6 Ways To End A Sex Drought

When it rains, it pours. Here’s one I’ve had on the back burner for awhile from one of the ladies.

You hear it all the time, and the implication, of course, is that there’s also a flipside: When it’s dry, it’s dry for ages. This is especially true when it comes to sex. Often it feels like the only thing you need to get a guy’s attention is another guy’s attention. Conversely, when it’s been awhile since you’ve done, ahem, the deed, it can feel like it’ll never happen again. Which, of course, it will. It’s only a matter of time. After the jump, for your reading pleasure, a list of helpful tips to get the ol’ ball rolling again. By which I mean: LET’S GET YOU LAID. It’s been too long.

1. Maintain realistic expectations. First things first: Stop looking for your future husband. We’re not out to find you Mr. Perfect, we’re looking to get you laid. Find someone to whom you’re attracted, someone you think is a decent guy. That’s all. You don’t need identical value systems, you don’t have to be on the same page about kids, you don’t need to worry if he’s unemployed. Here’s your one and only guiding line: “I’m looking for someone attractive and kind. I’m going forth. And conquering.”

2. Embrace casual sex. It’s 2020. Let go — if you haven’t all ready — of the double standards put upon women who have casual sex. If you want it, have it. (And safely, of course.) Put all your energy into enjoying yourself (and kicking idiotic terms like “slut” to the curb).

3. Travel. Now, when I say travel, I’m talking as big or small as you want to go. Travel to the new bar that’s 20 minutes from your home instead of 10. Travel to that resort you keep meaning to check out that’s two hours away. Travel across the country. Go to Europe, for god’s sake! Put yourself in a situation that lets you be the new girl. It’s not just that you’re meeting new people — it’s that on levels both conscious and not, you’re expanding your mind and broadening your horizons, and all those sorts of things will create a new level of openness that will only have a positive effect. Are we talking Break-a-Budget-That-You-Can’t-Afford? No. We’re talking figure out what you can afford, and spend it on new sights and experiences.

4. Use Facebook or Twitter to your advantage. We need to make sure people know you’re single and looking. So start using those status updates to just that sort of positive effect! Wait for an instance wherein you’re in a zone of loving your single-dom, e.g. you’re glammed-up and out with your gal pals, and post a tweet or status update wherein you bravely address it. I’m talking something in the spirit of, “The single gals at the restaurant are always the ones laughing the hardest!” In short, don’t be afraid to speak of your single-dom in an online setting. It serves you well to embrace, announce, and relish the status just as often as you can.

5. Tell the elderly. Listen: I’ve gotten more dates from keeping the elderly abreast of my single-gal status than pretty much anywhere else. I swear! I’m talking my grandmother, my grandmother’s friends, and various elderly neighbors. These women have been around a long time, they’ve got a wide network, and they spend a decent portion of their day chitting and chatting with friends. Here’s a group that loves — and I mean loves – to match-make.  They’re just the types you want looking out for you and your cause. The other thing is, and I know this is a broad generalization, but I have personally seen it proven time and again: These women tend to know The Nice Guys, — i.e., your Grandma’s BFF Agnes isn’t going to set you up with Mr. Rude Bartender. No. She’ll set you up with so-and-so’s son who went to overnight camp with her daughter’s daughter 20 years back, a guy who works presently with, oh I don’t know, web content. So the next time these women of a certain age approach you, slow down, settle in, and share your story!

6. Get out of the house! Arguably the most obvious of the points, but just as a healthy and helpful reminder: Your home is for having sex. Not finding sex. Take a moment and consider how many of your mundane, daily activities could be moved to various areas that get just a wee bit more foot traffic than your couch. For example, if you read your paper in the morning at your kitchen table, perhaps get in the habit of reading it over coffee at your local coffee shop. If, in the evening, you love whiling away the hours on the internet, maybe do so on your iPad at your local bar. What I’m saying is, it helps to be available for someone other than a Peeping Tom.

 

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5 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Romantically Attracted To You

Attraction is a funny thing. No matter how much you try to hide it, some signs of it will seep through in someone’s body language. The question is whether the person you’re romantically attracted to notices those signs or not.

But that also extends to you – do you notice when someone has feelings for you? Or are you oblivious to it? Admittedly, most of us don’t go out of our way to look for signs of attraction. On top of that, many of them are very subtle, giving you no reason to pay any attention to them.

1. Facial Changes Can Show When Someone is Romantically Attracted

The face reveals a lot about a person, whether it’s what they’re thinking, how they’re feeling, or how they’re reacting to any given situation. It’s difficult to see any person who is constantly in control of every single movement of their face. Here are some signs to look out for!

· Smiles

Smiles aren’t just a sign of happiness. They signify comfort, enjoyment, appreciation, infatuation, and a wide variety of other positive feelings. As such, a person who always seems to be smiling wide around you may just be into you!

Most people don’t smile constantly throughout the day – they do so when they experience something that makes them do so. And maybe that “something” is your extra-special company!

Sure, faking a smile is totally possible, but many people can easily detect a less-than-genuine grin. It’s unlikely that someone is holding up a totally passable and believable smile for long periods of conversation. So if that certain person just can’t seem to stop grinning whenever you’re around, they may be romantically attracted to you.

· Tilts Of The Head

You may notice that, when you speak, the person who may be attracted to you tends to tilt their head to one side. Their head may be ever so slightly angled. This move has its roots in biology. How?

