Want To Meet The One? These Are The Top Places To Look

Knowing how to get a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner, especially without the help of a dating app, might seem like an impossible task in the modern age. However, it’s not as difficult as you might imagine. According to a new study from Compare the Market, 45% of couples still meet either at a social gathering or through mutual friends, and only 7% meet on a dating app. Alas, there is hope!

So fear not, it’s definitely still possible to meet your dream boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, in real life. You just need to know where to find them. Sex and relationships expert for Lovehoney Annabelle Knight breaks down the best places to meet your next partner face-to-face.

Through your uniVERSITY or former school

Somebody you went to school, college or uni with can be a really compatible option for a long-term partner. If you’ve grown up together or come from the same area, then you’re likely to already have a tonne of things in common. Plus, Compare the Market found that 9% of people still meet their partner through education, so it’s definitely a good place to consider starting a relationship.

And even if you didn’t get together with your partner when you were actually at school, there’s still hope later in life. Plenty of us has some kind of missed connection from our uni, college, or school days, someone we wish we’d dated but never actually managed to make it work with. Keeping in touch with uni, college, or school groups and going to meet-ups and reunions can be a great way to get together with old friends, relive your youthful memories, and maybe even hook up with that person that you never got the chance to with at school.

Photo credit: Hinterhaus Productions - Getty Images
Photo credit: Hinterhaus Productions – Getty Images

Social media, obviously

Meeting a potential partner online doesn’t just have to happen through a dating app. There are plenty of ways to meet people through other forms of social media too, with 6% of people meeting their partner on socials, according to Compare the Market. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter can be great places to reconnect with people from your past, but they can also be somewhere to meet cool new people. Friends of friends can be easy to start a conversation with, as you already have somebody in common. Meanwhile, if you see someone you fancy on Insta, take the leap and slide into their DMs (respectfully, of course). What have you got to lose?

Plus, you don’t need to spend time getting to know someone when you do meet up IRL, cos you can find out everything you need to know online beforehand. Put those deep dive ‘research skills to good use…

However, age is also a massive factor when it comes to social media, with 14% of 18 to 24-year-olds meeting on socials, compared to 7% of 25 to 34-year-olds.If you do decide to opt for a dating app or site to find love (or just fun), the top place people surveyed by Compare the Market found a partner was Plenty of Fish, followed by Tinder and Match.com.

Volunteer

Donating your time for a cause you’re passionate about will help you to meet someone with similar values, and that can create cute shared experiences. But, obviously, don’t volunteer somewhere for the sake of getting a date. You should only do it if you want to broaden your network of friends, help an organization that means something to you, and learn. But, it’s through that network that you might potentially meet a new partner.

Photo credit: Juj Winn - Getty Images
Photo credit: Juj Winn – Getty Images

Get out of the house

As simple and basic as it sounds, staying at home is not going to get you that many dates. If you do genuinely want to meet someone, be proactive with your friends and suggest new places to go – galleries, museums, gigs, bars, etc. Basically anywhere that’ll shake you out of your comfort zone and introduce you to new people. If you’re able, try and do something new every week or month which will bring you into contact with new people, whether that’s joining a club or meet up, or a class for whatever hobby you’re into.

Going out the old-fashioned way is still the most common way to meet a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner. As found by Compare the Market, 27% of couples meet at a social gathering like a party, pub or night out. So, don’t be afraid to get out there and start a conversation with somebody new.

Make eye contact

This is like swiping photos in real life. But the difference is the person is right in front of you and able to make a direct connection. You instinctively know who you are attracted to, and there’s nothing wrong in making that clear through eye contact when you are out. Just obviously be respectful of other people’s boundaries, and don’t creep any out – that goes without saying.

Use your friends

In the nicest way possible, use your pals. After all, they know your great qualities, likes, and dislikes. And, crucially, they know better than anyone if someone is a good fit for you. Plus, you know that any potential dates they put you in touch with already have a bangin’ group of pals. Compare the Market’s study found that 18% of people meet a partner through mutual friends, so don’t be afraid to let your mates know you’re up for introductions to new people – you never know where it could lead. Make sure you return the favor and do the same for your single pals too.

Coworkers can also be a great route to finding love, as you likely already have the same interests and goals in life. Plus, the research found that 18% of people still meet their partner in the workplace. That person who caught your eye across the office? Don’t be afraid to start a conversation.

