12 Things Guys Shouldn’t Text to the Woman They Love

Texting Through Romantic Relationships

It’s true, we are obsessed with our phones. It used to be we talked on phones, but now they are instruments of impersonal communication via texting. It’s sad that relationships hang on this type of interaction. Today I present some advice to you guys about what not to text to the woman you love. In general, women tend to be more sensitive about the following issues; and in general, men tend not to be concerned with some of them. These are not blanket statements because of course there are plenty of exceptions.

The best relationships come from direct, face to face, voice to voice communication. It’s called talking, being together. You can’t hold hands through your device. If you and your honey are texters, whether dating, courting, or married, don’t step on these texting minefields.

1. Birthday and Anniversary Greetings

If your gal (or anyone else for that matter) is having a birthday, sending her a text with a simple Happy Birthday is so impersonal you might as well be sending it to your accountant or mailman. Even worse is Happy Anniversary. She is going to have hurt feelings and probably give you a piece of her mind. Is it too much to ask to take time out of your busy life to buy a card? Or to express yourself in a way that reaches her preferred love language? There are some very romantic men out there who are good at such things, and plenty who are clueless or clumsy with it. Regardless, texting those sentiments are tacky.

2. Declaring Your First “I Love You”

Saying ‘I love you’ for the first time is a huge deal. Sending it in a text is just wrong, lazy, hollow, and inconsiderate. She wants to see the light of tenderness in your eyes and you should want to look into hers. If you think that’s unnecessary, your love is questionable. True love does not hide behind a screen.

3. Marriage Proposals

“Will you marry me?” If you know what’s good for you, and more importantly, what’s good for your girlfriend, and your relationship, don’t pop this question in a text. You are sure to get a “no” and an ear full of rebukes. Besides, why would you not prefer to look into her eyes, and slip that ring on her finger in person? You may think, Well I can do that the next time I see her. But it is not likely you’ll see her again if you pull that little stunt. Texting is impersonal. If you can’t propose in person, you are not ready for marriage.

4. Arguments

Your girlfriend may want to argue with you as much as you do her in text form, but it’s a minefield fraught with danger. Why?

First, because when you are not together face to face you can’t hear the tone of voice, see the facial expression, or see their body language; thus it is easy for you both to misunderstand each other.

Secondly, it’s easier to say unkind things that you wouldn’t say in person. Your inhibitions are freer; Hiding behind your phone screen and issuing harsh words is cowardly.

Thirdly, text arguing involves a lot of time. You may take short cuts in the exchange because you tire out and won’t be thorough in your thoughts.

5. Breaking Up

Texting a break up is the best example of cowardice I can think of. When you want to break up your relationship (this applies to her too), it’s tempting to be calloused and not care how it affects her if there has been bitter discord between you. But this is about being a mature adult. Doing the hard things in life shows strength and character. Lowering the boom on someone with no personal interaction is going to make it easier for you but harder for her. If the relationship has been full of toxicity on one or both sides and will trigger a lot of hurtful drama, a text may be the answer after all but write it at a time when you are calm and can carefully construct it.

The interesting thing about text is that, as a medium, it separates you from the person you are speaking with, so you can act differently from how you would in person or even on the phone.”

— Aziz Ansari, Modern Romance

6. Giving Bad News

Perhaps you hear that her best friend was in an accident and died. Should you text her the news? Heavens no! Bad news to the one you love requires you to be there to comfort them with your warm embrace and words of solace. Give her the news in person. Here are some examples of bad news not to give on a text:

  • Death of a loved one
  • A serious health diagnosis
  • Loss of your job
  • A serious accident
  • A crime committed by someone you both know or being a victim
  • Anything that would be a gross disappointment or tragedy

You can surely think of more.

Don't text bad news.
7. Apologies

Gutless! Text apologies are once again, impersonal. It says you are not courageous or respectful enough to face her in humility. It may feel safer and easier for you, but it may cause her to doubt your sincerity. Not only that, but it robs you both of a chance to have a real heart to heart, to talk things out, and clear up any misunderstandings. You can’t kiss or hug and make up through an electronic device.

8. Sexting

I don’t know many people do this. In fact, none that I’m aware of, but few people share that kind of information. Aside from the immorality of it, and not honoring your and your lady’s body, you also run the risk of it getting into the wrong hands and a big, humiliating mess for both of you. People drop or forget their phones in public places; in someone else’s home; in a place where children or teenagers can get to it.