Well, according to behavioral investigator Vanessa Van Edwards, the subtle movement of neck exposure allows chemicals containing scents and odors – mainly pheromones – to enter the air. It’s a sometimes subconscious, sometimes intentional method of attracting a “mate”!

You can also interpret a head tilt as a sign of trust – the act of exposing a vulnerable location to the person sitting near you. It can also be a cute position that some people naturally adopt when they are listening intently. Whichever way is true, it bodes well for attraction!

· Blushing

Ever notice that your face gets warm when you’re around someone you like? It happens when blood rushes to your face, which can happen due to embarrassment, nervousness, or being flustered. Some of these emotions can occur when you’re attracted to someone.

It’s not obvious in all people, of course, especially in those with darker complexions. But if you have a sharp eye, you may be able to spot blushing in cheeks, lips, ears, noses, or even necks.

2. Signs Of Attention

If you don’t pay attention to someone a lot, chances are you don’t have strong feelings for them. That’s why the way someone responds to you, indicates their attention or reacts to show acknowledgment can greatly reveal how they feel about you. Here are some examples.

· Eye Contact

This is likely the most well-known sign that someone is romantically attracted, among other things. The eyes are the window to the soul, and eye contact indicates interest, encourages honesty and can make you both feel more open to each other. Essentially, it helps to build a connection. (1)

This is especially true if someone looks into your eyes for a long period of time. This can quickly become sensual and alluring. Interestingly, the inverse can also be true – someone who seems too nervous to hold eye contact for a long time may have a big crush and not know how to act because of it.

Regular, long periods of eye contact can also lead to the building of a deeper relationship that is more affectionate. So this eye contact could actually cause both of you to like each other even more!

· Leaning In

Someone who doesn’t want to be around you may seem to slowly back away or put some distance between both of you. But someone who wants to hear more will slowly, subconsciously lean in.

You may notice that this person stands noticeably close to you – as close as they can get. They don’t back away when you approach them first, and they tend to angle themselves so that they are fully facing you. This means they are fully invested in what you have to say – and maybe attracted!

Believe it or not, the direction of their feet can also indicate this. If their feet are pointed towards you, it’s because every inch of them wants to face you, be closer to you, or, at the very least, pay rapt attention you.

· Nodding

When someone repeatedly nods their head as you speak, it may be because they want you to know just how interested and invested they are. It is, however, often an unintentional movement – typically a small form of acknowledgment to what you’re saying because they don’t want to interrupt and break your stream of voice with their own.

3. Posture

Body language and posture make up a huge amount of communication, and many subtle movements can be an indication that someone is romantically attracted to you. After all, verbal communication has to work in tandem with nonverbal communication to get a point across correctly! Here are some areas that may reveal attraction. (2)

· Crossing Legs

Especially common in men, the act of crossing one’s legs and angling them towards someone else is a big sign that someone is interested. It is a way for them to express their attraction in a way that is biologically programmed, so it’s not easy to control – but it is very easy to notice!

· Palming

Palming is the act of holding your hands out, palms facing upwards or outwards usually towards the other person. Typically common in women, this act indicates a sense of vulnerability, honesty, and openness. It often also shows that someone wants to get to know you and is trusting you to get to know them.

· Open Stances

An open posture – such as a wide stance, an open facial expression, or relaxed limbs – are all a sign of comfort and point to a welcoming nature. This person wants to let you into their life, or, at least, into this conversation and all that it entails.

On the flip side, if someone’s posture is stiff and tight, they may be feeling awkward and may dislike the situation that they are in. They may cross their arms, look away, or tense up. If this is happening, it’s fairly safe to say that this person is either not interested or extremely guarded.

· Mirroring

Mirroring is the subconscious act of mimicking the posture or position of another person. For example, if you rest your chin on your elbow, someone who is attracted to you may do the same, effectively mirroring your appearance.

You can also take note of this from afar. If someone sitting several desks away seems to mirror everything you do, they might be secretly watching you.

4. Touch

Someone who likes you may try and find a lot of excuses to touch you. This can build a bond and help create chemistry and tension between two people, especially if you reciprocate. They may do things such as:

  • Lightly punch your arm
  • Touch your hand
  • Put their arm around your shoulder
  • Touch your arm or leg
  • Offer to get something out of your hair

Touching someone is an intimate action, and it can help the person in question to gauge your own interest. The way you react to the touch will tell them whether they should continue to pursue you or give up the conquest.

5. Speech Patterns That Indicate When Someone is Romantically Attracted

Everyone flirts in a different way, but in certain areas, it’s easy to spot someone who is romantically attracted – if you’re paying attention to how they speak. Certain very simple, seemingly casual and platonic interactions can actually be indicators of romantic interest. This is especially true if they are done alongside other signs. Here are a few examples.

· Teasing

Playful teasing is a common habit in those who flirt. It’s done to get a reaction and build chemistry. It can often cause the two of you to share a laugh, and you may even get a couple of inside jokes out of the deal. It builds a good rapport between two people, making it easier for them to relate to each other.

· Compliments

Compliments are a great thing to give and receive, and they increase positive thinking in both parties. If someone is repeatedly showering you with compliments, then chances are, they’re at least somewhat attracted to you. (3)

A few offhand comments of a positive nature don’t necessarily indicate that someone is romantically attracted to you. But repeated compliments that are heartfelt can be a sign of someone trying their very best to impress you or get you to like them.