Photo credit: FG Trade - Getty Images
Photo credit: FG Trade – Getty Images
More

Work out

Only 2% of people meet a partner in the gym, according to Compare the Market, but it can be an easy place to start a natural conversation. Just ask them to help spot you or to move some equipment. Plus, if you go to regular classes you’re probably going to see some friendly faces you can chat to.

But the gym isn’t the only workout location perfect for meeting a partner. Try joining a club or a team for whatever kind of exercise you like: triathlons, yoga, hockey, football, etc. Meeting weekly to work out and going for a drink afterward will mean you meet a whole new set of people – and therefore their friends… it’s all about widening your network.

Accept invites

Yes, of course, it can be intimidating to go to events on your own, but it’s normally possible to get a plus one and bring a friend. If not, try and get out of your comfort zone if you can and go on your own. It’s daunting but gets easier with practice. Plus, the chances are your friends who invite you to these events will have cool and interesting mates you’ve never met before. You can always ask them to intro you if you’re feeling shy or awkward.

How to turn dating into a relationship

Sadly, actually going to the right places to find your potential partner is just half the battle when it comes to starting a relationship. Compare the Market found that 33% of relationships started with casual dating, while 32% actually started as platonic friends. Meanwhile, 20% of relationships began through a series of formal dates, with just 9% evolving out of a purely physical relationship. So, next time you start daydreaming about your friend with benefits or f**k buddy turning into an actual thing, think again as it’s not super likely to happen.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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How to Recognize Your Soulmate – 4 Sure Fire Ways to Know

For most people, finding love is the first reason for living.

We spend our whole lives looking for that one person, and when we find our soulmate, we experience the kind of joy that is all too rare.

It’s painful to think that some people might meet their soulmate and not even know it.

For that reason, it is vital that we know how to recognise our soulmate when we meet them.

Luckily, with it being such a central part of life, the signs are quite easy to spot.

1. You Have Instant Chemistry

When you meet your soulmate for the first time, you will be struck by how easy it is to talk to them.

Meeting most people begins with a little bit of awkwardness.

It always comes from apprehension, not being entirely sure of their motives or their attitudes.

With a soulmate, you will immediately be at the same level.

A soulmate will get your references, and you will get theirs. You will share interests and primary goals for life.

In fact…

2. You, Will, Have A Scary Amount In Common

Soulmates usually come from very similar backgrounds in terms of their childhood experiences.

The reason for this is that soulmates need a bedrock of shared experience to create the magic of soulmate relationships.

It breeds understanding between you.

In practice, you will find that you understand where they are coming from and why they think a certain way – and the same is true the other way around!

3. Your Body Will Tell You – And Everyone Else!

The physical effects of meeting your soulmate are sometimes the most obvious ones at the start.

While you might want to hide your feelings when first meeting your soulmate – after all, that’s quite a natural reaction – your body has other ideas.

Unless you have superhuman self-control, your body will give the game away.

Think uncontrollable smiling and laughter, blushing and butterflies in the stomach.

The nature of embarrassment means that you will notice these in yourself straight away – more interesting is to see if you can spot the same things in your soulmate.

4. They’re Excitingly New… Though Strangely Familiar

Meeting your soulmate is an incredibly exciting experience that can leave you reeling for days, awash in a sea of new feelings that you feared you might never experience.

Though the novelty is exciting, when you meet your soulmate, it will be the familiarity that strikes you.

Your soul connection has meant that you have had a connection for your entire life, perhaps many lives before.

In fact, soulmate relationships often develop over the course of many lifetimes.

It has a strange side effect. Many people, when meeting their soulmates for the first time, swear they’ve met them somewhere before, or have known them in a past life.

It is no coincidence and is often more accurate than they think.

And remember, if you are still waiting for your soulmate and are scared they’ll never show, know this:

Everyone has a soulmate out there, and everybody is hard-wired to recognize them when they see them.

Yours is just a little further down the road and will explode into your life. It will always be when you least expect it.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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5 Ways to Flirt With Your Soul to Attract Your Soulmate

Many people are out in the world hoping to find their soulmate. They want to find the person who will fit into their lives amazingly. They want to find that ever-elusive “One True Love” that evades them.

When you’re out in a bar and flirting with the person next to you, how do you know if you’re even doing it right? Is what you’re doing even attracting the right people? The answer depends: are you flirting with your soul?