This would include nude photos. Requesting her to send such photos is degrading her and if it gets into the wrong hands there could be dire consequences. It’s the same if you send her photos of yourself. Respect and honor her and your relationship.

9. Texting and Online Activity While You Are With Her

It is downright rude and boorish to text while with someone. It’s likely the one you love is doing the same thing because that is 21st-century life (that doesn’t make it right or healthy). How can you enjoy one another’s company if your texting others, scrolling social media, or checking the football scores? How can you get to know each other better if you’re on your phone? How do you sustain a relationship if you talk very little? How can you express your interest and love for one another while ignoring each other?

Make changes and encourage your love to put away her phone so you can enjoy each other. Today, many romantic relationships consist of texting and sex. This is shallow, dishonorable, and robbing you both of the delights of a true love relationship.

Don't text when you're together.
10. Gloating About How Much Fun You’re Having Without Her

It’s not wrong for either of you to be with friends while the other is not there. In fact, it’s healthy. If you like to go to the gym with a friend to work out, or she likes to go shopping with her friend, there is nothing wrong with that. But there are times when your time with friends can make her feel left out and that you enjoy the company of others more than her. Gloating through texts about the fun you’re having without her, especially multiple times in a time frame (including photos) is hurtful. Here are some scenarios that would apply:

  1. Going to parties and family events without her.
  2. The habit of spending and demanding more time with the guys.
  3. Telling her outright you prefer the company of others more than her.
  4. Trying to make her jealous by talking about the other women (or taking photos) in your company.
  5. Accusing her of trying to spoil your fun.

Attitude and intentions are the defining factors. Are you deliberately cutting her out because you find your friends’ company more fun? Are you mad at her and want to get back at her? Do you demand your right to go wherever you want with whomever you want, whenever you want, and indicate she is unwelcome? Do you enjoy texting her these things? If so, you will lose her eventually, and rightly so.

11. Jealous Accusations

Unjustified jealous texts can be made by both men and women, but this article is for men. If your girlfriend or wife is out shopping or having lunch with girlfriends, working extra hours, don’t spoil her day by texting her your suspicions she is cheating or flirting; it will damage your relationship. If she’s never given you a concrete reason to believe she’s been unfaithful then it is your insecurity you need to address.

12. Cancelling Last Minute

Emergencies and urgent matters crop up from time to time and we have to cancel something at the last minute. Happens to everyone from time to time. Calling to cancel is best but texting suffices.

The wimp-out is when you’ve canceled in a text after she’s been waiting and ready to go and do it flippantly with no real reason, or you tell her you decided to do something else instead. Boo! Not nice.

Two Set of Keys

You may have caught onto the keywords reflecting the attitude and the heart of the person who sends the kind of texts listed above.

  • Insensitive
  • Cowardly
  • Impersonal
  • Shallow
  • Lazy
  • Hollow
  • Rude
  • Boorish
  • Inconsiderate
  • Hiding
  • Hurt feelings
  • Degrading
  • Dire consequences
  • Risk
  • Humiliation
  • Danger
  • Immoral
  • Robbing
  • Dishonorable
  • Jealousy
  • Demanding
  • Criticism
  • Wimp-out

It’s never too late to learn and apply better communication skills. Here is a list of things guys should incorporate into their texts:

  • Honor
  • Love
  • Respect
  • Affirmation
  • Value
  • Humility
  • Delight
  • Personal
  • Tenderness
  • Touch
  • Personal
  • Comfort
  • Voice
  • Body language
  • Embrace
  • Face to face
  • Being a Man

Hopefully, the message here is loud and clear. Shun the negatives and embrace the positives and you will only gain more blessings in your relationship and develop integrity and a kind and sensitive heart.

What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger.

— Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously, I’m Kidding

One helpful tool is to put yourself in her place. Ask yourself how you would feel if she did the same things. I know some men would take no offense at a text “Happy Anniversary,” or hearing the first “I love you,” but would be hurt by some of the other things on the list. True love wants and gives the very best.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

15 Funny Questions To Text Your Crush When You Want To Make Them LOL

Getting a funny text from a crush can cause a surge of joy that puts a pep in your step for the rest of the day, especially if their texts are so laughable and cute, you end up re-reading them over and over again. But having a successful convo with your crush via text isn’t just about making them chuckle. It’s also about keeping the conversation going long enough to build a connection that could turn into a date. So, if you’re trying to shoot the perfect shot, having funny questions to text your crush on deck will help you make a great impression. Here are some funny conversation starters to get you off on the right foot.

