9 Harsh Truths We Tend to Ignore at the Beginning of a Relationship, and Then Bitterly Regret It

They say that “love is blind” and they are probably right. We tend to ignore many things about our loved ones, even though these things scream that you need to get out of the relationship. As a consequence, we’re left trying to put a broken heart back together or we just get up one day realizing that we’ve wasted years in a pointless relationship.

This wouldn’t happen if we could tell from the very beginning where it might lead. And sometimes we can: here at Bright Side we came up with most common phrases your date could say to you that are actually signals that you should leave and never come back.

1. “I’m not over my previous relationship yet.”

It’s an honest truth, and you have to accept it and say goodbye — it’ll be better for the both of you. You probably don’t want to be an instrument for your date to forget their ex and constantly compete with them. And you will probably not be happy if they get back together.

Beyond that, it is not recommended for people to start a new relationship right after their previous one or until it’s all over, so it’s better to leave and give your partner some time to figure out their feelings.

2. They complain about all their exes.

Of course, people do get into toxic relationships sometimes, but if it happens all the time, maybe the problem actually has something to do with your date. You’ll probably end up being another “crazy ex” on their list and they will probably constantly stress you out. Do you need that in your life?

3. “I don’t think marriage makes sense.”

When someone says this, they definitely mean it and are implying that they are not going to get married, even to you. And since you’re grownups, this opinion is too hard to change, if even possible at all. If you think the same about marriage, than that’s okay. But it’s crucial to have similar opinions on this topic, so if you actually want to get married, then don’t waste your time.

4. “When I’m angry, I scream and break things. I can’t help it.”

This is a red flag phrase that should never be ignored. It means that your partner is emotionally unstable, and that plates aren’t the limit. You will get your dose of emotional and physical abuse too, even if you don’t think this will happen. Do yourself a favor and disappear the moment you hear (or notice) anything like that.

5. They admit that they could never make a relationship last.

You shouldn’t ignore this phrase, thinking it won’t happen with you. Don’t overestimate the chance you think you have to change your partner. If they say it, they mean it — and in addition, they can even say that they warned you. So if you’re looking for something that can become serious, you’re with the wrong person.

6. They don’t see anything wrong with being late.

When someone is late, they usually apologize for it, no matter how late they are. If your partner doesn’t see anything wrong with it, this is a bad sign. It means that they lack respect for your time, and there is a great probability that they will be selfish and have a tendency to devalue everything about other people. Take note, and find someone who will value you and your time.

7. They admit that relationships aren’t their main focus all the time.

Of course, for some people a career might be their biggest priority, and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, if your date says something like this on the spot without any context, it implies that your date wants to keep things easy. It’s a phrase to let you know that your partner isn’t going to put much effort into your relationship, so just take it as it is and decide if that’s what you want and need.

8. “A man/woman should…”

If your partner talks about their expectations, that means that they expect you to follow them in order to keep up the relationship. If you don’t share these standards, but decide to get into this relationship anyways, it will lead to a lot of stress and tension, so you’re probably better off ending it before it even starts.

9. “You don’t need someone like me.”

No, this not a challenge to prove that your date is wrong. People who are not confident always play the victim, and if you get into this game your whole relationship will turn into you constantly convincing your partner they are great and that they are worth you having to deal with infinite jealousy. In case it’s more like a confident, “Don’t fall in love with me,” you’re most likely dealing with a player. And we are not sure which one of these types is worse.

Sometimes it can also be a polite way to say that it’s your partner who doesn’t need anyone like you. Whatever the case may be, it’s just better to leave in order to not torture either of you.

Which phrases would you add to the list? Do you have your own personal red flag phrases? Let us know in the comments.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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10 Compliments You Can Give That Don’t Involve Appearance

Every day, people pass judgement.

Human beings are social creatures – it’s just simply something that we do. Some of these judgements are small and innocuous. When driving, for example, you’re constantly perceiving and judging what’s going on around you. When you’re at the store, you’re judging which fruit you should buy. When you meet someone new, you’re judging whether or not they’re someone you know.

But these small, innocuous judgements aren’t the only ones we make. At some time or another, we’ve made bigger judgements about people based on their appearance. These judgements can have a significant impact on the happiness and well-being of others.

The way a person looks on the outside is one of the easiest things to cast a judgement about, and the impacts of this on society are clear.