· Tripping Over Words

Someone who is anxious around you may fumble their words, say the wrong things, or stammer a lot. It can be quite endearing to watch, and it’s a sweet sign that someone is nervously trying to impress you, or is simply too flustered to think of what to say coherently.

· Asking Questions

Asking questions is part of any normal, positive conversation. However, there is one fact across all interactions – people don’t ask a lot of questions unless they’re interested in the answers.

Small talk questions about the weather and how you are can be dismissed as politeness. But someone who is clearly invested in you and asks about many different aspects of you is really trying to get to know you better.

Final Thoughts On Some Hidden Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Romantically Attracted To You

Do you think someone is romantically attracted to you? With an observant eye, some positive thinking, and a little luck, you’ll be able to spot these signs in the person who has caught your own attention. Don’t be surprised when you notice that you display a lot of these signs of attraction when you’re around your crush, too!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Rebecca – Chapter 7 – Cypress and the Oak – Part 4

I met Rebecca 3 years ago on a date. Rebecca has recently made an appearance in my life so I thought I’d re-run this series so everyone won’t have to go back and search for her series to catch up. Enjoy!

Fall of 2016

Rebecca was ripping into her slices. Baby was happy. She seemed liberated from tonight’s heartbreaking tale. I love to see a lady eat. I hope I can cook for her one day.

“Okay, so what ultimately happened to the Hiroshima twins?”

“Well my buddy went back to Belfast to study law to become a barrister and I kept in touch a little bit with the sisters.”

“That was the end of it?”

“Well one night big sister calls me and says that there is some great band playing at Madam Wong’s East in Chinatown. So I go, and she and baby sister are there and the three of us are hanging out. I’m burning pretty clean that night because I’m driving. Now my buddy has been gone for months. Baby sister isn’t into me at all. I’m fine with that, she’s still with older guy. What if that dude was married the whole time and she’s just his side piece? That would be crazy, but I wouldn’t rule it out. So baby sister ends up leaving and I hang with older sister. She’s a great girl, and ex-girlfriend from one of my best friends in the world. We’re living it up and dancing, and having a great time at the show. I wish I remember who was playing. (T-Bone Burnett) But if I can’t remember they couldn’t have been that great. I’m happy to be with her and then she tells me something. She says that when we initially met, she was really liking me. She wanted me but settled on my buddy when she saw I was into her younger sister. I ended up making out with her that night. There was some grabbing under the table but not much else. I wasn’t that into her but she was a sweet girl. I liked the fact that she was always into me though. We both had a great time and then she went home. I never saw either of them again.”

“It’s still a good story.”

“I guess. One of many. One of the more tame ones.”

“Oh really?”

“Well I was in a band.”

“Ok, rockstar, but I still liked the idea that the younger sister was in love with the older gentleman. She knew what she liked.”

“I suppose.”

“Do you go on Tinder a lot?”

“Hardly ever now. I can’t really be bothered with it. It seems so superficial.” (Bold-Faced Lie. I’m writing a dating blog!)

“Me either. I’m kinda done with it. You’ve been amazing tonight. Thank you so much for seeing me and listening to all of my woes. I feel so much better. I’m glad I let it out. I hope you’re not freaked out by it. I know you didn’t ‘Super Like’ me on Tinder but I’m glad we met just the same.”

“Well for the record, you didn’t ‘Super Like’ me either.” I laughed to make light of this nonsense.

“I know it’s all so silly.”

“Well if it’s any consolation, Rebecca, I’m not afraid to say that I super like you now and hope I can see you again soon. You’re smart and beautiful and I’ve really enjoyed our time together. The museum was amazing because of you, and tonight has been wonderful. I’m just happy to be with you. There. Complete transparency, okay?”

“I know we didn’t do the Fringe Festival but I was just trying to think of stuff to do with you and then I went through my crap. Can we plan something soon?”

My heart is soaring. “Of course. Let’s text and or call. Whatever you want Rebecca. To be honest with you I dated an actress for a while and she liked all that Fringe stuff and I kind of hate it all. It’s fringe for a reason.”

“I agree. Maybe we could go to the movies. I don’t care what we see. I trust you’ll pick and it’ll be good. I’m thinking buttery popcorn and candy.”

“I’ll find something good. Maybe I can email you a few previews and we can agree on something.”

“No. You pick. We’re both busy. We’ll make it work. Let’s do a Saturday matinée and then grab drinks afterward so we can chat about the film!”

How great is this? Did I rub a lamp and did this girl come out of it?  We crushed most of the pie. She says how she’s going to be fat from eating so much pizza, but I assure her she won’t gain any weight if none of her girlfriends see her do it, so it doesn’t count. Like eating Snickers bars or drinking alone. Oh, wait, that second one is something else.

The bill comes and there is some pie left and we ask for a box. I say to her how it’s funny that the first part of our second date was her story, and then part two was somehow a tale from my past. She says how she would like to hear more of my stories and is fascinated by life and different experiences. She says she’d love to travel, but it’s expensive. I tell her I just got my passport for the first time. She says she likes to go to the seashore and I hold back that there is a shore house in my family a block and a half from the beach in North Wildwood. Too early. I like to play some great songs, but don’t play the hits too early. Let’s see where this is going. If it somehow progresses, I’d love to take her to the shore. Just to take a break from the city, and commune with nature by the sea. Oh, who am I kidding? It’ll look like a hooker hotel room in Jersey City in the heat of the night.

