20 Things All Men Want Their Girlfriends To Stop Doing

When you get into a relationship, you start noticing your boyfriend’s habits, both good and bad and massive and small. The fact that he always forgets to turn the dishwasher on or he keeps buying more sparkling water when there’s a ton in the fridge? Those are two pretty small things and not a big deal at all. But there are other aspects of his behavior that are a lot more important, like how he feels about committing to you.

Just like you want your BF to be nice and have positive habits, he wants the same for you. The truth is that men have a list of relationship grievances that they would really prefer not to see on a regular basis.

Here are 20 things that all men want their girlfriends to stop doing.

20. Texting Your Friends While Hanging With Him

When you’re hanging out with your boyfriend, he really doesn’t want you to be on your phone… and he really, really doesn’t want you texting your friends. This is one of those things that literally everyone seems to do since it doesn’t seem rude.

But it is pretty rude, right? It’s no wonder that guys aren’t big on this.

19. Complaining All The Time

Does anyone like a complainer? No, definitely not, but guys especially don’t enjoy having girlfriends who complain all the time.

You could feel that you have totally legit reasons to be negative, like that one friend who never shows up for dinner plans on time. But to your BF, this is frustrating, and he doesn’t want to hear such negativity.

 

18. Taking Two Hours To Put On Makeup And Do Your Hair

Of course, it’s fun to put on makeup and attempt a new hairstyle (or the same hairstyle and lipstick that you always go for). Is it fun for your boyfriend to have to wait two hours for this beauty magic to happen?

Not so much… which is why this is something else that all men want their girlfriends to stop doing.

17. Bugging Him To Propose Already

It can feel frustrating to watch the months and years tick by and realize that you still don’t have an engagement ring on your finger. However, bugging a guy to propose isn’t going to work.

Men also want their girlfriends to stop asking when they’re going to pop the question and generally bringing this up in an awkward way.

16. Two Words: Couple Selfies

To you, couple selfies are the most adorable thing that you could post. You want to see the positive comments and show that you have such a cute boyfriend.

To your boyfriend, these are annoying. And not something that he wants to be a part of. All men want their girlfriends to stop taking and posting couple photos. They would really love for these selfies to disappear.

15. Two More Words: ‘It’s Fine’

All men definitely want their girlfriends to stop saying “I’m fine.” This is a cliche statement that doesn’t really work.

While it’s tempting to say this in the middle of an argument, it’s not going to deliver the results that you want. Instead of convincing your BF that everything’s cool, he’s just going to be mad that you’re not being honest with him.

 

14. Spilling Secrets (And Anything Else) To Your BFFs

It’s awesome to have a close group of friends, and of course, your BFFs are the people who you want to share so many things with. The problem is that while you have no problem spilling your boyfriend’s secrets (and anything else about your relationship), he’s not that comfy with this. All men want their girlfriends to keep these things to themselves.

13. Calling Him Bae Or Other Annoying Slang

Relationship slang like “bae” has gotten super popular over the past few years, so much so that you honestly think nothing of using these terms.

While you love them and think that they’re adorable, your boyfriend isn’t quite on the same page. When it comes to what men would love for their girlfriends to stop doing, using slang is on the list as well.

 

12. Social Media Oversharing

Your social media followers don’t really need to know every detail of the relationship that you’re in. And yet some people honestly don’t even think twice about oversharing on these platforms.

It’s safe to say that guys aren’t into these kinds of posts and really wish that their girlfriends would refrain from doing this.

11. Inviting Him Out With Your Friends

In super rare cases, a guy will be happy to go out with his girlfriend and her group of friends. It’s much more likely that he doesn’t want to do this at all.

It’s just like how you don’t want to head out with him and his friends. You just don’t get along or you don’t have enough in common, and everyone feels awkward or left out.

 

10. Saying His Mom Doesn’t Like You

Men don’t want their girlfriends to say that their mom dislikes them. It might be the truth. She could be so rude to you. But you should honestly never bring this up.

It’s important to have a good relationship with his family if you’re going to be with him forever, and yet you can’t really convince him that his mom isn’t the nicest person unless he tells you that himself.

