lot of time swiping through other people’s profiles on dating apps, which uniquely qualifies me to determine which profile hacks actually work and which you should probably leave in 2017. It’s simple, really. Photo of you and a dead fish (or any dead animal, really)? Delete ASAP. Five mirror selfies in a row? Remove at least three of those and get your friends to take some plandids. Listing your anthem as “All Star” by Smash Mouth? Well, I suppose not all that glitters is gold. Here are a couple other things you could do to improve your dating app profile in 2020.

 

1. Update That One Photo You’ve Had On Your Profile Forever

I don’t care how much you love that photo of you on vacation in Cabo San Lucas with your family from three years ago. Surely, you’ve done fun and exciting things since then and managed to capture photo evidence of it. All of the photos on your dating app profile should be recent, especially if you’ve drastically changed up your look within the last few months. You wouldn’t want to be blindsided by an old photo of one your matches who looks completely different now, so don’t do the same to them.

 

2. Mix Up The Order Of Your Photos

Luckily, Tinder will do this for you if you turn on the Smart Photos feature in your settings. Smart Photos will continually test which of your photos give you the best results and periodically select a new one to show first. This is perfect if you live in a college town and you’ve gotten used to swiping through the same people over and over. By keeping your updated photos in steady rotation, you increase your chances of matching with people like you who might be excited to see a new face (or, at least, the same face with a different Snapchat filter).

3. Swap The Emoji Bio For Actual Words

You’re a grownup. You can do this. If you really want to improve the quality of your matches and the conversations you have with them, you’re going to need to say a little more than *pink double heart,* *rainbow,* *prayer hands,* *wine glass.* If the idea of honestly completing your bio makes you feel too vulnerable, try including a quote from a favorite song or movie that best captures your personality.

4. List Your Job Or School

Trust me on this one. A quick way to let people know a little more about you is to include your job title or school’s name in your profile. You’ll be surprised how much you might have in common with someone simply because you both intern at an attorney’s office or took the same classes your freshman year. Plus, if you’re too shy to message your matches first, this is the perfect clue to give them for a thoughtful conversation starter.

5. Play Around With Your Settings Every Now And Then

Every time I adjust my settings on Tinder, I enjoy an entirely new swiping experience. There are tons of ways you can mix things up, like widening your location radius or changing your age preferences. The app will recalculate your pool of potential matches, giving you more chances to swipe right on anyone you might have missed before.

 

6. Splurge On The Paid Version Of Your Preferred Dating App

Premium versions of any dating app are bound to increase your chances of finding the perfect match. For example, on Tinder you can opt for one of two in-app subscriptions. Tinder Plus gives you unlimited swipes, lets you undo any accidental swipes (this is revolutionary), adds five Super Likes to your account every day, and boosts your profile once a month so you can swipe as one of the top profiles in your area for 30 minutes. Tinder Gold offers all of these features, plus the coveted knowledge of who has swiped right on you without you having to reciprocate. Best of all, both of these packages also offer Tinder’s Passport feature that allows you to swipe in any location across the world. Parisian men, here I come.

Technology is only going to keep getting better — you definitely don’t want to be left behind simply because you haven’t looked at your dating app profile since you set it up a few years ago. In 2018, commit to a better dating app profile, better matches, and a better life!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is available now!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

These Tips For Making A Dating App Profile Will Change Your Life

Creating your profile on a dating app isn’t easy. But why should it be? After all, you’re attempting to accurately convey your physical appearance, stellar personality, likes, dislikes, desires, dealbreakers, and much more through just a few select photos and a limited number of characters. So, when it comes to tips for making a dating app profile, you’ll likely take as many tricks of the trade as you can get. The truth is, though, you don’t need a long list with a dozen dos and don’ts in order to create the perfect profile and start getting great matches.

I spoke to three different dating app experts about their top tips for making a dating app profile. Each one gave their best piece of advice on how to capture all of the aspects I mentioned above, and send the right message to potential connections. When it comes down to it, there are really only three simple steps you need to take to build a profile that will get you noticed. There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you’re not just any fish. By taking these three hints to heart, you’ll stand out from the rest of the crowd — in the best and most refreshing way.

1. Choose current photos that accurately represent your personality and lifestyle.

Dating coach and dating app expert Meredith Golden says her number one tip is to have an amazing first picture. “Smiling, looking at the camera, no hat or sunglasses, vertical as opposed to laying in bed, and please have clothing on in the picture,” she says.

It’s equally as important to use photos that actually look like you. The goal is to find someone who likes you for who you are, so there’s no need to be deceiving. “Use accurate, current, everyday pictures,” says matchmaker and dating expert Stefanie Sufan.

“The most important and best tip I have is to take a current photo which truly captures the authentic essence of you, your personality, and lifestyle,” says Claudia Duran, VIP Matchmaker at Elite Connections. “So if you’re a beach lover, take it at the beach. If you’re a coffee shop nomad, take it at a coffee shop.”

2. Include a bio, even if it’s short.

The second rule you should always follow is to include a bio, answer the questions, or fill out whatever personal profile information the app makes available to you. “Write something in the description,” Golden says. “This is what fosters conversation, which is necessary to yield a meet.”

Just like with your photos, when writing your bio, you want to stay true to who you are. Authenticity is the key to making quality matches and achieving the best possible results on dating apps.

“It’s so important to convey who you really are on an online profile to avoid disappointment and wasted time,” says Duran. “The goal should be to actually attract people who would really like you and vibe with your lifestyle in person, so there are minimal awkward surprises on the date. Then it’s just about chemistry.”

3. Stay positive on your profile.

Third, Safran stresses the importance of remaining optimistic, both in your attitude toward dating apps and with the way you present yourself online. “Stay positive on your profile,” she says. “Yes, we all don’t want people with drama or negative people with issues, but putting that in a dating profile isn’t going to screen that out. Participating in dating with an open heart and mind will.”

When creating a dating app profile, being genuine is always your best bet. Choose photos that accurately represent both your physical appearance and personal passions, always include a positive bio, and maintain an optimistic outlook when matching, chatting, and meeting. Follow these three expert-approved rules, and you’ll be set up for swiping success.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

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