It sounds complicated, and it can be, but speaking with your very being and soul is what draws the right people in and keeps the wrong people out. Here are some ways to flirt with your soul to attract your soulmate.

5 Ways To Flirt With Your Soul To Attract Your Soulmate

1. Practice Honesty

Honesty is the best policy when it comes to flirting with your soul. Anything founded on lies or half-truths will come back to bite you at the end of the day. Besides, how can you use your soul if you’re masking what it contains? Here are some ways you need to be honest to flirt with your soul.

· Be Honest With Yourself

Flirting with your soul involves knowing yourself well, and the only way to do so is to be honest with yourself. A lot of times, people fear who they are without realizing it, so they ignore their innermost voices in favor of avoiding personal introspection.

That’s why it’s important to be honest with yourself. You have to be confident in yourself, and in order to do so, you have to know yourself and be real about it! So be proud of who you are, practice positive thinking, and know that at the end of the day, your authentic stuff is more than enough!

· With The People You Flirt With

A lot of people embellish their lives and personalities when flirting with new people. This sets the stage for disappointment, a lack of trust, and other issues as you go on.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put your best foot forward – you should always do that! – it just means that you shouldn’t pretend to be someone you’re not to attract others. Your real soulmate will like you just as you are, and may even deem your dishonest self a less-than-suitable match.

· With Your Relationship Desires

There is definitely a line to be drawn regarding reasonable expectations, but that doesn’t mean you cannot go after certain desires, even if they are not the most conventional.

Unfortunately, many people believe that wanting certain things out of a relationship is “greedy” – but it isn’t greedy or shallow to want certain things out of your lifelong partner. For example, you may want a partner who:

  • Aims to travel with you often
  • Loves social gatherings or is extroverted
  • Will cook for the family
  • Has certain political leanings or opinions that align with yours
  • Is a vegetarian, vegan, or has a dietary plan similar to yours

You have to be honest with yourself and what you want. Before you attempt to find your soulmate, take time to determine what you really, truly want in a relationship.

Essentially, don’t settle! Don’t model your desires after successful relationships around you, as every relationship is unique and different. This will prevent discontentment down the line.

Be true to yourself, your desires, and who you are; in this way, seek to forge honest, real connections with others. That’s how you flirt with your soul, and it’s how your soulmate will be drawn to you!

2. Love Yourself and Heal Yourself

It’s important to work on yourself and focus on self-love, instead of searching for someone to help you heal. Not only is seeking a soulmate to make you whole a toxic way to begin a relationship, it likely won’t actually attract a real soulmate.

Of course, the concept of needing to love yourself before someone else can love you is a bit of an exaggeration, but at its root, it’s a good concept to follow. If you’re overly critical of yourself and who you are, you send out bad vibes and negative energy that will repel your soulmate – and everyone else, for that matter.

Self-love is easier than it sounds, though. So here are some ways that you can work in this area!

· Forgive Yourself

It’s not unusual for someone to be extremely hard on themselves. You might feel like your past wrongdoings mean you have to punish yourself forever. You might be stuck in the past due to moments where you messed up.

But you need to learn to be kind to yourself and be forgiving of your past. You can’t grow without making errors along the way; the best thing you can do is learn from those errors, apply the lessons to your life, and move on.

Remember that there is no such thing as failure, as those failures are only stepping stones to success. Learn to take each failure in a positive way, and you’ll be able to do the same for others.

· Work On Healing

Old wounds can make it difficult to move forward. It can cause you to form protective habits to prevent yourself from being hurt again, without truly understanding the wounds you’ve sustained.

Take a moment to examine your so-called emotional baggage. Take a look at areas of your life and behavior that are affected by this baggage. Recognize where your issues come from; then let yourself understand them.

Realize that these problems do not dictate your future and that you can incorporate positive habits to prevent them. Allow yourself to heal and give yourself permission to be happy. Believe that the rest will follow.

· Prioritize Self-Love

Treat yourself well every single day. Listen to your body and mind and what it wants. Be gentle with your mistakes. Do what you can do be happy.

It can feel like an uphill battle at first, but soon, little positive affirmations, moments of kindness, and your self-love habits will become natural to you. You’ll really, truly love yourself more and more every day, opening the door for others to love you.

· Do Self-Care

Everyone needs a break, even go-getters like you! Make sure that your own needs are being met regularly. Treat yourself once in a while and let yourself feel pampered. It’ll do wonders for your mental health!

