People Who Have Good Relationships Don’t Have To Tell Everyone on Facebook

What makes a good relationship? If I asked this question a few decades ago, you would have started listing: love, care, respect, understanding.

If I asked you the same question forty or fifty years ago, I would have been told that a good relationship is based on respect, loyalty, shared family values, and similar social backgrounds.

There is no need to delve into it anymore, as things have changed. A lot. Nowadays, no one will believe you are happy in love in case they do not see it on social media.

People think you are avoiding commitment in case you do not show them off regularly on social media, and thus causes a strain on the relationship. Actually, new couples officialize their relationship when they post their first photo on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and the like.

Jane Greer, Ph.D., a New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me?: Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, says:

“This is a violation of both your partner’s and relationship’s privacy and only shows your desperate need to feel important and be noticed. It’s more important to look at your relationship through your own eyes than portray it for the world to see and judge.”

Experts agree that in case you constantly feel the need to post about your relationship with your partner, you feel insecure as an individual or in your relationship.

Rori Sassoon, premier matchmaker and CEO of Platinum Poire, maintains:

“Commenting and including your partner on everything you do is what an insecure or codependent relationship looks like. And if it’s your partner who is constantly commenting and including you on everything he or she posts, he or she is either trying to claim you as his or her property or showing signs of codependency.”

The most disturbing truth is that people have become so addicted to social media, that it seriously affects their life.

Jonathan Bennett, relationship expert, life coach, and certified counselor in Columbus, Ohio, explains that people are constantly being shown images of what the ‘ideal’ relationship looks like, and it can put a lot of strain on relationships that don’t live up to “the ridiculous standards set by celebrity couples”.

While seeing all those “happy” people out there, many become depressed and anxious, as they could never afford a luxurious life, and many stay in a toxic relationship just to impress their followers.

A change in the relationship status or deleting all photos with your ex quickly causes a scandal, so you need to explain things to everyone.

Keeping up with the image one has created on social media is difficult and exhausting.

In reality, most truly happy couples spend as much time as they can together and do not worry about what others think of them.

On the other hand, a pair that looks perfectly on social media could be highly dysfunctional in real life. Many people who constantly post inside jokes, pictures of themselves doing romantic activities, and confess their love for each other, are actually doing it to convince everyone else they’re in a happy and healthy relationship, to trick themselves into thinking they are in a happy and healthy relationship.

According to sexologist Nikki Goldstein, people who post the most are the ones are seeking validation for their relationship from other people on social media.

The likes and comments can be so validating that insecure people get their up from them, not the person making the gesture, but what other people will say about it.

According to a 2016 survey of 170 undergraduates in relationships that investigated “the relationship between online self-presentation and offline relational characteristics” found that couples who focused on making it work in the real world, instead of on the social media, were more likely to stay committed and happy in their relationships.

Therefore, you need to break free from the pressure the new era has put on us, and work to make your relationship succeed.

You should not get upset if your partner does not like to post a new photo of you two together, or if you do not chat all the time. What is important is to pay attention to the things that matter, talk face-to-face and spend your free time together, loving and caring for each other.

You do not owe anyone to show that you are happy, you should feel happy instead. Focus on your intimacy, not on the image other people have for you.

Be open with your partner, talk about your desires, plans, problems, ambitions, and dreams. Be honest from the start, as nothing can be created based on lies and pretending. Be yourself instead.

Spend time on your favorite locations, plan your dates, and make sure you have good communication.

Don’t be afraid to forgive and apologize, as everyone makes mistakes. Celebrate each other’s achievements in life, support your partner, and motivate him/her to pursue his/her dreams.

Everyone will post lovely comments on the photos of you two together, but no one will genuinely care when you argue and face difficulties. therefore, make sure you strengthen your relationship regardless of the opinions of others and make sure your partner knows she/he can always lean on you.

Remember, you need to care for the needs of your partner as well, and not only for your own. Pay attention not to stay distant in your relationship our of the fear that you will end up hurt, as in this way, you will both be dissatisfied and unfulfilled.

Honor your relationship to create a healthy base, and enjoy a loving, faithful, and meaningful relationship that will make your life beautiful.

 

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How ‘Karen’ Became The Name For Rude, Middle-Aged White Women

We’ve all met a Karen during our lifetime but we might not have known it. They’re asking for your manager, they’re telling you how much easier you have it than them and they’re presence on Facebook means sharing questionable posts. This is how Karen became the catch-all name for rude, middle-aged white women.