1. “I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?”

2. “If I were a triangle, would you say I was an ~acute~ one?”

3. “I had a dream that you asked me out on a date and I said, “No.” Can I please take it back?”

4. “How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.”

5. “Are you up for making a trade? How about a date for a kiss?”

6. “On a scale from one to 10, you’re a nine… So, will you let me be the one you need?”

7. “You’ve been everything I’ve been searching for… Hey, are you Google?”

8. “What did the rice say to the teriyaki chicken? Honestly, IDK, but would you be down to grab some this weekend and investigate?”

9. “What do you call an everyday potato? A commentator.”

10. “Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?”

Glad overemotive dark skinned lady with curly hairstyle, laughs happily, expresses sincere emotions, being amused by friend, dressed in orange casual jumper, models in studio alone with mockup space
Shutterstock

11. “Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?”

12. “I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Could you try calling it for me to see if it rings?”

13. “What do I have to do to get on your drunk dial list?”

14. “On a scale of one to America, how ‘free’ are you tonight?”

15. “What songs do you usually sing in the shower?”

Try not to take a flirty, friendly conversation with your crush too seriously. Enjoy the lightness that comes with witty, back-and-forth banter and see where it takes you. You never know — this could be the start of something great.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Do You Have Chemistry In Real Life? 3 Signs It Only Works Over Text

You’ve been texting back and forth for days, and you’re already smitten by their flirty remarks and sharp wit. “Could this be the one?” you ask yourself, blushing by the glow of your phone screen — that is until you meet your date in person and your dreams are instantly crushed. Now, you’re wondering: Do I have chemistry in real life, or only over text?

I’ve witnessed this dating debacle firsthand.

“I don’t get it,” my girlfriend Angie* told me, as she lamented about yet another disappointing Tinder date. “We had this amazing back and forth banter going all week, he was super confident and funny. Then we finally meet up and it was awkward AF.”

It’s no secret that our phones play a massive role in dating nowadays — not only are we using them to meet people, but we’re also using them to get to know someone and assess whether they’re a good match. The problem with this is that our communication over text isn’t necessarily a solid indicator of our actual chemistry in person. By the time we meet up with someone, we’ve often already built up an understanding of who they are, based merely on the messages they’ve been sending — and that picture isn’t necessarily accurate.

“I have clients who spend two weeks texting because they want to get to know a person — but the only way you get to know a person is by meeting face to face,” Fran Greene, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and author of The Secret Rules of Flirting, tells Elite Daily. “It creates a sense of false intimacy, which can lead to a huge disappointment. The only way to gauge chemistry is to meet in person.”

Wondering whether your digital chemistry doesn’t quite translate when you’re face-to-face? Here are some signs that the sparks are flying on your phone screen, but not IRL.

You feel like your texting partner and your date are two different people.

You can’t count how many times your date’s texts had you sending the heart-eyes or smirk emoji. Undoubtedly, they have some serious digital game. When you meet in person, however, it’s a whole different story. That flirty charm is nowhere to be found.

“It can go from very affectionate texts to a very reserved and even distant feeling,” says Greene. “This can happen if the ‘vision of your crush’ is nothing like what you imagined even if you have exchanged photos.”

Sometimes you may have to be the one to make some moves to knock down your crush’s walls a bit. You can try breaking the touch barrier by putting a hand on their shoulder or knee while you’re laughing, and see how they respond. Still, if you feel like they were pretending to be someone they’re not, there’s a chance you fell for your texting partner and not your actual date. Maybe over time, your date will be able to open up and show their true selves, and you’ll finally be able to tell whether that chemistry is still there.

You’re doing far more of the conversational work in person.

Over text, your convo felt like a tennis match, with thought-provoking questions and clever responses being tossed back and forth — easy, natural, and equal. In-person, your conversation feels like throwing a tennis ball into the abyss, only to get nothing back. What gives?

“The conversation just flowed over text and when you meet in person, the silences are agonizing,” says Greene. “In-person, your anxiety can influence your spontaneity, and having a warm body in front of you changes everything — it becomes real!”

If it’s the first date, try to keep in mind that your date’s lackluster responses may be a matter of nerves. There’s a chance they might open up over time as they become more comfortable with you, and your in-person convos will match the ease of your texting ones. They could just be a little shyer when it comes to face-to-face interactions — or, of course, you could just have better texting chemistry than you do IRL.

They took their sweet time texting back.