I insist on paying. Rebecca giggles and tells me I have to pay because her credit card may be maxed our from her last transaction. “Totally worth it.” She says.

It’s late. She has to work tomorrow and save lives. I have to write about this. We walk outside and Philadelphia is surprisingly quiet for once. I’ve had a lovely time with this treasure. The night is clear and the buildings are familiar. I’ve been on this odyssey for the last ten years and all I can think of is ‘Here we go again’. But I love the euphoria of this moment. The exhilaration of new love. I know that’s what it is. No one has said it. She may not even know what it is. She’s had a measure of the pain and searing anguish of love with Derrick, but here it is again. She seems interested in me and may not know what kind of animal she has caught in her snare. But I’m willing to be caught and ready to go.

“I’ve had a wonderful night with you.” She says, taking my hands in hers. She looks up at me. Her eyes are dark and full of light. I don’t question what’s happening. “Thank you so much for your time tonight. I can’t thank you enough. I feel like you fixed me. I have been wearing armor my whole life and when I take it off I always get hurt. I feel like I’m safe when I’m with you.” She lifts her hands slowly and gently touches my cheeks and kisses me gently. Her kisses are soft and sincere.

That’s the difference.

There’s no faking that.

Ever.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Alicia – Chapter 5 – Get Her Number

I used to be at war with my demons and now we’re all on the same side.

I need my sleep from life in general. I wake late on Monday morning. There are things I need to do. They need to happen today. The first day of the week. I have to go deposit my check and talk to Alicia.

There’s no real reason to do any of this, other that the directive that always drives me. I like Alicia my favorite teller, and I want to break the shell of her understanding and take her to a nice lunch. I want to get to know her.

Why?

Why not. I’m attracted to her and her aloofness. That and those arms. It’s weird but it’s mine. There’s something unique about her. If I can just secure some time with her outside the credit union I can learn all about her. Is it for me or the blog?

Do I really want to get to know this stranger that handles my money or am I just doing this to create content for phicklephilly?

Have I done things before that have simply driven the blog? I’m starting to think that I have. I’m managing my current relationship as best I can and all of the facets that come with that but why this teller?

I know nothing about her. She’s behind bulletproof glass. Is this simply a new goal for me to keep my life interesting and drop the dopamine?

I’m starting to think that. Is the art now driving my life?

I don’t have a problem with that but I can feel the anxiety placing its cold fingers around my heart as I climb the steps to my credit union.

I take some deep breaths as I unbutton my overcoat and loosen my scarf.

“I need to get into character and just do this.”

I walk into the credit union and head to the desk. I fill out my deposit slip. My hands are shaking a bit. Am I just nervous or are dementia tremors kicking in from the drinking? I write my name and social security number and it looks like the writing of an old man.

I’m 55. Middle age has got me by the throat, but I still have mad game and after decades of dealing with my anxiety and depression… I can push those loser off me.

I know what I’m going to say. I worked it out all weekend. I’m ready. I’m going to run the program like I always have. I’m so good at this now. I turn to Depression and tell him to cheer up and go to work. I turn to Anxiety and tell him to settle down and just be excited at the prospect of a new lady.

I used to be at war with these demons and now we’re all on the same side.

Get in line.

I’m standing there with my paperwork. There are tellers waiting on customers. Just another boring Monday at the office.

I see her.

Alicia.

Her back is turned and she’s working on something at the back counter behind the teller area.

Fuck! She won’t see me. I’ll have to go to one of these other people.

Bust suddenly she turns and sees me. She smiles.

“I can take you down here.”

Time to close this.

I scamper down to her window. The credit union’s quiet. I need to do this now. I push my check and deposit slip into the slit under the bulletproof glass.

“How are you? Nice to see you.”

“You too.”

This is where the rubber meets the road my friends. The move has to be made now or you will lose forever.

“You said you like french toast.”

“Yeah” she smiles.

“On the weekends brunch goes to 3pm, but during the week breakfast ends at 11am. Most end at 10:30. The only place to get french toast in this city during the week after 11am is Midtown Diner. I’m not taking you there. Great spot, but no. I spoke with my friend Jason at Square 1682. He’s the General Manager. I described the dilemma of your 11am lunch break. He told me if I email him and give him the day we’re meeting for lunch he assured me that you will have french toast for lunch at 11 even though breakfast ends at 10:30. And the french toast at Square 1682 is slammin.”

Alicia is listening intently and smiles. She is delighted by my efforts.

This is how you date my friends.

Go slowly. Build the trust. Make her laugh. Make her feel safe. Be non menacing. Be trustworthy. Be creative. Bend time. Be original. Be extraordinary.

So many men fire off to quickly and blow it. My father taught me to be the lion lying in the grass and doing nothing. Like wine it could take years. Most men aren’t that patient. You have to be if you want something. I’ve waited years for the things I’ve wanted.

If you can do that and be elegant, you’ll close the sale and win the girl.

It may not work out, but it’s never the kill. It’s the thrill of the chase.

That’s the true rush of romance. The best part. The unknown. The excitement of the possibilities.

This could just be a lunch, but I want nothing more from Alicia. I love the idea of the old horse being able to get a lunch date with a beautiful young girl though bulletproof glass can still happen.

I tell her my efforts and Alicia is entranced.

“I can’t do this week, but next Thursday at 11 would work.”