In recent months, a “Karen” has become synonymous with an entitled older white woman with a dramatic bob, hailing Victoria Beckham’s mid-2000s. Dictionary.com defines a “Karen” as:

Karen is a mocking slang term for an entitled, obnoxious, middle-aged white woman. Especially as featured in memes, Karen is generally stereotyped as having a blonde bob haircut, asking to speak to retail and restaurant managers to voice complaints or make demands, and being a nagging, often divorced mother from Generation X.

But it all began, like most things on the internet, out of a meme.

Why Karen?

According to Google Trends, the “can I speak to the manager” meme, featuring a Karen haircut, has been kicking around the depths of the internet since 2014 but only recently has the Karen been padded out with other personality quirks, most of them negative.

Image: Google Trends

The most obvious — her entitlement and how she uses it to justify being a dick (or a Karen) to others.

It’s not exactly known why the name Karen was decided to represent the generation between the boomers and the millennials but Dictionary.com suggests it could have something to do with a Mean Girls or Goodfellas character. It could also be that Karen seems like a name only older Anglo women have, like Janet or Carol or Susan. A young Karen, in the imaginations of the internet, simply couldn’t exist.

But the name hardly matters, it’s what Karen does that defines her.

A Karen, defined

A big part of being a Karen is using authority against others less privileged than you. Asking for the manager because you’re not satisfied with the responses a 16-year-old retail worker gave you is considered a Karen move because a Karen is above mere children. A Karen would also donate to charities helping less-fortunate children overseas but she’d likely side against them if they tried to seek refuge in Australia by any means other than the legal way.

In Australia, a literal Karen went viral after she was filmed attempting to pull down a neighbor’s Aboriginal flag from his house, popularizing the anti-racism hashtag #TooStrongForYouKaren.

WTF!!!! THIS HAPPENED TO MY PARENTS JUST LAST NIGHT pic.twitter.com/MqFfXgmV3z

— Beautifuldeadly Decolonisation (@btddecolonize) December 13, 2019

In February 2020, Australian journalist Dr Julia Baird wrote a column deriding the term as being sexist and belittling a generation of women who fought hard for acceptance and equality. No one’s arguing women from Generation X didn’t but it’s the entitlement of some to pull up the ladder on the generations that proceed them. Life was tough for them so they’re not giving an inch to the ones that follow.

So if you’re being called a Karen for the way you’re behaving, don’t respond like one.

 

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Should You Announce Your Breakup On Instagram? Here’s What To Consider

Lauren, 20, just wanted the freedom to move on from her recent breakup. She dreaded having to rehash the split over and over to friends who’d inevitably ask how her boyfriend was doing. “I wanted people to know I was single, not necessarily to put myself on the market, but just because I feel like they should have the right to know,” she tells Elite Daily. So, two weeks after things ended, Lauren subtly announced the breakup via Instagram Stories, by sharing a photo of herself on her laptop with the caption #singlelife.

As she expected, the photo elicited surprised reactions from friends. “A lot of people responded to it just being surprised that we broke up,” she recalls. “I got a lot of, ‘OMG,’ and, ‘Are you OK?'” Still, she had clear and thought-out reasons for posting that photo. “I’m not going to go around announcing to every girl/guy I see in person that I’m single,” she explains. This was more efficient — not to mention, kind of fun. “I also wanted to stir the pot a little.”

When you get into a new relationship, it’s common to introduce your partner on social media — in many cases, it legitimizes the relationship in the eyes of friends and followers. But when a relationship ends, there’s no clear course of action for how to clue people in. Some exes delete all traces of each other on their Instagram feeds. Others leave old photos untouched and never make an announcement at all. But occasionally, people disclose their breakups publicly on Instagram, with varying levels of detail about why things didn’t work out. You might have seen this play out for celebrities — for example, many former Bachelor couples do this — but regular folks are starting to come on board, too.

This strategy gets the word out quickly, eliminating the need to tell people IRL about your heartbreak. But it has some disadvantages, as well — namely, it involves other people in your love life, whether or not you asked for their point of view. “Generally speaking, you do not need to make a public announcement about your breakup,” explains breakup coach and dating strategist Natalia Juarez. “No matter how well you try to craft your caption, your post will invite a multitude of opinions.” Juarez agrees it can help eliminate awkwardness — but it isn’t the only way to move on.