For example, approximately 91% of women say they are unhappy with their bodies and wish they looked the way that women are portrayed in the media. Only about 5% of women reportedly said they felt they had the body type that is portrayed in popular culture.

Of course, women aren’t the only ones impacted by these judgements. According to the Alliance for Eating Disorder Awareness, upwards of 3.6 million men are currently suffering from eating disorders.

Because we’re so easy to judge a person’s appearance, it’s sometimes easy to give compliments based on the bodies of others.

There are many compliments you can give someone that have nothing to do with the way their bodies look.

Here are 20 you can rely on to help build others up without commenting on their bodies.

1. I’m impressed by how resilient you are.

Have you ever known someone who was just so strong they could withstand a tornado of difficulty? Resilient people are awesome, and this is a great compliment to give someone who is especially resilient.

2. You’re such a good listener.

There are a lot of people in the world who don’t actually listen, instead waiting for their turn to speak. Finding a good listener can be like finding a needle in a haystack! If you know someone who you think is a good listener, tell them so!

3. I like how authentic you are.

Authentic people are on a whole different level! Authenticity means not hiding the person they are on the inside. To be authentic requires a great deal of confidence and security. If you know an authentic person, tell them how much you admire that about them.

4. I admire how hard you work.

If you’ve ever worked with someone who cuts corners and doesn’t work all that hard, it really makes people who do work hard stand out. If you’ve got a co-worker who works especially hard, forget their body – tell them how much you admire their work ethic!

5. You are dependable.

Sometimes it can seem like everyone depends on you but you can’t really depend on anyone but yourself. Still, once in a while, you meet someone who you can lean on whenever you need to and vice versa. Tell them you appreciate how dependable they are!

6. I’m lucky to know you.

This might be my favorite compliment on this list. There are a lot of people in this world. We are truly lucky to have the people we do in our lives. Tell them so! I feel so good giving out this compliment and receiving it too.

7. Your laugh is contagious.

Have you ever known someone whose laugh can just make a room erupt? They’re one of my favorite kinds of people. Telling them how contagious their laugh is will help them laugh more easily.

8. I am amazed by your progress.

Think back on those figures about body positivity I shared earlier. A lot of people are working hard to look like the person they want to. Sometimes they’re doing it for themselves, sometimes others. But regardless, if you know someone working hard to a goal, tell them how much you admire the progress they’ve made. It’ll help keep them going!

9. You’re a strong person.

Even the strongest people in the world feel weak from time to time. It helps to be reminded by others that you are, in fact, an incredibly strong person.

10. Everyone loves you.

The world can be filled with love or it can be filled with hate. It really is our choice. For me, I choose love over hate. And I like to remind the amazing people in my life that they are loved. It’s a kind thing to do.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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15 Subtle Signs a Coworker Likes You & Is Deeply Infatuated by You

Before making your move on a coworker, you want to make sure there is some interest. So, you need to know the subtle signs a coworker likes you.

Many couples meet at work, but it is always a little risky to go for it in the beginning. You don’t want to get a reputation or embarrass yourself. None of us want to put our jobs in jeopardy, so knowing the subtle signs a coworker likes you helps make this choice a whole lot simpler.

Hitting on a stranger and getting rejected at a bar stings for a minute, but knowing you’ll never see them again takes away that rejection quickly. If you were to ask out a coworker without knowing whether or not they like you, things at work could get weird.

Do you already know the subtle signs a coworker likes you?

When you are nervous about asking out a coworker, you may be psyching yourself out. There is a good chance you already know the signs a coworker likes you but are overlooking them due to fear.

Instead, reassess your interactions with this person. Sometimes you don’t even need to know the signs a coworker likes you, you just need to feel a vibe.

If you still can’t clear your judgment, ask a trusted friend at work who will tell you what they see. Sometimes an outside perspective is exactly what you need. Getting insight from a third party can give you all the answers you need before making a move. 

How to spot the subtle signs a coworker likes you

If that didn’t help, and you are still unsure whether or not a coworker likes you, amp up your observation skills.

I’m sure you are already a touch nervous during your interactions with this coworker and are focused on your flirting skills. If you want to be sure your coworker likes you, you’ll have to be hyper-aware.

Because, just like you, they are probably nervous about liking someone from work. The signs this coworker likes you will be subtle. 

The subtle signs a coworker likes you

Looking for the subtle signs a coworker likes you is not exactly hard, but takes a bit of insight. You need to be able to read between the lines and just read people in general.