At the end of the day, loving yourself is attractive. It creates confidence, and your positive thinking will shine through with a bright energy that draws others in. That’s how you can flirt with your soul!

3. Pay Attention To Silence

There is a lot that can be said in silence, often more so than you can hear in audible words. Your connection to a soulmate will occur without the noise – you’ll feel it in the energy, in the air, and intuitively.

Here are some ways to learn to appreciate silence when you’re flirting with your soul to draw your soulmate in.

· Body Language

Nonverbal language makes up a huge portion of communication. If you ignore this, you might miss out on some interesting cues from a soulmate, such as:

  • Expressions
  • Gestures
  • Posture

On top of that, understanding nonverbal language will allow you to be more in control of yours so you can use it effectively when flirting!

· Eyes

Someone’s eyes say a lot about them. Some even say that they’re the window to the soul. Practice good, healthy eye contact when flirting and appreciate what you notice in the other person. Maybe there’s a spark there only you can see!

· Exist

Sometimes, all you have to do is take a step back, breathe in, and allow yourself to exist in a space. Even in a party or large social gathering, learn to appreciate the sounds of the world around you without actively participating all the time.

With a soulmate, you’ll enjoy many comfortable minutes of silence. Even when in a crowded room, you’ll be drawn to each other and will be able to exist in your own private world together. It’s a magical feeling to experience with one another, and in order to get there, you have to learn to be happy with silence.

4. Be True To Who You Are

Your soulmate will be attracted to who you really, truly are. They’re not going to be drawn in by your masks and embellishments. They’re not going to notice you when you tone yourself down to hide your perceived “weird” traits or preferences.

As we mentioned earlier, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of embellishing your life and putting on a mask when flirting. You want others to like you, so you shift into what you think they want – and, often, you get it wrong anyway.

If your goal is to attract your soulmate; other people who don’t like who you are don’t matter. They won’t be a big part of your life, and they definitely aren’t expecting you to change.

So don’t be afraid to be yourself, to be unique, and to be “weird.” Wear the outfits you love, even if your friends say they dampen your chances. Talk about your passions, even the ones others might scoff to hear about. Express yourself boldly and confidently, and even people who don’t like you will have to respect your self-assuredness.

It’s exhausting to wear any kind of mask. To be yourself is the ultimate way to flirt with your soul to attract your soulmate. Don’t put on fake personalities for others – wear your own proudly, and let those who are drawn to you be drawn further in.

5. Have Faith In The Journey

A lot of times, people are so focused on the end goal – finding a soulmate – that they forget how amazing the journey can be. A soulmate relationship is just like any other – it’s a relationship, and you need to be in a good place in your life to sustain it.

Trust that the universe is conspiring to make that happen perfectly. Don’t rush it, don’t force it, and don’t become discouraged. Put your faith in the whole process and continue to learn and grow every day. One day, as you flirt from your soul, your soulmate will find you, and you will find them.

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Flirt With Your Soul To Attract Your Soulmate

Flirting with your soul is an art, and it takes practice. But by being honest, being yourself, and loving who you are, you’ll find that it’s not too hard to grasp. So relax and enjoy the moment. Who knows? Your soulmate might be just around the corner.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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3 Dating Mistakes That Keep You From Getting Close With Your Soulmate

Don’t make these mistakes.

 

There is plenty of relationship advice out there but when it comes to your soulmate, you want to ensure that what you have is not only healthy but also your best relationship.

If you want to know how to build a better relationship with your soulmate, there are 2 things you need to know first:

  • What is a soulmate?
  • Is the person I’m currently in a relationship with my soulmate?

One question I get asked a lot, “Is he my soulmate?” And, I mean a lot. And that may be running a tie with, “When is he going to call?”

The term “soulmate”, while certainly open to interpretation, has in many cases come to mean “the one person with whom I am going to spend the rest of my life in blissful happiness.”

There’s a well-known poem that’s been around for quite a while about people who come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. In many respects, it reflects my personal understanding of what a soulmate is:

  • Not everyone who comes into our lives is meant to be with us for our entire lifetime.
  • Not all relationships are soulmate relationships.
  • Not all soulmate relationships are romantic. Our soulmates might be our parents, siblings, close friends, and others with whom we are not romantically or sexually involved.
  • Not all soulmate relationships are happy.
  • Not all of our soulmates are our life mates.