Portrait of a young and beautiful Japanese Asian woman standing on a bridge during the day. She is a tourist and is posing for her portrait photograph of herself to post on Instagram.

Shutterstock

Instead, Juarez suggests taking a clean break from using social media following a breakup. Going cold turkey might feel like too much, but at least make sure you’re not dwelling on old pictures of you and your ex, or trying to stay constantly aware of what your ex is up to. “Once [you] do come back on, it’s best to remove intimate photos of you and your ex, as well as any other images that are emotionally painful,” Juarez says. “And if you do post, keep it light. Refrain from cryptic, posts with double meaning, or over-the-top inspirational quotes.” If your ex is posting negative things about you, don’t feel the need to retaliate. Juarez cites the iconic Michelle Obama quote to bring this point home: “When they go low, we go high.”

If you really want your good friends to find out quickly, you could also share the news via Instagram’s Close Friends feature, which limits the number of people who can view your story to a small, curated list. You can also just call or text your friends to let them know. “Tell your inner circle and other people you need to tell,” Juarez says. “They can help spread the word on your behalf. Other people may get the message, and for those that are clueless, if they do ask, simply let them know you and your ex aren’t together anyone for personal reasons, and then change the topic.” You don’t have to give anyone more detail than you’re comfortable sharing. Remember that this is your breakup and your healing process, and the only one who can truly understand that is you.

Whatever you do, make sure you’ve thought out what you’re going to post, if anything. The last thing you want is to share something in the heat of an emotional moment that you might later regret. Nancy, 26, remembers seeing a friend post about her breakup publicly one night, only to take down the posts the following morning. “My friend announced that her boyfriend was cheating and back on dating apps, and posted on her stories and her grid calling him a liar,” she tells Elite Daily. The couple ultimately worked things out, but the memory of those posts still lingers among some followers. “She hasn’t posted [with] him anymore, and if anyone comments about it, she gets super defensive,” Nancy says. It’s easy to delete an Instagram story or post, but that doesn’t mean the people in your life will forget it.

The decision to announce your breakup on Instagram mostly comes down to your reason for posting. Consider whether this decision will benefit your happiness down the road, and then choose what feels right. For Lauren, her breakup post did exactly what she’d hoped for — it told the people in her life about her single status. “It did the job,” she says. “This isn’t really the kind of news that spreads like wildfire, so I figured I should just get the news out quickly and efficiently. It worked, and no one was hurt in the process!”

Not every breakup ‘gram has a happy ending like Lauren’s, though. If you’re only looking for instant gratification — to let off steam and vent about your ex — you might one day come to regret your post. But if you’ve thought this through and are ready to share your news of your split with your followers, go for it. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words.

 

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31 Travel Captions For Instagram, Because You’re In A Relationship With Your Passport

The first time I was introduced to traveling, I was in eighth grade and casually scrolling through pictures on Tumblr. Blooming flowers, palm trees, and couples on the beach covered my dashboard. Occasionally, I would repost the images onto my profile or save them to my laptop for later on. Swiping through the cheesy quotes, memes, and #inspo was a total rush. But one day, I came across a pastel-colored picture of a canal in Venice, Italy and stared at it for what felt like forever. I was in awe of its beauty, and overcome with wanderlust. Nowadays, not much has changed, and I find myself scrolling in search of travel captions for Instagram and destinations to add to my forever-growing bucket list.

Can you say the same? Of course. Like me, you remember the first time you thought to yourself, “I want to travel the world.” It may have been earlier in your life, when your mom was showing you postcards from her trips to Paris and a necklace of the Eiffel Tower she picked up at a little boutique. It may have been later, when you were in college and your roommate mentioned studying abroad the following semester and asked if you were interested, too. Either way, you were swept off your feet at the idea of eating croissants, swimming in teal oceans, and seeing the sights that were in your massive textbooks.

You’re still constantly daydreaming about sipping cappuccinos, doing spontaneous things on the weekends, and falling in love with every single part of your life. I don’t blame you. Keep going, OK? Seek out those moments that are made of pure passion and joy, and only take a break to post a picture or two on social media. Here are 31 travel captions for that exact purpose.

Joe+Kathrina/Stocksy

1. “Doing this sweet thing called traveling.”