“Perfect. May have your number?”

Alicia grabs a pink post it and scrawls down her phone number. She sticks it to my deposit receipt and thrusts it back to me under the glass.

 

The die has been cast. I’ve won after over a year of desire.

I tell her I’ll push her my contact info in a text. She smiles and agrees.

I’ve done it.

There is a pause and we look into each others eyes. We smile and I realize I have all I need and my transaction is done.

“Okay then. I’ll set it up.”

“Yea. Have a great day, Charles.”

“I have some more checks to deposit so I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay.” (smiles)

I walk out of the credit union. Should I go out and have a celebratory smoke or go eat before my shift at the salon because I have to train the new girl (Eileen or Amelia) tonight?

Go eat. You’ve earned it buddy!

 

Lunch date with hot Alicia!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Rebecca – Chapter 5 – Cypress and the Oak – Part 2

I met Rebecca 3 years ago on a date. Rebecca has recently made an appearance in my life so I thought I’d re-run this series so everyone won’t have to go back and search for her series to catch up. Enjoy!

Fall of 2016

“So we decide we want to go someplace else. We leave the bar and start walking. Simon pulls out a couple of joints and we’re all smoking. Just smoking weed walking down the street. We didn’t care. We’re all giggling and Derrick has his arm around me. We end up at some really dark bar. I don’t even remember where it was. We’re drinking and we’re all pretty messed up. The place is full of people. We’re in the back. Derrick is like, Do you ever go skiing? and I’m like, yea, I have been but I’m not that great at it, but I have good balance. Then he pulls out this little bag with white powder in it. I assume it’s cocaine. I go, Oh… skiing. I had never done coke before, but I know Amber has and she says it’s great. So they look around all paranoid and shit, and literally start spooning it out. Derrick does a hit and then offers me a bump. I just do it. I don’t know why. Amber’s like, “gimme some!” Then she and Simon do some. I couldn’t believe it. Doing coke in a bar? It felt cold in my nose, and I could feel this clear euphoria. It almost felt sobering to do it. But different. Higher. Intense. I can see why people love it so much. You were in a band in California. You must have done it right?”

“I saw what drugs did to my peers. I was more of a beer and whiskey guy. I smoked weed occasionally but never really liked it. A little drugs an alcohol can loosen the mind to create, but I knew people who did loads of drugs and it literally sledgehammered their talent and destroyed them. So no. I steered clear of coke.” (White lie) Get it?

“Oh well, that’s good. But anyway, I know I’ve been blabbing on about this. Long story short, these guys come back to our place and we end up fooling around with them. It was crazy. I guess we were all just caught up in the moment. I think we stayed up most of the night. Well, Derrick and I ended up being boyfriend and girlfriend after that. It felt like he really loved me. I loved him.”

She takes a sip and a deep breath, looking off into the distance, as if trying to visualize a faded past. An image that vanished in her rear view mirror long ago.

“What happened?” I say, concerned.

“We went out for about a year. It was intense. We moved in with each other. Amber had gone off to school anyway so it was perfect timing. Things were great at first. But they always are in the beginning. We always did things together and went places together and partied together like a really great couple. I know he was focused on his music and really wanting to make it. But there were a lot of times when he wasn’t around. Times I wouldn’t hear from him and couldn’t get in touch with him. A girl starts to wonder what’s going on. I even started spying on him. Going to places they were playing. He wouldn’t see me, but I wanted to know what he was up to. I wanted to trust him, but you know when you get that weird feeling in your gut that something’s wrong. Well, his behavior had become more and more erratic. I know he was doing drugs but I just wasn’t into it like he was. We just weren’t connecting like we did in the beginning. Like maybe he was just tired of me.”

“Sometimes he would even get really mad about things that didn’t make any sense. Well, one night I followed him after he left me to do a show, and I saw him making out with this redhead at a bar. He wasn’t even playing with his band that night. She was like all emo or whatever with tattoos and shit. I was devastated. I just jumped on the train and went home. I’m sorry I’m telling you all of this.”

I could see that her eyes were wet with the beginnings of tears. “It’s okay. You can tell me. I’m here.” I took her dainty hands in mine. She sniffed and nodded, holding back the tears.

“That night he had the gall to come home and try to do it with me. I pushed him away. He got all mad at me and I told him what I saw. He denied it at first, but I told him I followed him and saw him. He got really mad and started throwing stuff around. He broke this little snow globe he gave me in the beginning. At that moment I didn’t even care about the globe. He had already broken something far more precious than that stupid thing.”

Okay, now I was getting upset. “My God, Rebecca. I’m so sorry.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks. She took a healthy sip of her drink. I wiped the tears from her face with my thumb. She hugged me. “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s not your fault, Rebecca. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

She sniffed and I offered her a cocktail napkin. (Note to self: Start carrying a clean handkerchief in your lapel pocket.) She wiped her face, and her nose. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m a mess.”

My bartender showed up at the table. “Is everything okay?” he asked. “Yes…yes. She’s just suffering a loss.”

“I’ll bring you another round, yes?” I glance at her. “She smiles and blinking her eyes, nods in affirmation.

He quickly returned. “These are on me guys.”

My man at Tippling is always on point.

“Okay, so that was over a year ago, right?”

“Yes. He took his stuff and left me. I was crushed. Destroyed. I cried for months. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I drank so I could get some sleep. When I would wake up in the morning, I’d just go to the bathroom and dry heave over the sink.”