The chances are this coworker is trying to hide their feelings or at least not be obvious about them. But, if you are keen on making a move and asking them out, you will want to know if they like you for sure.

Here are the subtle signs a coworker likes you.

#1 They stare. This is one of those subtle signs someone likes you since first grade. When someone stares, they like you. And it doesn’t mean they are being creepy or ogling. They just are attracted to you and get distracted by that.

So, unless you have spinach in your teeth or toilet paper on your shoe, if someone is staring discreetly, it is a sign a coworker likes you.

#2 They know what’s going on with you. When a coworker likes you, they seem to always know what is going on with you. Whether they are up to date on all your Instagram stories or know the project you’re working on, they are always interested.

Knowing what you’re doing gives them a reason to talk to you.

#3 They make time for you. When you’re at work the priority is work, right? Well, a sign a coworker likes you is when they are taking time away from that for you. Whether they take an extra few minutes to chat to you in the break room or delay heading home to spend time with you, the chances are this coworker like you.

#4 They talk to you about non-work topics. We all have work friends. Someone who is showing subtle signs they like you will be more in depth. They won’t just rant about your boss or Angie in accounting messing up your check.

They will talk to you about their family and friends. Also, they will ask you about your life outside of work.

#5 They cling to you at work events. One of the clearest subtle signs a coworker likes you is the effort they make to spend time with you. Not only will they double check that you are coming to the company picnic or holiday party, but they will be waiting for you to arrive.

Once you get there, they will get you a drink and cling to you if they can.

#6 They make you a priority. This can mean anything from making sure you’re handling your workload to reaching out if you’re late or bringing you soup when you’re sick. They always make sure you’re doing okay and regularly check in.

#7 They remember what you say. This is huge. If you’re anything like most people, you probably zone out at work a lot, especially when your coworker is talking about their aunt’s Sunday brunch. But, if a coworker likes you, they will remember every detail.

If you told them you were going to your grandmother’s birthday party over the weekend and that you bought her a sweater, they will follow-up on Monday by asking if your grandmother liked the sweater. Taking note of small things is a subtle, but strong, sign a coworker likes you.

#8 They notice any changes to your look. Did you cut your hair or buy a new suit? This is the person who will notice that. I have cut my hair many times over the years and even my own family overlooks it. But, when someone likes you, they stare, which means they know how you look to the smallest detail.

So, even if you just get a trim or style your hair differently, they will compliment it.

#9 They notice changes in your mood. If there is someone at work that knows when you’re having a bad day and tries to perk you up, chances are they are showing signs they like you.

Even if you are good at hiding your annoyance with your boss or are down for another reason, a coworker who likes you will be more in tune to your moods. 

#10 Body language. Body language is a huge sign a coworker likes you. It is subtle because it is a coworker. If someone you met at a bar likes you ,they may rub your leg. But, that is inappropriate work behavior.

So, take note of smaller and more subtle signs of body language. Do they hug you and linger? Do they put their hand on your shoulder when helping you with something? And do they make eye contact?

#11 They avoid their phone when you’re together. Most people are glued to their phones 24/7, especially at work. If you have any chance to be distracted, you take it. But, whether chatting with you, having lunch, or helping you with something and their phone is out of sight, they give you their undivided attention.

It is hard to come by undivided inattention nowadays. If your coworker keeps their phone away when with you, they are showing signs they like you.

#12 They try to impress you. I do not mean they will try to impress you with their killer presentation, but rather they will try to make you laugh or share their wild weekend plans.

They want you to like being around them, so they will do what they can to impress you. Think Jim and Pam from The Office. Jim’s practical jokes were enjoyable for all, but when he impressed Pam it meant so much more.

#13 They remember your food or coffee order. I can barely remember my own order let alone anyone else’s. If this coworker surprises you with coffee or your favorite takeout when working late, they like you.

When they don’t have to double check your favorite drink or that you like extra pickles on your sandwich and they aren’t the lunch delivery person, they like you.

#14 They are nervous. Being nervous is a telltale sign a coworker likes you. If they are flustered when you come by their office or blush when you compliment them, they probably like you. 

#15 You can feel it. The most subtle sign a coworker likes you is the feeling you get. This is not a science or even something you can explain. If you feel the chemistry, you probably already know.

You may be feeling excited and restless yourself, but take a breath and keep an eye on these signs. If these subtle signs a coworker likes you pop up, it may be time to make your move.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!