Hey there, gentlemen, I am super glad you came here to find out what do girls look for in a guy. In my experience, guys seem to think girls look for things like competitiveness, cockiness, and aggression. In reality, that is not the case.
By being open to learning more about what women want, you are already on the right path.
Before answering what do girls look for in a guy, consider this.
I know you came here for guidance and insight. And don’t worry, I’m getting there. But, before we get into what do girls look for in a guy, I want to offer a bit of a disclaimer.
All girls are different. All girls look for different things. Some girls look for a guy with a successful career. Others may want someone with more free time. Some girls look for a scruffy beard and someone with calluses on their hands, but others want someone more clean cut.
You cannot lump all girls together and think that if you exude what girls look for in a guy, that all girls will be attracted to you. But, by focusing on the parts of yourself that girls look for, you can get noticed by the girls that appreciate you.
You cannot take this list and change who you are to fit what girls look for. If some girls are looking for a guy who shares her religious beliefs, you can’t just start believing in God to get her to notice you.
Rather focus on the traits you already have that girls are looking for. For example, many girls look for a guy close with his family. Be sure to talk about those relationships and maybe even introduce a new girl to your family earlier than usual.
You can improve upon yourself and explore new interests. But changing who you are will not get a girl’s attention. It will probably turn her off that you are not being genuine.
For instance, a girl may look for a guy who cares about his physical fitness, so taking time to balance your diet or workout could be beneficial within dating as well as the rest of your life. But, if working out is not something you are interested in, don’t do it solely to attract a girl. Instead, join a book club if you’re an avid reader.
Being true to yourself is one of the main things girls look for in a guy.
What do girls look for in a guy?
Now that you get how to use this list of things girls look for in a guy, let’s get into the specifics.
#1 Honesty. I know this is so generic. Everyone says this, but not everyone lives up to it. Anyone can say that they are honest but anyone can lie.
When a girl is looking for an honest guy, she doesn’t mean just a guy who doesn’t cheat. She means a guy who talks to her about the good stuff and the bad stuff. She wants a guy who admits when he’s made a mistake. Then makes sure he is the one to tell her about it so she doesn’t have to hear it from someone else.
Honesty is the glue that holds all the other things girls look for in a guy together, so focus on this one.
#2 Masculinity. Masculinity is a pretty popular word on social media right now. Actually, toxic masculinity is the phrase that is thrown around and for good reason. Toxic masculinity is seen in a man who needs to prove his manliness through traditionally male things like cars, violence, not crying or showing emotions, and avoiding the color pink, etc.
This is not the masculinity that girls look for in a guy. Rather, gentlemanliness, honor, and humility are what truly shows masculinity in a man. If you need some examples of a man who shows his masculinity without an ounce of toxic in the mix, there is Chris Evans, Tom Hanks, and Mr. Rogers, just to name a few.
#3 Openness. A girl looks for a guy willing to try new things. This can range dramatically based on the girl. It can mean you are willing to take a spur of the moment vacation or trying a new restaurant.
Openness is also relevant to see things from someone else’s point of view. If you are not open, you are closed. You are essentially stuck in one mindset or view of the world. Being open helps you understand and experience life more fully. Girls want that in a guy.
#4 Respect. Make a note of this one because it is a priority. I am sure you have heard from other guys that girls like to be talked down to or treated badly. That is far from the truth. There are some women that get manipulated by this behavior due to trauma or past dysfunction. No one is looking for that.
What women want is respect. For you to take our words at face value and treat us as equals. Sure, dating comes with a level of flirtatious teasing and challenges. That can all be done without disrespect.
#5 Understanding. Just as a girl understands how bad it hurts to be kicked in the junk without ever actually experiencing it herself, girls look for that empathetic characteristic in a guy. A girl wants you to understand how she is feeling. She wants you to pay attention to her worries and fears.
You may not be able to feel what she is feeling, but by understanding her and empathizing with her, you are trying.
#6 Support. All girls want a guy who will support them through their struggles and their choices. Whether that means being there for her in the midst of family drama or supporting her decision to go back to school or apply for a promotion.
A modern day version of this would be the term “Instagram husband.” This is the boyfriend or husband of an Instagram model that goes out of his way to help her get that perfect photo. He supports her hustle 100%. The opposite of this would be a guy telling his girlfriend not to post that picture because other guys will look at it.
#7 Independence. No girl wants a guy who can’t survive on his own. You should be able to care for yourself and function on your own. It isn’t the 1950’s anymore. A man should be able to do his own laundry and cook his own food.
When a girl sees a guy who still has his mom take care of him or is always in a relationship so someone can do these things, it is a major turn off.
#8 Compromise. Having a willingness to compromise is not only something girls look for in a guy, but it is something that is essential to any relationship. Someone unwilling to compromise on things like a date spot or who drives will not be able to handle bigger issues in the future.
#9 Availability. This is something girls look for in a guy from the first date. Actually, before the first date even happens. Now, I do not mean you must have tons of free time. Just be able to make plans and stick to them.
A sign that a guy will not be available regularly are loosely made plans and being hard to reach. A girl will notice that you take the time to prioritize her.
#10 Self-care. Another word for self-care could be hygiene. But I really shouldn’t have to say that. Of course, a girl is looking for a guy who brushes his teeth and showers regularly, but this should go beyond that.
Girls want a guy who takes care of himself like an adult. This means you clean your bathroom *or at least hire someone to*, wash your dishes, have soap and shampoo in the shower, wash your face, etc.
#11 Confidence. Confidence is something just about all women look for in a guy. A guy who second-guesses himself and is in need of constant reassurance and approval is not only unattractive but can be very manipulative and needy to a dysfunctional level.
Showing that you like who you are and feel good in your own skin will help her see your best qualities.
#12 Acceptance. Just as you want her to accept you and all your quirks or imperfections that make you, you, she wants the same thing. Accept her for who she is. She will notice that. Do not judge her for her choices, her past, or anything else.
So, what do girls look for in a guy? All girls want is for you to be a good person and show it.