I could see she was struggling. “So did something happen recently?”

Heavy sigh. “Yes. He reached out to me on social media. I had blocked him from Facebook and in my phone, but I was on Instagram and he got to me that way. I had a panic attack when I saw his name.”

“Let me guess. This happened sometime after you and I went to the art museum.”

“Yea. I know it’s so stupid. He said how he missed me and how he was wrong and had grown so much. And like the idiot I am, I unblocked him in my phone. We met up and as crazy as it seems I was actually happy to see him. He looked a little older and a little more haggard, but it was still my Derrick. We were at a bar up in Northern Liberties. Things felt different. Time had passed. Too much time. I had grown and healed. But old habits die-hard. I just wanted to take a look at him. He said he was really sorry for what he had done. He said it hadn’t worked out with the redheaded slut. She actually ended up cheating on him with some drummer in a band that opened for them. I was actually kind of glad to hear that. But I’m sure he didn’t feel the loss that I had experienced. I had scar tissue on my heart from what he did to me. But I couldn’t let him tear open the sutures and open my old wounds. I work in a hospital emergency room. That shit hurts!”

Rebecca actually laughed at that moment. It had been the first time the whole night. That sound was like magic to my ears. I smiled a knowing smile. Because she didn’t know that I have been down that road twice in my life, and it’s a nightmare.

Love is a many splintered thing.

“So yea, that was a two months ago. I told him that I’m glad he was doing well, but I had moved on after a year and that I was in a relationship with a really nice guy in financial services.” She laughed again. “I could see he was disappointed, but I couldn’t let myself go through that shit again. It was a small chapter in my life and I had to draw the curtains on that dead body. He had me, and he squandered it. I think in that moment he realized that it was really over for good. It was hard to do, but I told him I had to get home to Cole, my investment banker boyfriend. He hugged me, and I knew I would never smell him again. It was like pulling the plug on a fatally injured patient.”

“So that was it?” I took a sip of my rye infused medicine.

“Yea. I went home and put on and episode of Stranger Things and ate an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s and had a good cry. So… that’s why I disappeared for a while. I just needed to think about some things and move forward with my life. So, I’m glad you met up with me tonight. I’m sure you never expected our second date to be this confessional. I really appreciate you listening to all of that, but it felt really good to get it out. I was like a little tree blowing back and forth in the wind, but now I feel more calm. Like the storm is finally over and I’m safe.”

“Well, I’m glad you trusted me enough after one date to see me again and confide in me, Rebecca. Like my profile says, I’m a good listener.”

“Yea…Thank you.” Taking my hand again in hers. “You’re like a strong tree. Good roots  with unwavering branches.”

“Yea, and my bark is worse than my bite!”

She cracked up.

Rebecca was back.

“You’re awesome.” she said as she again hugged me tightly. Oh, that lovely slender neck and her fragrance was sobering and intoxicating in the same breath.

We had our intimate moment, and then paused.

“Are you hungry?”

“I’m starving!” she laughed.

“There’s a great bar called Mix that’s one block from here that has delicious 12 inch brick oven pizzas.”

“That sounds like the greatest idea I have heard all year! Do you think I’m overdressed for pizza?”

“I’m sure you’ll pass they’re rigid dress code, Rebecca.”

And with that she pulled from her hair the thing that was holding it in place, and those rich ribbons of dark chocolate tumbled over her lovely shoulders.

It’s hard to believe that this story could get any better at this point, but it does. The bill came and my guy placed it on the table. I reached for it to access the catastrophic damage to my bank account that 6 drinks at 1 Tippling Place would cost me… plus tip.

But Rebecca was faster, and she grabbed it first. “Uh, uh. This is on me.”

I was in shock. My face, a mask of disbelief and mute protest. “Are you sure?” She looked at the bill. “Yep.” She whipped out her credit card and stuck it in the flap, as she nodded to the bartender.

I instinctively reached for my wallet. “Can I at least help with the tip?”

“Put that way.” She said firmly, giving me a wry smile.

“Will you at least let me buy a lady some pizza?”

She ran her fingers through her hair, fluffing her dark locks. “I’ll think about it.”

The bill returned. She signed it and handed it back. “Come along, Sir. I’m hungry.”

I liked that she called me Sir. I also like that she took my hand, and led me out of there. When we were outside she locked arms with me.

I was in heaven. We’re on our way to eat delicious pizza.

 

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One Thing You Need to Do If Your Spouse Rejects Your Advances in Bed

You give your lover a kiss and caress them but they don’t respond.

You’re lying in bed at night next to your lover. The day is over, there are many things to do tomorrow, but tomorrow is hours and a sunrise away. Co-workers and people in your life are the worst.

They give you a lot of problems, treat you poorly, and you feel unappreciated by them. Thankfully, you’re with someone you love who won’t treat you like those strangers do.

So, you give your lover a kiss and caress them…but they don’t respond.

If this happens once, you can rationalize that your lover is tired. But when this happens over and over again — the lack of response, the half-hearted responses, or the lack of enthusiasm — you come to the conclusion that you’re stuck in a sexless marriage.

Now, you just want to know how to save your marriage from this lack of intimacy…if it can even be saved.

It can make you feel a number of things:

  • Loneliness
  • Shame
  • Your lover finds you disgusting
  • She doesn’t want you
  • She doesn’t need you

You may want to talk about it, but how do you talk to someone who is so emotionally far away from you and is actively pulling away and rejecting you?