When you’re texting, you have the advantage of taking a long pause to craft the perfect response. That’s not the case IRL — which is why you may feel like the chemistry that was explosive over text simply doesn’t exist in person.

“It’s often easier to text than talk,” adds Greene. “You can add and delete words and use emojis when texting.”

If your conversation is lacking in person, think back to when you were texting. Did it seem like there were some pauses in between their responses? They may have been editing their texts to perfection — and now that you’re making eye contact, they don’t have that luxury. Keep in mind that many of us can’t summon quite the same witty responses on the spot that we can come up with over text. The reality is, however, that your perceived chemistry may be rooted in their ability to edit their messages, which they can’t do IRL.

If you suspect that your texting chemistry isn’t quite matching up IRL, don’t stress. First of all, this is a super common conundrum.

“Because your expectations are off the charts, the likelihood of being disappointed even just a little is the norm,” explains Greene. “The best thing to do is to take a deep breath and don’t be so hard on yourself or your date. You both may be a little nervous because you thought you both found a match — and maybe you did!”

This common dating debacle is why Greene recommends waiting no longer than a week to meet up after you begin texting with your crush. While there may be extenuating circumstances sometimes that delay your date, it’s best not to wait weeks before you hang out IRL.

“It is a huge waste of your time to spend days texting as if you were long-lost lovers,” she added.

Remember: It’s a lot easier to be the best version of yourself over text. Not only do we tend to be more confident behind a screen, but we have plenty of time to weave together smart, quippy responses. The best thing to do is not to make any snap judgments on a first date, as there are lots of factors (mainly nerves) that can come into play and throw off your chemistry. Give your date a chance to relax, and time will tell whether or not the chemistry is still there IRL.

*Name has been changed.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please like, comment, share, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

15 Texts To Send Your Partner When You’re Proud Of Them

Few things feel more gratifying than when someone you love tells you they’re proud of you and genuinely means it. This is especially true if that person is your partner. If your SO has been killing the game lately (maybe they got a promotion or aced a midterm they studied super hard for), they definitely deserve to be celebrated. A great way to start is by texting your partner to let them know you’re proud, and that you really do recognize all the hard work they’ve put in, especially if their love language is words of affirmation.

Whether your SO had their art displayed in a gallery, recently scored big in their sports, or surpassed their goals at work, here are 15 texts you can send to acknowledge all the good work they’ve been putting in lately. Then, take them out for a celebration! Backing your words up with action can cement just how much you admire them.

Texts For When Your Partner’s Been On Fire

1. Want to go out for ice cream/coffee/drinks to celebrate tonight? 😌

2. You’ve really been on your A-game lately, and TBH, I’m taking notes. 📝

3. I’m so proud of you, [insert cute nickname here]. Keep up all the good work!

4. Just want to remind you that you’re killing it! 🙌🏾

5. You’ve literally got this thing in the bag.

Texts To Remind Your Partner Of How Far They’ve Come
Happy cool smiling african man with smartphone sitting on city street over brick wall background

Shutterstock

6. Don’t ever forget: You’ve worked hard to be here!

7. Just wanted to let you know I’m so impressed by all that you’ve accomplished this year.

8Sometimes it just blows my mind how creative and wise you are.

9. Remember when you were [XYZ place of life]? Look how far you’ve come!

10. Hi! Just dropping in to remind you that I love you and that your gifts are much needed in this world.

Texts To Remind Your Partner That You’re Always Going To Be Proud Of Them

11. Hey, [insert pet name here], just wanted to say you’re my favorite person and keep doing what you do.

12. You’re a wonderful, talented human being and I’m so proud to be dating you.

13. Someone as smart and accomplished as you? If we weren’t dating, I’d totally shoot my shot.

14. No matter what happens in the future, nothing and nobody can take away all the cool sh*t you’ve accomplished.

15. You know I brag about you all the time, right?

Whether your SO is always on their grind, just had a wonderful breakthrough, or you’re just endlessly impressed by them, shoot them one of these 15 texts to remind them they’re really flourishing — and that they’ve got you by their side.

10 Texts To Never Ever Send Your Ex (+5 He May Actually Want To Read)

The first few days after you break up with someone can feel pretty weird. You were used to texting this person all the time (with cute emojis included), telling them your every thought, and of course, hanging out with them regularly. Now, all of a sudden, there’s radio silence and all you can think about is what went wrong.

When you’re looking at your phone and wondering if it’s alright to get in contact with your ex-boyfriend, there are definitely some text messages that are totally cool… and some that he would frown at. In the art of breaking up, there’s a fine line between friendly and awkward.