2. “The world looks beautiful on you.”

3. “You kind of owe it to yourself to do all the things you’ve dreamed of.”

4. “Let the ocean worry about being blue.” — Alabama Shakes, “Hang Loose”

5. “I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.” — Arthur Rubinstein

6. “Relationship status: falling in love with the world.”

7. “The most important thing is to enjoy your life — to be happy — it’s all that matters.” — Audrey Hepburn

8. “There’s no time to be bored in a world as beautiful as this.”

9. “She was just another girl. Playing hopscotch with the stars.” — Atticus

10. “Up in the clouds, on my way to unknown things.”

11. “Wherever you are, be all there.” — Jim Elliot

12. “Love the life you live.” — Bob Marley

13. “Adventure is what happens while you scroll through Instagram.”

14. “I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” — Susan Sontag

Duet Postscriptum/Stocksy

15. “Oh, what a world.” — Kacey Musgraves, “Oh, What A World”

16. “You either love traveling, or you’re wrong.”

17. “Wherever you go becomes a part of you somehow.” — Anita Desai

18. “Thank u, next destination.”

19. “Traveling is always an option.”

20. “The more passport stamps the merrier.”

21. “This is the sweet life. La dolce vita.”

22. “Feeling just peachy about the places I’ve been.”

23. “TBH, I’m running out of space in my passport.”

24. “Be the girl who decided to go for it.”

25. “Love her, but leave her wild.” — Atticus

26. “I’m all about the palm trees and 80 degrees.”

27. “Live by the sun, love by the moon.”

28. “You’ll never know how beautiful the world can be until you go and see it for yourself.”

Andrey Pavlov/Stocksy

29. “Live like a local.”

30. “The waves are calling, so I need to go.”

31. “All she does is travel, travel, travel.”

TBH, you never know what may come of the travel pictures you post on social media. You may inspire the next generation of wanderlusters. You may make someone realize that they can, and should, see the sights, go on the most classic getaways, and have once-in-a-lifetime experiences.

I’m willing to bet you’ll never forget the moment that you realized you wanted to travel the world, so why not create that moment for someone else? It seems pretty crystal clear to me.

 

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Facebook brings ‘Secret Crush’ feature on Dating profile

Secret Crush, as it’s called, lets you express interest in up to nine Facebook friends. The good news is, you have to opt in if you want to participate, so you won’t be bombarded with a bunch of random dating requests if you don’t want them. If someone adds you to their secret crush list, Facebook will send you a notification but will only reveal the name if you pick the same person as your secret crush. Also, if you like our efforts, consider sharing this story with your friends, this will encourage us to bring more exciting updates for you. Facebook Dating services are available on the Facebook smartphone application at present in the following countries: Paraguay, Colombia, Canada, Argentina, Mexico, Brazil, Ecuador, Vietnam, Guyana, Peru, Bolivia, Chile, Uruguay, Laos, Malaysia, Thailand, Philippines, Singapore, and Suriname.

That could entice more reluctant Facebook users to give Dating a shot – who isn’t curious to see whether a friend secretly likes them? You will also be able to share plans about your dates, with your friends and family on Messenger. The redesign makes it easier to access and use Groups, meet new friends, see upcoming events, and ship Marketplace items. Liverpool won’t receive title favors from Newcastle – Benitez City vs Liverpool: Five things you need to know… “My relationship with the city of Liverpool , the club and the fans is there”. Both sides have over 90 points and the race for the crown could be set to go down to the final day. HHS announces rule that ‘protects’ groups and individuals from performing abortions During Facebook’s F8 developers’ conference this week, the issue of user privacy seemed to loom over the event as Facebook announced even more invasive features and joked about the sites numerous data scandals. It is different from Tinder and users are not required to swipe people to like them. The new version of the social media mobile app will be simpler and faster.

First things first: New year, new look, baby! The new look rolls-out in the United States today, and for the rest of the world in the coming weeks. It’s available through the Facebook App, and allows people to control their experience with it. You’ll then be able to speak to each other about that crush. Facebook is working to downplay recommendations from groups known for spreading misinformation, and deleting groups that break the company’s community standards. The number of Facebook users in Vietnam is the seventh highest in the world, with over 58 million people as of a year ago, an increase of 16 percent over 2017, according to a report by social media marketing and advertising agency We Are Social.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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