This spirals you down into painful thoughts of other ways they show that they find you disgusting or don’t want you.

You’ll think about the times they don’t kiss you goodbye, didn’t say that they love you, didn’t hold your hand when you were out in public, or didn’t pay attention to you when you really needed them.

You start tallying all the evidence to show that they don’t love you. Or even worse, you tally up all the evidence to show that you’re not worthy of being loved.

So, in your shame you attack yourself.

  • You’re disgusting.
  • You’ve gained weight.
  • You haven’t made as much money this year.
  • You’re not home as much.
  • You haven’t given them all the affection they need.

Now, you want to choose how to kill your relationship: arguments or emotional deadness. You want to attack and hurt your lover because you also felt hurt by their rejection. If this isn’t handled, vicious arguments will start or cold and silent resentment will brew. The fights will be disguised and seem like they are about other things.

You will pick fights over how your lover is not cleaning dishes after they eat or not cleaning up after themselves. These arguments will all be attacks that start with, “You don’t…!” They’re all attacks to hurt them because you feel hurt by them.

Can love last this way? No, it won’t. And the only way to save your marriage is to talk and communicate with your spouse.

If you don’t discuss the lack of sex, ambiguous interpretations will come into your mind which will lead to arguments and too often destroys a relationship and family.

The goal of figuring out how to have a conversation about your sexless relationship is to try and determine what is going on through genuinely communicating with your lover. A lot of the time, these issues can be worked through since the lack of sex is a symptom of something deeper that is wrong in the relationship.

If you’re staying and invested in what you believe is a “dead” relationship, there are steps you can take to initiate this painful conversation.

But, a word of caution: not knowing how to value yourself and how to have meaning in your life will keep you in this repetition of staying and investing in a dead relationship.

Examples of this include not saying that you’re feeling sexually and emotionally rejected, having an affair, or exploding in rage.

These are the ways to not adequately ask for what you want in a relationship because you feel you do not deserve to be happy and cannot tolerate the frustration of relationships.

There is one “not so small” thing you can do.

If your lover initiates sex but you’re not in the mood that day because of the millions of things that rightfully exhaust you, empathize with them to think about what it might mean to them to reject them. Even harder to do, ask them about it.

Or do the easier thing and tell them you have a headache, that you’re tired, that you have to wake up early and go to sleep making believe that you’ll take care of this issue tomorrow.

There are solutions out there to the many problems we have in our relationships. You can learn what words to avoid and what to avoid thinking to avoid an argument so you can continue to live in a way that is fulfilling to your lives.

 

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7 Women Who Caught Feelings For Their Best Friends Revealed What Happens When They Confessed

Are you ready for some majorly juicy stories? Well, seven women who caught feelings for their best friends just shared all of the details on Reddit AskWomen. From Harry and Sally to Jim and Pam, we’ve got plenty of examples of best friends falling in love to look to on TV and in movies. In fact, I’d go so far as to argue that it’s one of our favorite romantic narratives. But, obvi, TV and movies don’t always accurately reflect real life. IRL, developing feelings for your best friend can be way more complicated. What if they don’t feel the same way and your friendship is ruined forever? What if they do feel the same way but you just don’t vibe as a couple? What if they start dating someone else and it slowly crushes your soul piece by piece?! You get the picture. It’s daunting. You’re not guaranteed a happy ending like the characters in your favorite shows and movies.

But there is one universal truth that you can take comfort in if you’re in love with your best friend: You’re not alone. Plenty of people find themselves falling in love with their best friends. And, luckily, a few of them shared their stories on Reddit’s AskWomen thread. Read along below as seven ladies share what happened when they started developing feelings for their best friends.

 

Oh god, yes. I was desperately in love with my best friend for ages. I thought he felt the same and was also just too timid to say anything. Then one night we’re out and super drunk already and he pulls me away from the crowd and says he has to tell me something important. I was convinced that he’s about to tell me he loves me, but he was just beating around the bush for a while. I had it and decided to make the first step. I was just about to get up and kiss him when he finally says what he wanted to say and tells me that he’s gay. So that was that.

THEY WERE NEVER ABLE TO GET THE TIMING RIGHT.

Bustle on YouTube

I have and it didn’t turn out well. They actually admitted they had feelings for me first, but by the time I realized I felt the same things had changed between us. I told him, but I had screwed it up again and he didn’t feel the same way. We’re friends still, but he’s dating someone else which is nice since he seems happy with her.

More than anything though I regret taking so long to realize and so long to make a move. I wonder if things would be different if I did something sooner. So if you have feelings for your friend just go for it OP.

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Cherie – Chapter 43 – A Kiss Before Asia

Cherie is going to visit her brother in Japan. The whole family is going.  She’ll be gone for two weeks. It sounds like it will be an amazing trip. I’m going to miss her but we’ll keep in touch. Last weekend was amazing so that’ll have to hold me over, but I thought we could have lunch this week just to see each other one more time before she leaves.

We decide to meet up at Misconduct. The last time we were there it was her 27th birthday. I gave her candy and a gift card to Starbucks. Our relationship was so new back then. Barely a month old. Now we’ll have been together for nearly ten months. Going strong.

I’m sitting at my table (table #12) and who pops over but my friend Mary. (See: Mary -Unexpected Table for Two) Normally she’s not here on a Tuesday, but for some reason she’s here. It’s nice to chat with her. We met up for drinks a few weeks ago and I’m happy she’s in my life.