9. Getting Angry That He’s Not A Mind Reader

All men would love for their girlfriends to stop expecting them to be mind readers. This happens a lot during fights or when you want him to understand what he did to make you so upset.

Many couples would love being able to read each other’s minds. It would definitely make things a lot easier. Unfortunately, that’s just not a thing. Sure, you don’t want to spell things out for him, but in this case, you totally should.

 

8. Buying Clothes For Him

You could find the nicest hoodie ever, buy it, bring it home, and your boyfriend could still shake his head and say that you shouldn’t have gotten it for him.

A lot of guys don’t want their girlfriends to buy clothing for them since it makes them feel like they’re incapable of doing that themselves. No guy wants their girlfriend to be their personal shopper.

7. Being In A Bad Mood For No Reason

It’s true that sometimes, you’re just not in a good mood. You can’t shake it, you can’t explain it… but you can stop moping around the house and annoying your BF.

The truth is that when you spend all day long being super unhappy, it changes the energy around you and it doesn’t make your boyfriend very happy, either. He would love for you to stop being in a bad mood for no reason at all. It just confuses him.

 

6. Nagging Him And Wishing You Could Change Him

Men don’t want to be changed by the women who they are dating. What’s something that they dislike even more? When their girlfriends nag them to change.

Sure, it could be true that he should dress better or stop using his phone so much. But he doesn’t want to hear these things from the person who loves him. It’s just all kinds of awkward and makes him feel bad.

5. Saying That You’re Bored

Sure, everyone gets bored. But everyone also finds it totally annoying when someone tells them that they’re bored.

Guys want their girlfriends to stop saying that they’re bored, and if you’re in the habit of this, it would definitely be good to stop (and find something interesting to do instead of repeating this over and over again).

 

4. Wanting Him To Stop Seeing Certain Friends

You have a right to dislike some of your boyfriend’s friends. Do you have a right to tell him to stop hanging out with them? Not really.

You wouldn’t love if he told you the same thing about your own social circle, so it’s probably best to steer clear of this type of conversation. Just don’t hang out with them and everything should be fine.

3. Texting Him Too Much When He’s At The Office

There’s a time and place for texting. It can be great to text your boyfriend so you can keep in contact with each other during the day (and maybe say some super cute things to each other, too).

But guys don’t enjoy their girlfriends texting them when they’re busy at the office and have a ton of deadlines and tasks on their plate.

 

2. The Silent Treatment

If men want their girlfriends to stop saying “I’m fine” then they definitely want to stop getting the silent treatment.

What seems like a smart and effective thing to do during an argument is actually super immature and even kind of silly. It doesn’t accomplish anything. Guys would be happy if their girlfriends would stop doing this, that’s for sure.

1. Moving Too Fast

Men also want their girlfriends to stop moving too fast. It’s hard not to want to do this when you like someone so much and if you’re a hopeless romantic.

But guys know that sometimes, moving fast can mean not seeing what’s actually going on or not getting to know each other enough. If girlfriends could stop doing these 20 things, relationships would be a lot smoother (but, of course, you could say that there are things that boyfriends do that aren’t the best).

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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6 Ways To Tell That The Guy You’re Dating Isn’t Going To Last

Relationships have existed since cavemen used their clubs to knock women out, drag them to a cave, and claim, “You mine!” Thankfully, so much has changed since then. Yet for some reason, we still let men hold all the power in relationships, just like we did in prehistoric times. We know we shouldn’t give all our power to a guy, but there are plenty of toxic guys out there who aren’t worth our time.

Why would you let a guy call all the shots? Maybe you allow it because you really love him. Maybe you lack the confidence that you need to take charge. Or maybe you just think that there’s no one better out there.

Regardless, spending all of your energy on the wrong guy ends up wasting precious time that you could spend on literally anyone else. Sometimes we become so wrapped up in our feelings that we don’t even realize that our love is unrequited.

So how do you know whether or not the guy you are investing your energy into is worth your time? Here are six glaring red flags that’ll prove that the guy you’re investing your energy into isn’t worth your time:

1. You’re the one putting all the effort into communicating.

In a balanced, healthy relationship, both partners will make an effort to keep the lines of communication open. It’s be glaringly obvious if you’re the one always initiating conversations, especially if you scroll through your messages.