Here are 10 texts to never send your ex, and five that he may actually want to read.

15. Never Send: ‘Who’s That Girl In Your Profile Pic?’

There’s really nothing worse than seeing a photo of your ex-boyfriend with another girl. You might be tempted to text him and ask who the girl in his social media profile picture is.

The problem? This will make you look kind of bad since you’ll look super jealous. This is a text message to never send your ex.

14. Never Send: ‘Remember When…?’

You might also be staring at your cell phone, wondering if you should text your ex and ask him, “Remember when we ate pizza for a week straight?” or “Remember that crazy vacation where everything went wrong?”

You don’t want to text him this, either, because it would just bug him.

13. Want To Read: ‘Want To Come To My Birthday Party?’

On the other hand, when it comes to text messages that your ex-boyfriend might actually want to read, asking him if he wants to come to your birthday party is one of them.

Maybe you said you would stay friends but haven’t made good on that promise. This would be a nice thing to do and a way of breaking the ice.

12. Never Send: ‘What’s Up?’

You never want to send a text that says “What’s up?” This is especially true if it’s late at night. This sends the message that you want to hang out and that you might still have feelings for him.

Even if that’s true, things might get awkward fast, and you probably would rather avoid that.

11. Never Send: ‘I Bumped Into Your Friend The Other Day’

You also don’t need to text your ex and mention that just the other day, you ran into one of his super good friends.

This is a totally unnecessary text message since he’ll probably hear about it. And he might think that you’re just trying to get in touch with him, not really saying anything.

10. Never Send: ‘I Love Your New Haircut’

If you texted your ex that you love his new haircut, that would creep him out. He would wonder how you knew since you haven’t seen him lately, and then he would realize that he posted a new photo of himself on social media.

You know that you check him out online… but you don’t want to make that super obvious to him.

9. Want To Read: ‘No Hard Feelings, Let’s Be Friendly’

Your ex probably wouldn’t mind if you texted him, “No hard feelings, let’s be friendly.” This is a particularly great text message to send if you two have mutual friends or run into each other on a regular basis.

No one likes an awkward breakup, and this would help with that.

8. Never Send: ‘Are You Dating Again?’

You don’t want your ex-boyfriend to ask you if you’re dating again, so you really don’t want to ask him this question, either. The truth is that you don’t need to know this information. You two broke up.

He’s not going to want to give you a straight answer, anyway, and then you’ll get even more frustrated.

7. Never Send: ‘We Need To Talk’

Rehashing the breakup is never a good idea. Yes, even if you thought of the perfect comeback to something that he said, or you think that you can “win the breakup.”

It’s not the best idea to text him “we need to talk.” He’s probably just going to say that he doesn’t want to.

6. Want To Read: ‘I Heard About This Great Job’

Your ex might want to read a text from you saying that you heard about an awesome job that could be his dream one. Maybe you can help him out and refer him for a position that you heard about.

If you two are on good terms, there’s no reason not to send this text message.

5. Never Send: ‘I’m Still Annoyed With You’

If you ever want to text your ex that you’re annoyed with him, that’s not a great idea. You also don’t want to text something that continues the argument that you had or whatever caused the breakup.

This will just start a fight or make him upset, and that’s not that productive, right?

4. Never Send: ‘Did I Leave Any Stuff At Your Place?’

If you text your ex that you wonder if you left anything at his apartment, he’ll be able to tell that you’re looking for an excuse to get in contact with him.

If he’s a decent person, he’ll definitely let you know if you did leave stuff there, so this is kind of unnecessary.

3. Never Send: ‘How’s Work Going?’

This isn’t the best text message to send, either. He’ll be confused that you’re getting in touch with him and he won’t want to tell you too many details.

After all, you’re not together anymore, so you both need to find other people to talk to regularly and confide in.

2. Want To Read: ‘I Just Wanted To See How You’re Doing’

Did you break up on friendly terms? Maybe it’s been a while and you really are curious about how he’s doing. It’s totally okay to check-in and it’s okay to ask him about his life these days.

He’s going to appreciate it and he’ll want to know how things are going for you too, for sure.

1. Want To Read: ‘I Miss You’

Your ex-boyfriend might actually want to read a text from you that says that you miss him. If you really think that you have a chance of getting back together, why not go for it and take a chance?

You never know… he could be waiting to hear this from you, and maybe he was too shy to text you the same thing.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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