Cherie arrives and Mary remembers her. She also remembers the cute unexpected way she was a part of me giving Cherie her little birthday gifts that day back in November.

Cherie is wearing a little olive-green vest over what appears to be a silky patterned jumper. It’s the least clothes I’ve ever seen her wear in public. The two strips of fabric can barely contain her breasts, the neckline plummets, there is no back to it, and the shorts are barely there. She looks smoking hot. I love seeing her lovely shapely legs out. It’s actually turning me on that my girlfriend has so little on in public.

Lunch was great and it’s good to buy my baby a meal, because she never wants anything.

Later I’m walking her to her car and she tells me she’s horny. She’s always horny. I’ve never met a woman with a more insatiable sex drive. It’s fantastic, but I sometimes I feel bad for her because she’s worked up and I’m not with her and I can’t help her relieve the urge. I like walking down the street with her. I hope I run into someone I know so I can show off my lovely girlfriend.

We get to her car and she is in a 2 hour parking zone so she has to go. We get in and chat a bit in the air conditioning.

“You’re the perfect guy for me.”

“You’re the perfect girl for me.”

“I love sex and I can really cum a lot of times. I need to release as many as I can. But I need a man who can sustain intercourse for long periods of time. Most men hop on, hop off and that’s it they go to sleep. You just keep going, and going. You’re like the Energizer Bunny!”

“Well thank you for that, Cherie. I love having sex with you so much I want it to last. Anything worth doing, is worth overdoing. I enjoy the journey with you more than the orgasm. That may be hard for some men to believe but it’s true. It’s not about the destination because then our lovemaking is over. I don’t get to see you that much, so I want the intimate moments between us to be memorable and I really want to satisfy the woman I love sexually.”

She kisses me and I kiss her back. It’s a lovely moment. I’ll miss her. I assure her that we’ll keep in touch.

She drives me up to Walnut street and I kiss her goodbye and tell her we’ll keep in touch.

I walk around the corner and light a cig. I head to the salon.

A few hours later I get a text.

“I’m sooo horny!”

That’s my girl.

 

 

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A Unique Gift – Chapter 1

This is part one of a new series I want to write that mixes mind control with transformation elements. This is the first time I have written something primarily based on mind control and while this first part is very smut heavy later parts will have more focus on the mind control aspects for other purposes (as well as smut). I hope you enjoy and please give me feedback, it would really help!

*****

Jack sighed as he made his way to college. At nineteen he felt he should have more of a handle of his life than he did. He was stuck taking classes he didn’t enjoy and working a job he hated to pay for those classes. He had barely any friends and he hadn’t had sex in almost a year. Overall life was pretty dull. He sat down in his least favorite class, economics. Not only did he find the subject exceptionally boring it was taught by his least favorite teacher Miss Jameson.

She was extremely attractive and Jack, like most guys in the class, had grinned when they first saw her walk into their classroom. She was tall, just shy of six feet tall, with long legs, curved hips, a small waist and generously sized breasts. There had been quite the debate over whether they were D or DD. She didn’t just have the body, she had the face to match. She was very pretty with green eyes that was typical of someone with her red hair which she always wore in a neat bun.

Obviously with a teacher like that it was no surprise all the guys had been excited when they first saw her but it had been short lived. They had all soon realized she was a complete bitch. Always serious, always angry and always willing to berate her students for the most minor of transgressions. Jack had quickly learnt to keep his head down, keep quiet and stay under her radar. Which for the most part had worked. He folded his arms and rested them on his desk with his chin perched on top of them as she began her lecture.

She droned on and Jack felt himself getting sleepy as he listened. He wasn’t in the mood to take notes so instead he rested his head on his arms. He didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep until he suddenly heard someone shouting, loudly. He looked up to find the whole room staring at him and Miss Jameson seething with anger.

“I’m sorry am I boring you?” She asked.

“No sorry,” Jack apologized. This was the last thing he needed today.

“So what have I spent the last ten minutes talking about?” Miss Jameson asked. Jack tried to think, he looked at the clock and felt a pang of panic, he had been asleep for almost forty minutes.

“I don’t know,” he admitted to much smirking from his class mates.

“Come see me this evening, we need to have a talk about your performance in this class,” Miss Jameson clipped before turning to the rest of the room and continuing her class. Jack groaned, the last thing he wanted was to spend another hour with her at the end of the day. It wasn’t like detention like back in high school, no that was easy. Turn up, sit there for an hour, catch up on homework and leave. No this was worse. This was going to be an hour of being lectured and berated by the queen bitch.

By the time he got home Jack was exhausted. He made his way back to his house, which was a short drive from campus. It was the only time in his life he had ever been lucky. It was actually his sisters house, she was seven years older than him and seemed to be the lucky one of the family. She had graduated from the same college he was now attending and landed and extremely high paying job, which to Jacks fortune, meant she would be spending most of the next four years out of the country.

As such she had let Jack live in her house. It was close to the college and meant that she didn’t have to sell her house or worry about leaving it vacant for months at a time. So other than a few weekends here and there when she would be home, Jack had the house to himself. He unlocked the door and almost missed the small box someone had hidden behind the plant pot by the door. He picked it up, briefly wondering what was in the small package and went inside. He put the package down and made himself some dinner.

 

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=80

 

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