If you’re unsure how a guy feels about you, take a step back for a few days and see what happens. This is your opportunity to find clarity. Does your phone stay silent? If so, he’s not worth your time because he’s not making any effort to communicate with you.

2. You don’t meet important people in his life.

You’ve been dating for a while, but your outings are always just you and your partner, or on occasion, some of your friends. You have never met his friends or family, and he blows off any conversation about them. If your significant other engages in this behavior, watch out, because he may be pocketing you. If you’re being pocketed, get out of the relationship now. Don’t let a guy string you along and then crush you. Men like that are not worth crying over.

3. He’s keeping your relationship secret.

You want to shout your love to the world, but your guy wants to keep things low-key. You have all your dates in relatively obscure places where no one will see you. Even if he claims that he wants to keep you to himself or save money, these secret rendezvous may be a warning sign that he’s hiding you away. If you feel suspicious that he’s hiding something by hiding you, don’t give into his requests for secret dates. You deserve better!

4. You do all of the digging.

When you’re interested in someone, you typically enjoy learning all about them. However, if you’re all of your conversations with your partner feel like a one-sided interview because they don’t bother asking you anything, then they’re probably not worth your energy in the long term.

5. You’re not his priority.

Maybe you’re dying to see a new movie, but he won’t give you a clear “yes” when you ask him to go. Or perhaps he often bails on you at the last minute and gives you a bunch of lame excuses. Maybe you’re the only one who ever initiates plans because he can’t be bothered to spend time with you. If you don’t feel like his priority now, chances are that you never will.

6. He avoids talking about your relationship’s future.

You don’t have to leave bridal magazines lying around your living room to find out your partner’s stance on marriage. But if you’ve invested a good chunk of time into your relationship with someone, you should have a deep discussion about he sees himself in the future and if that future includes you. If he avoids your efforts to casually discuss long-term goals and aspirations, chances are good that he doesn’t see you as a permanent fixture in his life. If that’s the case, get out before you invest any more of your time in him.

Are you fishing where the bottom-feeders hide or where you find the real catches? If your man is flashing neon warning signs and you are ignoring them, your relationship is not going to end well, so don’t be afraid to get out now. You don’t need to club a man over the head to get him to love you. You’re worth so much more than a man who won’t invest his time in you, so if he’s not worth your time, spend it on you and your friends instead.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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What I Learned About My Husband That Ruined Our Five Year Marriage

Another one from one of my female followers!

It was gradual at first, one red flag, then two.

We were the picture-perfect couple, so bright and shiny on the outside, the ones everyone wanted to be like.

It looked like we had it all, the car, the home, the life. He was the successful sports person, overcoming feats no one thought possible and I was the rock that stood beside him. The one who was always there, supporting him, praising him. But behind closed doors, things are not always what they seem.

I thought he was the love of my life, till death do us part, through sickness and in health. We said these vows in front of hundreds of our friends and family. I thought we would travel the world, have children, support each other as we built our empire. How little did I know that once I had served my purpose I would get kicked to the curb and replaced by a newer version that could give him the next leg up in life.

My world came crashing down two years ago today. I thought the man I had married was kind, caring, generous, selfless. However, this was all a rouse, a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with what has happened and what I endured over the almost five years of our marriage.

It all started when I was 18, the world was my oyster, I had a great job, lots of friends, a loving supportive family and was having the time of my life. Then I met him. He swept me off my feet, filled me with compliments, showered me with gifts and affection, made me feel safe and loved. Our whirlwind romance continued for the next 18 months when we got engaged. He pulled out all the stops. I felt like the luckiest woman alive. Our wedding then followed, an extravagant affair, the party of the year. 300 of our closest family and friends laughed, danced and drank the night away. There were emotional speeches, and an endless array of kisses and laughter and to top it off I was spoilt with my own fireworks display (lucky right!). We were going to have the greatest love story ever. I was on an emotional high that felt like a drug cocktail as potent as cocaine, heroin, and ecstasy, all rolled into one dose.