To delve deeper into the concept of soulmate relationships, authors Brian Weiss and Michael Newton have both written beautifully in-depth books on this subject, and their ideas and experiences are useful and enlightening.

There’s a different approach that may be more helpful and practical when applied to the dating and mating game we all play.

But, before you can do that, you need to be aware of 3 relationship mistakes and major stumbling blocks that push your potential soulmate and life partner away from you.

1. You perceive and want to believe (hope!) that your desired partner is your soulmate

That creates the expectation that the shorthand definition (“The one person with whom I am going to spend the rest of my life in blissful happiness”) applies to your relationship with this person.

2. You have a distorted perception of love

The expectation I just described above makes you accept and tolerate the opposites of a healthy, loving relationship: abuse, neglect, disrespect, and co-dependence.

If you are suffering and tormented by what’s supposed to be “love”, if your self-esteem and self-respect are being crushed by what’s supposed to be “love”, or if you have abandoned your safety and happiness for the sake of what’s supposed to be “love”, you’re in deep trouble.

You may be in a soulmate relationship, but the ending won’t necessarily be the happily ever after one.

3. Your force the facts to fit your desired outcome

Basically, you place the cart squarely in front of the horse. You start by believing the soulmate shorthand. Then, you set out to find that soulmate. And often, you disregard the facts regarding the person or situation you find.

You try to pretzel yourself and/or every potential partner you meet into that belief system, often with disastrous results.

You want to find the special person with whom you can share true love and a deep bond, and make a life with them. But if that erroneous belief in the “ideal” is blinding you to what’s actually happening in the relationship, and if it’s blinding you to another’s bad behavior or ill-treatment of you, you’re unlikely to reach that “ideal” you so desire.

As mentioned above, there is a better approach to building a better (and healthier) relationship with your soulmate.

Even if you and your significant other are fortunate enough to mutually fall in love at first sight, there are some things that still need to happen in order for you to know if this is truly your mate (either true soulmate and/or life partner).

The good news? You get to choose whether or not to participate in the relationship, to improve and positively influence it, or to let it go.

Here are the 3 steps to do it.

1. Date

So for starters: date. By that I mean, interact with each other, spend time together, talk with each other about the things you enjoy; whether that’s opera or sports, trivia games or Shakespeare’s sonnets.

If you keep an open mind and focus on the interactions, you’ll know very soon whether this person is going to remain just a “date” rather than a soul mate. Or you may find he is a soul mate who is not a life mate. Or happily, you both realize you have found your life mate in each other.

2. Mate

Ask yourself, “How does this person treat me? How do I treat him?” Along with the giddy, riding on the rollercoaster flush of love and passion, is there respect and consideration in your treatment of each other?

When he says he will do something, does he actually follow through? Do you? If what people are feeling, saying, and doing are all consistent, the foundation is there for loving and healthy relationships. In other words, these things can show you if you are able to mate — to be soulmates who are also life partners.

3. Evaluate

If things seem to be hitting a major snag it’s time to take a deep breath, step back, and evaluate. Are there changes you can make to your behavior? Compromising on things like activities and accommodating each other’s preferences can be great ways to build on your relationship.

This week, it may be pizza and watching sports for him. Next weekend might be sushi and a museum visit for you.

You can also practice active listening with your partner to find the best communication style for both of you. In this way, you hear what he is saying and he can also learn to truly hear you.

All of these are examples of healthy adaptation and can bring about positive changes and growth. These are ways to improve and build your relationship with your soul mate.

But if you are compromising your principles — doing things that demean you or lower your self-esteem, it’s time to take a long hard look at what’s happening.

If you’re feeling uncomfortable and anxious, that is your intuition or gut instinct trying to protect you from potential harm. It may be time to let the relationship go, either temporarily or permanently.

Even if the person with whom you are involved in a harmful relationship is your soul mate, you still get to choose — and one choice may be not to go through life in this kind of pain. You can choose not to be life mates.

Are there changes the other person can make? We can’t control another’s behavior or make them change. What we can do is communicate honestly about our own feelings and experiences.

If they’ve heard us, they then have a choice — to adapt in order to improve or positively influence the relationship. Or not. And if not, the soul mate relationship may not be a life mate relationship.

No matter what happens, give yourself the benefit of getting to know your partner. As you move through different stages of your relationship, you will discover things about him — and about yourself.

That awareness will guide you to build a better relationship with your mate. Soul mate? Life Mate? Build the best relationship possible, and you’ll know in your heart.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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