Over the next few years we traveled, moved, built houses, bought cars and he continued to thrive and flourish in his sporting career. Everyone thought we were perfect. I, on the other hand, was living in a state of anxiety, depression, and hopelessness.

It was only gradual at first, one red flag, then two. The love-bombing and idealization phase of our relationship was over. The gaslighting and devaluation had begun.

He had started to withdraw, sometimes affection sometimes compliments, but mainly time (which he knew was a trigger for me). He would start to blame me, we would fight, he would get nasty, say things he knew would cut deep. He would accuse me of having no life, of having no friends when this was the roadmap he had drawn for me over the past five years. He had alienated me from my friends and family, always giving reasons why I should cut them off or saying things like “why do you care, they don’t do anything for us”.

His interest in his perception to the outside world and the image he displayed became the most important thing. While to the public he would praise me as his rock, would thank me for always supporting him, things were not as they seemed. He had me hook, line and sinker. I was his, I craved his love and affection, he had made me so emotionally reliant on him that my happiness was drawn from his success. My friends were really his friends. I had lost all sense of self.

Then the infidelity started. Sneakily at first but over time he didn’t even try to hide it. When I would question messages, photos, fake online profiles he would say I was crazy, that I was making things up, I was overreacting (another trigger point for me). We would fight, he would apologize then drip feed me compliments to keep me coming back. He knew just the things to break me but knew just the things to keep me running back. To have the person, who you love more than anything, make you feel so low is the most hurtful and painful thing someone can endure.

Family tried to intervene, they could see how toxic things had become, could see the pain I was enduring. I started counseling, alone at first, and then in one final stint to try and save our marriage I asked him to come along. He attended three sessions, the therapist saw through the crocodile tears and called him on it. He didn’t return after that.

Our marriage was over. It didn’t abruptly end one day, the pain was drawn out for a further few months until I told him to leave our home. I was now truly alone, alone in the home we had built to start a family in.

The discarding phase was the most painful and brutal. It was public and it was mortifying. I was kicked to the curb and very swiftly replaced by a more successful, shinier model. Someone who could serve a new purpose of helping him get ahead in life. Money and power were always his key drivers and he had found someone that could accelerate that. Even when separated, he tried to keep the power, control the narrative, lying to anyone who would listen about the reasons we separated, alienating and shifting the blame to his family. Anything and anyone was fair game if it kept up the exterior persona.

As I reflect on our relationship (and after reading the book – Power, Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse) I realized, holy crap, I was married to a narcissist. It’s sometimes not until you remove yourself from a situation that you truly see the red flags, triggers and defining moments.

I wish I had the gift of hindsight, I wish all the people who had wanted to speak up had done so earlier, I wish I had taken back control of my life earlier. Don’t get me wrong, I was not perfect in this situation, I did things I am not proud of. I was in survival mode, protection mode.

To this day, he has still taken no ownership over his actions, apologized to me – not that I expect it – or his family for the immense pain and suffering he has caused them. I reflect on the good times now with a sense of sadness, in the moment, they felt so real, so pure but I will never truly know if he meant them, or if it was all just a plot to make me his puppet.

Whilst I would not wish such pain and suffering upon my worst enemy (or the newer model), I know that I have come out the side a better person. I am finally content with who I am as a person, I have grown through this experience, know who I am, what I want, what I deserve and what I am capable of. I have realized how strong I really am, how much I have to give and how much I deserve to get in return. I have become a better, happier more content version of myself.

I am in a relationship with a man I adore, who treats me with the utmost respect and admiration, I am standing on my own two feet for the first time in my adult life and I’m taking back control. It has taken a lot of dark days, tears, anger and self-doubt to get to this point and writing this article is the final chapter. He did not come out on top. He did not win.

I hope this helps anyone who is currently sitting at home not knowing what to do about their current relationship, whether what they are going through is normal if the grass is greener on the other side. Take my word, through all the rain, there is a rainbow with a pot of gold at the end. It may take weeks, months, years to reach it. But I promise you, it’s worth it.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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